Headtable Hierarchy: Who Makes The Cut?

The wedding head table is a table where the newlyweds and their wedding VIPs sit during the reception. Traditionally, the head table includes the wedding party, but not their plus-ones or dates. However, modern couples are increasingly choosing to include the wedding party's plus-ones or dates at the head table as well, to avoid separating couples.

Sweetheart table vs. head table

When it comes to the seating arrangement for the newlyweds at the wedding reception, there are two popular options: the head table and the sweetheart table.

The Head Table

The head table is a larger table that includes the bridal party and/or close family members, in addition to the newlyweds. This option is ideal for those who want to be surrounded by their loved ones and honour those closest to them. It also makes toasting easier and ensures that guests don't feel separated from the couple. A head table may also require fewer tables overall, potentially saving costs. However, it can be cumbersome to include the bridal party's significant others, and it may not allow the couple much alone time or intimate moments during the reception.

The Sweetheart Table

The sweetheart table, on the other hand, is a smaller, more intimate setup that seats just the newlyweds. This option provides the couple with some rare alone time and an opportunity to relax and enjoy a quiet moment together. It also encourages the bridal party to mingle and relax with their dates or loved ones, rather than being separated from them. The sweetheart table setup can also facilitate easier movement for the couple to get up and converse with other guests. Additionally, the smaller table allows for more creative decoration options. However, the couple may feel more ""on display" and isolated from the rest of the guests, and the bridal party and family may feel excluded from the honour of being seated at the head table.

Both the sweetheart table and the head table have their advantages and disadvantages. The head table fosters a sense of inclusion and celebration with loved ones, while the sweetheart table offers intimate moments and encourages mingling between the bridal party and guests. Ultimately, the decision depends on the couple's preferences and what they value most for their special day.

Pros and cons of a head table

A head table is a long, grand table that is usually positioned centrally in the reception layout. It typically seats the newlyweds and their wedding party, honouring the bridal party and allowing the couple to keep their loved ones close.

Pros of a Head Table

• Surrounded by love: Sitting with your bridal party means you get to spend extra time with your closest friends and family.
• Honour the bridal party: The head table shows how prominent your wedding attendants are and is another way to honour them.
• Fewer tables needed: A large table with the bridal party means fewer guest tables are needed, which may save on costs.
• Enhanced visibility: The head table offers maximum visibility for guests, making it easier for everyone to see and interact with the couple.
• Bonding with the wedding party: Sitting together creates a sense of camaraderie, allowing the couple and wedding party to share special moments throughout the reception.
• Inclusive environment: A family-style head table that includes immediate family members promotes inclusivity and a warm, familiar atmosphere.
• Support system: Having family members close by offers emotional support and a sense of unity during the reception.
• Guests don't feel as separated: As opposed to a sweetheart table, a head table means you and your new spouse will be talking and laughing with others, lessening any perceived divides between you and your guests.

Cons of a Head Table

• Difficult seating dynamics: Bridesmaids and groomsmen may have partners or dates who don't know anyone else at the wedding and will feel awkward sitting alone. Including them at the head table can get unwieldy fast.
• Lack of alone time: Outside of photo sessions, a head table means you're unlikely to get any alone time with your new spouse.
• Inflexible layout: A large head table may limit your options for the rest of the seating layout.
• Isolating wedding party: If your wedding party members are in a relationship or have children, a traditional head table prevents them from sitting with those individuals.
• Space requirements: A long head table requires ample space, which may be challenging for venues with limited room capacity.
• Limited interaction: A head table may mean the couple misses out on enjoying the company of other guests throughout the dinner.
• Potential conflicts: Depending on family dynamics, seating certain individuals together may result in conflicts or discomfort.

Who sits at the head table

The head table at a wedding is a long, grand table that is central to the reception layout and typically provides seating for the married couple and their wedding party. The three most popular head table seating options are:

• You, your partner, and your honour attendants (maid of honour and best man)
• You, your partner, and your entire wedding party
• You, your partner, and your immediate families

However, there is no official wedding etiquette rule that requires newlyweds to have a wedding head table. If you're having an intimate wedding with 30 or fewer guests, a large feasting table for you and all your guests might be a better option.

Traditionally, the best man or woman and the maid or man of honour are placed next to the married couple, and the rest of the wedding party takes the remaining seats. In the past, wedding party plus-ones were not included at the head table, but this rule is largely ignored today. If seating the wedding party and their plus-ones makes the head table too large, some couples opt to have them seated at other tables by the dance floor, or choose a sweetheart table instead.

There are some alternatives to the traditional head table. One option is a sweetheart table, where only the married couple sits. Another option is a king's table, which includes the bridal party and their plus-ones.

Head table alternatives

Head tables are a crucial aspect of wedding planning, serving as the focal point of the reception and accommodating the couple and their wedding party. However, there are various alternatives to the traditional head table setup. Here are some creative options to explore:

Sweetheart Table

A sweetheart table is a romantic and intimate option featuring a small table set for just the newlyweds. This setup allows the couple to share their first meal as a married couple privately and offers an opportunity for meaningful conversations without distractions. While this option may provide limited interaction with the wedding party during dinner, it can be a great way for shy couples to avoid being the centre of attention.

Kings Table

A king's table is a grand and inclusive alternative, consisting of a long, rectangular or square table placed in the middle of the room. This setup accommodates the couple, wedding party, and their dates, creating a more intimate atmosphere. Everyone sits face-to-face, fostering a sense of camaraderie, and the table is surrounded by the lovely wedding guests on both sides.

Family-Style Head Table

For couples who want to involve their families closely, a family-style head table is a wonderful option. This setup includes immediate family members such as parents and siblings, seated alongside the couple and wedding party. It promotes inclusivity and a warm, familial atmosphere, ensuring that loved ones feel connected and supported during the reception. However, it may require more space and careful consideration of family dynamics to avoid potential conflicts.

Rotating Seats

If you want to spend time with different groups of guests, consider having rotating seats at each table. You, your spouse, and your bridal party (in pairs) can take turns sitting at different tables for each course. This approach is ideal for weddings with multiple courses or a smaller number of tables, allowing you to socialise and connect with a variety of guests throughout the reception.

Table Swapping with Families

Similar to rotating seats, this alternative involves swapping between family tables. You and your spouse can enjoy dining with each set of parents, and if there are siblings in the bridal party, it works out perfectly. This option ensures that you spend quality time with your closest family members and provides a more intimate setting for conversations and celebrations.

Blending with Guests

If you prefer a more casual and intimate atmosphere, you can choose to sit at a regular guest table with your wedding party and their dates. This option eliminates the traditional head table altogether, creating a more relaxed and blended dining experience. It's a great way to avoid the spotlight and enjoy the company of your bridal party and loved ones throughout the meal.

These alternatives offer flexibility and creativity in planning your wedding reception seating arrangements. Whether you choose a sweetheart table, a king's table, or something else entirely, remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Feel free to mix and match these ideas or create your own unique variation to suit your preferences and the dynamics of your wedding party.

Head table etiquette

The head table is a long, grand table that is central to the reception layout and typically provides seating for the married couple and their wedding party. It is not a requirement to have a head table, and some couples may opt for a sweetheart table instead, where only the married couple sits together.

If you do choose to have a head table, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to consider who will sit at the table. The three most popular options are:

• The married couple, their honour attendants (maid of honour and best man), and their plus-ones.
• The married couple and their entire wedding party, including their plus-ones.
• The married couple and their immediate families.

It is worth noting that traditionally, wedding party plus-ones did not sit at the head table. However, this rule has largely been ignored in modern times, as couples prefer to have their wedding party members sit with their loved ones. If your wedding party and their plus-ones make the head table too large, you may opt to have them seated at other tables near the dance floor or choose a sweetheart table instead.

Another thing to consider is the layout of the head table. The traditional style has every person in the bridal party facing out, with no one directly across from them. This makes it easier for photographers to take pictures and gives the bridal party a clear view of the dance floor. However, this style is not recommended for large bridal parties as it is costly and inefficient in terms of space utilisation.

An alternative layout option is to have a round or rectangular table, with the married couple sitting on the side facing the guests, and their family or friends seated around them. This layout maximises table space but means that some guests will have their backs to the action. It also makes it harder for photographers to get shots of the married couple during dinner or toasts.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to have a head table or a sweetheart table, and who to include, is up to the married couple. There is no official wedding etiquette rule, and couples should choose the option that best suits their preferences and the dynamics of their wedding party and families.

Frequently asked questions