The Importance Of Having Bridesmaids On Your Wedding Day

Bridesmaids are a staple at weddings, but their roles and responsibilities have evolved over time. The main duty of a bridesmaid is to support the bride, both emotionally and logistically, in the lead-up to and on the big day. Bridesmaids are typically the bride's closest friends and/or family members, chosen to be by her side and provide assistance as needed. While the maid of honour usually takes the lead, bridesmaids help with planning and executing the wedding, including pre-wedding events, decorations, and addressing invitations. They also ensure the bride is ready for the ceremony, from helping her get dressed to calming her nerves. Interestingly, the tradition of bridesmaids stems from ancient times, where they served as protection against evil spirits and jealous suitors by dressing like the bride to create confusion.

Bridesmaids' duties before the wedding

Being a bridesmaid is a great honour and a lot of fun, but it can also be a lot of work. Here are some of the key duties that bridesmaids typically take on in the lead-up to the wedding:

Planning and Paying for Pre-Wedding Events

Planning the hen/bachelorette party and bridal shower are two of the biggest pre-wedding duties for bridesmaids. The maid of honour will usually take the lead, but bridesmaids are expected to support her efforts and chip in financially. This might involve making reservations, buying decorations, or creating a detailed itinerary for the group.

Attending Appointments and Offer Opinions

Bridesmaids often attend dress appointments and offer support in choosing the bride's attire. They may also be asked for their opinions on the bridesmaids' attire, hair, or makeup. It's important to stay positive and not offer any negative feedback, as this can confuse and stress the bride.

Emotional Support

Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's crucial for bridesmaids to provide emotional support to the bride. This includes checking in regularly, lending a sympathetic ear, and helping to keep the bride calm and relaxed throughout the planning process.

Practical Support

Bridesmaids can also offer practical support by visiting the wedding venue, meeting the wedding coordinator, and offering to be a point of contact on the day for any issues. They can also help with wedding DIY sessions, transport, and last-minute errands.

Stay Organised and Communicate

Bridesmaids should keep on top of the wedding day timeline and be prepared to answer basic questions from vendors. They should also communicate openly with the bride and other members of the bridal party to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Gifts and Registry

It is customary for bridesmaids to send an engagement gift to the couple and to give a wedding gift, typically from the couple's registry. They may also contribute to group gifts for the bridal shower or wedding.

Bridesmaids' duties on the wedding day

The main role of a bridesmaid is to assist the bride in the lead-up to the wedding and to support her on the big day itself. Bridesmaids are also there to support the maid of honour or matron of honour, who is in charge of the other bridesmaids.

On the wedding day, bridesmaids are expected to:

• Get ready with the other bridesmaids and the bride, keeping the atmosphere upbeat and positive
• Help the bride with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil
• Keep the bride hydrated and ensure she eats breakfast
• Take the bride's bouquet during the ceremony
• Assist the bride with her dress and veil throughout the day, especially when posing for photos
• Be available for wedding photos
• Mingle with guests and direct them to parking areas, bathrooms, etc.
• Make a speech, if requested
• Check in with the newlyweds throughout the party to ensure they are getting enough food and water
• Help the bride with any outfit changes and bathroom breaks
• Assist with younger members of the bridal party
• Help with any send-off planned by the couple, such as a sparkler exit
• Take the wedding bouquet and put it in water to preserve it
• Help the bride out of her dress and pack it so it doesn't get damaged

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Bridesmaids' duties after the wedding

Bridesmaids are generally the most important people in the to-be-wed's circle of loved ones, such as best friends or relatives. They are part of the wedding party, which usually consists of the maid or matron of honour, best man, groomsmen, and other attendants chosen by the couple. While the main focus of a bridesmaid's duties is to support the bride before and during the wedding, there are some duties that extend beyond the wedding day. Here are some bridesmaids' duties to be aware of after the wedding:

Attend the Farewell Party

The couple may host a farewell party or post-wedding brunch the morning after the wedding. As a bridesmaid, you are expected to attend and be on time. It is a good idea to set an alarm the day before and drink plenty of water to avoid a hangover. You can also text the newlyweds to see if they need anything, such as extra-large coffees delivered to their room. Then, you can enjoy the morning with the happy couple.

Organise Miscellaneous Items

If you helped take down decorations or collected gifts and cards during the reception, it is important to organise and return any miscellaneous items a few days after the wedding. This ensures that nothing is forgotten or misplaced.

Settle Outstanding Payments

Don't delay in settling any remaining expenses that need to be split among the bridal party or other attendees. Send your payment requests or reimbursements promptly to avoid surprising anyone.

Offer Post-Wedding Support

Even after the wedding, it is important to continue providing emotional support to the bride, who may experience post-wedding blues or stress from adjusting to married life. Be available and present for your friend, offering help and a listening ear whenever needed.

The history of bridesmaids

The tradition of having bridesmaids at weddings goes back to ancient times. In Ancient Rome, bridesmaids were not the bride's friends or relatives but her domestic workers, who would cater to her every need on the wedding day. In ancient China during the feudal era, bridesmaids took on the responsibility of protecting the bride from rival clans and hooligans who might kidnap her.

In both these cultures, bridesmaids wore similar dresses to the bride, and sometimes veils, to confuse evil spirits and bandits, and to make it difficult for suitors or robbers to identify the bride. This tradition was also practised in ancient times when the bride and all the bridesmaids wore identical outfits and veiled their faces.

The tradition of having multiple bridesmaids was also a way for families to show off their social status and wealth. The number of bridesmaids chosen would depend on the social status of the bride's family.

In Biblical times, the story of Jacob and his two wives, Leah and Rachel, is thought to be the origin of "bridesmaid duties". Both women brought their maids to the wedding, and these women were servants or slaves.

The tradition of bridesmaids wearing matching dresses is thought to have started with Queen Victoria, who married Prince Albert in 1840. She and her 12 bridesmaids all wore identical white dresses, which is also where the tradition of royal brides wearing white comes from.

The cost of being a bridesmaid

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a costly experience. The expenses can quickly add up, from the dress to travel, gifts, and more. So, what exactly are the costs involved in being a bridesmaid, and how can you prepare for them?

The Average Cost

According to a WeddingWire study, the cost of being a bridesmaid is about $1,200 per wedding, but this can increase to over $1,800. The cost varies depending on the region, with bridesmaids on the West Coast paying an average of $1,360, and those in the Midwest paying the least at $1,100. The average cost includes various expenses, from the dress to pre-wedding events and travel.

Clothing and Accessories

One of the most significant expenses for a bridesmaid is the dress, which can cost around $130-$150, or even up to $165, according to a Weddington Way survey. Alterations are often needed and can cost around $30-$100. Additionally, bridesmaids may be expected to purchase matching accessories, such as shoes, which can cost around $71, and other items like jewellery or hairpieces, bringing the total accessories cost to around $120.

Hair and Makeup

Bridesmaids may be required to have their hair and makeup done professionally, which can cost around $72 and $60 respectively. However, this may be optional, and some bridesmaids may choose to do their hair and makeup themselves.

Pre-Wedding Events

Bridesmaids are usually expected to attend and contribute to various pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. These events can be costly, especially if they involve travel. The bachelorette party alone can cost a bridesmaid over $300, or even up to $400 for a destination party.

Travel and Accommodations

If the wedding is not local, bridesmaids will need to budget for travel expenses, which can vary greatly depending on the distance. Accommodations are also a significant expense, with bridesmaids often needing to pay for 1-2 nights in a hotel, which can be more expensive for big cities or tourist destinations.

Gifts

In addition to all the other expenses, bridesmaids are also expected to purchase a wedding gift for the couple. This is usually something from the couple's registry, and bridesmaids can expect to spend around $125 on this.

Managing the Costs

Being a bridesmaid can be financially challenging, but there are ways to manage the costs. It is important to have an open conversation with the bride about expectations and budgets. The bride may be willing to help with certain expenses, and there may be opportunities to save money, such as by choosing a less expensive destination for the bachelorette party or opting for cheaper accessories. Additionally, bridesmaids can offer their time and support in non-financial ways, such as helping with wedding planning or providing emotional support.

Frequently asked questions