Exploring Gender Norms: Bridesmaids And Their Identities

do bridesmaids have to be female

While the terms bridesmaid and groomsman have gendered associations rooted in old traditions, modern weddings are increasingly gender-inclusive. Bridesmaids are typically young women and often the bride's close friends or relatives, but there is no rule saying that the wedding party must be separated by gender. Bridesmen, groomswomen, men of honour, and best people can all be part of the wedding party. Ultimately, the wedding party should include the people closest to the couple, regardless of gender.

Characteristics Values
Gender In modern times, bridesmaids don't have to be female and can be any gender.
Number There can be any number of bridesmaids, depending on the bride's preferences, family size, and number of attendants the partner wants.
Roles and Responsibilities The chief bridesmaid, also known as the maid of honor, has more responsibilities than the other bridesmaids, such as leading the bridal party in planning pre-wedding events and providing practical and emotional support to the bride on the wedding day.
Costs Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, with costs for travel, parties, and gifts adding up.
Titles Bridesmaids can be given gender-neutral titles such as "wedding party member" or "bride's companion".
Attire Bridesmaids' attire can be chosen to match the colour scheme of the wedding or be left up to the individual.

shunbridal

Gender-inclusive wedding roles

Asking Your Wedding Party

When asking your friend or family member to be part of your wedding party, consider simply asking, "Will you be in my wedding?" This approach avoids any potential discomfort around gendered titles.

You have several options for listing your wedding party in the ceremony program. You can list them as "Bride's Companions" and "Groom's Companions" or use your names instead. Alternatively, list everyone together as "The Wedding Party" or omit the list of names altogether.

Attire

Choosing attire for a mixed-gender wedding party can be a challenge. One option is to let your wedding party wear whatever they want, as long as it matches your chosen colour scheme. This will result in an eclectic mix of styles but ensures everyone wears something they love and feel comfortable in.

If you prefer a more cohesive look, there are still ways to include a mixed-gender wedding party. For example, a female groomsman could wear a smart, fitted suit, or a male bridesman could accessorise with a tie and pocket square that matches the bridesmaids' dresses. You could even have a custom suit made from the dress fabric!

Pre-Wedding Events

Planning pre-wedding events, such as bachelor and bachelorette parties, can be tricky when you have a mixed-gender wedding party. The key is to choose activities that everyone will enjoy. You could also combine the bachelor and bachelorette parties into one big celebration with the entire wedding party.

Walking Down the Aisle

On the day of the wedding, there's no need to worry about who walks with whom during the recessional. Keep it casual and have wedding party members of the same gender simply walk next to each other. You could even play some upbeat music and have them dance down the aisle!

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, your wedding party should include your closest friends and family, regardless of gender. Modern weddings are all about celebrating love, friendship, and diversity. So, feel free to shake up tradition and create a wedding party that truly reflects your joy, style, and support system.

shunbridal

Titles for a male bridesmaid or female groomsman

While the terms "bridesmaid" and "groomsman" have gendered associations rooted in old traditions, modern weddings are doing away with these gendered titles and embracing gender-inclusive wedding parties.

A male bridesmaid is commonly referred to as a "bridesman". Other titles include:

  • Man of honour: The bride's closest male attendant.
  • Bridesmate
  • Male of honour
  • Pageboy or Head Pageboy

A female groomsman is often called a "groomslady" or "groomswoman". Other titles include:

  • Best woman: The groom's closest female attendant.
  • Groomsfriend
  • Dude of honour
  • Bestie

Gender-Neutral Alternatives

Some couples opt for gender-neutral alternatives, such as:

  • Attendants to the bride/groom
  • Honour attendants
  • Wedding party
  • Bridal council
  • Groom's council
  • Crew
  • Gang
  • Posse

shunbridal

Wedding attire for a mixed-gender wedding party

The terms "bridesmaid" and "groomsman" carry gendered associations that are rooted in old traditions. However, modern weddings are increasingly gender-inclusive, and there are no rules that say you need to separate your wedding party by gender. Bridesmaids can be male, and groomsmen can be female.

When it comes to choosing attire for a mixed-gender wedding party, there are a few options to consider. One option is to let your wedding party wear whatever they want, as long as it matches your chosen colour scheme. This will create an eclectic mix of styles and allow everyone to wear something they love.

If you prefer a more cohesive look, there are several ways to achieve this. For example, a female groomsman could wear a smart, fitted suit, or a male bridesman could wear a custom suit made from the same fabric as the bridesmaids' dresses. Alternatively, a male bridesman could accessorise with a tie and pocket square that matches the bridesmaids' dresses.

For a best woman, consider a dress similar to the bridesmaids' in a darker hue, or a dress that matches the colour of the groomsmen's suits. She could also wear a suit. Use bouquets and boutonnieres to help coordinate the wedding party, choosing colours or varieties that tie everyone together.

When asking friends or family members to be part of your mixed-gender wedding party, it is best to keep it simple. "Will you be in my wedding?" should get the message across without making anyone uncomfortable.

When it comes to titles, the words "bridesmaid" and "groomsman" are loaded with gender connotations, and someone who doesn't identify with that gender may feel uncomfortable. You could use gender-neutral terms such as "wedding party member" or "attendant". Alternatively, you could use terms like bridesman or groomslady.

For the principal attendant, you could choose "maid of honour" or "matron of honour" for a married or mature woman, or man of honour for a male attendant. The groom could have a "best man", "best woman", or "best person". Ultimately, the best rule of thumb is to talk with the person in your wedding party and decide on a term that you are both comfortable with.

Pre-Wedding Events

When planning pre-wedding events such as bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and bachelor parties, it is important to consider the comfort level of your mixed-gender wedding party. For example, a male bridesman may not be interested in a lingerie-themed bridal shower or a spa weekend for the bachelorette party.

You could plan activities that everyone will enjoy, or combine the bachelor and bachelorette parties for one big celebration with the entire wedding party. For big pre-wedding moments, try to plan activities that everyone will want to join in on.

Walking Down the Aisle

On the day of the wedding, the wedding party, regardless of gender, should process down the aisle and stand by the side of their close friend getting married. There are a few options for how they arrive at the altar. They could escort each other or walk individually down the aisle. Alternatively, they could simply walk next to each other, or even dance out of the ceremony to some upbeat music.

shunbridal

Pre-wedding event planning for a mixed-gender wedding party

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but it's also an exciting time! If you're planning a mixed-gender wedding party, there are a few things to keep in mind when it comes to pre-wedding events. Here are some tips to help you navigate the planning process:

Invitations and Guest Lists

When it comes to pre-wedding events like engagement parties, bridal showers, and bachelor/bachelorette parties, it's important to consider the comfort level of your wedding party members. Be sure to check in with them before sending out invitations. For example, your male bridesmaid may not feel comfortable at a lingerie-themed bridal shower. Try to plan activities that everyone will enjoy, or combine the bachelor and bachelorette parties into one big celebration!

Attire

Choosing attire for a mixed-gender wedding party can be a fun and creative process. One option is to mix it up and tell your wedding party to wear whatever they want, as long as it matches your chosen color scheme. This will result in an eclectic and unique look for your wedding party. If you prefer a more cohesive look, there are still ways to include a mix of genders. For female groomsmen, consider renting a smart, fitted suit. For male bridesmaids, accessorizing with a tie and pocket square that matches the bridesmaids' dresses can be a great option. You could even get a custom suit made from the dress fabric!

Pre-Wedding Events

When it comes to pre-wedding events, don't feel limited by traditional gender roles. Plan activities that you and your wedding party will enjoy, regardless of gender. For example, if you and your bridesmaids usually bond over spa days, but your male bridesmaid isn't interested, invite them to join the groomsmen for an old-fashioned shave instead. Or, plan a co-ed group party and include everyone!

The titles you give to your wedding party are entirely up to you and your friends. Some options for mixed-gender wedding parties include "bridesmen," "groomsladies," "man of honor," "best woman," or simply "wedding party members." The most important thing is to choose a term that you and your friend are both comfortable with.

Walking Down the Aisle

There are no rules when it comes to how your wedding party walks down the aisle. You can stick to the traditional route of different-sex couples or have each person walk alone or in same-sex pairs. You could even have some fun and mix it up with groups of twos or threes, regardless of gender!

Remember, your wedding party should be made up of your closest friends and family, regardless of their gender. With a little creativity and communication, you can easily plan pre-wedding events that include and celebrate everyone.

shunbridal

Wedding procession for a mixed-gender wedding party

Nowadays, bridesmaids don't have to be female. Many couples opt for mixed-gender wedding parties, which allow them to include their closest friends in their bridal party, regardless of gender. This shift towards inclusive practices means that brides can have a "man of honour" or a "best woman", and grooms can have "groomswomen" or "bridesmen".

Wedding procession ideas for a mixed-gender wedding party:

If you're planning a mixed-gender wedding procession, here are some ideas to consider:

  • Walking separately: Each member of the wedding party can walk down the aisle individually, regardless of gender. This approach ensures that everyone feels comfortable and can walk at their own pace.
  • Pairing up: You can pair up members of the wedding party, such as a bridesmaid with a groomsman, a bridesman with a bridesmaid, or even two members of the same gender together. This creates a sense of balance and can make for a visually appealing entrance.
  • Alternating: You can alternate between a groomsman and a bridesmaid or bridesman, creating a mixed-gender procession that feels cohesive. This option works well if you have an even number of attendants on each side.
  • Grouping by side: Another option is to have all of the groom's attendants walk down the aisle together, followed by all of the bride's attendants. This approach ensures that everyone is walking with the same gender but still allows for a mixed-gender wedding party.
  • Mixing it up: If you want to embrace a more casual and eclectic vibe, you can simply let your wedding party walk down the aisle however they feel comfortable. This could mean same-gender pairs, mixed-gender pairs, or even individuals walking solo.

Remember, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to modern weddings. The most important thing is to ensure that everyone in your wedding party feels included, valued, and comfortable with their role and attire.

Frequently asked questions

No, bridesmaids do not have to be female. Brides can have male or non-binary friends as part of their wedding party.

A male bridesmaid is called a bridesman.

A male bridesmaid can wear a custom suit made from the same fabric as the bridesmaids' dresses. Alternatively, they can wear a suit that matches the colour of the groomsmen's suits.

You can refer to your wedding party members as "wedding party members" or attendants to eliminate gender from their titles.

Mixed-gender wedding parties can be invited to all events that the rest of the attendants are going to. However, it is important to check in with them beforehand to ensure they will feel comfortable attending.

Written by
Reviewed by
Share this post
Print
Did this article help you?

Leave a comment