Legal Marriage: Before The Wedding Bells?

Getting legally married before your wedding has become an increasingly popular choice for couples. There are many reasons why a couple may choose to do this, including the desire to have a destination wedding, the need to take some pressure off the big day, or simply because they don't want to wait. Some couples may also choose to get legally married first in order to enjoy the benefits of marriage, such as shared insurance policies or the ability to make a big purchase together. Ultimately, the decision to get legally married before the wedding is a personal one, and couples should do what feels right for them.

It's a great option if you're anxious about public speaking

If you're anxious about public speaking, getting legally married before your wedding can be a great option. Here are some reasons why:

Reduce Wedding Day Anxiety

Getting legally married beforehand can help you view your wedding as a celebration or party with friends and family, rather than a monumental and nerve-wracking event. It can also be a way to make your wedding day less stressful by separating the legal process from the ceremonial festivities. This way, you can focus on enjoying your special day without worrying about the legal aspects.

Practice Your Vows

If you're nervous about reciting your vows in front of a large audience, getting legally married beforehand gives you the opportunity to practice. You can choose to have a civil ceremony just between the two of you or with a few close friends or family members as witnesses. This intimate setting allows you to focus on your commitment to each other and can make the experience more meaningful and personal.

Focus on Your Personal Vows

By taking care of the legalities in advance, you can dedicate more time and attention to writing and refining your personal vows. This is especially beneficial if you want to include romantic or heartfelt sentiments in your wedding ceremony.

Keep It a Secret

If you prefer to keep your legal marriage a secret, that is also an option. You can choose to share the news with only your closest friends or family, or even keep it entirely between the two of you. This way, you can still have the excitement and anticipation of sharing your commitment with your loved ones on your wedding day.

Ease into Public Speaking

If you want to improve your public speaking skills and reduce anxiety, you can practice by giving a speech at your legal marriage ceremony. This can be a less intimidating way to face your fears and build your confidence. You can also implement techniques to manage speech anxiety, such as deep breathing or visualization exercises.

You can focus on your personal vows

Getting married is a big step, and it's only natural to feel anxious about it. If you're feeling nervous about reciting your vows in front of a large crowd, you can consider getting legally married before your wedding day. This way, you can focus on writing and reciting personal vows in an intimate setting.

• Voice your admiration: Express your love and appreciation for your partner. Gush about their qualities and why you admire them.
• Cast a vision for the future: Paint a picture of the life you want to build together. Share your dreams, goals, and aspirations for your future as a married couple.
• Incorporate stories: Include romantic stories or funny anecdotes about your relationship. Share how you knew your partner was "the one" or recount a memorable date or shared experience.
• Make solid promises: Think about the commitments you want to make and the kind of partner you want to be. Voice your enduring love and dedication, especially during challenging times.
• Connect with your audience: Your vows are not only for your partner but also for the loved ones witnessing your ceremony. Acknowledge their presence and the role they've played in your relationship.

Remember, your vows should be a reflection of your unique relationship. Be authentic, speak from the heart, and don't be afraid to infuse your vows with humour or inside jokes that celebrate your bond.

By focusing on your personal vows, you can make your wedding day even more special and meaningful.

It's a good idea if you're having a destination wedding

If you're planning a destination wedding, it's a good idea to get legally married before your wedding day. Here are some reasons why:

• Legal requirements: Depending on the country where your destination wedding will take place, there may be specific legal requirements that you need to fulfil in order for your marriage to be recognised. These can include residency requirements, blood tests, and providing various documents such as birth certificates and proof of divorce or death of former spouses. By getting legally married in your home country beforehand, you can avoid the hassle and stress of navigating these requirements in a foreign country.
• Cost savings: Getting legally married in your home country can also save you money. Destination weddings often involve additional costs for legal filings, documentation, and translation services. By handling the legal aspects of your marriage at home, you can reduce these expenses.
• Time efficiency: Obtaining the necessary documents, scheduling blood tests, and fulfilling other legal requirements can take a significant amount of time and effort. By taking care of these matters before your destination wedding, you'll have more time to relax and enjoy your special day.
• Avoiding delays: Some countries have waiting periods or processing times for legal marriages. For example, it can take several weeks to receive your marriage certificate after your wedding. By getting legally married in your home country, you can avoid these delays and have your marriage recognised immediately.
• Simplicity: If you're having a religious or symbolic ceremony at your destination wedding, getting legally married beforehand can simplify the process. You won't need to worry about finding an officiant who is authorised to perform legal marriages or navigating the legal requirements of the country where your wedding will take place.
• Focus on celebration: By separating the legal and celebratory aspects of your marriage, you can fully immerse yourself in the joy and excitement of your destination wedding. You won't need to worry about the legal technicalities and can instead focus on creating lasting memories with your loved ones.

You can include people who can't attend your big wedding

It is becoming increasingly common for couples to get legally married before their wedding ceremony, whether for logistical reasons, to reduce anxiety, or due to changes in wedding plans. If you are considering getting legally married before your wedding and are worried about including those who can't attend, here are some ideas to ensure they are still part of your special day:

• In-Person Attendance: If you are getting legally married before your wedding due to a change in plans, such as postponement or a destination wedding, consider inviting your closest friends or family members to the legal ceremony. This way, they can still share this intimate moment with you and celebrate with you in person.
• Virtual Attendance: With the advancements of technology, it is now easier than ever to include people who can't be physically present. Consider live-streaming your legal ceremony so that those who can't attend can witness the special moment virtually. This is especially useful if you have guests who are unable to travel or are dealing with health issues.
• Memorial Table: If you have loved ones who have passed away and are unable to be at your wedding, consider setting up a memorial table with their framed photos. This is usually placed near the entrance to the cocktail hour or reception, creating a heartfelt welcome for your guests. You can also include a sign with a sentiment such as "Forever In Our Hearts" and a memorial candle to complete the tribute.
• In Memoriam Section: Another way to honour deceased loved ones is to include an "In Memoriam" section in your wedding program. This can be a heartfelt way to acknowledge their absence without making the tone of the ceremony too somber. Alternatively, you can choose to read their names aloud or light a memorial candle in their honour during the ceremony.
• Personal Touches: Include personal touches in your wedding that represent those who can't be there. For example, you can incorporate a special item or memento that belonged to them into your bouquet or wedding attire. This way, you carry a piece of them with you as you walk down the aisle.
• Skype or Video Call: If a family member is unable to attend due to unforeseen circumstances, such as illness or injury, consider setting up a Skype or video call during the ceremony so they can still witness your special moment. This way, they can be virtually present and share in the joy of your wedding.
• Post-Wedding Celebrations: For those who can't attend your legal ceremony or wedding, plan a post-wedding celebration to include them in the festivities. This could be a simple get-together or a more formal event where you share stories, photos, and memories from your wedding day. It's a great way to make them feel included and part of your joy.

Remember, the most important thing is to make your wedding feel meaningful to you and your partner. By incorporating these ideas, you can ensure that those who can't attend in person are still included and celebrated on your special day.

It takes the pressure off your big day

A wedding day is often a high-pressure, high-stress event. By getting legally married ahead of time, you can take some of the burden off your shoulders and rest easy during your wedding celebration, knowing that the serious stuff has already been taken care of.

If you're feeling anxious about your wedding day, getting legally married beforehand can help minimise your worries and allow you to focus on enjoying the moment. It's no secret that weddings are stressful, but getting the legalities out of the way first can help take some of the pressure off. This is especially true if you're not great at public speaking or being the centre of attention. By doing the legal ceremony ahead of time, you can save the vows that matter most for your wedding day, when you're surrounded by your loved ones.

Getting legally married in advance can also be a practical solution if you're having a destination wedding. It can be difficult to navigate the legal requirements of getting married abroad, so taking care of the legal ceremony at home can simplify the process. This is also a good option if you need to be legally married for insurance, financial, or other logistical reasons.

Additionally, getting legally married before your wedding day gives you the freedom to customise your celebration. You can choose to include non-traditional elements, such as hanging out with your partner before the ceremony or changing up the order of events, without worrying about legal restrictions. It also means that anyone can officiate your ceremony, giving you and your officiant full flexibility to write a ceremony that reflects your unique relationship.

Frequently asked questions