Bringing Babies To Weddings: What You Need To Know

There are differing opinions on whether it is appropriate to bring a baby to a wedding. Some people believe that it is natural for babies to cry, and that it is therefore inconsiderate to bring them to a wedding, especially if the ceremony is being recorded. Others argue that infants are a separate category to children, and that breastfeeding babies, in particular, should be allowed at weddings as they do not take up space and their parents can easily remove them if they start to cry. Ultimately, it is up to the couple getting married to decide whether or not they want babies at their wedding, but they should be prepared to receive criticism either way.

Guests adding their babies to the RSVPs

It is understandable that you may not want babies at your wedding, especially if you have hired a videographer and are worried about a baby interrupting the ceremony. It is also natural to want to keep your guest list numbers down. However, it is important to be prepared to receive some backlash if you decide not to allow babies, as this is a topic that can be quite divisive.

If you do decide that you do not want babies at your wedding, it is important to be clear and consistent in your messaging to guests. You could try something like the following:

> "We are asking that our guests who are parents take this opportunity to enjoy a night out without their children. We kindly request that you make arrangements for babysitting, and we have provided a list of local resources on our website."

Alternatively, you could include a poem on your wedding website and in the invitation envelope, such as:

> "To all our wonderful friends and family with babies and small children, the wedding is an evening affair, please leave your children under someone else's care."

However, it is important to note that some guests may still choose to add their babies to the RSVPs, especially if they are breastfeeding or have other special circumstances. In this case, you may need to have a difficult conversation with them and explain your reasons for not wanting babies at the wedding. It is also important to be understanding of their situation and offer alternatives or help them find a solution, such as suggesting a sitter or hotel room in the area.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to allow babies at your wedding is a personal one, and you should do what feels right for you and your fiancé. Be prepared for some guests to decide not to attend if babies are not allowed, and try to be consistent in your approach to avoid causing offence.

Breastfeeding infants

Bringing a breastfeeding infant to a wedding can be a daunting task, but with some planning, it can be manageable. Here are some tips to help you navigate the process:

Option 1: Leave your baby with a caregiver and attend the wedding without them

If you choose to leave your baby with a caregiver, such as a family member or a trusted babysitter, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, you will need to pump and store enough breast milk to feed your baby while you are away. This can take some time, so plan ahead and start pumping in advance. Secondly, organise a caregiver who is comfortable with bottle-feeding and ensure they respect your wishes regarding paced feeding. Additionally, you will need to pump regularly while you are away to maintain your milk supply and avoid any discomfort or issues such as blocked ducts or mastitis. Consider your pumping logistics, such as accessing a private space and storing the pumped milk. Finally, be prepared for the emotional aspect of being separated from your baby. It can be more challenging than expected, and it is essential to listen to your instincts and do what feels right for you and your baby.

Option 2: Bring your baby to the wedding and have a caregiver on-site

If you prefer to have your baby close by, you can bring them to the wedding and organise a caregiver, such as a family member or a hired babysitter, to be with them on-site. Book a room for the caregiver and baby, so they have a comfortable space to retreat to. This option allows you to have easy access to your baby for feeding while also giving you some time to socialise and enjoy the wedding. Keep in mind that this option may incur additional costs for the caregiver and the hotel room.

Option 3: Bring your baby with you to the wedding

If you feel more comfortable having your baby by your side, you can bring them to the wedding. Contact the couple getting married and express your concerns about leaving your baby, emphasising that it would be easier for you to have them with you. Assure them that your baby will not require a place setting and is unlikely to cause a fuss as long as they are fed and cuddled. Consider wearing an outfit that is comfortable and easy to breastfeed in, such as a wrap dress or a top and trousers. Remember that you can still enjoy a drink or two while breastfeeding, as long as you time it right.

Additional considerations:

• Breastfeeding in public: Feel free to normalise breastfeeding in public, but if you prefer more privacy and discretion, you can use a breastfeeding cover.
• Baby's comfort: Bring footed pajamas for the evening or when it gets cooler.
• Babywearing carrier: Using a comfortable cloth carrier can make it easier for you to move around and socialise while keeping your baby snug and content.
• Hearing protection: Weddings can be loud, so consider purchasing ear muffs to protect your baby's hearing.
• White noise machines and car seat covers: These can help your baby relax and provide a barrier to prevent people from getting too close.
• Snacks and water: Bring your own snacks and water to ensure you stay nourished and hydrated, especially if you are breastfeeding.

Providing babysitting services

Finding a Babysitter

To find a babysitter for your wedding, you can start by asking for recommendations from your wedding vendors, local friends, or family members. You can also search for wedding babysitting services online or on platforms like The Knot Vendor Marketplace. When hiring a babysitter, be sure to check their qualifications, experience, and compatibility with your guests' children. It is also important to communicate your expectations for their care, including feeding, changing diapers, and playing.

Cost of Hiring a Wedding Babysitter

The cost of hiring a wedding babysitter will vary depending on factors such as geographic location, the number of children, experience and qualifications of the babysitter, and the duration of childcare. On average, you can expect to pay between $20-40 per hour for a wedding babysitter.

Benefits of Providing Wedding Childcare

Things to Consider

When providing babysitting services at your wedding, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, check with your guests to see if they would be interested in using a sitter and to get an estimate of the number of children that would need care. It is also important to communicate with your guests that you are providing a babysitter, by including this information on your wedding website and invitations. Finally, consider having the sitter arrive early to set up and get to know the space, and to allow parents to drop off their children before the ceremony if needed.

Guests' reactions to a no-babies rule

However, other guests, especially those who are close family or friends, may be offended or upset by the rule. They may feel that their children are important to them and, therefore, should be included in the couple's big day. This can be a very sensitive issue, especially for breastfeeding mothers or parents of young infants. Some guests may decline the invitation altogether if they are unable or unwilling to find alternative arrangements for their children.

In some cases, guests may even try to ignore or circumvent the rule, assuming that their child will be an exception, or that the couple doesn't really mean "no children." This can lead to tension and hurt feelings if the couple has to enforce the rule and turn away guests with children.

It's important for couples to be clear and consistent with their "no-babies" rule and to communicate it as early as possible to avoid confusion and hurt feelings. While some guests may be disappointed, ultimately, it is the couple's decision, and guests should respect their wishes.

Some guests may suggest that the couple is being unreasonable, especially in the case of breastfeeding infants who may not be a distraction and won't take up additional space or resources. In these cases, the couple may need to stand firm and politely reiterate their policy, offering to help guests find sitters or alternative arrangements if needed.

Crying babies during the ceremony

It is natural for babies to cry, and this is a concern for couples who do not want babies at their wedding. Crying babies can interrupt the ceremony, especially if the event is outdoors, leaving parents with no space to take the baby.

If you are worried about crying babies during your wedding ceremony, you could consider asking guests to leave their children with a babysitter. You could include a polite note with the invitation, asking parents to leave their children in someone else's care. You could also offer alternative options, such as providing a list of babysitting services in the area or even hiring a babysitter for the event.

However, some people may be offended by this request, and it is important to be prepared for some backlash. Some new parents may decide not to attend if they cannot bring their babies. If you are going to implement a "no babies" rule, it is essential to be clear and consistent with your guests.

Another option is to make an exception for infants, especially those who are breastfeeding or too young to be left with a sitter. Some people believe that infants are less likely to disrupt the event as they will likely be sleeping or with their parents. However, others argue that babies who are breastfeeding are more likely to cry uncontrollably during the ceremony.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to allow babies at your wedding is up to you and your partner. If you decide to stick to a "no babies" rule, be prepared for some guests to decline the invitation, and consider offering alternative options or providing resources for babysitting services.

Frequently asked questions