Announcing Your Engagement: How Far Is Too Far?

There is no one right time to announce your engagement, but there are some times to avoid sharing your news. If you have loved ones who are also engaged or getting married soon, it is generally advised to wait at least a month before or after their wedding to announce your engagement. This allows them to have their moment in the spotlight without stealing their thunder. It is also considered inappropriate to announce your engagement at a loved one's wedding-related event, such as a wedding shower, bachelorette party, or engagement party.

When deciding how to announce your engagement, it is essential to consider the feelings of your loved ones and avoid making your announcement at a time that could be seen as insensitive or attention-seeking. It is also important to savour the moment with your partner and not feel rushed into sharing the news with everyone right away.

Once you are ready to share your news, it is recommended to first tell your immediate family and closest friends, either in person or via a phone call, before posting on social media. This ensures that the people closest to you do not feel left out or forgotten.

Tell your immediate crew first

Once you're engaged, it's important to spend time enjoying the moment and celebrating with your fiancé. But if you're eager to share the news, it's best to let your closest friends and family members know before telling the entire world.

If you have children, they should be at the top of your list, followed by your parents or parent figures in your life. Even if they already know about the proposal, they will be eagerly awaiting your reaction and will want to share this special moment with you.

Next, tell your siblings, especially if you are close in age or relationship. If you have a strained relationship with any of your siblings, you may choose to send a text or ask a parent to share the news on your behalf.

Your closest friends should also be made aware of your engagement before you post about it on social media. Even if they already know, they will be excited to hear from you and celebrate with you.

You can choose to gather your nearest and dearest together and tell them all at once, or let each of them know individually. If you go with the second option, be sure to tell them one after another so that they all find out on the same day and don't feel left out.

There are many ways to announce your engagement to your immediate crew. You can call or Facetime them, or visit them in person. If you and your partner are close with your parents or future parents-in-law, an in-person visit would likely be appreciated. You can also take them out to brunch, lunch, or dinner, or host them at your house. If you're not able to meet in person, a text with a photo of your ring or proposal is also a great way to share the news.

Talk through the potential drama

There are a few things to consider when it comes to talking through the potential drama surrounding your engagement announcement. Firstly, be mindful of the timing. If you have a friend whose wedding is coming up, it's best to avoid announcing your engagement too close to their big day as it might upset them. It's also important to consider if there are certain people you want to hide the engagement from. For example, if you're worried about someone crashing the wedding or sending rude messages.

Another thing to think about is whether there are certain people you need to tell right away before the news starts spreading and they get offended. It's also a good idea to discuss anyone that should be kept out of the loop with your partner. This might include people who are not supportive of your relationship or those who might cause unnecessary drama.

To avoid drama, it's recommended to share the news with your nearest and dearest friends and family members first and only when you're ready. If you're planning a small wedding, you might want to keep the entire engagement private. On the other hand, if you're inviting a lot of guests, it's perfectly fine to announce your engagement when sending out "save the date" cards.

Overall, the key to avoiding drama is open and honest communication with your partner, close friends, and family. Be considerate of others' feelings and try to find a balance between sharing your happiness and being mindful of potential conflicts or sensitivities.

Schedule your social posts

There are several social media scheduling tools available that can help you plan and schedule your engagement announcement. Here are some tips and tools to help you schedule your social media posts effectively:

Consider Timing:

While there is no precise time to announce your engagement, you may want to avoid announcing it at a loved one's special event or too close to their wedding. Choose a time when your announcement can stand out and won't be tied to someone else's special day.

Create a Content Calendar:

Use a visual, straightforward posting calendar to plan your social media posts. This will help you gain a holistic overview of your content and ensure no overlap or gaps in posting. You can use tools like Hootsuite, Sprout Social, or Buffer, which offer content calendars to organize and plan your posts.

Collaborate with Your Partner:

Create content with your partner and decide how and when you want to share your engagement story. Discuss any potential drama or conflicts that might arise and agree on a strategy to handle them.

Choose the Right Tool for Your Needs:

Select a social media scheduling tool that suits your requirements and budget. Here are some popular options:

• SocialBee: Best overall tool with powerful content curation and publishing features. Offers AI caption generator and content approval workflows.
• Sendible: Great for growing agencies and individuals with scalable features and affordable pricing. Includes content queues and collaboration tools.
• Pallyy: Ideal for visual content, especially for platforms like Instagram and TikTok. Offers an easy scheduling workflow and a Feed Planner for Instagram aesthetic.
• Agorapulse: Perfect for agencies and social media managers with advanced reporting capabilities and collaboration features. Includes an AI writing assistant.
• Later: Intuitive and visual user interface with a Visual Planner to preview your Instagram feed. Provides hashtag and scheduling suggestions.

Craft a Compelling Story:

When creating your social media post, share the story of how you were proposed to and the emotions behind your response. Make it unique and personal to you and your partner.

Handle Potential Drama:

Be mindful of any potential drama or conflicts that might arise from your announcement. Discuss this with your partner and close friends or family to ensure you're considering everyone's feelings.

Take a Break After Announcing:

Once you've made your announcement, consider taking a few days' break from social media to avoid getting overwhelmed by comments and unsolicited advice.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to scheduling your social media posts. Choose the tools and strategies that align with your preferences and comfort level.

Go offline after you announce

There's no one "right" time to announce your engagement, but if you want to avoid drama, there are some things to consider. Firstly, it's important to tell your closest friends and family members before telling the entire world. This can be done by gathering them all together and sharing the news, or by telling them individually, one after the other, on the same day.

If you have loved ones who are also engaged or getting married soon, it's considerate to wait at least a month before or after their wedding to announce your engagement. It's also important to avoid making your announcement at their wedding-related events, such as their wedding shower, bachelorette party, or engagement party.

Once you've made your announcement, you might want to spend a few days offline to avoid getting pulled into a spiral of comments and suggestions about your wedding. Going offline after announcing your engagement can help you avoid the potential drama that comes with sharing the news online.

• Schedule a social media break: Take a few days off from social media to avoid the constant stream of comments and suggestions about your wedding. This will help you enjoy the moment and give you time to rest and relax before diving into wedding planning.
• Connect with close friends and family in real life: Instead of spending time on social media, focus on connecting with your nearest and dearest friends and family members in person or over the phone. They are likely to be your biggest supporters and will be happy to celebrate with you.
• Be mindful of oversharing: While it's exciting to share your news, be mindful of who you share it with. Not everyone needs to know the intimate details of your engagement or wedding plans. Keep some things private and only share with your closest circle.
• Set boundaries: If you do decide to stay online, set boundaries to manage your time and energy. You might want to limit checking social media to certain times of the day or set a timer to avoid getting sucked into endless scrolling and reading comments.
• Mute or block negative influences: If there are certain people who you know will cause drama or send rude messages, consider muting or blocking them on social media. You can also hide your engagement status from specific people on some platforms.
• Focus on your partner: Ultimately, your engagement is about you and your partner. Spend time celebrating with each other and daydreaming about your future together. Go on dates, take a trip, or simply enjoy quiet moments at home.

Remember, the most important thing is to savour this special time and avoid unnecessary stress. By going offline, you can create a more peaceful and intimate space to celebrate your engagement on your own terms.

Decide the order of who you'll tell

There is no precise timeline for when to announce your engagement, and you can do it whenever feels right for you and your partner. However, there is some advice on who to tell first and the appropriate ways to share your news.

Parents and Children

Your parents or parent figures should be among the first to know about your engagement, especially if they have a good relationship with you and your partner. If you have children, they should also be at the top of your list and may even take priority over your parents.

Siblings and Close Friends

Your siblings, especially those with whom you have a close relationship, should be informed early on. Likewise, your closest friends should be among the first to know, even if they already knew about the proposal.

Extended Family

When informing your extended family, consider your relationships with them. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews may appreciate a phone call or an in-person visit to share the news.

Social Media

While it is tempting to share your news on social media right away, it is important to inform your closest friends and family members first, to prevent them from finding out online. You can schedule your social media posts and make them unique and personal by sharing the story of how the proposal happened.

Other Considerations

If you have loved ones who are also engaged or getting married soon, it is advisable to wait at least a month before or after their wedding to announce your engagement. This will ensure that your special moment stands out and doesn't overlap with their wedding celebrations.

Frequently asked questions