A Wedding Reimagined: Our Second Chance At The Perfect Day

There are many reasons why people may want to redo their wedding. Some people may feel that they rushed into getting married and want to celebrate with a bigger wedding later on. Others may have had a negative experience on their wedding day due to unforeseen circumstances, family drama, or poor planning. Some may even regret marrying their spouse! Common things people would change include the guest list, venue, food, decorations, and their choice of groom or bride.

Choosing a different venue

Choosing a venue for your wedding can be a daunting task, but it is also an exciting opportunity to express your style and set the tone for your special day. Here are some tips to help you select a different venue for your wedding redo:

Start with a Budget

Before you begin your search, it is crucial to have a budget in mind. The cost of the venue will likely be one of the largest expenses, so determining how much you are willing to spend will help narrow down your options. Be sure to consider not only the rental fee but also any additional costs such as catering, decorations, and transportation. Creating a spreadsheet to track expenses can be helpful.

Know Your Guest List

The number of guests you plan to invite will significantly impact your venue choices. You don't want to end up with a venue that is too small or too large for your guest list. It is important to have a clear understanding of the expected number of guests before finalising your venue selection.

Choose a Venue that Aligns with Your Vision

Consider the style and theme of your wedding. Are you envisioning a modern wedding or something more natural and outdoors? Opt for venues that fit the aesthetic you have in mind. If you're planning a modern wedding, explore art galleries, well-designed restaurants, or warehouse spaces. For a more natural feel, consider outdoor venues such as parks, backyards, or ranches.

Consider Your Guests' Experience

Think about the comfort and convenience of your guests when choosing a venue. If you're inviting a lot of out-of-town guests, look for a venue that is located near hotels or accommodation options. Also, consider the maximum capacity of the venue and ensure it allows for comfortable movement and doesn't feel too cramped.

Understand the Inclusions

Different venues will offer varying levels of services and inclusions. Some venues provide tables, chairs, linens, and audio-visual equipment, while others require you to bring in your own vendors and decorations. Be sure to price out all the options and consider the convenience of having certain items included versus the cost of renting them separately.

Timing and Availability

The time of year and your desired wedding date will also play a role in venue selection. Some venues may have seasonal restrictions, especially outdoor venues. Additionally, popular venues tend to get booked up quickly, so it is advisable to start your search early, around 12 to 18 months in advance.

Remember, the venue sets the stage for your wedding, so take your time to consider all the options and choose a location that truly reflects your vision and creates a memorable experience for you and your guests.

Hiring a professional photographer

Redoing your wedding can be a chance to create new memories and finally have the wedding of your dreams. One of the most important aspects of your special day is the photographer. Here are some tips to help you hire a professional photographer for your wedding redo:

• Personality: Look for a photographer whose personality you connect with and who puts you at ease. This is someone you will be spending a lot of time with, both before and on your wedding day. It's important that you feel comfortable and enjoy their company. Ask yourself: Can I have a glass of wine with them? Can I text them with quick questions or for advice?
• Style: Choose a photographer whose style you absolutely love and aligns with your vision. Do you find yourself wishing their photos were from your wedding? Do you keep tapping on their Instagram posts because they're just so good? If so, you've found your photographer! Also, be sure to ask to see a full wedding gallery, not just the highlights. This will give you a more accurate idea of their work.
• Leadership: Your photographer should be able to take charge and organise people for photos without being too bossy. They should be able to give polite but assertive directions to everyone, from your 90-year-old grandpa to your drunk groomsmen.
• Experience: While everyone has to start somewhere, your wedding is not the time to experiment. Look for a photographer with enough experience to make you feel confident in their abilities. Ask to see their portfolio and inquire about their experience shooting weddings similar to yours in terms of lighting, venue, and style.
• Packages: Understand what your photographer offers and what is included in their packages. Do they provide digital files, prints, albums, or a combination? Are engagement shoots included? Make sure you know what you're getting and that it aligns with your expectations.
• Price: Wedding photography is an investment, and prices can vary widely. Ask for a price list and be sure to discuss what's included and what you can expect. Don't forget to factor in the time and expertise that goes into editing and delivering your photos.
• Meet in Person: An in-person meeting is invaluable. It helps you determine if you and your partner hit it off with the photographer and if your vibes match. It's also a great opportunity to ask questions and get a sense of their work ethic and experience.
• References: Ask for references from past couples and reach out to them. They can give you honest feedback about the photographer's strengths and weaknesses, helping you make an informed decision.
• Engagement Shoot: Consider scheduling an engagement photoshoot with your chosen photographer. This will give you a chance to get comfortable with them and their style before the wedding. It's also a great way to test their skills and see how they capture your connection.
• Contract and Delivery: Be sure to discuss the contract, including your rights to the photos and the photographer's publication rights. Also, ask about the expected delivery timeline for a sneak peek, prints, and your full album.

Remember, your wedding photos will be cherished memories for years to come, so take your time in selecting the right photographer for your special day.

Changing the guest list

Start with a Master List

Begin by writing down the names of everyone you would invite to your wedding if there were no limitations. This list should include immediate family, close friends, extended family, colleagues, distant relatives, and anyone else you'd consider inviting.

Separate Out Your Top-Tier Guests

From your master list, highlight the non-negotiables—those who you couldn't imagine getting married without. This might include your parents, siblings, grandparents, and best friends.

Work Out a Realistic Number of Guests

Before finalising your guest list, it's important to have an idea of your wedding venue and budget. The size of your venue and your budget will dictate how many people you can invite. If you're having an intimate ceremony or a destination wedding, you might only be able to accommodate your top-tier guests. It's a good idea to mention this to others early on, so their expectations don't get out of hand.

Consider Your Parents' Input

Traditionally, both sets of parents have a say in the guest list, especially if they're contributing financially. Loop them into the conversation early, and show them your plan. You can reserve a portion of the guest list for them to allocate, with a set number of seats that works within your venue and budget constraints.

Be Fair with Family

Try to treat members of different families equally. For example, if you invite four cousins from one side of the family, the fifth cousin from the other side might feel left out. Similarly, if your partner's great-grandmother is invited, yours might feel hurt if she's not included.

Be Selective with Plus Ones

You don't have to give plus ones to everyone. You can set a clear rule, such as only inviting partners of those in long-term relationships or those you've met before. This can help to reduce the number of guests, especially if you have a large circle of friends.

Don't Feel Obliged to Invite Everyone

• Distant relatives: If you haven't spoken to some relatives in years, don't feel pressured to invite them. Your wedding is a celebration for you, your partner, and your immediate family, not a family reunion.
• Friends you haven't heard from in years: Your wedding is a busy event, and it's unlikely you'll have time to rekindle old friendships.
• Colleagues: Just because you work with someone or occasionally eat lunch with them doesn't mean they need to be invited, especially if you're keeping your wedding small.
• People who invited you to their wedding: If you attended a friend's wedding years ago but the friendship has since faded, you don't have to reciprocate the invitation.
• Neighbours: Unless you're super friendly with your neighbours, you're not obliged to invite them, even if you feel it might get awkward. Simply explain that you're having an intimate celebration.
• Friends with a track record: If you have a friend who is infamous for being an unruly guest, consider whether you want them there. If they're non-negotiable, set some pre-wedding ground rules or arrange for extra security.
• Children of family and friends: You can minimise your guest list by making your wedding adults-only. While some parents may be disappointed, others might welcome a kid-free night to let their hair down.

Remember, your wedding day is about you and your partner. Choose your guests wisely and only invite those who are truly special to you.

Changing the bridal party

• Size of the Bridal Party: Think about whether you want a larger or smaller bridal party this time. Having a smaller bridal party can make things more intimate and manageable, while a larger bridal party can bring more people into the celebration. Consider your relationships and who you want standing by your side on your special day.
• Selection of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen: Choose your bridesmaids and groomsmen based on your current relationships and who you envision being part of your special day. It's okay to have a mix of old and new friends or family members in your bridal party. Go with your gut and select people who you feel comfortable with and who will support you leading up to and on the day of your wedding.
• Involvement of the Bridal Party: Discuss with your bridal party how involved they would like to be in the planning process and on the wedding day itself. Some people may prefer a more hands-off approach, while others may want to be more actively involved. Communicate your expectations clearly and be open to their ideas and suggestions.
• Attire for the Bridal Party: Have fun selecting attire for your bridal party! Consider the theme and colour scheme of your wedding and how you want your bridal party to complement your vision. Be mindful of your bridal party's comfort and preferences, and try to accommodate any reasonable requests or adjustments.
• Pre-Wedding Events: Plan some fun pre-wedding events or activities with your bridal party to strengthen your bond and create lasting memories. This could include a bridal shower, bachelorette or bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, or even a simple get-together to relax and connect before the big day.
• Day-Of Coordination: On the day of the wedding, ensure that your bridal party knows their roles and responsibilities. Assign specific tasks if needed and provide them with a timeline or schedule for the day. This will help ensure that everything runs smoothly, and your bridal party feels included and valued.
• Gratitude and Appreciation: Don't forget to show your gratitude and appreciation to your bridal party for their support and participation. This can be done through gifts, heartfelt notes, or even a special moment during the wedding reception. Let them know how much their presence and contribution mean to you.

Remember, your bridal party is there to support and celebrate with you, so choose a group of people who you feel comfortable with and who will enhance your wedding day experience. Be open to their ideas and feedback, and don't be afraid to make changes to create the wedding of your dreams.

Changing the theme

• Choose a theme that reflects your interests and personalities: Select a theme that you and your partner are passionate about, such as a gothic theme, a royal theme, or even a specific colour scheme. This is your day, so make it unique to you!
• Venue and attire: Opt for a venue that complements your theme. For example, a castle would be a perfect setting for a royal or gothic wedding. Consider custom-made attire or unique touches to your wedding dress and suit that align with your chosen theme.
• Decorations and details: Transform your venue with decorations that bring your theme to life. This could include table settings, centrepieces, flowers, backdrops, and lighting. Pay attention to the small details, such as invitations, favours, and signage, to ensure they align with your new theme.
• Entertainment and food: Enhance your guests' experience with themed entertainment, such as music, performances, or activities. You can also incorporate your theme into the food and drinks, offering a unique menu or creative cocktails.
• Photography: Discuss your new theme with your photographer so they can help capture the essence of your special day. They may have suggestions for creative backdrops, props, or poses that tie into your theme.

Remember, the key is to make your redo wedding authentic to you and your partner. Don't be afraid to think outside the box and have fun with it!

Frequently asked questions