A Wedding With A Flower Boy: Breaking Stereotypes

The role of a flower boy in a wedding is becoming more common, with many couples choosing to eschew traditional gender roles and opt for a more inclusive approach to their wedding party. A flower boy typically has the same duties as a flower girl, including tossing petals down the aisle before the bride and paving the way for the soon-to-be-wed couple. While some people may view this role as unconventional, many modern couples are embracing the idea of having boys or even men take on the role of flower boy. Ultimately, the decision to include a flower boy in a wedding comes down to personal preference and what will add value to the couple's big day.

The role of a flower boy

The flower boy adds a cute factor to the wedding and is a way to involve a young family member in the ceremony. The role is a great way to add a modern twist to the wedding, making it more inclusive and personal. The flower boy can be dressed in a mini tuxedo, a suit and tie, or a button-down shirt and nice pants, depending on the dress code of the wedding.

If the flower boy is too young to walk down the aisle alone, he can be seated in a wagon decorated with flowers and pushed by a parent. Alternatively, the flower boy can hand out whole flowers to guests at the start of the ceremony or accompany the ring bearer in the procession.

Choosing the right flower boy

A flower boy is a child in the wedding party whose main duty is to toss flower petals down the aisle before the bride. This role is a great way to include boys in your wedding and is becoming more common as wedding culture evolves and becomes more inclusive.

If you're thinking of having a flower boy at your wedding, here are some tips for choosing the right candidate:

Age

The best age for a flower boy is between two and eight years old. Anyone older than eight could be considered a junior wedding party member, and children younger than two might struggle with the long day and big task.

Personality

Consider the child's interest level and temperament. If the boy is enthusiastic and outgoing, he will probably enjoy being a flower boy. If he is timid or shy, the role might put him in an uncomfortable situation.

Communication

Clearly communicate the expectations for the role to the child and their parents. Share a detailed summary of the duties, logistics, and important details like smiling, eye contact, and pace. It's also a good idea to schedule a practice run with your flower boy before the wedding day.

Seating Arrangement

Flower boys often sit with their parents in the front row or stand with the wedding party if their parent is a member. If the child is young and likely to make noise, consider seating them closer to the exit. Share the seating chart with the parents about a week before the wedding so they can get accustomed to the layout.

Proposal

Before proposing to the flower boy, talk to their parents and get their permission. Then, propose to the child about a month or two before the wedding with a handwritten card and a meaningful gift that's catered to their interests.

Attire

The flower boy's attire should match the dress code, venue, season, and wedding party. For a black-tie event, a mini tuxedo or a suit and tie are appropriate. For casual affairs, a button-down shirt and nice pants like corduroys or khakis with suspenders or a tie are suitable. Consider the venue surface and choose sturdy footwear if it's on rough terrain like sand, grass, or gravel. For warmer seasons or climates, choose lightweight fabrics like linen, and for colder weather, opt for thicker materials like velvet.

Flower boy attire

The role of a flower boy is to toss flower petals down the aisle before the bride, paving the way for the soon-to-be-wed couple and signifying "beauty, love, and the journey ahead".

When it comes to flower boy attire, it is best to match the flower boys with the rest of the wedding party. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing navy suits, consider dressing the flower boy in a similar outfit. For a black-tie event, a mini tuxedo or a suit and tie are appropriate. For more casual weddings, flower boys can wear button-down shirts and nice pants, such as corduroys or khakis, with suspenders or a tie. If the wedding is taking place on rough terrain, such as sand, grass, or gravel, a sturdy pair of shoes is recommended to prevent tripping.

The type of fabric chosen for the flower boy's outfit should also take into account the season and climate of the wedding. In warmer seasons or climates, lightweight fabrics like linen will keep the flower boy comfortable. For colder-weather celebrations, thicker materials such as velvet will provide more warmth.

• Navy suit
• Mini tuxedo
• Suspenders with a bow tie
• Button-down shirt with corduroy or khaki pants
• Linen suit for warmer weather
• Velvet suit for colder weather

Flower boy duties

Including a flower boy in your wedding is a great way to add a modern twist to your ceremony. A flower boy is a child in the wedding party whose main duty is to toss flower petals down the aisle before the bride, paving the way for the soon-to-be-wed couple and signifying "beauty, love, and the journey ahead".

Selecting the Right Candidate:

• Pay attention to their age: The best age for a flower boy is between two and eight years old. Anyone over eight could be considered a junior wedding party member, and children under two may struggle with the task and the long day.
• Consider their personality: Gauge the child's interest level and temperament. If the boy is enthusiastic and outgoing, he will likely thrive as a flower boy. If he is timid or shy, the role might put him in an uncomfortable situation.

Communicating Expectations:

• Clearly communicate expectations to the flower boy and his parents: Share a detailed summary of the duties, logistics, and expectations, such as smiling, eye contact, and pace.
• Schedule a practice run: Organize a rehearsal with the flower boy ahead of time and ask his parents to rehearse with him several times before the wedding.

Seating Arrangements:

• Flower boys often sit with their parents in the front row or stand with the wedding party if their parent is a member.
• If the child is young and likely to make noise, consider seating them closer to the exit.
• Share the seating chart with the parents about a week in advance so they can get accustomed to the layout.

Attire:

• Dress code: For a black-tie event, a mini tuxedo or a suit and tie are appropriate. For more casual affairs, consider button-down shirts, nice pants like corduroys or khakis, and suspenders or a tie.
• Venue and season: Consider the venue and season when choosing the flower boy's outfit. For example, sturdy footwear is recommended for rough terrain, and lightweight fabric is best for warmer seasons or climates.
• Match the wedding party: For a cohesive look, match the flower boy's outfit with the rest of the wedding party.

Alternative Ideas:

• Distribute whole flowers: Instead of tossing petals, the flower boy can hand out whole flowers to guests at the start of the ceremony or pass out boutonnieres or corsages for friends and family to wear.
• Accompany the ring bearer: Combine the roles of the flower boy and ring bearer into one adorable procession.
• Use a wagon: If the flower boy is too young to walk down the aisle alone, decorate a wagon with flowers and have one of his parents push him down the aisle.

Remember, the most important thing is to ensure that the flower boy and his parents are comfortable with the role and that it adds value to your wedding day, reflecting your values, style, and relationships.

Making the proposal to the flower boy

If you're planning to include a flower boy in your wedding, you might be wondering how to propose to him. Here are some tips and suggestions to make your proposal to the flower boy memorable and special:

Talk to the Parents First

It is important to get the parents' permission before proposing to the flower boy. Contact the parents through a call, email, or text to request their blessing. It is also considerate to give them ample notice so they can plan accordingly.

Organize a Thoughtful Proposal

Once you have the parents' consent, it's time to propose to the flower boy. Plan to do this about a month or two before the big day. Make it special by writing a handwritten card expressing your thoughts and feelings. Include a meaningful gift that caters to his interests to show how much you value him. Even if younger boys may not fully grasp the role, a present will make them feel important and delighted.

Understand the Role and Responsibilities

Be sure to explain the role of the flower boy and what will be expected of him on the day. This will help him feel more involved and excited about the task. The flower boy's main duty is to toss flower petals down the aisle before the bride, paving the way and adding a touch of beauty, love, and joy to the ceremony.

Choose the Right Age and Consider Personality

When selecting a flower boy, consider his age and personality. The recommended age range for a flower boy is between two and eight years old. Outside this range, they may be considered a junior wedding party member or too young to handle the task and long day. Also, gauge the child's interest and temperament. If he is outgoing and enthusiastic, he will likely thrive as a flower boy. If he is shy or timid, the role may cause discomfort.

Communicate Expectations Clearly

One common mistake couples make is assuming everyone understands the flower boy's role. Be sure to provide a detailed summary of the duties to the child and his parents well in advance. Cover the logistics, and set expectations for details such as smiling, eye contact, and pace. Practicing ahead of time will help ensure the flower boy feels confident and comfortable on the big day.

Select Appropriate Attire

The flower boy's attire should align with the dress code of the wedding. For a black-tie event, a mini tuxedo or suit and tie are appropriate. More casual affairs call for button-down shirts and nice pants like corduroys or khakis, perhaps with suspenders or a tie. Don't forget to consider the venue and season when choosing fabrics—lighter fabrics for warmer seasons and thicker fabrics for colder seasons. Matching the flower boy's outfit with the rest of the wedding party creates a cohesive look.

By following these suggestions, you can make your proposal to the flower boy thoughtful and memorable, ensuring he feels valued and excited to be a part of your special day.

Frequently asked questions