Wedding Planning: Navigating The Decision-Making Process

Planning a wedding can be a stressful and costly affair. There are many factors to consider, such as budget, guest list, location, and type of ceremony. Some couples may opt for a traditional wedding with a large guest list, while others may prefer an intimate elopement or a casual backyard affair. Deciding on the type of wedding you want can be challenging, especially if you're unsure about the level of formality, cost, and planning involved. It's important to discuss your vision, priorities, and budget with your partner to make an informed decision.

Weigh up the pros and cons of a big wedding vs eloping

There are many pros and cons to consider when deciding between a big wedding and eloping. Here is a list of advantages and disadvantages for each option to help you weigh up your decision:

Big Wedding

Pros

• Biggest party of your life
• Celebrate with your whole family
• Create a unique experience for your guests
• Fulfil a childhood or societal dream
• You're the centre of the whole day
• More support on the day
• Share this experience with your community

Cons

• Lose sight of what the day is really about
• Input/opinions from others
• Pressure for perfection
• More planning and logistics
• Adhere to traditions you may not care about
• Higher costs
• Less flexibility
• More stressful

Eloping

Pros

• More intimate and personal
• Cheaper than a big wedding
• Can be a more unique experience
• Less stressful
• More authentic to you as a couple
• More location options
• More time to spend with your partner

Cons

• Parents or other relatives may not approve
• Friends and family may feel left out
• Less in-person support
• May feel like a "less than" experience
• Less guidance on what to do
• You might not have any wedding gifts

Ultimately, the decision to have a big wedding or elope is a personal one and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Consider your budget, the level of stress you are willing to take on, and what type of experience you want to create.

Consider the financial costs of a wedding

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but it's important to keep financial concerns in mind so they don't overshadow your big day. The first step in wedding planning is setting a budget and deciding how much money you have to spend. The average cost of a wedding in the United States was $30,119 in 2023, but this figure can vary greatly depending on the number of guests and location.

When creating a wedding budget, it's essential to allocate funds correctly and keep track of your spending. Consider using a budget spreadsheet or tool to stay organized. The biggest chunk of your budget will likely go towards the venue, which includes the cost of renting the space as well as any in-house catering, décor, and floral design. Catering is another significant expense, especially if you choose to include alcohol.

Other important costs to consider include entertainment, such as a live band or DJ, photography and videography, wedding attire, event rentals (tables, chairs, dishes, etc.), lighting and décor, and transportation. Don't forget to budget for smaller expenses like invitations, wedding cake or dessert, gifts and favors, and hair and makeup.

To save money, consider choosing an off-peak date for your wedding, such as during the winter months or on a weekday. You can also opt for a small, intimate ceremony and dinner instead of a large reception to reduce costs. Ultimately, the decision of how much to spend on your wedding depends on your financial situation and priorities as a couple.

Think about the emotional costs of a wedding

Planning a wedding can be a stressful experience, and it's not uncommon for people to develop deep anxiety and even feelings of depression during the process. The pressure of planning a wedding has made some people question whether they want to have one in the first place.

The extravagance of weddings has increased in recent years, with even "small" weddings costing close to $100,000. This has led to many people feeling pressured to keep up with the latest trends and social media expectations, which can be financially draining and emotionally exhausting.

Some people may feel forced to live outside their means to have a "perfect" wedding, which can lead to financial turmoil and stress. It's important to be realistic about what you can afford and to set a budget that aligns with your financial capabilities.

Additionally, the focus on creating Instagram-worthy moments and displaying wealth can shift the attention away from the spiritual union and the joining of families, which are the true meanings of a wedding.

To avoid the emotional costs of wedding planning, it's crucial to stay true to yourself and your values. Ask yourself what feels authentic to you and your partner as a couple, and choose a space and design that represent who you are.

It's also important to remember that a wedding is about celebrating your relationship and creating memories with your loved ones. Focus on the things that will have lasting emotional power, such as great photos, videos, and spending time with your loved ones.

Finally, it's okay to say no to certain traditions or expectations if they don't align with your values or budget. You can create a wedding that is unique to you and your partner, and it's essential to stay true to yourselves throughout the planning process.

Brainstorm wedding venue ideas

Brainstorming wedding venue ideas can be a daunting task, but it's an important step in turning your dream wedding into a reality. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Define Your Vision and Theme

Start by defining the vision and theme for your wedding. Do you want a modern wedding with a sleek and elegant feel, or are you leaning towards a more natural and rustic style? Perhaps you're drawn to the charm of a vintage-inspired celebration. Defining your theme will help you narrow down venue options that align with your style.

Consider Your Guest List

Knowing your expected guest count is crucial before visiting venues. The space should comfortably accommodate your guest list with room for activities and comfort. It's also essential to have a clear budget in mind, as the cost of renting a venue and catering can vary depending on the number of guests.

Research and Compare Venues

• Barns and Ballrooms: If you're envisioning a rustic-chic celebration, a beautifully restored barn could be the perfect setting. Alternatively, elegant ballrooms offer a sophisticated ambiance for a glamorous wedding.
• Cozy Restaurants: For an intimate gathering, consider a cozy restaurant with a private dining room. This option often includes catering services, making it a convenient choice.
• Outdoor Venues: Imagine exchanging vows surrounded by nature. Parks, backyards, and ranches provide a stunning backdrop for your special day, especially if you're incorporating natural elements into your theme.
• Beach Weddings: For a dreamy beach wedding, look for venues along the coastline that offer breathtaking views of the sea.

Think About Your Guests' Experience

If you're expecting many out-of-town guests, consider venues near hotels or with on-site accommodation to make their travel experience more convenient. Also, ensure the venue is comfortable for your guests, with ample space to move around and enjoy the festivities.

In-House Services vs. External Vendors

When evaluating venues, consider whether they offer in-house services like catering, tables, chairs, and linens. While these venues may have higher upfront costs, they can save you time and money on renting external vendors. However, if you have specific themes or designs in mind, bringing in your own vendors may provide more flexibility.

Stay True to Yourselves

It's easy to get carried away with trends and Pinterest-worthy weddings. Remember to choose a venue and design that authentically represent you as a couple. Your wedding should reflect your unique personalities and what matters most to you, creating a memorable experience for you and your guests.

Happy planning, and may your special day be everything you've dreamed of!

Discuss the type of ceremony you want

When discussing the type of ceremony you want, it's important to consider your vision, values, and priorities as a couple. Here are some key points to think about:

• Sacred vs Secular: Do you want a religious or spiritual ceremony? If so, you may want to get married in a house of worship, such as a church, temple, or mosque. Keep in mind that some religious venues may have specific requirements, such as pre-wedding courses or restrictions on who can attend. If you're not religious, you might prefer a secular ceremony, which can be held in a variety of venues, from outdoor spaces to indoor venues like city halls or restaurants.
• Traditional vs Personal: Consider whether you want a traditional ceremony or something more unique and personalised. A traditional ceremony often follows a set structure and may include religious elements, while a personalised ceremony can be tailored to reflect your individual beliefs, values, and cultural background.
• Indoor vs Outdoor: Deciding between an indoor or outdoor ceremony can help narrow down your venue options. Outdoor ceremonies can be held in natural settings like parks, backyards, or beaches, while indoor ceremonies offer more protection from the elements and can include venues such as ballrooms, restaurants, or even your own backyard.
• Size of the Wedding: The number of guests you plan to invite will impact the type of ceremony and venue you choose. Smaller, intimate weddings may suit unique venues or destinations, while larger weddings may require a more spacious location, such as a barn or ballroom.
• Emotional Comfort: If you or your partner are shy or uncomfortable with public displays of emotion, a large, traditional wedding may not be the best fit. Consider whether you'd prefer a smaller, more private ceremony or an alternative celebration where you can exchange vows separately and then celebrate with guests.
• Budget: Weddings can be expensive, so it's essential to discuss your financial priorities and comfort level with spending. If you prefer to allocate your budget towards travel, a house down payment, or other priorities, a more intimate or casual wedding might be a better option.
• Planning and Organisation: Planning a wedding requires a significant amount of organisation and logistical coordination. If this doesn't appeal to you, consider a less formal affair, hiring a wedding planner, or giving yourself a longer engagement to plan at a relaxed pace.
• Timing and Location: Think about the time of year and location that suits your vision. For example, do you dream of a summer wedding with a sunset ceremony, or would you prefer a winter celebration with a snowy backdrop? Also, consider the convenience for your guests, especially if they need to travel.
• Involving Family: Discuss how important it is to involve your families in the ceremony. If family participation is a priority, you may want to choose a venue that is convenient for them and consider any cultural or religious traditions they may expect to be included.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to weddings. The key is to decide what matters most to you as a couple and plan a ceremony that reflects your unique personalities and values.

Frequently asked questions