The Paradox Of Wedding Excitement And Marriage Apprehension

The idea of a wedding without a marriage is a topic that has sparked debate, with some arguing that a couple cannot be considered married without a legal certificate. However, others suggest that a wedding is simply a celebration of a couple's commitment, which can be made official through a variety of ways, including common-law marriage, elopement, or a simple civil ceremony. In some states, a couple can be considered legally married if they express a present intent to be married and hold themselves out as spouses, even without a wedding or ceremony. Ultimately, the decision to have a wedding without a legal marriage certificate depends on the couple's personal beliefs and preferences, and there are ways to have a commitment ceremony without the legal aspects of marriage.

Commitment ceremonies

A commitment ceremony is a way for a couple to publicly express their commitment to one another without the legal rights or responsibilities of a civil or religious marriage. Commitment ceremonies are not legally binding, and the couple's marital status will not change.

A commitment ceremony can take place anywhere, as it does not need to be held in a licensed venue. It can be designed to reflect the couple's values and beliefs, and can include vows, readings, music, and the exchange of rings. The couple will likely sign a commitment certificate, but this is not a legal document.

However, for some, a commitment ceremony is a way to celebrate their relationship without the stress and red tape of a legal ceremony.

Common-law marriages

In Canada, for example, while some provinces may grant couples in marriage-like relationships many of the rights and responsibilities of a marriage, they are not legally considered married. They may be defined as "unmarried spouses" and treated the same as married spouses for tax and financial purposes.

In the US, common-law marriages are still recognised in Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Rhode Island, Texas, Utah, Oklahoma, and the District of Columbia. Once a couple meets the requirements for a common-law marriage in these places, they are considered legally married for all purposes and in all circumstances.

In the UK, a 2008 poll showed that 51% of respondents incorrectly believed that cohabitants had the same rights as married couples. While common-law marriage does not exist in Scotland, there was a form of irregular marriage called 'marriage by cohabitation with habit and repute' which applied to couples in special circumstances until 2006.

In medieval Europe, marriage was under the jurisdiction of canon law, which recognised as valid a marriage in which the parties stated they took each other as husband and wife, even in the absence of any witnesses. In ancient Greece and Rome, marriages were private agreements between individuals and estates, and community recognition largely qualified what was considered a marriage.

While the specifics vary by location, common-law marriages generally refer to marriages that are considered valid by the partners and the community, without the need for legal or religious recognition.

Statutory marriages

To enter into a statutory marriage, the couple must file a marriage notice at the Registry. The registrar or celebrant must be satisfied that the couple has sworn by affidavit that they meet the following requirements:

• One partner must have been a resident within the district where the marriage is intended to be celebrated for at least 15 days preceding the granting of the certificate.
• The couple must have paid the prescribed fee.
• The notice of marriage must be posted on the noticeboard at the Registry for 21 days and entered into the Marriage Notice Book. During this time, anyone can report a reason why the marriage should not take place.
• Both partners must be at least 21 years old. If either is under that age, they must obtain written consent from their parents.
• There must be no impediment of kindred or affinity, or any other lawful hindrance to the marriage.
• Both partners must be unmarried by customary law to any person other than themselves.

The marriage can then be celebrated in the following forms as recognised by the Marriage Act:

• By the Registrar in the Marriage Registry.
• By a minister of a religious denomination in a licensed place of worship.
• By special license under the hand of the Minister of Internal Affairs.
• By celebration abroad in a Nigerian Diplomatic Mission.

In addition to statutory marriages, common-law marriages are also recognised in several US states and some other countries. A common-law marriage is a legally recognised marriage between two people who have not purchased a marriage license or participated in a ceremony officiated by a religious or state official. To be considered married by common law, couples may need to meet certain requirements, such as living together for a certain period and introducing themselves as a married couple to friends, neighbours, and coworkers. Common-law marriages are typically afforded many of the same financial benefits as traditional marriages, including Social Security and tax benefits.

Civil ceremonies

A civil ceremony is a non-religious, legal marriage ceremony. It is presided over by a legal official, such as a government representative, rather than a religious figure. Civil ceremonies are recognised in all 50 US states, but may not be recognised by religious communities unless followed by a religious ceremony.

If you are considering a civil ceremony, you will need to find an officiant, decide on a guest list (bearing in mind there may be limits on numbers), and check the rules and requirements of your state or county. You will also need to obtain a marriage license, which may require an appointment and a waiting period.

Elopements

There are many companies that offer elopement packages, which include a professional officiant, professional photography, and ceremony coordination. Packages can be customised to include other services such as hair and makeup, flowers, and music.

Frequently asked questions