Planning A Wedding: A Depressing Affair?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, time-consuming, and expensive. It can trigger disagreements among friends, family, or couples. It can also be difficult for couples to make time for themselves before and during the wedding. Not making time for self-care or adequate rest can increase the chance of experiencing depression.

The stress of planning a wedding can cause feelings of depression. In fact, nearly half of 28 newly married women interviewed said they felt let down or depressed after their wedding. In another study, almost 12% of 152 women reported an increase in depressive symptoms after the wedding.

The causes of post-wedding depression can include the end of a major life event, the adjustment to married life, and the loss of independence. Additionally, reality may not live up to expectations, and sex may be affected due to feelings of being trapped.

It is important to recognize the signs of post-wedding depression, which can include a low mood, sadness, a lack of excitement, boredom, apathy, and tetchiness with your partner. If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, it is important to seek medical support from a doctor or therapist.

Pre-existing mental health issues

Planning a wedding can be stressful, time-consuming, and expensive. This process may trigger disagreements among friends, family, or couples. It can also be difficult for couples to make time for themselves before and during the wedding. Not making time for self-care or adequate rest can increase the chance of experiencing depression.

If you have pre-existing mental health issues, wedding planning can be even more challenging. It is important to acknowledge your feelings and seek support if needed. Here are some tips to help you manage pre-existing mental health issues while planning your wedding:

• Talk to someone you trust: Share your struggles with a trusted person, such as your partner, a close friend, or a licensed therapist. It can be a relief to know that you don't have to hide your feelings and can get support during difficult times.
• Take advantage of good times: Recognize that there will be ups and downs during the planning process. On good days, focus on accomplishing as much as possible, and on bad days, prioritize self-care and managing your mental health.
• Delegate tasks: Don't be afraid to ask for help. Friends and family often want to lend a hand, so let them! Delegate tasks that you don't enjoy or find stressful, such as cake baking, vow writing, or catering.
• Focus on what makes you happy: Identify the aspects of wedding planning that bring you joy and focus your energy there. Whether it's dreaming about flowers, creating the perfect menu, or something else, indulging in these happy moments can help keep depression at bay.
• Prioritize self-care: In the midst of wedding planning chaos, self-care often takes a back seat. However, it is crucial to make time for activities that nourish your mental health, such as getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, exercising, and spending time with supportive friends or family members.
• Seek professional help if needed: If you find yourself struggling to manage your mental health or experiencing symptoms of depression, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. They can provide guidance, support, and effective treatment options to help you through this challenging time.

Financial stress

Wedding planning can be an exciting time, but it can also be a source of significant financial stress for couples. With the average cost of a wedding being $28,000, it is understandable that spending such a large sum of money can cause worry and anxiety. Here are some ways in which financial stress can impact individuals during wedding planning:

Emotional and Physical Symptoms

Impact on Daily Life and Work

Strategies for Managing Financial Stress

To manage financial stress effectively, couples can implement several strategies. Firstly, open and honest communication about finances is essential. Couples should discuss their financial comfort levels, priorities, and how they plan to approach contributions from others. Setting a realistic budget and sticking to it is crucial, resisting the temptation to make upgrades that exceed their budget.

Additionally, seeking outside help from a financial planner or therapist can provide valuable guidance and support. It is also beneficial to improve self-care practices, such as mindfulness, yoga, meditation, or focused breathing, to manage stress levels. Couples should also consider their long-term financial goals, such as saving for a home or paying off student loans, and ensure they have a plan for paying off any debt incurred during the wedding planning process.

Impact on Relationships

Long-Term Financial Resilience

Finally, financial stress during wedding planning can have long-term implications for the couple's financial resilience. It is crucial to build financial resilience to protect against unexpected future expenses. This may involve establishing an emergency fund or creating a detailed financial plan that considers both short-term and long-term financial goals.

In conclusion, financial stress during wedding planning can have a significant impact on individuals' emotional and physical well-being, daily lives, and relationships. By recognising the signs of financial stress and implementing effective strategies to manage it, couples can reduce the negative impact on their overall well-being and enjoy a more positive and fulfilling wedding planning journey.

Lack of self-care

Planning a wedding can be a stressful and time-consuming process, and it's not uncommon for individuals to experience pre- or post-wedding depression. Engaged couples may find it challenging to make time for self-care and adequate rest, which can increase the risk of depression. Here are some ways to address the lack of self-care during wedding planning:

Recognize the Importance of Self-Care

Self-care is vital for physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It involves taking care of your basic needs, such as eating, sleeping, and grooming, as well as identifying your unique needs and taking steps to meet them. When planning a wedding, it's essential to prioritize self-care to maintain your overall health and well-being.

Start Small and Set Achievable Goals

During times of stress, such as wedding planning, it's important to set achievable self-care goals. Start by focusing on small tasks, such as getting out of bed, taking a shower, or sitting in a room with fresh air and sunlight. These small goals can lead to bigger ones, such as getting dressed or making a cup of coffee for yourself. Setting achievable goals can help you build momentum and improve your overall well-being.

Move from Inactive to Active

Wedding planning can be overwhelming, and it's easy to become inactive and numb. To improve your self-care, try to incorporate movement and activity into your daily routine. Start with small steps, such as getting dressed or making your own coffee, and gradually add bigger goals. This can help reduce the sense of inactivity and hollowed numbness that depression can bring.

Feed Your Senses

Engaging your senses can be a powerful tool for self-care. Try to incorporate activities that stimulate your senses, such as getting sunlight, listening to music, taking deep breaths of fresh air, hugging a loved one, or eating comfort foods. These sensory experiences can help soothe and boost your emotional and physical well-being.

Develop a Self-Care Routine

Once you've started to incorporate self-care practices, it's important to stick to a routine. Maintaining a consistent self-care routine can help prevent a relapse into depression. This might include setting aside time for catnaps, tea drinking, listening to music, or any other activities that nurture and support your well-being.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you're struggling with self-care and experiencing symptoms of depression, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counsellor can provide support and guidance to help you manage your symptoms and improve your self-care practices. They can also help you develop a personalized treatment plan to address your specific needs.

Post-wedding blues

It is perfectly normal to feel sad after your wedding. In fact, there is a phrase for it: the post-wedding blues. This feeling is very common, and nearly half of 28 newly married women interviewed said they felt let down or depressed after their wedding. In another study, almost 12% of 152 women reported an increase in depressive symptoms after the wedding.

Causes of Post-Wedding Blues

The post-wedding blues can be caused by a variety of factors. One reason could be the tremendous anticipation and excitement leading up to the wedding. After the big day, it is natural to feel a sense of letdown as you adjust to married life. This can be especially true if you had unrealistic expectations or fantasies about married life. Additionally, the stress of planning a wedding can take a toll, leaving you feeling relieved when it's over but also sad and empty.

For some, the post-wedding blues may be related to financial stress or family conflict that arose during the wedding planning process. Returning to everyday life and facing new challenges, such as adjusting to a new last name, a new home, or new in-laws, can also contribute to these feelings.

Symptoms of Post-Wedding Blues

Common feelings associated with post-wedding sadness include boredom, lethargy, loneliness, and isolation. You may also experience a sense of "what now?" as you navigate this major life transition.

Managing the Post-Wedding Blues

• Recognize the difference between your wedding and your marriage: Shift your focus from the wedding to your relationship and the next steps as a married couple. Start talking about your expectations for married life and how you can build a strong foundation together.
• Make plans for the future: Create new plans and activities to look forward to as a couple. This could include frequent date nights, a mini-moon or honeymoon, or other exciting experiences.
• Lean on your spouse for support: Healthy communication is crucial in a long-lasting marriage. Talk to your partner about how you're feeling and how they can best support you.
• Consider marital counselling: Don't be afraid to seek professional help. A marital counsellor can provide you with tools to improve your communication and problem-solving skills as a couple.
• Redefine your relationship with your family: If you're feeling sad about leaving your family, try to focus on the new family you're creating with your spouse. This is an opportunity to redefine your relationships and reflect on your status as an independent adult.
• Settle into your newlywed nest: Unbox and curate your wedding gifts, or make some upgrades to your living space. Settling into your new life together can help take your mind off the post-wedding blues.
• Reflect on your wedding day: Talk about your favourite moments, look at photos, and reminisce to keep the memories alive.
• Make everyday events exciting: Add special touches to mundane tasks, such as lighting candles during dinner or listening to a new playlist on your way to the grocery store.

Remember, it's normal to experience the post-wedding blues, but if your feelings persist or become overwhelming, don't hesitate to reach out for professional help.

Wedding planning anxiety

Planning a wedding can be stressful. It is a lot of pressure and could set off negative emotions. It is normal to feel depressed or anxious before your wedding. You might be overwhelmed with the amount of work it takes to plan such an important event.

Causes of Wedding Planning Anxiety

• Uncertainty about what married life will be like.
• The pressure of planning a wedding, especially if you have an anxiety disorder.
• Not wanting to be the centre of attention.
• Worrying about not meeting up to the expectations of your family.
• Worrying about having an anxiety attack on your wedding day.
• Feeling like things are out of your control.
• Pre-existing mental health issues.

Tips for Dealing with Wedding Planning Anxiety

• Accept that it's okay to hate wedding planning.
• Have a long engagement if you need to.
• Delegate tasks to friends and family.
• Stick within your budget.
• Ditch the Pinterest DIY.
• Practice mindfulness.
• Take time out with your partner.
• Go easy on yourself.
• Find an outlet for your anxiety, such as exercise or reading.

Frequently asked questions