Writing Personal Notes On Formal Wedding Rsvps: Is It Okay?

Wedding RSVPs are a chance for guests to give the happy couple a first taste of their theme. But what should you include in your response?

The first thing to do is to check the deadline. It's important to respond promptly, and definitely before the due date. You'll also want to check the card for a capital M. This is an old-fashioned way of asking for your title and full name, so make sure you include the full name of any plus-ones, too. You'll also need to state how many people are coming, and whether you have any dietary requirements.

Some couples will also ask for a short personal note, or even a fun question, like a song request or date idea. This is your chance to get creative and share your thoughts with the couple.

M means Mr, Mrs, Ms or Miss

When filling out a formal wedding RSVP, you may see a line that looks like this:

M _______________________________

The "M" is intended to be helpful, but it can be a little confusing. It is simply the beginning of the person's title—Mr., Miss, Mrs., or Ms.—which would then be followed by the person's name. For example, if the envelope is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew," then the response would include: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew".

If you are a married couple, tradition dictates that you lead with the husband's title and name: "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Andersen". If you'd like to throw tradition out of the window, simply fill out the RSVP in a way that makes you and your partner most comfortable.

For a same-sex couple, the formatting is the same: "Mr. and Mr. Jameson Fillmore". For an unmarried couple, the woman would use "Ms." or "Miss" as her title: "Mr. Henry Satre and Miss Marissa Porte".

If you are responding on behalf of yourself and a plus-one, write your name first, and then your guest's full name.

The title "Miss" is typically used for unmarried women or young girls, or when a woman's marital status is unknown or unimportant. "Ms." is a more general title that can be used for any woman, regardless of marital status. "Mrs." is used for married women.

Include your full name

Including your full name is a critical part of any wedding RSVP. This guarantees that the couple knows who is attending their wedding and ensures the correct spelling of each guest's name for the seating chart. Traditionally, the guest's name is preceded by an "M", which stands for the honorifics Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss. However, some couples are doing away with titles altogether, while others prefer to keep this formal element.

If you are responding on behalf of multiple people, such as a married couple or a family, it is important to list each person's full name clearly. For example, for a married couple, you would write "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Andersen". For an unmarried couple, the woman can use either \"Ms.\" or "Miss" as her title. For instance, "Mr. Henry Satre and Miss Marissa Porte".

If there are children attending, you may write their first names if there is room, or indicate the number of children in the space provided for the number of attendees. It is also important to note that if you are invited with a plus-one, you should include their full name as well.

Respond as soon as possible

Responding to a wedding invitation as soon as possible is considered good etiquette. Wedding hosts use the information from RSVPs to finalise their catering count, create a seating plan, and address guests on place cards, escort cards, or personalised favours.

It is best to respond within a few days of receiving the invitation. If you respond that you will be attending the wedding and later find out you won't be able to make it, call the couple as soon as possible to let them know.

If you miss the RSVP deadline, it is recommended to call the hosts as soon as you realise, so they have an accurate headcount. It is also advisable to send the RSVP note anyway, especially if the host has included a response card and postage. Many couples keep these notes as mementos.

If you are unable to attend, it is still considered good manners to respond to the RSVP with a definitive "No" and a gift from their registry. It is never okay to not respond at all.

• Use blue or black ink to write your response.
• Write legibly so that the host can read your writing.
• Include your full name and the names of any additional guests, such as a plus-one or children, if they are also invited.
• If there is a choice of entrees, indicate your preference and the initials of each guest next to their food choice.
• If you have any serious allergies or dietary restrictions, it is a good idea to call the host or caterer directly to discuss options.
• Send your RSVP card back as soon as possible, ideally before the requested due date.

Add a personal note

Adding a personal note to your formal wedding RSVP is a great way to inject your personality and style into your wedding stationery. Here are some tips and suggestions for including a personal note:

Wording and Tone

It's your special day, so feel free to make the wording quirky or funny if that suits your style. You can include a fun question or two on the RSVP card, such as "What song will get you on the dance floor?" or "Any advice for the newlyweds?". This will encourage guests to write something lighthearted and creative.

However, it's important to remember that the primary purpose of the RSVP is to confirm guest attendance and finalise details such as dietary requirements. So, while it's great to add a personal touch, be sure to keep the tone and content appropriate and concise.

Space Constraints

When designing your RSVP card, consider leaving some blank space for guests to write their notes. This will make it easier for them to share their thoughts and well-wishes. You could also include a line specifically for a personal note or a song request, with a short sentence to prompt guests, such as "We'd love to hear from you!" or "Any song requests?".

Practical Considerations

When adding a personal note section, be mindful of the overall layout and word count of the RSVP card. You don't want the design to appear cluttered or confusing. A clear, well-organised layout will make it easier for guests to fill out and for you to finalise the details.

Also, consider the return postage cost. If you anticipate that guests will write lengthy notes, you may need to include extra postage on the return envelopes to ensure their safe arrival.

Sample Wording

• "We'd love to hear from you. Any special memories or advice for us?"
• "Share your thoughts or a fun song request here:"
• "We can't wait to celebrate with you! Feel free to include any notes or well-wishes below:"
• "Any song requests to get us on the dance floor?"
• "We'd love to know your favourite memory of us as a couple:"

Include dietary requirements

When it comes to wedding RSVPs, it's important to include a section for guests to indicate any dietary requirements they may have. Here are some tips and suggestions for including this information:

Understanding Dietary Requirements

Before drafting the RSVP card, it's helpful to understand the different types of dietary requirements your guests may have. These can range from food allergies and intolerances to religious or ethical dietary restrictions. Some common examples include Coeliac disease, vegetarianism, veganism, and Halal or Kosher dietary laws. Understanding these requirements will help you create an inclusive menu that accommodates everyone's needs.

Wording and Formatting

When asking about dietary requirements on the RSVP card, keep the wording simple and clear. You can use phrases such as "Please let us know if you have any dietary requirements" or "Special dietary requests (only if applicable)". If you want to capture the number of people with specific requests, you can list different dietary options and ask guests to specify the number of people choosing each option. For example, you can have sections for "Number of vegetarians", "Number of vegans", and so on.

Additionally, it's a good idea to provide space for guests to specify any allergies or additional details. This can be an open-ended question such as "Allergies or special requests (please specify):". This allows guests to provide more detailed information about their dietary needs.

Communicating with Guests

If you're unsure about a guest's dietary requirements, don't be afraid to reach out and ask for more information. It's always better to have a clear understanding of their needs rather than making assumptions. You can also encourage guests to write a note on the back of the RSVP card for any additional clarity. This personal touch can be helpful in ensuring you have all the information you need to accommodate their requests.

Working with Caterers

When planning the menu, communicate your guests' dietary requirements to your caterers well in advance. This will allow them to prepare and ensure that everyone's needs are met. Discuss options for accommodating different dietary restrictions, such as providing separate gluten-free, vegan, or Halal/Kosher options. If possible, ask for a separate printed menu for guests with dietary requirements, so they can easily identify suitable dishes.

Alternative Options

If you're unable to provide a fully customised menu for each guest, consider offering a buffet with a variety of options. Label all the dishes clearly and provide a list of ingredients to help guests make informed choices. You can also suggest that guests bring their own sweet treats or snacks if they have specific dietary needs.

Remember, the key to successfully accommodating dietary requirements is effective communication. By gathering information from your guests and working closely with your caterers, you can ensure that everyone feels included and well-fed on your special day.

Frequently asked questions