Handwritten Or Typed: Wedding Thank-You Notes Explored

Wedding thank-you notes are traditionally handwritten, and this is considered good etiquette. While there are pre-printed thank-you cards available, these can come across as impersonal and cold. However, it is not necessary to send a thank-you note to every guest, only those who gave a gift or money. The reception is considered to be the thank-you to the guests for attending the ceremony. It is recommended to send wedding thank-you cards within two weeks of receiving a gift, and for gifts received after the wedding, within three months of the wedding date.

Handwritten vs. typed

Wedding thank-you notes are generally expected to be handwritten. While there are pre-printed thank-you cards available, they are often considered impersonal and cold. Handwriting notes shows that you've taken the time to personally write a thoughtful message, and they can go a long way in showing your gratitude.

However, it is important to note that digital communication is becoming more common, and some couples may opt for digital thank-you notes, especially if they are concerned about their wedding's environmental impact. While this is technically acceptable, nothing replaces a classic handwritten note. Texting your wedding thank-yous should be avoided.

If you choose to handwrite your notes, it is essential to have the right supplies. Choose a thank-you card design that represents you as a couple, and treat yourself to a high-quality pen. Blue or black ink is generally the best choice, and be sure to use a pen that won't smear or bleed through the paper. Stamps, labels, and a return address stamp or printer will also make the process easier.

To make the task more manageable, it is a good idea to plan and prepare before diving in. Keep a list of guests' addresses and gifts, and consider dividing the task with your partner. You can also send thank-you notes as you receive gifts, rather than waiting until after the wedding.

Whether you choose to handwrite or type your wedding thank-you notes, the most important thing is to express your sincere gratitude.

Who to send thank-you notes to

Anyone who gives a wedding gift, whether it's a physical present, a monetary gift, or a charitable donation, should receive a thank-you note. This includes people who couldn't attend the wedding but still sent gifts. It's also a nice gesture to send a thank-you note to anyone who travelled a long distance to attend the wedding or offered their support in other ways.

You don't need to send a thank-you note to everyone who attended the wedding if they didn't bring a gift. However, if you had a destination wedding, it's considered good etiquette to send thank-you notes to all guests, as their presence is considered their gift.

It's also worth noting that you should send a thank-you note to each individual who contributed to a group gift. However, if you're unsure who contributed, it's acceptable to only thank the person who handed or sent the gift to you.

Timing

It's a good idea to start writing thank-you notes as gifts come in, rather than waiting until after the wedding. This helps to spread out the workload and ensures you don't forget anyone. If you receive a gift before the wedding, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and send a thank-you note before the big day.

If you're worried about the task feeling overwhelming, create a system to stay organized. Keep a spreadsheet or list of gifts received, along with the sender's name and address. This will make it easier to keep track of who you need to thank and when. You can also prepare your stationery, pens, and stamps in advance so that you have everything you need when it's time to get writing.

Dividing the task with your partner can also help to make it more manageable. You can split the list of guests based on who knows each guest better, or divide it evenly down the middle. Remember, it's important that both of your names are included at the end of each card.

While it may be tempting to type out your thank-you notes to save time, handwritten notes are considered more personal and thoughtful. Your guests will appreciate the extra effort, even if your handwriting isn't perfect!

What to include in the notes

While it is considered proper etiquette to handwrite wedding thank-you notes, it is not always necessary. Here are some tips on what to include in your wedding thank-you notes:

Express Gratitude

The most important element of a wedding thank-you note is to express your gratitude. A simple "thank you" will suffice, but you can also be more creative and use phrases such as:

• "We are so grateful for..."
• "We really appreciate..."
• "Your wedding gift means so much to us..."

Mention the Gift

It is considered polite to mention the gift by name in your thank-you note. This shows that you received and appreciate the gift. If the gift is money, you do not need to mention the exact amount, but you can mention how you plan to spend it. For example:

• "Thank you so much for the espresso machine! We have become serious coffee fiends and can't wait to make our own drinks at home."
• "Thank you for your generous gift. We are now one step closer to the kitchen remodel of our dreams."

Personal Connection

Make a personal connection with the giver or give them a compliment. You can mention how their presence at the wedding was a gift in itself, or refer to a person you have in common. For instance:

• "It was so wonderful to have you celebrate alongside us at the wedding."
• "It was so nice to see you at the wedding – my father always has such wonderful things to say about you."

Repeat Your Thankfulness

End your note by repeating your thankfulness. This can be a simple phrase such as "Thank you again" or something more creative like:

• "We can't wait to share more meaningful experiences with you!"
• "We'll always cherish [the gift]."

Digital vs. handwritten

Wedding thank-you notes are traditionally handwritten, and many sources still recommend this approach. Handwriting your thank-you notes shows that you've taken the time and effort to personally express your gratitude, and it can be considered rude or lazy not to do so. However, digital communication is becoming more common, and it is technically possible to send digital thank-you notes, especially if you're concerned about the environmental impact of paper stationery.

Digital Thank-You Notes

Digital thank-you notes are a more modern approach to expressing gratitude after a wedding. They can be a convenient and eco-friendly option, especially if you have a lot of guests to thank. Sending digital thank-you notes can save time and effort, as you don't need to purchase stationery or stamps, and you can type your messages instead of writing them by hand. Additionally, digital notes can be delivered instantly, so your guests will receive your thanks much faster than if you were to send physical cards.

However, digital thank-you notes may be considered impersonal and less thoughtful than handwritten notes. Some guests, particularly older relatives or those from more traditional backgrounds, may be offended by a digital thank-you note and see it as a sign of laziness or a lack of appreciation. Additionally, digital messages can sometimes feel less permanent or special compared to a physical card that can be kept as a memento.

Handwritten Thank-You Notes

Handwritten thank-you notes are the traditional choice for expressing gratitude after a wedding. They are considered timeless, thoughtful, and meaningful. Taking the time to write personalised messages to each guest shows that you value their presence at your wedding and appreciate their gift. Handwritten notes also allow for a more personal connection, as you can include specific details about the gift or the guest's presence at the wedding.

However, handwriting multiple thank-you notes can be time-consuming and tedious, especially if you have a large number of guests. It can be challenging to find the right words to express your gratitude, and there may be concerns about legibility or consistency in handwriting style. Additionally, there is a risk of notes getting lost in the mail or taking longer to reach your guests.

Both digital and handwritten thank-you notes have their advantages and disadvantages. Digital notes are convenient and efficient, but they may be seen as less thoughtful. Handwritten notes are traditional and meaningful, but they can be more time-consuming and tedious to create. Ultimately, the decision between digital and handwritten notes depends on your personal preferences, the expectations of your guests, and the level of effort and personal touch you want to convey.

Frequently asked questions