Skipping Maid Of Honors: A Wedding's Unique Take

The short answer is no, you don't have to have a maid of honor at your wedding. It is becoming more common to forgo this role altogether. However, having a maid of honor can be helpful for dealing with logistics and having someone to rely on for moral support. If you are worried about choosing just one person to be your maid of honor, you can always have two! You can also create a new role, such as a man of honor or a sis or bro of honor, or simply rely on your bridesmaids and wedding planner for support. Ultimately, it is your wedding, and you can plan it however you want!

Having multiple maids of honour

There are some things to keep in mind, though, when it comes to having multiple maids of honour. Firstly, it's a good idea to ensure that your chosen maids of honour get along. If they don't know each other well, you might want to organise a get-together so they can get acquainted before the wedding. This will make it easier for them to work together and ensure your wedding day runs smoothly.

Another thing to consider is how to divide the duties typically handled by one maid of honour. You can ask them to work together on everything or assign specific tasks to each person based on their strengths and interests. For example, one maid of honour might be a whiz at planning events, so you could put them in charge of the bridal shower, while the other might be better at public speaking and can give a speech at the reception.

It's also important to make each maid of honour feel special and valued. You can do this by giving them different dresses or accessories that set them apart from the other bridesmaids. You could also ask them to walk down the aisle together, showing that they are equals in your heart.

Overall, having multiple maids of honour can be a wonderful way to include more people in your wedding and ensure you have plenty of support during the planning process and on the big day itself.

The maid of honour's duties

Yes, you can skip having a maid of honor at your wedding. It is your wedding, and you can plan it however you want.

The Maid of Honor's Duties:

The maid of honor is the head bridesmaid, responsible for leading all of the bridal party-related tasks and being the bride's right-hand person. Here is a list of the maid of honor's duties:

Pre-Wedding:

• Be a source of support for the bride and help with any tasks she needs assistance with.
• Lead the bridesmaids and ensure all important tasks are completed.
• Introduce the bridesmaids to each other and set up a group chat.
• Compile a bridal party budget and ensure all bridesmaids can afford it.
• Mediate any conflicts within the bridal party.
• Be the point of contact for any wedding guests with questions.
• Attend wedding dress shopping appointments and provide opinions.
• Help the bride choose bridesmaid dresses and ensure everyone orders them on time.
• Host or co-host the bridal shower with the bridesmaids.
• Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.
• Attend pre-wedding events such as the engagement party and rehearsal dinner.

On the Wedding Day:

• Create an emergency kit with items like safety pins and fashion tape.
• Enforce the timeline and ensure everyone is where they need to be on time.
• Field any last-minute questions from vendors.
• Sign the marriage license as a witness.
• Hold the bridal bouquet during the ceremony.
• Make sure the bride eats and drinks enough throughout the day.
• Act as a backup hostess by directing guests and showing them where to sit.
• Give a speech at the reception, usually after the best man.
• Collect any wedding gifts and ensure they are delivered to the couple.

After the Wedding:

• Attend the couple's farewell party.
• Ensure all wedding cards and gifts are delivered to the couple.
• Take care of any remaining bridal party admin, such as coordinating outstanding expenses.

The maid of honor also has a few additional duties if the wedding is a destination wedding, including booking her own travel and accommodations and familiarizing herself with the wedding location.

The maid of honour's attire

Yes, you can skip having a maid of honour at your wedding. It is your wedding, and you can plan it however you want.

One way to differentiate the maid of honour is to have them wear a different dress style or colour. For example, if the bridal party is wearing French blue, the maid of honour could wear a soft sky hue, or if the party is in lavender, a deeper eggplant shade. Alternatively, the maid of honour could wear a printed dress, such as floral or stripes, while the other bridesmaids wear solid colours.

Another option is to focus on accessories. All the bridesmaids could wear the same gown, but the maid of honour could be gifted a bejewelled belt or a gorgeous hair accessory, like a pearl clip, to set them apart.

If you want all the dresses and accessories to be the same, a unique bouquet for the maid of honour can be a subtle way to distinguish them. The bouquet could be slightly larger, include an extra flower, or have an additional colour to set it apart.

For a more subtle change, if the bridesmaids' outfits offer multiple strap options or necklines, the maid of honour could wear a different style. For example, they could wear a strapless neckline while the others have cap sleeves, or they could choose a one-shoulder design instead of a sweetheart neckline.

If the maid of honour is not a woman, they can still be included in a way that aligns with their gender expression. Communicate and empathise to find attire that suits their expression and the wedding theme.

The maid of honour's speech

The Maid of Honour Speech

• Introduction: Begin by introducing yourself and your relationship with the bride. This could be as her sister, best friend, or neighbour. Share how long you have known each other and express your gratitude and honour at being her maid of honour.
• Stories about the Bride: Share light-hearted, funny, or special memories that you and the bride have shared. Include quotes, inside jokes, and anecdotes that showcase the bride's wonderful qualities and your unique bond.
• The Couple's Love Story: Share memories of how the couple met, their first impressions of each other, and any funny or heartwarming stories from the early days of their relationship.
• The Proposal: Tell the story of how the groom proposed, including any role you played in the planning, and any surprises or special details.
• Heartfelt Advice: Offer advice and encouragement to the couple about love, marriage, and commitment. You can include popular quotes about love, poetry, or readings, or write your own vows or promises to the couple.
• Toast to the Couple: Raise your glass and invite the audience to do the same. Introduce the couple by their new shared name and take a sip.
• Keep it Concise: Aim for a speech that is heartfelt but brief, typically around 3-5 minutes.
• Be Mindful of the Audience: Avoid sharing stories that might be embarrassing or inappropriate for family members or older guests to hear. Steer clear of inside jokes that may exclude others, and ensure your speech is inclusive and relatable.
• Practice: Rehearse your speech to improve your delivery and manage nerves. Stand in front of a mirror, share your speech with a friend, or record yourself to refine your performance.
• Include Humour: While your speech should be loving and heartfelt, it should also entertain the audience. Include funny stories, one-liners, or affectionate teasing throughout your speech.
• Edit and Punch Up: Once you've written your speech, edit it to make it more concise and impactful. Remove any unnecessary waffle, and focus on the most engaging and entertaining parts.
• Avoid Clichés: Steer clear of cheesy clichés about love and friendship. Instead, focus on the bride's unique qualities and quirks, and celebrate her true character.
• Don't Thank Anyone: It is not the maid of honour's job to thank people, so avoid including this in your speech.
• Don't Drink Too Much: Alcohol can increase nerves and impair your ability to deliver a clear and meaningful message, so it's best to avoid drinking too much before your speech.

Examples:

"Good evening everyone, I'm [Name], and I have the honour of being the maid of honour for my best friend [Name]. We've been through so much together, from awkward teenage years to our crazy college days. But no matter what, we've always had each other's backs. And now, I'm here to stand by her side on one of the most important days of her life."

"Hello everyone, I'm [Name], the maid of honour and the bride's college roommate/best friend. I've known [Name] for [number] years, and seeing her so happy and in love with [Partner] fills my heart with joy. When she told me about him, she couldn't stop smiling. In fact, she smiled so much I thought she'd taken up face exercises!"

"Hello, I'm [Name], the maid of honour and the bride's sister. Growing up, we did everything together, from playing dress-up to playing pranks on our parents. And now, here we are, all grown up, and my sister is getting married! [Partner], thank you for putting up with our crazy family traditions, and welcome to the clan!"

"Good evening, I'm [Name], the maid of honour. I remember the day [Name] told me she'd met someone special, and now seeing them together, I can see their love is the real deal. [Name] and [Partner], you inspire us with your commitment and kindness. [Name], thank you for being the light in my life and showing me what true friendship looks like. I love you both, and I can't wait to see what the future holds."

"Hello everyone, I'm [Name], the maid of honour and [Name]'s adventure buddy. I'll never forget the time we hiked up the wrong mountain trail! Seeing [Name] and [Partner] fall in love has been an incredible journey, like witnessing a grand adventure filled with twists, turns, and new horizons."

Remember to keep your speech positive, speak from the heart, and focus on celebrating the couple and their love story. With these tips and examples, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and touching maid of honour speech.

Alternatives to having a maid of honour

Yes, you can skip having a maid of honour at your wedding. Here are some alternative options:

Don't Have a Wedding Party

Traditionally, the couple and the wedding party stand at one end of the event space, with guests seated at the other end. If you don't want to include a maid of honour, you can eliminate the wedding party altogether and arrange the guest chairs in a circle surrounding you and your partner as you say your vows.

Have Your Sibling(s) Stand With You

If you have a number of friends and it's stressful to choose a "best friend" as your maid of honour, you can include a sibling or multiple siblings instead. This is a special way to incorporate your family into your wedding.

Have Your Dog as Your Maid of Honour

If you find it challenging to choose one human best friend, you can shake things up by having your furry best friend as your maid of honour. They will probably need some training to stay calm during the ceremony, but it can be a cute and memorable addition to your wedding.

Elope and Have a Party Later

If choosing your wedding party is adding stress to your wedding planning, you can opt for a private ceremony with only family members and then throw a big celebration party later with all your friends and acquaintances, without the need for a maid of honour.

Have a "Person of Honour"

Instead of sticking to gendered language, you can choose a "person of honour," who can be anyone important to you, regardless of their gender identity. If you want your wedding party's outfits to be coordinated, you can stick to a designated colour scheme or pattern.

Have Your Mom or Grandma as Your Maid of Honour

If you don't want to choose a friend as your maid of honour, you can ask your mom or grandmother to fill this role as a meaningful way to celebrate your marriage. They might also have more free time to help you plan and prepare for your wedding.

Have Multiple "Maids of Honour"

Instead of having one traditional maid of honour, you can opt for multiple "maids of honour" to split up the duties and responsibilities. This way, you can designate specific tasks to each person and make everyone feel special and included in your big day.

Have a "Best Woman", "Lady of Honour", or "Honor Attendant"

If you're not comfortable with the term "Maid of Honour", you can use alternative terms such as "Best Woman", "Lady of Honour", or "Honor Attendant". These terms are more inclusive and can be used to honour your closest friends or family members regardless of gender.

Frequently asked questions