Renewing Wedding Vows: Can I Do It In Church?

Wedding vow renewal ceremonies are a way for married couples to renew their commitment to each other and demonstrate that the vows they took are still considered sacred. Most ceremonies take place in churches, and many Christian denominations, such as the Catholic Church, Methodist Churches, and Anglican Churches, offer services for a reaffirmation of marriage. The Church of England, for example, offers a service called Thanksgiving for Marriage. In some cases, couples may choose to renew their vows in a venue other than a church building, provided the vicar taking the service is happy with that. While the universal Church has not proposed any ritual for the renewal of marriage vows, several countries, especially in North and South America, have included in the Ritual for Marriage a rite for the renewal of vows, especially on the 25th and 50th anniversaries.

What is a vow renewal?

A vow renewal is a ceremony for a married couple to recommit themselves to each other. It is a way to honour a relationship and celebrate a couple's love and commitment to each other.

Vow renewals are usually held on milestone wedding anniversaries, such as the 5th, 10th, 25th or 50th anniversary. However, some couples choose to renew their vows annually, while others do so to mark a significant event in their lives, such as overcoming a difficult period or the birth of a child.

A vow renewal ceremony can be as lavish or as simple as the couple wishes. It may take the form of a ceremony similar to a marriage ceremony, with the couple exchanging the same vows as on their wedding day, or new vows they have written for the occasion. The ceremony can be religious or non-religious, and held indoors or outdoors. It is not legally binding, so there are no rules to follow.

The ceremony is usually followed by a dinner or reception with loved ones, much like a wedding. Couples may also choose to have a small celebration, such as an intimate dinner for two, a viewing of their wedding video, or drinks with a small group of friends and family members.

Why renew your vows?

There are many reasons why a couple might choose to renew their wedding vows. Here are some of the most common motivations:

Celebrating Love and Commitment

The primary motivator for couples is often simply to celebrate the strength of their love and their ongoing relationship. A vow renewal ceremony allows couples to reaffirm their love and commitment to one another and reflect on the journey they have taken together. It is a chance to go back to the basics with their spouse, reminding them of the love and dedication that brought them together in the first place.

Marking a Milestone Anniversary

Many couples choose to renew their vows to mark a milestone wedding anniversary, such as their 5th, 10th, 20th, 25th, 30th, 40th, or 50th anniversary. These anniversaries are often seen as significant milestones in a marriage and provide an opportunity to reflect on the years spent together.

Including Loved Ones

Some couples may have had a small wedding or eloped when they first got married and now want to celebrate their love with a larger group of family and friends. A vow renewal ceremony allows them to include those who are important to them and celebrate with the people who have been a significant part of their journey together.

Overcoming Challenges

For some couples, renewing their vows is a way to acknowledge that they have faced and overcome significant challenges or hardships in their marriage. It is a way to celebrate the strength of their partnership and the fact that they have endured difficult times together.

Making a Fresh Start

A vow renewal can also be a way for couples to make a fresh start after a particularly difficult or challenging period in their relationship. It allows them to reaffirm their commitment to one another and move forward with a renewed sense of love and dedication.

Ultimately, the decision to renew wedding vows is a personal one, and there is no "right" or "wrong" reason to do so. It is a chance for couples to celebrate their love and commitment and create a meaningful and unique ceremony that reflects their relationship.

How to renew your vows

Renewing your wedding vows is a beautiful way to celebrate your marriage and honour your commitment to your spouse. It is also a chance to relive your wedding day and create new memories. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to renew your vows:

Decide on the style and location of the event:

Your vow renewal ceremony can be as extravagant or simple as you want. It can be a casual gathering in your backyard, an intimate dinner with loved ones, or a grand celebration in a wedding venue. The location can be anywhere that holds a special meaning for you and your partner, such as a place of worship, your home, a park, or even a mountaintop. There are no legal restrictions, so feel free to get creative!

Choose a venue:

With the style and location in mind, it's time to select a venue. If you're planning an intimate gathering, you might consider your home or a local park. For larger groups, look into wedding venues, public buildings, or even that dream venue you couldn't book for your wedding. Remember to book your venue as early as possible to ensure availability.

Hire professionals:

While you don't need a whole team of vendors, consider hiring a photographer or videographer to capture this special occasion. You may also want to engage a wedding planner, florist, musicians, or caterers, depending on your budget and the complexity of the event.

Create a guest list:

Decide who you want to be present at your vow renewal ceremony. This can be just the two of you, a small group of family and friends, or a larger gathering. Remember, there is no pressure to invite everyone you invited to your wedding. This time around, you can make it as intimate or grand as you wish.

Send out invitations:

Once you have confirmed the location and date, send out invitations to your guests. The invitation should reflect the tone and formality of the event, letting guests know what to expect, such as whether there will be a meal, cocktails, or a cake.

Plan your attire:

There is no set dress code for a vow renewal ceremony. You can wear your original wedding attire, something new and elegant, or even a casual outfit. It's up to you! Just ensure your outfit matches the formality of the event.

Meet with your officiant:

Your vow renewal ceremony can be led by anyone you choose, such as a pastor, a friend, a family member, or even your children. Meet with your officiant to plan the ceremony, including readings, well wishes, and the exchange of vows. If you are having a religious ceremony, your officiant can also deliver a blessing.

Prepare your vows:

This is your chance to reaffirm your love and commitment to each other. You can rewrite your vows to reflect your married life experiences, the challenges you've overcome, and the joys you've shared. Include personal stories and lessons learned to make your vows even more meaningful.

Plan the ceremony details:

The ceremony usually includes a processional, the exchange of vows, and a kiss. You may also include blessings from the officiant, readings by family or friends, and the re-dedication of rings. The length of the ceremony will depend on the elements you choose to include and can last between 20 and 30 minutes.

Consider a reception:

While the main focus is the vow renewal ceremony, many couples choose to host a reception afterwards as an opportunity to celebrate with their loved ones. This can be a simple meal, a full-blown wedding reception with cake and speeches, or anything in between. It's your day to shine!

Where to renew your vows

There are no legal or religious restrictions on where you can renew your vows, so you can get creative and choose a place that is meaningful to you and your partner.

If you're after a small, intimate ceremony, you could hold it at home in your garden or backyard. If you're looking for something a little more grand, you could hire a wedding venue or a public building such as a village hall or a castle.

You could also renew your vows in a place of worship, such as a church or a chapel. If you're after a religious ceremony, you could discuss with your vicar or priest about holding a service of blessing.

If you're looking for a unique setting, you could choose a local park, a mountaintop, your favourite pub, or even a beach or scenic destination.

If you're looking to relive your wedding day, you could return to the place where you were married or spent your honeymoon.

For a more low-key affair, you could renew your vows at a registry office, although this tends to be a more popular option for those who want to include family and friends in the ceremony.

What to wear when renewing your vows

Renewing your wedding vows is a wonderful way to celebrate your marriage and shared life together. When it comes to what to wear, there is no set dress code and you can personalise your outfit as you wish. However, if you are planning to renew your vows in a formal or religious setting, it might be wise to opt for something semi-modest.

You might want to wear a short wedding dress, or perhaps you'll choose to wear the princess dress you couldn't afford the first time around. You could even wear your original wedding outfit. If you wore a traditional bridal gown the first time, you might decide to switch it up, or you could wear white again. It's entirely up to you.

If you're planning to get dressed up, be sure to mention any dress code expectations in your invites so your guests know what to expect.

Frequently asked questions