Bringing Babies To Weddings: What You Need To Know

Whether or not to bring a baby to a wedding is a hotly debated topic. Some people believe that weddings should be adult-only events, while others argue that it is natural for babies to cry and that parents should be able to bring their children. Some couples choose to have a no children rule for their wedding, while others make exceptions for babies, particularly those who are breastfeeding or too young to be left alone with a sitter. Ultimately, it is up to the couple getting married to decide whether or not babies are allowed at their wedding, but they should be prepared to receive some backlash from guests regardless of their decision.

Crying babies during the ceremony

It is natural to worry about a baby crying during a wedding ceremony. While it is impossible to guarantee that a baby won't cry, there are some steps you can take to minimise the chances of this happening and to mitigate any disruption.

Firstly, it is important to ensure that the baby is well-fed before the ceremony. A hungry baby is more likely to be cranky and start crying. Make sure you have enough snacks and milk to keep the baby satiated throughout the ceremony.

Secondly, babies get bored easily, so it is a good idea to bring some toys or other entertainment to keep them occupied. Choose toys that are quiet and won't cause a distraction.

Thirdly, ensure that the baby is dressed comfortably in clothing that doesn't restrict their movement or cause irritation. Layer their clothing so that they can be kept warm or cool, depending on the weather.

Even with these precautions, there is still a chance that the baby may cry. If this happens, it is important to stay calm and not panic. Try to soothe the baby, and if necessary, take them for a walk outside or to a nearby room where they can calm down or take a nap. Most people will understand if a baby cries during a wedding ceremony, so don't stress too much about it.

If you are concerned about the potential for crying babies to disrupt the ceremony, you could also provide a designated area for parents and babies to retreat to if needed. This could be a quiet room near the ceremony or an area at the back of the venue. You could also include a note on your wedding website or details card to let guests know about this option. However, some people may find this offensive, so it is important to word it carefully. Alternatively, you could ask the officiant to make a quick announcement at the beginning of the ceremony, welcoming any fussy babies and their parents to step out to the designated area.

Guests adding their babies' names to the RSVPs

When it comes to guests adding their babies' names to their RSVPs, it's important to remember that as the host, you have the right to decide whether or not children will be included in your wedding. If you've made it clear that your wedding is an adult-only event, it's reasonable to kindly remind guests of this and ask them to make alternative arrangements for their little ones. It's completely valid to want to avoid disruptions during the ceremony or to manage costs and space constraints.

However, it's also essential to be prepared for the possibility of guests being unable or unwilling to attend without their babies. Some new parents, especially those with infants, may face challenges in finding childcare or be uncomfortable with the idea of leaving their child with a babysitter. In such cases, you could offer to help them find a trusted babysitter or suggest local resources, although it's not your responsibility to provide babysitting services.

If you're open to some flexibility, you could consider making exceptions for specific cases, such as breastfeeding infants. These babies may not require a separate seat or increase your headcount, and their parents can easily remove them from the ceremony if they become fussy. However, keep in mind that creating exceptions for some guests but not others may lead to hurt feelings and resentment.

Clear and consistent communication is crucial. If you decide to stick to your no-babies rule, politely explain your decision to your guests and offer alternatives, such as providing a list of recommended babysitters or childcare facilities in the area. You could also include a gentle reminder on your wedding website or with the invitations, stating something like, "We kindly request that our guests who are parents take this opportunity to enjoy an evening without their children."

Ultimately, the decision is yours, and it's important to do what feels right for you and your partner. Some guests may not understand your choice, but remember that it's your special day, and you should feel free to celebrate it as you wish.

Breastfeeding infants

Bringing a breastfeeding infant to a wedding can be a daunting task, but with some planning, it is certainly doable. Here are some tips to make the process smoother:

Option 1: Leave your baby with a caregiver and attend the wedding without them

If you choose to leave your baby with a caregiver, such as a family member or babysitter, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, you will need to pump enough breast milk ahead of time to ensure your baby has enough to eat while you are away. This can take some time, so it is important to plan ahead. Secondly, organise a caregiver who is comfortable feeding your baby expressed milk and who respects your wishes regarding feeding. Finally, consider your baby's response to being cared for and fed by someone other than yourself. It may be helpful to introduce a bottle to your baby a few weeks before the wedding so that they can get used to it.

Option 2: Bring your baby to the wedding and have a caregiver on-site

If you want your baby nearby but don't want to be responsible for them during the wedding, you can bring them to the wedding and organise a caregiver, such as a family member or babysitter, to be on-site. Book a room for the caregiver at the wedding venue or nearby, so they can take care of your baby and bring them to you when it's time to feed. This option can be more costly but allows you to have your baby close by while still enjoying the wedding.

Option 3: Bring your baby to the wedding with you

If you feel more comfortable having your baby with you, you can bring them to the wedding. Contact the couple getting married and express your concerns about leaving your baby. Most likely, they will be understanding, and your baby won't require a separate place setting. Wear clothing that is comfortable and easy to breastfeed in, such as a wrap dress or a top and trousers. You may also want to bring a breastfeeding cover if you prefer more privacy while feeding. Remember that it is perfectly fine to have a drink or two while breastfeeding, as long as you time it right.

Additional tips for bringing a baby to a wedding:

• Protect your baby's hearing: Weddings can be loud, so consider purchasing ear muffs for your baby to protect their ears.
• Dress your baby appropriately: Bring footed pajamas in case it gets cold, and consider using a babywearing carrier to keep your baby snug and comfortable.
• Use a portable white noise machine and car seat cover: This can help your baby sleep in a stroller and create a barrier to prevent people from getting too close.
• Bring snacks and water: Take care of yourself by bringing nourishing snacks and staying hydrated, especially if you are breastfeeding.

Guests' reactions to a no-baby rule

While some guests may understand and respect the wishes of the couple, others may find it challenging to attend a wedding without their babies. This can be due to various reasons, such as breastfeeding or the difficulty of finding alternative arrangements for their little ones. In some cases, guests with babies may choose to decline the invitation or ask for exceptions to be made for them.

For instance, in one scenario, a guest with a breastfeeding infant expressed that the only way she and her husband could attend the wedding was if they could bring their baby. The guest explained that she was breastfeeding exclusively and that her baby would not take a bottle. As a result, she was unable to leave her infant with a sitter. While the couple maintained their no-baby rule, the guest ultimately decided not to attend.

In another case, a guest with a nursing baby asked if the no-children rule included infants. When informed that it did, the guest chose to decline the invitation. Additionally, two of the guest's siblings, who had initially planned to attend, also decided to rescind their RSVPs due to the no-baby rule. This situation highlights how guests' reactions to the rule can vary, with some guests being more understanding than others.

To avoid confusion and disappointment, it is essential to communicate the no-baby rule clearly and early on in the planning process. This allows guests with babies to make alternative arrangements if needed. It is also important to be consistent in enforcing the rule to avoid any perceptions of unfairness.

While it is understandable that couples may want to create a child-free environment for their wedding, it is important to be sensitive to the needs of guests with infants. Communicating the rule in a respectful and polite manner can help ensure that guests feel valued and considered, even if they are unable to attend due to the restrictions. Ultimately, the decision to enforce a no-baby rule is a personal one, and each couple should weigh the potential reactions of their guests when making their decision.

Providing babysitting services

Benefits of Providing Babysitting Services:

• Increased attendance: Offering babysitting services means that guests with children are more likely to attend your wedding, especially if they are travelling from out of town.
• Peace of mind for guests: Parents can fully enjoy the wedding celebrations, knowing their children are being well cared for in a safe and fun environment.
• Child-friendly atmosphere: By creating a separate fun zone for kids, you can ensure that both adults and children have a memorable time at your wedding.

Planning and Preparation:

• Check with guests: Before hiring babysitters, confirm with your guests if they would be interested in using this service and ask about their children's routines and interests.
• Hire in advance: It is recommended to book wedding babysitters about three months in advance to ensure availability.
• Ask for recommendations: Your wedding day team, local friends, and family may be able to provide referrals to trusted babysitting services or individuals.
• Interview candidates: Conduct phone or video calls with potential babysitters to assess their experience, qualifications, and compatibility with children.
• Communicate expectations: Ensure babysitters have a list of children's names, ages, and parent contact information. Clearly communicate your expectations for their care, including feeding, changing diapers, and playing, as well as the event timeline.

Babysitting Options:

• On-site babysitting: You can arrange for babysitters to be on-site at your wedding venue, creating a dedicated space for children to play and enjoy age-appropriate activities.
• Hotel babysitting: If guests are staying at hotels separate from the venue, consider offering hotel babysitting services. Babysitters can travel to guests' hotel rooms or accommodations to provide personalised care.
• Individual babysitters: You can also engage babysitting services to find individual babysitters or nannies for private sits, catering to the unique needs of each family.

Things to Consider:

• Number of children: The number of children expected to attend your wedding will impact the number of babysitters required and the cost of the service.
• Age of children: The ages of the children will determine the level of attention and care needed. Younger children or newborns may require more attention and specialised care.
• Duration of childcare: Consider the duration of your wedding events and plan for babysitters to be available before and after the ceremonies to allow for drop-offs and pick-ups.
• Qualifications and experience: Ensure that the babysitters you hire are qualified, experienced, and have undergone background checks and CPR certification.

Frequently asked questions