How To Address Wedding Invitations When You Want Guests

Wedding invitation etiquette is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. It is important to get it right to ensure your guests feel welcome and have all the information they need. One common question that arises is whether to include and guest on the invitations. This is especially relevant when inviting single guests who are not currently in a relationship but whom you would like to give the option to bring a date. While there are mixed opinions on the matter, some suggest that including and guest on the inner envelope or writing “2” on the RSVP cards can be a good solution. Others opt for a more direct approach, including and guest on the outer envelope or mentioning the guest by name if known. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference and the level of formality desired for the wedding.

Inviting a plus-one

If you can afford it, it's always nice to invite all your guests with a plus-one. However, weddings are expensive and plus-ones can add up, so it's understandable if you can't. If you're working with a tight budget, consider prioritising who gets to bring someone. Start with your immediate family and your wedding party—they are your wedding-day VIPs, so they should be the first to get the extra perks. It doesn't matter whether they're seeing someone new, in a long-term relationship, or just want to bring a friend along—they should have first dibs on extra seats.

If you have guests who are in a serious relationship with someone you know pretty well, write their partner's name on the invitation instead of "and guest". For the rest of your guests, it all comes down to your budget. If you can't afford to invite an extra 20 or 30 people, only allow plus-ones for guests who are in serious relationships. Whether you draw the line at couples who live together or those who have been together for six months or more is up to you, but try to be consistent so that no one's feelings are hurt.

If you really can't swing it, don't offer a plus-one to any guests who aren't engaged or married. However, try to curate your guest list so that your friends aren't stuck on their own at a table full of strangers. If you have single friends who don't know anyone else at the wedding, you might want to extend a plus-one invitation to them.

If you do allow plus-ones, choose your guest carefully. A plus-one usually means a date, so don't bring a friend just to score some free drinks from the open bar. If you want to bring a friend instead, ask the couple if that's okay.

If you're in a new relationship and the couple has allowed you to bring your new partner, find time during the night to politely introduce your partner to the bride and groom. No one likes paying for a stranger at their wedding, so they'll appreciate being able to put a face to the name. That being said, don't make the whole night about introducing everyone to your new boyfriend or girlfriend. This day is about the bride and groom, and you don't want to take any attention away from them.

If you're bringing a plus-one, your wedding gift budget will need to reflect that it's coming from two people instead of one. Asking someone to spend money on people they don't know can be tricky, so consider pitching in a little extra for the gift to cover your guest.

What to Include on the Invitation

If you're inviting someone with a plus-one, be sure to write "and Guest" on the envelope, or put the name of their significant other on the invitation if you know it. If you're inviting the whole family, either write "The Smith Family" or list each family member's name on the line beneath the parents'.

Etiquette for addressing the envelope

When it comes to addressing your wedding invitations, there are a few etiquette rules to follow to ensure your guests feel welcome at your celebration. Here are some tips for addressing the envelopes:

Outer Envelope Etiquette:

The outer envelope should be addressed formally and include the recipient's full name and their personal title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Mx., Dr., etc.). If you're inviting a married couple, put their names on the same line. For unmarried couples, each name should have its own line. If you're inviting a single person with a plus-one, you can write their name and "and Guest" or "and Mr./Ms. Guest" for a more formal approach.

Inner Envelope Etiquette:

The inner envelope is more informal, so you have more flexibility. You can use just the recipient's last name or first name, depending on your preference. If you're inviting a single person with a plus-one, you can simply write "and Guest" on the inner envelope.

Family Invitations:

When inviting a family with young children (under 18), the outer envelope should include the names of the parents or guardians. On the inner envelope, list each child by name. If you don't want children at the wedding, do not include their names as this implies they are not invited. For older children (18+), send separate invitations.

Other Tips:

• If you're only using outer envelopes, clearly state all invited parties on the front, including plus-ones and children.
• Individually addressing invitations by hand is a nice touch, but it's not necessary. You can print guest address labels or buy pre-printed envelopes.
• Be mindful of the order of guests' names, especially when dealing with distinguished titles. The person with the higher-ranking title should be named first.
• Avoid putting guests' names directly on the invitation; instead, use the outer and inner envelopes for personalisation.

Remember, these are general guidelines, and you can adapt them to fit your wedding style and theme. The most important thing is to ensure your guests feel welcomed and celebrated!

Inviting single friends

When it comes to inviting single friends to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to be clear about whether or not they are allowed to bring a plus-one. If you are unable to accommodate additional guests, it is best to address this as soon as possible. Inform your family and bridal party so that they know what to say if anyone asks them, and call your guests to apologise for any misunderstanding.

If you have a lot of single friends attending, it is perfectly acceptable to not invite any dates. However, it is considerate to ensure that a few singles are seated together for dinner so that no one feels left out. If you do decide to allow plus-ones, be mindful that your single friends may bring anyone from a significant other to a friend or relative. If this is a concern, you can ask them to provide the name of their guest in advance so that you can include it on the invitation.

Another option is to assess each guest individually. If they won't know anyone else at the wedding, it is only fair to allow them to bring a date. However, if they will be part of a larger group, it is absolutely fine for them to attend on their own. Ultimately, it is up to you and your budget as to whether you allow single guests to bring a date. If you are unable to accommodate everyone, be consistent and apply the same rule to all your single guests.

Inviting guests with children

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is a tricky area of wedding etiquette. Here are some tips to help you navigate this situation:

Make Your Decision Early On

The first step is to decide whether your wedding will be "family-friendly" or "adults-only". This is a divisive topic, and you may find that some guests disagree with your choice. It is important to make this decision early, before you start writing your wedding invitations. Consider the number of children in your family and close circle of friends, and whether you are willing to make exceptions for certain guests.

Be Clear About Your Expectations

Once you have made your decision, you need to communicate it clearly to your guests. You can include this information within your wedding invitations or create a separate page on your wedding website. Be explicit about whether children are invited or not, and if you are making any exceptions, list the names of the children who are invited. It is also a good idea to explain to parents that they will need to take responsibility for their children during the event.

Considerations for a Kid-Friendly Wedding

If you decide to invite children, there are several ways you can make the event more enjoyable for your youngest guests:

• Hire a children's entertainer to perform before the wedding band.
• Provide tabletop activities such as puzzles or colouring sheets during the reception.
• Offer a children's menu with simple, kid-friendly food options.
• Organise childcare to keep the children collectively entertained and supervised.

Addressing the Envelopes

If you are inviting children, the traditional way to indicate this is to include their names on the invitation. If you are using both an outer and inner envelope, the child's parents' names should go on the outer envelope, and the child's name(s) should be written beneath on the inner envelope. If a child is over 18, they should receive a separate invitation, even if they still live at home. If you are not using an inner envelope, write the child's name on the outer envelope.

Communicating an Adults-Only Wedding

To make it clear that children are not invited, only put the couple's name on the outer envelope. If you are including any additional cards in your invitation, such as a reception card, you can note "Adults-Only Reception" or "Our wedding is adult-only, thank you". Being direct and explicit will help to avoid any confusion or accidental breaches of your rule.

Other Considerations

If you are inviting some children but not others, it is best to stick to a clear rule, such as only inviting immediate family. This is to avoid causing offence to those guests who are not permitted to bring their children. It is also customary to invite the flower girl and ring bearer to the reception, unless you are having a purely adult reception. In this case, you should at least allow them to attend the cocktail hour and offer to find a babysitter for the rest of the night.

Inviting guests with distinguished titles

When it comes to inviting guests with distinguished titles, it's important to follow the proper etiquette to ensure your invitations are addressed correctly. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this:

Doctors

On the outer envelope, you can address it to "Dr. [Name] and Mr./Mrs./Ms./Mx. [Partner's Name]"". If the doctor uses their partner's surname socially, you can write "Dr. [Name] and Mr./Mrs. [Partner's Name]"". If both parties are doctors, you can address it to "Doctors [Names]"". On the inner envelope, you can use "Dr. [Name] and Mr./Mrs./Ms. [Partner's Last Name]" or the couple's last name.

Military Personnel

For military personnel, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Lieutenant/Captain [Name], [Branch of Military] and Mrs./Mr./Ms./Mx. [Partner's Name]"". If both have military titles, you can write "Captains [Names], [Branch of Military]". On the inner envelope, use their rank and name, followed by their partner's name, such as "Lieutenant [Name], [Branch of Military] and Mrs./Mr./Ms./Mx. [Partner's Name]"".

Lawyers

When inviting lawyers, address the outer envelope to " [Name], Esq. and Mr./Mrs./Ms./Mx. [Partner's Name]"". If both parties are attorneys, you can write "Michelle Brown, Esq. and John Brown, Esq.". On the inner envelope, use their last names or "Mr. and Mrs.. [Last Name]"".

Judges

For judges, the outer envelope can be addressed to "The Honorable [Name] and Mr./Mrs./Ms./Mx. [Partner's Name]"". If both have judicial titles, you can write "The Honorable [Names]"". On the inner envelope, use "Judge [Name] and Mr./Mrs./Ms./Mx. [Partner's Name]" or "Judge [Names]"".

Remember to always double-check the preferred titles and names of your guests before addressing the envelopes. This ensures that you're using the correct titles and showing your guests the proper respect.

Frequently asked questions