Requesting Gifts: Etiquette For Wedding Invitation Wording

It can be tricky to know how to ask for gifts on your wedding invitations without sounding rude or presumptuous. Traditionally, guests give wedding gifts to help the new couple set up their life together, but nowadays, many couples already live together and don't need homeware items. So, what's the best way to ask for gifts without causing offence? Well, it's all about subtlety and politeness. You could include a separate gift card or a line on your information card, or direct guests to your wedding website or registry. It's also a good idea to emphasise that their presence at the wedding is the most important thing and that gifts are not required. If you do want to suggest specific gifts, it's best to provide a range of options at different price points and make it clear what you'll be using their gift for, whether that's your honeymoon, a house deposit, or a charity donation.

Asking for money instead of gifts

It is not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift. In fact, according to The Knot's 2023 Wedding Registry Study, cash funds are some of the most popular registry items today, especially for honeymoons. However, it is considered rude to include your preference for cash gifts on your wedding invitation. Instead, there are several other ways to ask for money as a wedding gift.

Firstly, you can include an insert card with your invitation suite that includes your wedding website address. On your website, you can explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. For example, you could say: "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon."

Secondly, you can ask your family members and close friends to spread the word. Let them know that you'd prefer cash and why, and they can tactfully share this information with guests who ask them for gift ideas.

Thirdly, you can be specific about how you'll use the cash. You can do this on your wedding website or through word of mouth. Guests may feel more inclined to give a monetary gift if they know it will go towards a special project or goal, such as a honeymoon or a new home.

Finally, you can set out a box for cards at the reception. Even if you have a digital cash registry, some guests may prefer to bring a card with cash or a cheque inside, so providing a designated box will help keep track of all the monetary gifts.

Including gift information on your wedding invitations

Firstly, it is essential to understand that your guests will likely expect to give a gift to celebrate your marriage. Traditionally, wedding gifts were given to help the new couple set up their home together. Nowadays, many couples already live together before getting married, so they may prefer money or alternative gifts.

If you are hoping for monetary gifts, it is best not to include this information directly on your wedding invitations. Instead, consider including a separate gift card or a line on your information card. This approach is more subtle and allows you to provide additional context. On this card, you can politely inform your guests that their presence at your wedding is the most important gift of all. However, if they wish to honour you with a gift, you would be grateful for a monetary contribution.

> "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, we would greatly appreciate a contribution to our honeymoon fund."

Alternatively, you can direct guests to your wedding website, where you can provide more detailed information about gifts. This approach allows you to explain why you have registered for cash gifts and how you plan to use the funds. For example:

> "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon fund."

If you are not requesting monetary gifts, you can still include a card with your invitations to provide clarity. For example, if you are a more established couple who doesn't need financial support, you could ask guests to donate to a charitable fund instead. Here is an example:

> "Please, no gifts. Instead, consider making a donation to your favourite charity."

If you truly do not want your guests to give any gifts, be sure to clearly communicate this. You could say something like:

> "We're excited for your presence, not presents. Please, no gifts."

Remember, it is essential to strike a balance between conveying your wishes and being appreciative of your guests' presence and generosity.

Wording suggestions for wedding invitations

Asking for gifts on your wedding invitations can be a little awkward, but it is expected that guests will bring a gift to celebrate your marriage. Here are some ways to politely ask for gifts:

• Include a separate gift card or wishing well card with your invitations. This can include a message such as: "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a list [of gift suggestions] has been registered with [store name]."
• Direct guests to your wedding website. It is considered rude to include registry details on your invitations, so include a link to your wedding website on the invite or include an insert card with the web address. On your website, you can explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. For example: "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon."
• Spread the word through family and friends. After you set up your registry, tell your close family members or friends so they can spread the word if guests turn to them for gift inspiration.
• Provide a well-placed and labelled box at the reception to collect cards and gifts.
• Send thank-you notes to your guests for their attendance and gifts.

If you would prefer not to receive physical gifts, it is still important to communicate this clearly to your guests. You can include a card inserted with your invitation suite that offers specific details, such as: "In lieu of gifts, we would appreciate a contribution made to our honeymoon fund." Alternatively, you can direct guests to a wedding website with more information. It is best to offer an alternative to physical gifts, such as a request for money, rather than a "no gifts" message.

How to politely ask for gifts

Asking for gifts on your wedding invitations can be a tricky task, but it is possible to do so politely and gracefully. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you word your requests in a tasteful and considerate manner:

Be considerate and appreciative:

Start by expressing your gratitude and emphasising the importance of your guests' presence at your wedding. Let them know that their attendance is the most valuable gift they could give. Phrases such as "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all" or "All we truly want for our wedding day is for you to be there to celebrate with us" set a considerate and appreciative tone.

Provide a subtle suggestion:

Instead of directly asking for gifts, consider using phrases that politely suggest your preference. For example, you could say, "However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution towards our honeymoon." This approach respects your guests' freedom to choose while gently guiding them towards your preferred option.

Include a separate gift card or information card:

Rather than including gift details directly on the invitation, consider including a separate gift card or a line on your information card. This approach is more discreet and avoids the potential pitfall of appearing greedy or presumptuous. You can include a message such as, "For more information about our wedding, please visit [insert wedding website link]. In lieu of gifts, we would appreciate contributions to our honeymoon fund."

Provide a well-placed and labelled box at the reception:

Set up a designated area at the reception for guests to place their cards and gifts. This ensures that monetary donations and gifts are securely collected and makes it easier for you to keep track of contributions for thank-you notes later.

Spread the word through family and friends:

Inform your close family members and friends about your preference for monetary gifts or contributions towards your honeymoon. They can act as a subtle communication channel to spread the word among other guests who may be unsure about gift choices.

Create a gift registry or honeymoon registry:

If you prefer cash gifts or contributions towards specific goals like your honeymoon or a house deposit, consider setting up a gift registry or honeymoon registry. Provide the relevant details, such as the store name, website, or any necessary codes, in your wedding invitations. This ensures that guests have clear guidance on how to contribute.

Use poems or creative wording:

Add a creative touch to your invitations by including a poem or playful wording to request gifts. This approach can take some of the seriousness out of the request and make it more lighthearted and enjoyable for your guests. For example, you could say, "As we've lived together for a year or two, we really don't need anything new. But if you were thinking of giving us a small wedding gift, some money for our future wouldn't go amiss."

Remember, the key to politely asking for gifts is to maintain a considerate and appreciative attitude throughout your communication. Respect your guests' choices, express your gratitude, and provide clear guidance on how they can contribute if they wish to do so.

Asking for no gifts

It is becoming increasingly common for couples to request no gifts at their wedding, and there are many reasons why they may wish to do so. For example, couples may have been living together for a long time and already have everything they need, or they may be planning a move and do not want to pack extra items. Whatever the reason, it is important to communicate your wishes clearly to your guests. Here are some ways to politely ask for no gifts on your wedding invitations:

Include a Card with Your Invitation

Although some etiquette experts advise against it, you can use your wedding invitation suite to communicate that you don't want gifts. You can include a separate information card with a polite message such as "Your presence is your present. Please, no gifts." This card can also include extra details about accommodations and your wedding website. If your wedding invite is two-sided, you can use the backside to mention your request.

Add a Note on Your Wedding Website

Your wedding website is an excellent place to let your guests know that you would like them to come to your wedding gift-free. Guests will naturally visit your website to find your registry information. Instead of listing registry links, simply add a note such as "Please no gifts, we just want to celebrate with those we love most (that's you!)".

Suggest a Donation to Charity

If some guests feel strongly about bringing a gift, you can suggest that they donate to a charity in lieu of traditional wedding gifts. Place personalised note cards with the charity's information and how to give at each table at your reception. You can even add a personal story if the charity holds a special place in your heart. This way, you can raise money for a good cause while also respecting your wishes.

Spread the Word in Person

In addition to written communication, use word-of-mouth to let your guests know about your no-gifts preference. Mention this while socialising with your guests at your engagement party or in conversations with friends and family. You can also enlist your wedding party (bridesmaids, groomsmen, and other loved ones) to help spread the word.

• "We're excited for your presence, not presents. Please, no gifts."
• "Your presence is truly enough, no gifts please."
• "We would prefer your presence rather than your presents! However, if you insist, money towards revamping our home would be greatly appreciated."
• "While having you at our wedding is all that we wish for, contributions towards our future together will be greatly appreciated."
• "We have zero expectation for gifts. That said, we suggest making a donation to your favourite charity or, for those that prefer, please chip in towards a kitchen table we have our eyes on."

Frequently asked questions