Planning A Wedding: When Is The Right Time?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but it is also one of the happiest days of your life. From finding the perfect outfit to booking a venue, there are many things to consider. One of the most important decisions is choosing who to invite. It is normal to feel nervous about inviting coworkers to your wedding. However, an etiquette expert says it is never weird or unprofessional to include people you share daily hours with. Another consideration is the cost of the wedding. The average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2023 was $35,000, with a large chunk of that going towards food and drinks.

Wedding costs and budgeting

Wedding costs can add up quickly, so budgeting is an important part of planning your big day. The first step is to figure out who is contributing financially to the wedding and how much they are offering. Be sure to clarify if there are any expectations around how the money is spent. Next, consider what you and your partner can realistically afford to spend. This includes factoring in daily expenses, such as rent or mortgage payments, as well as any upcoming costs, such as medical expenses or other weddings you plan to attend.

Once you have a sense of your total budget, you can start allocating funds to different areas. Here is a general breakdown of a typical wedding budget:

• Reception venue, catering, and rentals: 37-45%
• Wedding planner/coordinator: 5-15%
• Photography and/or videography: 8-12%
• Reception music/entertainment: 10-12%
• Wedding attire and beauty: 7-9%
• Flowers and decor: 8-10%
• Wedding cake and desserts: 2%
• Transportation: 3-6%
• Wedding stationery: 2-3%
• Wedding favours and gifts: 1-2%
• Wedding rings and insurance: 1-9%

It's important to note that these are just averages, and you may choose to allocate your budget differently based on your priorities. For example, you may decide to spend more on a live band instead of a DJ, or opt for a more expensive venue.

To stay organised, consider using a spreadsheet or budgeting app to track your expenses. It's also a good idea to open a joint savings or checking account specifically for wedding expenses. When reaching out to vendors, ask for all taxes and fees upfront, and remember to budget for tips.

Finally, don't be afraid to tailor your budget to your needs and priorities. If a videographer or wedding cake isn't important to you, skip it and allocate those funds to something else. It's your day, so make choices that reflect what matters most to you and your partner.

Choosing a wedding venue

Check the Capacity

The size of the venue is crucial and will impact your budget and your guests' enjoyment. Make a rough guest list and choose a venue that can comfortably accommodate your expected number of guests. Don't forget to consider whether you want a large or small wedding and whether you'll have more guests in the evening.

Location, Location, Location

Consider where your guests will be coming from. If they're not local, choose a venue that is easily accessible and has nearby accommodation options. If you have international guests, think about the distance from the nearest airport. Also, think about the travel time for evening-only guests—is a four-hour drive reasonable?

Plan Your Budget

Before you start looking at venues, create a wedding budget with your partner. This will help you avoid being carried away by venues that are out of your price range. Remember to include all costs, such as venue hire, catering, décor, and any other additional services.

Decide on a Theme

Think about whether the venue fits your desired wedding aesthetic and theme. For example, if you want a glamorous wedding, a country house or stately home might work. For a modern feel, consider a warehouse venue. If you and your partner love the outdoors, a garden marquee or castle with large grounds could be perfect.

Discuss Catering Options

Find out whether the venue has internal or external caterers, and what type of cuisine they offer. Be sure to check if they can accommodate any dietary requirements your guests may have, such as vegetarian, vegan, or gluten-free options.

Confirm Supplier Rules

If you want to bring your unique creative vision to life, check if the venue allows you to choose your own suppliers. Some venues require you to select from a list of recommended suppliers, so ask about this early on to avoid surprises.

Check Entertainment Options

If you're planning any form of entertainment, from a wedding band to circus performers, check if the venue can accommodate this. Consider the space and facilities available, especially if you're planning a summer wedding with outdoor music.

Browse Wedding Packages

Many venues offer wedding packages that group various services together for a lower price. Opting for a package can save you money and make the planning process less stressful. Just be sure to clarify exactly what is included to avoid surprise costs.

Visit the Venue

Once you've narrowed down your options, visit the venue in person if possible. Schedule a tour, meet the staff, and try to envision your wedding day. Pay attention to the layout, lighting, and overall ambiance.

Read Reviews

Reviews from other couples can provide valuable insights into a venue's strengths and weaknesses. Look for feedback on the staff's professionalism, the quality of services, and the overall experience to help guide your decision.

Wedding music and entertainment

Music is an integral part of a wedding, from the ceremony to the reception and the after-party. It's essential to hire the right musicians or DJs to suit you and your guests' tastes.

Wedding Ceremony Music

You can hire musicians to play at your wedding ceremony, drinks reception, or wedding breakfast, or a combination of these. Classical guitarists, harpists, string quartets, and acoustic duos are popular choices for ceremonies and drinks receptions. Harpists and string ensembles usually charge per hour, with a minimum performance fee, while acoustic solo acts and duos usually offer an all-in price.

Wedding Reception Music

The dancing usually begins after the meal and speeches. Wedding bands and DJs are a great way to get your guests on their feet. Most wedding bands will play a little something for everyone, from soul and R&B to rock 'n' roll, indie, and pop. A DJ can help your wedding reception flow seamlessly and keep the party going between band sets.

Popular Wedding Songs

According to a recent study, the most popular wedding song is Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". Other popular choices include:

• "Dancing Queen" by ABBA
• "Respect" by Aretha Franklin
• "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey
• "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire
• "Higher Ground" by Stevie Wonder
• "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder
• "Let's Dance" by David Bowie
• "December, 1963 (Oh What a Night)" by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons
• "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
• "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac
• "Jolene" by Dolly Parton
• "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter
• "Tell Me Something Good" by Rufus and Chaka Khan
• "Lover" by Taylor Swift
• "Move On Up" by Curtis Mayfield
• "Feelin' Alright" by Joe Cocker
• "Modern Love" by David Bowie
• "You Make My Dreams (Come True)" by Hall & Oates
• "Kiss" by Prince
• "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon
• "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads
• "Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone
• "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper
• "Rock Lobster" by The B-52's
• "Golden Years" by David Bowie
• "Cha Cha Slide (Original Live Platinum Band Mix)" by DJ Casper
• "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers
• "Crazy in Love" by Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z
• "We Found Love" by Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris
• "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera
• "Happy" by Pharrell Williams
• "Party in the U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus
• "Shape of You" by Ed Sheeran
• "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift
• "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele
• "You've Got the Love" by Florence + The Machine
• "Beautiful" by Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrell Williams and Charlie Wilson
• "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
• "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
• "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers
• "Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
• "Cosmic Girl" by Jamiroquai
• "Hey Ya!" by Outkast
• "Valerie" by Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse
• "Pony" by Ginuwine
• "In My Mind" by Dyrono & Gigi D'Agostino
• "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas
• "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake
• "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake feat. Timbaland
• "One More Time" by Daft Punk
• "Something Just Like This" by The Chainsmokers & Coldplay
• "Closer" by The Chainsmokers feat. Halsey
• "One Kiss" by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa
• "Shut Up and Dance" by Walk The Moon
• "D.A.N.C.E." by Justice
• "Break My Soul" by Beyoncé
• "About Damn Time" by Lizzo
• "Cold Heart" by Elton John and Dua Lipa
• "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd
• "Levitating" by Dua Lipa
• "Kiss Me More" by Doja Cat feat. SZA
• "Big Energy" by Latto
• "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo
• "Higher Love" by Kygo and Whitney Houston
• "Gimme Gimme—Club Mix" by Lee Cabrera, Kevin McKay, Bleech, remixing ABBA
• "Running Up That Hill" by Kate Hill
• "Love You Better" by Alex Preston
• "Rasputin" by Boney M.
• "Havana" by Camila Cabello feat. Young Thug
• "The Middle" by Zedd, Maren Morris, and Grey
• "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green
• "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" by Marvin Gaye and James Taylor
• "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra
• "Somewhere Beyond the Sea" by Bobby Darin
• "L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole
• "I Only Have Eyes for You" by The Flamingos
• "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
• "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley
• "You Send Me" by Sam Cooke
• "That's How Strong My Love Is" by Otis Redding
• "The Best Is Yet to Come" by Frank Sinatra and Count Basie
• "At Last" by Etta James
• "This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)" by Natalie Cole
• "Your Song" by Elton John
• "Harvest Moon" by Neil Young
• "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran
• "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran
• "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars
• "You Are The Best Thing" by Ray Lamontagne
• "Marry You" by Bruno Mars
• "Better Together" by Jack Johnson
• "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes
• "Lucky" by Jason Mraz feat. Col

Guest lists and invitations

Creating the Guest List

Start by writing down everyone you and your partner would want at your wedding if there were no limitations. From there, separate out your top-tier guests – the people you wouldn't get married without. These guests are non-negotiable and will be the foundation of your guest list.

Next, consider your budget and venue. How many guests can you realistically afford, and how many can your dream venue accommodate? This will help determine how many people from your list can receive invitations. If you're having an intimate ceremony or a destination wedding, it may only be possible to invite your top-tier guests.

It's also important to consider your parents' input, especially if they are contributing financially. Be upfront and show them your plan, allowing them to express any concerns respectfully. You can allocate a certain number of seats for them to fill or include them in deciding on the criteria for who makes the cut.

To avoid hurt feelings, try to be fair and consistent when inviting family members and friends. For example, if you invite four cousins, the fifth may feel left out. Similarly, if one set of grandparents is invited and seated prominently, the other set may be miffed if they're not included.

Sending the Invitations

Etiquette dictates that wedding invitations should be sent at least eight weeks in advance, or ten weeks if the ceremony is out of town. You may not receive a yes from everyone, so be prepared to send out a second round of invitations to those you would have loved to include if you'd had more room. Send these invitations as soon as possible so that no one feels like an afterthought.

Remember, it's impossible to please everyone, and it's your special day. Don't feel pressured by others' opinions or emotions – stand your ground and invite only those you truly want to celebrate with.

Managing RSVPs

Stay organized by using a guest list manager or a spreadsheet to track RSVPs. This will help you keep tabs on who has confirmed, who needs more time, and who has only confirmed for certain parts of the wedding. Some guest list tools even allow you to send invitations and collect RSVPs online, making the process paper-free and more efficient.

People to Consider Excluding

• Other people's children (unless you want them to be part of your big day)
• Plus ones you don't know well or whom your guests have not been dating for very long
• People who invited you to their wedding years ago but are no longer close friends
• Neighbours whom you are not super-friendly with
• Friends with a track record of unruly behaviour at weddings or bars/clubs
• Kids of family and friends (if you decide to make your wedding adults-only)
• Plus ones you've never met, unless there are extenuating circumstances
• Friends of your parents or in-laws whom you've never met

Wedding food and catering

Food and catering are essential aspects of a wedding, and there are many options to choose from. Firstly, it's important to decide on a style of catering that suits your wedding theme and budget. Here are some popular options:

• Buffet-style meals: This is a more casual option that allows guests to serve themselves from a variety of dishes. It can be a cost-effective choice and creates a communal feel.
• Food trucks: Food trucks offer variety and a relaxed vibe. From gourmet tacos to wood-fired pizzas, food trucks can be a unique and memorable option for wedding catering.
• Plated dinners: For a more formal approach, plated dinners are a traditional choice. This option typically involves a three-course meal, with guests being served at their tables.
• Family-style sharing platters: This style encourages a sense of community and interaction among guests. Large platters of food are placed on each table, and guests serve themselves family-style.
• Hors d'oeuvres and appetizers: If you're looking for a less formal option, consider serving a variety of hearty appetizers or grazing boards. This can be a stylish and budget-friendly way to ensure your guests are well-fed.

When choosing a caterer, it's important to consider your wedding's location as well. Here are some popular caterers in New York City:

• Bartleby & Sage: With over 20 years of experience, they create contemporary and artistic dishes using locally sourced ingredients.
• Pheasant Catering: Based in Brooklyn, Pheasant offers a range of catering options, from relaxed buffets to three-course plated dinners.
• Hemant Mathur Catering: Led by Michelin-starred chef Hemant Mathur, this catering company specializes in fine Indian cuisine.
• Chef Abishek Sharma Catering: This boutique Indian catering company, based in Greenwich Village, offers international destination events and caters to weddings across the country.
• Lulu's Apron: With a focus on bold and fresh flavors, Lulu's Apron is a New York-based catering company that specializes in weddings and special events.
• Kedma Events: Premier chef David Feldman crafts Middle Eastern and Israeli-inspired cuisine for intimate or grand weddings.
• Creative Foods Catering: Providing international flavors and professional staff, Creative Foods Catering is one of the highest-rated caterers in New York City.

These are just a few examples of the many catering options available. It's important to consider your budget, the number of guests, and any specific dietary requirements when making your decision.

Frequently asked questions