A Wedding For Me? How To Decide

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, but with the right tools and mindset, it can be a fun and rewarding experience. Here are some key considerations to help you decide if you're ready to take on the challenge:

Time and Organisation

Do you have enough time to plan your big day? A longer timeline is ideal, as it gives you more flexibility and reduces stress. Organisation is also crucial to keeping everything on track, from managing deadlines to handling everyday life. Consider using planning tools, apps, or a physical wedding notebook to stay organised.

Budget

Setting a realistic budget is essential. Discuss finances with your partner and any family members who may contribute. Be prepared for unexpected costs and give yourself a cushion of 10-15% for unforeseen expenses.

Priorities and Vision

Determine your top three priorities, whether it's the venue, date, photographer, or something else. This will help you stay focused and make compromises in other areas. Develop a clear vision for your wedding style and theme, and gather inspiration from various sources like Pinterest, Instagram, and bridal sites.

Guest List and Venue

The guest list and budget go hand-in-hand. Consider how many people you want to invite and what kind of venue you'll need. Research venue options, packages, restrictions, and prices to find the best fit for your vision and budget.

Vendors and Contracts

Research and choose vendors carefully. Prioritise those that are crucial to your vision, such as photographers, florists, caterers, and entertainment. Communicate your expectations clearly and read contracts thoroughly before signing.

Support and Self-Care

Planning a wedding can be overwhelming, so don't hesitate to ask for help. Delegate tasks to your bridal party, family, and soon-to-be spouse. Prioritise self-care and schedule time for yourself and your partner to relax and reconnect.

Remember, your wedding should reflect who you are as a couple. Stay true to yourselves, incorporate personal touches, and don't be afraid to break tradition if it doesn't align with your values. Happy planning!

Budgeting

Determine Your Budget

First, figure out who will be contributing to the wedding financially and how much they are willing to spend. Be realistic about what you can afford, taking into account your daily expenses, debt, and any upcoming costs such as a down payment on a home or medical expenses.

Prioritize

Discuss with your partner what your top three priorities are for the wedding. Is it the venue, a specific date, a particular photographer, or a live band? Prioritize those must-haves and be willing to compromise on the rest.

Research

Do your research to get an understanding of the typical costs of different aspects of a wedding. Break down your budget into categories such as venue, catering, attire, flowers, entertainment, etc. The venue and catering will typically take up the biggest chunk of your budget.

Be Flexible

Stay flexible and be prepared to make compromises. If a certain aspect puts you over budget, cut back in another area that is less important to you.

Track Your Spending

Create a spreadsheet or use a budget app to track your expenses. Be organized and ask for all taxes and fees from vendors upfront.

Hidden Costs

Remember to budget for hidden costs such as hair and makeup trials, floral trials, food and drink tastings, and bachelor/bachelorette parties. Also, don't forget to include tips for your vendors in your budget.

Use Rewards Programs

Take advantage of rewards programs and cash-back offers when making wedding-related purchases. Use one credit card for all your wedding expenses so you can easily track your spending and benefit from any rewards.

Delegate

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your bridal party, family, and soon-to-be spouse are there to support you. Delegate tasks to those around you and be understanding if they decline.

Stay Sane

Remember to take time off from wedding planning to spend time with your partner and relax. Take the week before your wedding off work to ensure that all last-minute details are completed, and to reduce stress.

Guest list

Creating the guest list for your wedding can be a daunting task, but it's an important one as it will affect your choice of venue and budget. Here are some tips to help you create a guest list that is focused, direct, and instructive:

Start with a Realistic Budget

The number of people you invite will impact your wedding budget. From the number of place settings and centrepieces to the venue size, your guest list will play a significant role in your spending. Therefore, it's essential to set a budget first and then decide on the number of invites. This will help you stay within your financial limits and avoid overspending.

Prioritize Close Loved Ones

Focus on your closest loved ones and immediate family members first. Think about the people you absolutely must have at your wedding, such as parents, siblings, close friends, and grandparents. These are your non-negotiables, and they form the foundation of your guest list.

Work with Your Partner

Sit down with your partner and create a master list of everyone you would invite if there were no limitations. Start with immediate family and close friends, and then work outwards to include colleagues, distant relatives, acquaintances, and their partners or children. From this master list, you can start refining and trimming it down to fit your budget and venue capacity.

Separate Out Your Top-Tier Guests

Identify your A-list guests, the ones you simply can't imagine getting married without. These are your must-haves, and they get an invite no matter what. For everyone else, the invite is dependent on space and budget availability. Don't be afraid to allocate some as evening guests only to manage your numbers.

Be Mindful of Plus-Ones

Decide early on how you'll handle plus-ones to avoid last-minute decisions. You might allow plus-ones for your wedding party, engaged or married couples, or those who live together. Alternatively, you can set a clear criterion, such as only inviting plus-ones if the couple has been dating for a certain period, like six months or more. Be consistent in applying this rule to avoid any hurt feelings.

Consider Your Parents' Input

Traditionally, both sets of parents have a say in the guest list, especially if they are contributing financially. Loop them into the planning process early on and show them your guest list plan. Be open to their concerns and try to find a compromise. You might reserve a portion of the guest list for them to allocate, ensuring it fits within your venue and budget constraints.

Remember, creating a wedding guest list is a personal process, and there are no hard and fast rules. The key is to stay organised, be mindful of your budget and venue limitations, and focus on the people you truly want to celebrate with.

Venue

Location

Do you want an "on-site" wedding, where the venue has a commercial kitchen and can provide catering, or an "off-site" wedding where you bring in your own food and drinks? On-site weddings are often more convenient and may offer packages that include catering, tables, chairs, and even an on-site coordinator. Off-site weddings give you more flexibility in terms of location and catering options but require more planning and coordination.

Size and Style

How many guests do you plan to invite? The venue should be able to accommodate your guest list comfortably. Consider whether you want a large, spacious venue or a more intimate setting. Also, think about the style of your wedding. Do you want a formal indoor venue or a casual outdoor setting? A rustic barn or a modern city loft? The venue should match the overall style and theme of your wedding.

Availability and Timing

Once you have a general idea of the location and size of the venue, start researching specific options. Look at venues' websites, read reviews, and compare prices. Consider the time of year you want to get married and whether the venue is available on your preferred dates. Keep in mind that popular venues may be booked up to a year or more in advance, so it's essential to start your search early.

Budget

Restrictions and Regulations

Different venues have different rules and regulations. Some may have restrictions on noise levels, decor, or the types of activities allowed. If you plan to have a religious or cultural ceremony, make sure the venue can accommodate your needs. There may also be restrictions on outside vendors, so be sure to ask about any limitations before booking.

Site Visits and Contracts

Once you've narrowed down your options, schedule site visits to see the venues in person. This will give you a better sense of the space and how it will work for your wedding. Pay attention to the layout, lighting, and overall atmosphere. When you've found the perfect venue, be sure to read the contract carefully before signing. Review all the details, including the date, time, fees, cancellation policies, and any restrictions.

Catering

Budget

Before you start researching caterers, it's essential to know how much money you can spend on food and beverages. This will make your conversations with caterers more productive, as they can then suggest options that fit your budget.

Recommendations

First, check if your wedding venue offers catering. If not, ask if they have a list of preferred vendors they've worked with before. If that doesn't work, ask other trusted wedding vendors (like a planner) for recommendations. You can also read online reviews, ask family and friends, or turn to social media for suggestions.

Timing

Start your search for caterers early, and be ready to book appointments once you've created a shortlist of candidates. These vendors can usually only work one wedding per day, so their schedules fill up fast.

Questions to Ask

When you meet with caterers, be prepared with a list of questions. Some things to consider asking include:

• Do you have availability on our wedding date?
• Can you create a custom menu based on our preferences?
• Can we sample some food ahead of time?
• What are your most popular dishes?
• Can you make kid's meals?
• Can you accommodate various allergy/dietary requests?
• Will food be made on-site or brought in?
• When will you need final menu choices and a headcount?
• Do you provide linens, table settings, and accessories?
• Do you provide front-of-house staff (servers), or do we need to hire our own?
• Do you have the proper catering license and liability insurance?
• What is the amount of the deposit due to hold our date, and when is the remainder due?
• What is your cancellation policy?

Tasting

Try to schedule a tasting before your wedding, so you know what to expect on the big day. This is also a great opportunity to suggest any changes or improvements.

Unusual Catering Ideas

If you want to add a unique twist to your wedding catering, consider some of these ideas:

• BBQ: Perfect for a summer wedding, with options to include vegetarian and vegan dishes.
• Pie: A classic, filling, and delicious option.
• Ice cream: A crowd-pleaser, especially during the summer.
• Scones: A lightweight, fluffy, and British dessert option.
• Food trucks: A unique and memorable dining experience that creates an informal atmosphere.
• Coffee bar: Keep your guests energised with a mobile coffee bar, especially if your wedding celebrations will be exhausting.

Simple Catering Ideas

If you're looking for simple culinary pleasures, consider these ideas:

• Buffet: Cheaper than a sit-down meal, and allows for more food options and easier accommodation of dietary requirements.
• Finger foods: Simple, straightforward, and easy to eat with your hands.
• Hog roast: A quirky and impressive visual feature that's also a cheaper way to feed your guests.

Allergies and Dietary Restrictions

Be sure to take allergies and dietary restrictions seriously. Ask your guests to inform you of any allergies when they RSVP, and make sure this information is passed on to your caterer.

Calculating Food Amounts

Your caterer will work out how much food you need, whether it's for a sit-down meal or a buffet. They will ask for final guest numbers a few weeks before the wedding, as the food is usually priced per head.

Timing of Meals

The timing of your meals will depend on the time of your ceremony and the order of events you choose for your wedding. Typically, there's a drinks reception followed by the wedding breakfast. However, you can shake things up and choose a different order if you prefer.

Unusual Foods

There are no hard and fast rules about what foods you can and cannot serve at your wedding. If you want to include pizza, afternoon tea, or any other unusual dishes, go for it! Just consider your guests' preferences and try to cater to a range of tastes.

Cheapest Foods to Serve

To save money, opt for dishes with seasonal, locally sourced ingredients. Using vegetables instead of meat will also reduce costs. If you want meat, ask your caterer about cheaper cuts.

Portion Sizes

Work with your caterer to create a bespoke menu that suits your budget. You can also save money by having guests collect their meals from a point of service or a buffet instead of a full table service.

Final Thoughts

Remember, your wedding is about celebrating your love with your nearest and dearest. Choose catering options that reflect you and your partner's personalities and tastes. Don't be afraid to add unique touches, but also consider your guests' preferences. Most importantly, enjoy the planning process and savour every moment of your special day!

Attire

The attire you choose for your wedding is a fun way to express your personality and style. It's also a chance to pay homage to your heritage or cultural background.

Wedding Dress or Suit

The first step is to browse wedding dress and suit ideas online and save your favourites. Then, learn the lingo before heading to any appointments. If you're shopping for a wedding dress, read up on silhouettes, necklines, trains and hues. For those shopping for a suit, consider whether you want a traditional suit or a sleek tuxedo. You can also consider whether you'll buy or rent your outfit.

Custom orders and alterations can take months, so it's best to start shopping for your wedding attire early. Here are some traditional options for wedding attire:

• Wedding dress or bridal gown
• Wedding veil, popularized by Queen Victoria
• Morning dress
• White tie
• Black tie or evening suit
• Non-traditional "tuxedo" variants (coloured jackets/ties, "wedding suits")
• Ao dai (traditional Vietnamese garment)
• Barong tagalog (formal embroidered garment from the Philippines)
• Batik and Kebaya (worn by the Javanese people of Indonesia and the Malay people of Malaysia)
• Dashiki (traditional West African wedding attire)
• Dhoti (male garment from South India)
• Hanbok (traditional Korean garment)
• Kilt (Scottish male garment)
• Kittel (worn by the groom at an Orthodox Jewish wedding)
• Qun Gua or Kua (traditional Chinese formal wear)
• Ribbon shirt (often worn by Native American men on auspicious occasions)
• Sampot (traditional Cambodian dress)
• Sari/Lehenga (traditional Indian dress)
• Sherwani (long coat-like garment worn in South Asia)
• Shiromuku Kimono (traditional Japanese wedding garment)
• Shweshwe (female dress worn by Basotho women during special ceremonies)

Accessories

Accessories are a great way to showcase your personality. Here are some ideas for wedding accessories:

• Tiara or wedding crown (worn by Syrian, Greek and Scandinavian brides)
• Topor (worn by grooms as part of a Bengali Hindu wedding ceremony)
• Jewellery
• Ribbon
• Blanket

Wedding Party Attire

If you're having a wedding party, you'll also need to choose attire for your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Here are some options:

• Bridesmaids: the female attendants to a bride. Males in this role are called honour attendants or groomsmen.
• Groomsmen or ushers: the attendants, usually male, to a bridegroom. Female attendants are called honour attendants or groomswomen.

Remember to give your wedding party enough time to purchase or rent their outfits and schedule any necessary alterations.

Frequently asked questions