Attending A Wedding: Conservative Dressing For The Occasion

When it comes to weddings, the term conservative can refer to a variety of things. In the context of wedding attire, a conservative dress code may entail modest or less revealing clothing. On the other hand, in the context of religious traditions, a conservative wedding may adhere to specific rituals and requirements to ensure the marriage is recognized as legitimate within that faith. For example, in Judaism, there are differences between Orthodox and Conservative weddings, including the gender of the rabbi, the exchange of rings, and the witnesses present. Additionally, when it comes to wedding venues, certain conservative rules and restrictions may apply, such as those imposed by the GGNRA (Golden Gate National Recreation Area) in the San Francisco Bay Area, which limit decorations, music, and the duration of the event.

Dress codes

When it comes to dress codes, it's important to consider the values and expectations of the conservative family. While the specific guidelines may vary, here are some general principles to keep in mind:

• Modesty is a key aspect of conservative dress codes. This often translates to avoiding revealing clothing, such as low-cut, backless, or sleeveless outfits. If you prefer a more conservative style, opt for higher necklines, longer sleeves, and less exposed skin.
• Consider the role of religion in the family's beliefs. For example, if the family is religious and the wedding is taking place in a church, it's respectful to dress accordingly. Avoid clothing that you wouldn't typically wear in a church setting.
• Take into account the opinions of family members, especially if they are known to be conservative and opinionated. In some cases, they may express their disapproval of certain attire, as seen in the example of a bride-to-be whose choice of a revealing wedding dress was met with concern by her future sister-in-law due to their conservative family's potential reaction.
• Be mindful of cultural and regional differences. What is considered conservative in one region or culture may not be the case in another. For instance, some online bridal shops in Utah offer more conservative options.
• If you're unsure about the dress code, don't hesitate to ask the couple or family members directly. They can provide valuable insight into their expectations and help you feel more confident in your attire choice.
• When in doubt, it's generally advisable to err on the side of modesty. You can always add accessories or layers to adjust your outfit if needed.

Remember, the goal is to respect the family's values while also feeling comfortable and true to yourself. Striking this balance will ensure that you fit in with the conservative atmosphere while also enjoying the celebration.

Guest behaviour

Being a wedding guest is a straightforward task. You just need to show up, enjoy yourself, and celebrate the happy couple. However, there are some etiquette rules to follow to avoid any faux pas. Here are some tips to ensure you are a gracious and thoughtful wedding guest:

• RSVP on time: It is important to respond to the wedding invitation by the deadline set by the couple. This is crucial for the couple's planning, including seating charts and headcounts for catering.
• Be thoughtful in your decision to attend: If you are unable or unsure about attending, it is okay to decline the invitation. Consider your financial situation, calendar availability, and other factors before making a mindful decision.
• Fill out the RSVP card accurately: Follow the instructions provided by the couple when responding to the invitation. If a physical response card is included, fill it out promptly. Otherwise, respond digitally through email or the couple's wedding website.
• Abide by plus-one invitation etiquette: Check the invitation carefully to determine if a plus-one is invited. Do not add a significant other without informing the couple, as it is considered a faux pas.
• Explore the couple's wedding website: The wedding website is a valuable resource for guests. It typically includes details such as the dress code, timeline, accommodations, directions, and other relevant information.
• Arrive early to the wedding ceremony: It is considered rude to be "fashionably late" to a wedding. Plan to arrive 30 minutes before the invitation start time to scope out the setting and find a seat.
• Prepare a wedding gift: Sending a gift to the happy couple is a golden rule of wedding guest etiquette. It is encouraged to purchase gifts from the couple's registry before the wedding. If you are unable to do so, you can send a monetary gift or contribute within a year of the wedding date.
• Follow the dress code: Adhere to the suggested dress code and avoid wearing anything controversial or inappropriate, such as head-to-toe white unless instructed otherwise. Consider the nature of the event, seasonality, and religious customs when choosing your attire.
• Attend both the ceremony and reception: Unless noted otherwise, guests are expected to attend both parts of the wedding. It is considered rude to ditch one for the other unless there are unavoidable circumstances, and even then, it is best to inform the couple in advance.
• Be thoughtful with last-minute cancellations: In case of emergencies, inform the couple immediately if you cannot attend. Simply not showing up is considered impolite, as it affects the hosts' financial responsibilities for catering and reception costs.
• Observe other guests: If you are attending a wedding outside of your traditional customs, follow the lead of family members and other guests. Respect religious ceremonies and cover your shoulders or remove hats if necessary.
• Be gracious and socialise responsibly: Introduce yourself to fellow guests, especially those seated at your table. Enjoy the cocktail hour, sign the guest book, and pace yourself at the open bar.
• Respect the seating chart: Do not move place cards or rearrange the seating chart. Respect the couple's planning and take your assigned seat. Introduce yourself to other guests and be attentive to anyone who may feel out of place.
• Be actively engaged: Stay present and engaged throughout the wedding ceremony and reception. Participate in activities, admire special moments, greet the couple and family members, and enjoy yourself.
• Do not leave too early: As a general rule, guests are encouraged to stay until the cake-cutting ceremony. In modern weddings, it is polite to stay through dinner and briefly congratulate the couple before departing.
• Follow the couple's instructions for kids: Respect the couple's wishes if they have requested an adults-only wedding. Only bring children if the invitation is addressed to "[person] and Family."
• Be kind and thoughtful: Avoid making assumptions or complaining about the couple's choices. Ground your attitude in kindness and thoughtfulness to honour and celebrate the happy couple.

Wedding location

The location of your wedding is a key part of the planning process. It's important to consider the kind of wedding you want and the experience you want to create for your guests.

Traditional or Non-Traditional?

Firstly, you should consider whether you want a traditional or non-traditional wedding. A traditional wedding often follows a set timeline and structure, which can be helpful if you're not sure where to start with your planning. However, a non-traditional wedding can give you more freedom to be creative and plan a day that truly reflects your personality and values.

Guest Experience

The location you choose will impact your guests' experience. Consider the size of your guest list and the atmosphere you want to create. If you're planning a large wedding, you'll need a venue that can accommodate everyone comfortably. Think about whether you want a formal or informal setting, and whether you want your guests to be able to stay nearby.

Logistics

There are also practical considerations when choosing a wedding location. Think about the following:

• Travel: How easy is it for your guests to get to the location? Is there adequate parking or access to public transport?
• Timing: Are there any restrictions on timing or duration for the wedding ceremony and reception?
• Permits: Do you need any special permits or permissions to hold your wedding at this location?
• Facilities: What facilities are available on-site? Are there adequate restrooms, electricity, and other amenities?
• Decorations: Are there any restrictions on decorations, music, or other elements of your wedding?
• Clean-up: What are the expectations and requirements for cleaning up after the wedding?

Outdoor Weddings

If you're considering an outdoor wedding, there are a few additional factors to keep in mind:

• Weather: What is the weather usually like at your chosen location during your planned date? Is there a backup plan in case of inclement weather?
• Accessibility: Is the outdoor location accessible for all of your guests, including those with limited mobility?
• Activities: Are there any activities or attractions nearby that your guests can enjoy before or after the wedding?

Popular Wedding Spots

• GGNRA (Golden Gate National Recreation Area): Offers diverse locations, including city and county parks, with dedicated staff to help with planning and permits. However, there are restrictions on duration, decorations, music, and receptions.
• Crissy Field: One of the four locations within GGNRA, offering a unique and scenic backdrop for your wedding.
• Fort Mason: Another GGNRA location with two spots to choose from: the Great Meadow and the Parade Grounds.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose a location that feels right for you and your partner. It's your special day, so make sure the location reflects your style and creates an enjoyable experience for you and your guests.

Timing

The timing of your wedding day is important to ensure that you and your guests can interact meaningfully and that you can spend quality time with your partner. Here are some tips to consider when planning the timing of your wedding:

Be Intentional About How You Start Your Wedding Day

Instead of waking up with a hangover or being immediately surrounded by friends and family, consider spending the morning of your wedding with your partner. You could go for a walk, drink coffee, and read love letters to each other. Starting the day in a calm and intentional way will help set the tone for the rest of the day.

Do a First Look

A first look is when the couple sees each other for the first time in their wedding outfits before the ceremony in a private setting. This can take a lot of stress out of the wedding day and give you more time with your guests. It also allows you to take family and wedding party photos before the ceremony, so you can spend the cocktail hour drinking cocktails and mingling.

Get Ready Together

If you value quality time over short, big moments, consider getting ready with your partner instead of separately. This can be a fun and intimate way to spend time together and help each other get ready for the ceremony.

Take Group Photos Earlier in the Day

Group photos are important but can be time-consuming. Consider taking them earlier in the day, ideally before the wedding begins and before guests arrive. This will free up time later in the day for more relaxed and unstructured conversations and celebrations.

Greet Your Guests Instead of Hiding

Traditional wedding timelines often involve the couple hiding before the ceremony. Instead, consider greeting each guest as they arrive. This will allow you to connect with your guests in a more meaningful way and show off your wedding outfit up close.

Change Up Your Ceremony Timing

Traditional weddings usually start with the ceremony. However, you can mix things up by having a pre-cocktail hour or greeting your guests first. You could even have a sunrise ceremony privately with a small group of people and then a larger reception later in the day.

Budget Extra Time for Transitions

Weddings rarely stay on schedule, so it's important to budget extra time for transitions between activities. This will help keep the day running smoothly and give you more time to relax and enjoy the moment.

Permits

Obtaining a Permit

Firstly, it is essential to obtain a permit for any wedding, regardless of its size. The GGNRA's special events staff will assist you in planning your wedding, securing the necessary permits, and collecting any associated fees. They can be contacted at (415) 561-4374 or via email at [email protected]. While some restrictions may align with your plans, it is worth asking about exceptions and being creative with your suggestions.

Wedding Size and Duration

Larger weddings and weddings at specific locations will incur extra administrative fees to cover staff time. It's important to note that GGNRA weddings are limited to a duration of three hours, including setup and cleanup time. You are responsible for bringing in and removing all your equipment and decorations, and any mess left behind will result in additional cleanup charges of $85 per hour per worker.

Transportation and Parking

Transportation options are limited within the GGNRA. Vehicles, including golf carts, horse-drawn carriages, and motorcycles, are typically not permitted. However, it is worth inquiring about your specific site to see if there are any exceptions. Parking is also limited, and you cannot reserve or block off parking spaces. Consider renting shuttle buses to transport your guests to the wedding location.

Decorations and Signage

Most GGNRA wedding spots prohibit decorations of any kind, and some even ban bringing in items like canopies, chairs, or runners. Nature is intended to provide the backdrop for your celebration. Additionally, you are not allowed to put up signs or tie balloons to trees to direct guests to the wedding location.

Music and Entertainment

Acoustic music is generally approved at most locations, but the use of microphones, amplifiers, and speakers is typically prohibited to maintain the peaceful atmosphere for other park visitors. However, you may be allowed to bring a boom box for the wedding march, or discuss other creative ideas with the special events staff.

Receptions

Traditional wedding receptions are not permitted at many GGNRA spots. Instead, a family picnic-style reception in a designated picnic area may be a more suitable option.

Alcohol

Alcohol is permitted at many sites, but prior approval from the park service is required. Plastic containers are mandatory, and all trash, including glass, must be removed from the premises after the event.

Fire Hazards and Environmental Concerns

Anything involving fire, such as candles, fireworks, or tiki torches, is strictly prohibited in the GGNRA due to the risk of wildfires. Additionally, the release of balloons, doves, or butterflies and the throwing of rice, birdseed, or flower petals are not allowed to protect the natural environment.

Timing and Location Availability

Weddings cannot be held during busy travel seasons, including holidays and the period from March 15 to October 15. However, if your chosen spot hasn't been too busy, you may still be able to obtain permission. Popular wedding spots within the GGNRA include Battery Rathbone-McIndoe, Crissy Field, Fort Barry Parade Grounds, Fort Mason Great Meadow, Hawk Hill, and Point Bonita Lighthouse.

Frequently asked questions