Engaging Soon After A Friend: Good Or Bad Idea?

Getting engaged is an exciting time for any couple, but what if you're planning to do it right after your friend's wedding? Is it considered rude to steal their thunder, or can you share the joy? Some people believe that it's essential to wait at least a month before or after the couple's wedding to announce your engagement. This allows the newlyweds' spotlight to remain on them and gives your news its own moment to shine. However, others argue that living your life isn't rude, and as long as you don't propose during the wedding events, a close engagement shouldn't be an issue. So, what's the verdict? It seems that while there's no one-size-fits-all answer, being considerate of the couple's feelings and avoiding their special events for your proposal are good guidelines to follow. After all, you'll want your moment to be special too!

It's generally considered rude to get engaged at a friend's wedding

Proposing at someone else's wedding is considered "stealing their thunder". It is the couple's special day, and it is important to respect that. Even if you have the couple's permission, as in the case of the Iowa couple mentioned in one source, you may still be heavily criticised for it. The Iowa couple was "ripped apart online" and "massacred on the Internet" after their mid-toast engagement proposal went viral on Reddit.

It is also worth considering that, even if the couple and guests seem happy for you at the time, they may regret giving you the go-ahead later on. As William Hanson, a world-leading etiquette expert, says: "It's awfully, terribly un-British this competitiveness that we are now getting with proposing, that we all have to top our friends. And the groom, if we're being traditionalist and the groom is the one proposing, is having to compete with everybody else."

If you are eager to propose around the time of a friend's wedding, it is probably best to wait until after the wedding celebrations are over. This will ensure that your friends can fully enjoy their special day without feeling like the spotlight has been taken from them. As one source says: "You really want your engagement to stand out and not be tied to your loved ones' wedding day."

If you get engaged around the same time as a friend, it's best to wait at least a month before announcing it

It is important to remember that getting engaged is an exciting time for you and your partner, and you should savour it. However, if you have loved ones such as close friends who are also recently engaged or soon to be married, it is understandable that you may feel unsure about when to announce your engagement.

Firstly, it is generally advised that you do not announce your engagement at any of your loved one's wedding-related events, such as their wedding shower, bachelorette party, or engagement party. This is because a wedding is supposed to be about the couple, and it is important that you do not take away from their special day.

If you are eager to announce your engagement, wedding planner Brittany Bauer recommends doing so a month before or a month after your friend's wedding. This is because "a month before a wedding is enough to buffer the anticipation and build-up of the wedding day", and "a month after is more than enough time to allow for the 'confetti to settle'". This will ensure that your engagement stands out and is not tied to your loved one's wedding day.

It is also a good idea to chat with your loved ones about their thoughts on the matter. It can be upsetting for some people when others announce their engagement shortly after theirs, so it is important to consider their feelings. If you are unsure, you can ask the couple about their plans for announcing their engagement on social media, to ensure that you do not do so simultaneously. Remember, your announcement is about your milestone, so try not to reference their engagement or upcoming wedding.

Overall, it is best to approach the situation with grace, maturity, flexibility, and communication. Be open and flexible, and focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot.

Avoid announcing your engagement at your loved one's special events

While there is no precise time considered best to announce your engagement, it is advisable to avoid doing so at your loved one's special events. This includes wedding-related events such as bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and engagement parties. It is recommended to wait at least a month before or after the couple's wedding to announce your engagement, allowing their special day to remain the focus of attention and giving your announcement its own spotlight.

It is essential to respect the couple's feelings and avoid stealing their thunder. By waiting a month, you ensure that the anticipation and build-up for the couple's wedding remain intact, and you provide sufficient time for the excitement from their wedding to settle before introducing your news. This approach ensures that your engagement stands out and is not tied to someone else's special day.

Additionally, it is advisable to communicate with the couple about their plans for announcing their engagement on social media. This proactive step ensures that your announcement does not overlap with theirs, allowing both milestones to shine independently. It is also recommended to avoid referencing the other couple's engagement or wedding in your announcement, as your special moment deserves its own recognition.

While it may be tempting to share your happiness with those around you, it is important to be mindful of the couple's feelings and respect their special events. By waiting and communicating openly, you can navigate this situation gracefully and maintain healthy relationships with your loved ones. Remember, your engagement is a significant milestone, and it deserves its own dedicated celebration and recognition.

Have an open conversation with the couple about their timeline, plans, guest list, etc. to avoid overlap

When it comes to getting engaged around the same time as a friend's wedding, it's important to navigate the situation with sensitivity and grace. Here are some detailed guidelines on having open conversations with the couple to avoid any overlap or conflict:

Timing and Plans

Firstly, it is essential to respect the couple's timeline and plans for their wedding. Discuss with them when they intend to announce their engagement on social media platforms if they haven't already done so. This information will help you avoid making your announcement simultaneously and ensure that both milestones receive their own spotlight. It's also advisable to wait at least a month before or after their wedding to announce your engagement, allowing their special day to stand out and giving enough time for the excitement to build up or settle down.

Guest List Management

When it comes to guest lists, be mindful of mutual guests who will be invited to both celebrations. By having an open conversation with the couple, you can avoid overbooking these guests with multiple events such as wedding showers and engagement parties. This discussion will also help you identify any potential scheduling conflicts and ensure that your guest list is well-managed.

Aesthetics and Desires

In addition to timing and guest lists, it's beneficial to understand the couple's aesthetic vision and any specific desires they have for their wedding. This knowledge will help you avoid any unintentional overlap in themes, colours, or other creative elements. Remember, every couple wants their wedding to feel unique and personalised, so being aware of their plans can help you make informed decisions about your special day.

Collaborative Planning

Consider taking your conversation a step further by planning collaboratively with the couple. This can be done by organising joint events, such as an 'addressing save the date' party or a girls' night out to discuss wedding planning. Not only will this foster a sense of camaraderie, but it will also help you both navigate the complexities of planning one of the happiest times of your lives simultaneously.

Flexibility and Cheerleading

Lastly, remember to approach this situation with flexibility and maturity. Focus on what you can do rather than what you can't, and be open to adjusting your plans if necessary. Cheer each other on and respect each other's desires, even if they don't align with your own. This mutual support will strengthen your bond and ensure that both weddings are celebrated without any feelings of competition or jealousy.

Be flexible and collaborative when planning your wedding

Planning a wedding can be a stressful experience, especially if you're working with another couple who are also planning their big day. Here are some tips to help you be flexible and collaborative throughout the process:

Be mindful of timing

While there's no precise rule about when to announce your engagement, it's generally advised to wait at least a month before or after your loved one's wedding. This gives their day enough breathing space and ensures your news stands out. If you're unsure, it's always best to have an open conversation with the couple about their timeline and plans to avoid any overlap.

Avoid special events

Never announce your engagement at a loved one's wedding-related event, such as a wedding shower, bachelorette party, or engagement party. The week of and the week after these events should also be avoided so the couple can have their well-deserved spotlight.

Plan collaboratively

Take your planning a step further by working together with the other couple. Host an 'addressing save the date' party or a girls' night out to talk about all things wedding-related. This approach can help you avoid overbooking mutual guests and reduce the risk of scheduling conflicts.

Be open and flexible

Being flexible is crucial when navigating dual engagement situations. Instead of focusing on what you can't do due to potential conflicts, shift your attention to the possibilities that are available to you.

Maintain open lines of communication

Keep the lines of communication open with the other couple and be transparent about your thoughts and plans for your special day. This is the most effective way to plan all your wedding-related events while avoiding conflicts.

Be supportive

Remember, you're not just planning your wedding; you're also celebrating one of the happiest times in your life alongside a loved one. Lean into this commonality and work together to make the planning process a positive and collaborative experience.

By following these tips, you can ensure that you're being flexible and collaborative while planning your wedding, making the experience more enjoyable for everyone involved.

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