A Non-Indian's Dream Of An Indian Wedding

Indian weddings are a vibrant, joyous celebration of love, culture, and tradition. They are steeped in rich rituals and extravagant customs. If you're a non-Indian person who has been invited to one, you might be wondering what to expect and what to wear. It's important to embrace the vibrant spirit of the occasion while being mindful of cultural customs and sensitivities.

Indian weddings often consist of multiple ceremonies and celebrations, such as the Mehndi ceremony (henna application), Sangeet (music and dance), Baraat (groom's procession), the wedding ceremony, and the reception. The dress code varies for each event, so it's essential to pay attention to the invitation and understand which events you are invited to.

For pre-wedding events like the Mehndi ceremony and Sangeet, guests can opt for colourful and vibrant attire, with women wearing sarees, lehengas, or semi-formal Western outfits. For the wedding ceremony, which is a formal and sacred event, traditional Indian attire is recommended, such as sarees, lehengas, or salwar kameez for women, and sherwanis or kurta pyjamas for men. The reception is typically more relaxed, similar to a Western wedding reception, where guests can showcase their personal style with a semi-formal dress code.

While it's not mandatory, many non-Indian guests choose to wear traditional Indian attire as a way to celebrate and embrace the culture. It's important to be mindful of cultural sensitivity and respect, avoiding cultural appropriation and following certain etiquette guidelines. Overall, the key is to strike a balance between comfort, style, and cultural appropriateness while enjoying the unique and festive atmosphere of an Indian wedding.

What to wear to an Indian wedding as a non-Indian person

Indian weddings are a vibrant, festive affair, steeped in tradition. If you've been invited to one, you might be wondering what to wear, especially if you're not Indian. Here are some tips to help you navigate the cultural nuances with respect and style.

Choosing the Right Outfit

You can choose to wear traditional Indian attire or modest Western outfits. Traditional Indian clothing for women includes sarees, lehengas, and salwar kameez. For men, the go-to traditional garment is the sherwani, usually worn with trousers. If traditional clothing isn't your style, you can opt for Western attire with a few cultural nuances in mind.

Colours

Bright colours like pink, yellow, orange, green, and blue are encouraged. Daytime events can call for softer pastels, while evening receptions are perfect for rich jewel tones like emerald green, royal blue, and deep maroon. There are a few colours that are best avoided: white (associated with mourning in many parts of India), black (considered inauspicious), and red (traditionally worn by the bride).

Modesty

In line with cultural norms, it's important to dress modestly, especially during religious ceremonies. For women, it's recommended to cover the shoulders, legs, and arms. Long dresses or pantsuits are ideal. For men, long-sleeved shirts and trousers are appropriate.

Accessories

No Indian wedding outfit is complete without accessories! Jewellery is a must, especially bangles. Go for bold, bright pieces to complement your outfit. Men can accessorise with a turban or headpiece, and gold or silver bracelets.

Footwear

Indian weddings involve a lot of movement, so comfortable yet stylish footwear is key. Opt for stylish flats, sandals, or block heels. Men should go for closed-toe formal shoes, avoiding overly casual footwear like sneakers.

Specific Wedding Ceremonies

The dress code can vary for each ceremony, so it's important to check the invitation. The wedding ceremony is the most formal part, and women may need to cover their heads if it takes place in a Sikh or Hindu temple. The reception is more relaxed, so you can be a bit more playful with your outfit.

Cultural Sensitivity

When attending an Indian wedding as a non-Indian person, it's important to be mindful of cultural sensitivity. Avoid cultural appropriation and respect the significance of traditional attire and accessories. Seek guidance from the couple or close friends if you're unsure about the dress code or customs.

Traditions and rituals of an Indian wedding

Indian weddings are steeped in rich traditions and rituals that vary depending on region, religion, and individual preferences. Here are some of the common ceremonies and the traditions and rituals associated with them:

Mehndi Ceremony

The Mehndi ceremony, also known as the henna application ceremony, is a festive event usually held one to two days before the wedding. Guests are encouraged to wear colourful and vibrant attire, avoiding casual clothing like ripped jeans. This ceremony is not just for the bride, and guests are welcome to get Mehndi or henna tattoos as well.

Sangeet

The Sangeet is a celebration filled with music, dancing, and entertainment. It is often described as a "family talent show" with choreographed dances and songs performed for the bride and groom. Guests can wear Indian or Western semi-formal attire. Women can opt for cocktail dresses, Indo-Western fusion outfits, or sarees, while men can choose suits, blazers with trousers, or traditional kurtas.

Baraat

The Baraat is the groom's procession, where he arrives at the wedding venue with his family and friends, dancing and celebrating. Traditionally, the groom rides a white horse, but modern variations may include other modes of transport like a Tesla!

Wedding Ceremony

The wedding ceremony is the most formal part of the wedding and is considered sacred. It can take place in a temple, under a traditional canopy, or in a Sikh or Hindu temple, in which case, women may be required to cover their heads. The ceremony includes several rituals and prayers and can last up to two hours. One fun ritual is the ring game, where the priest drops a ring into a bowl of water, and whoever finds it first is said to have the upper hand in the marriage. Another ritual is the "seven steps," where the bride and groom take seven steps together, each step representing a wedding vow.

Reception

The reception is usually more relaxed and similar to a Western wedding reception. Guests can wear cocktail dresses or stylish gowns, avoiding white, red, and black. Men can wear suits or tuxedos.

Traditions and Rituals Across Ceremonies

• Indian weddings are known for their vibrant colours, so guests are encouraged to wear bright, festive colours like pink, yellow, orange, green, and blue, which symbolise happiness and prosperity.
• Modesty is important in Indian wedding attire, especially during religious ceremonies. Women should cover their shoulders and legs, and men should wear long-sleeved shirts and trousers.
• Accessories are a must! Jewellery, bangles, earrings, necklaces, and for women, even a bindi, are common. Men can accessorise with turbans or headpieces and gold or silver bracelets.
• Comfortable footwear is essential, as Indian weddings involve a lot of standing, walking, and dancing.
• It is considered respectful to avoid cultural appropriation by being mindful of the significance of traditional attire and accessories and respecting their cultural context.

The different ceremonies of an Indian wedding

Indian weddings are often a complex affair, with multiple ceremonies and celebrations, each with its own unique significance. Here is a comprehensive guide to the different ceremonies that take place during an Indian wedding:

Pre-Wedding Ceremonies

Engagement

The engagement ceremony is a crucial step in an Indian wedding process, serving as an agreement between the families of the future bride and groom. During this intimate event, the fathers of the soon-to-be-married couple praise their children's virtues and make a formal wedding announcement. The couple then exchanges rings to solidify their engagement.

Tilak/Sagan Ceremony

The Tilak ceremony is considered the first step towards forging a bond between the two families. It usually takes place at the groom's residence, where the male members of the bride's family apply vermilion or Kumkum on his forehead. This ceremony is filled with music and dance, signifying the auspicious start of the wedding rituals.

Roka Ceremony

The Roka ceremony is seen as the first official step towards marriage, where the families of the bride and groom gather for the first time. They exchange sweets, gifts, and dry fruits, and sometimes a priest performs a puja to bless the union.

Mehendi Ceremony

The Mehendi ceremony is a joyous and colourful event where henna is applied to the bride's hands and feet, and sometimes to the groom as well. Female guests may also choose to have Mehendi art done on their hands. This ceremony is accompanied by singing, dancing, and traditional music played on instruments like the dholak.

Sangeet

The Sangeet is a fun-filled, vibrant celebration that has become an integral part of Indian weddings across the country. It is an opportunity for relatives and friends of both the bride and groom to come together, play instruments, dance, sing, and interact. The bride's family hosts this event, which also serves as an introduction of the two families to each other.

Wedding Ceremonies

Ganesh Puja (Mandap Muhurat & Pithi)

The Ganesh Puja is often the first ceremony of the wedding festivities, usually performed at home with only the couple, the bridal party, and close relatives in attendance. A priest offers prayers to Lord Ganesh, seeking his blessings for a harmonious and auspicious start to the wedding rituals.

Grah Shanti (Sathak/Mandvo or Mameru)

The Grah Shanti ceremony is another essential ritual performed before the main wedding ceremony. It involves invoking blessings for peace and harmony during the wedding and the couple's married life.

Baraat

The Baraat is the groom's procession, where he is escorted to the wedding venue by his family and friends in a joyous and festive atmosphere. The groom traditionally rides a white horse, and the procession is filled with singing, dancing, and traditional well-wishes.

Jaan

The Jaan ceremony is a significant part of the wedding procession, where the bride and her family greet the groom and his entourage. The couple then exchange floral garlands, known as Milni Malas, symbolising their acceptance of each other.

Kanya Aagman

The Kanya Aagman ceremony marks the arrival of the bride and is a pivotal moment in the wedding rituals. It is during this ceremony that the bride makes her grand entrance, often escorted by her maternal uncle or brother.

Kanya Daan

The Kanya Daan is an emotional ritual where the bride's parents give her away to the groom. This ceremony symbolises the passing of the bride's care and responsibility from her parents to her husband.

Mangalphera

The Mangalphera is a sacred ritual where the bride and groom join hands and circle the sacred fire, known as Agni, four times. Each revolution around the fire represents a major goal in life: Dharma, Artha, Kama, and Moksha.

Saptapadi

The Saptapadi is a crucial part of the wedding ceremony, where the couple takes seven steps together, vowing to support each other and live harmoniously. With each step, the priest offers blessings for abundance, prosperity, happiness, children, and friendship.

Sindur & Mangal Sutra

The Sindur ceremony is when the groom applies a red powder to the centre of the bride's forehead, symbolising that she is now a married woman. The Mangal Sutra ceremony involves the groom gifting the bride a necklace made of gold and black beads, sometimes with diamonds, further cementing their union.

Akhand Saubhagyavati

The Akhand Saubhagyavati ceremony is a beautiful tradition where married women bless the newlywed couple. They offer their well-wishes for a happy and prosperous married life, showering the couple with flowers.

Post-Wedding Ceremonies

Vidaai

The Vidaai is an emotional ceremony that marks the completion of the wedding rituals. The bride bids farewell to her family, throwing back handfuls of rice to signify wealth and prosperity. Her brothers and cousins push the car she departs in, symbolising their support for her new life with her husband.

Aashirwad

The Aashirwad ceremony is a soulful event where the bride and groom receive blessings from the elderly members of their families and well-wishers. The couple touches the feet of their elders, and gifts of sweets, fruits, and jewellery are exchanged.

Griha Pravesh

The Griha Pravesh ceremony is a traditional welcome for the new bride into the groom's home. She is asked to push a jar or kalash filled with rice with her right toe to enter the house, symbolising her acceptance into the family.

Mooh Dikhai

The Mooh Dikhai ceremony is a post-wedding ritual where the new bride is introduced to the groom's family and relatives. The ladies unveil the bride's face and shower her with gifts, with the mother-in-law taking centre stage in welcoming her new daughter-in-law.

Pag Phera

The Pag Phera ceremony is observed when the bride returns to her parental home after the wedding. She stays there for a few days, and then the groom comes to seek blessings from her parents before taking his bride back to his house.

How to be respectful at an Indian wedding

Indian weddings are a grand affair, steeped in rich traditions and rituals. As a guest, it is important to be mindful of cultural customs and sensitivities to ensure you are respectful throughout the celebrations. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate the festivities respectfully:

Dress Code

Indian weddings often have specific dress codes for different events, so it is advisable to check the invitation or consult with the couple or close friends for specific information. Traditional Indian attire, such as a saree, lehenga, or salwar kameez for women, and a kurta or sherwani for men, is commonly worn. However, if the dress code is not specified, a blend of Indian and Western semi-formal attire is generally acceptable. It is important to avoid wearing black, white, or red, as these colours have specific cultural associations and are usually worn by the bride.

Cultural Sensitivity

Indian weddings are a celebration of culture and tradition. As a guest, it is important to be mindful of cultural appropriation and respect the significance of traditional attire and accessories. Avoid caricaturing or trivialising elements of Indian culture. If you are unsure about any customs or rituals, don't hesitate to reach out to the couple or their close friends for guidance.

Religious Customs

Indian weddings often include religious rituals, and it is important to show respect during these sacred moments. Remain quiet and attentive during these ceremonies, following the lead of others and observing any instructions given by the wedding hosts. In some cases, women may be required to cover their heads during religious ceremonies, so bringing a scarf or shawl is advisable.

Gifts

Gift-giving is a common tradition at Indian weddings, and silver and monetary offerings are considered auspicious. Silver symbolises fortune and is considered a sign of good wishes for the couple. Monetary gifts are also customary, with amounts ending in the digit one, symbolising an additional debt that binds the giver and the recipient.

Food and Drink

Indian weddings are known for their diverse and delicious cuisine. It is important to appreciate the food and avoid criticising it. Additionally, while alcohol may be served, it is important to drink in moderation, as only a small portion of India's population consumes alcohol.

Timeliness

Indian weddings often span multiple days and include various ceremonies and rituals. It is important to clear your schedule and arrive on time, especially for the wedding ceremony, to ensure you don't miss any of the celebrations.

Footwear

Indian weddings involve long hours of standing and walking, so comfortable footwear is a must. Stylish yet practical options such as flats or block heels are recommended for women, while men should opt for closed-toe shoes that are formal yet comfortable.

Photography

While it is tempting to capture every moment of the vibrant and colourful celebrations, it is important to be mindful of the use of cameras, especially during solemn religious rites. The flashing and clicking of cameras can be disruptive and may be considered disrespectful.

Interpersonal Respect

Indian culture places a strong emphasis on group identity and interpersonal respect. It is customary to greet elders respectfully, addressing them as "Aunty" or "Uncle", or "Mr." or "Mrs.". A respectful greeting, such as a ""Namaste" combined with a nod or bow, is also appropriate.

By following these guidelines and being mindful of cultural traditions and sensitivities, you can fully embrace and enjoy the unique and vibrant experience of attending an Indian wedding.

The food at an Indian wedding

Indian weddings are known for their lavish and decadent food offerings, with an emphasis on rich, fried foods, butter, sugar, and creamy curries. The food is often used as a way to showcase wealth, with expensive and abundant dishes being served. Here's what you can expect from the food at an Indian wedding:

North Indian Hindu Weddings

North Indian Hindu weddings usually feature a Mughlai spread, which includes paneer, creamy curries, tandoori meat, and buttery naans. Meat dishes like butter chicken and lamb curry are also commonly served. These weddings are not for the faint-hearted—or those on a diet!

Coastal Hindu Weddings

Coastal Hindu weddings, such as those held in Goa or Fiji, typically include crab and fish curries, reflecting the local cuisine.

South Indian Hindu Weddings

South Indian Hindu weddings are usually completely vegetarian and offer an extensive selection of rice dishes, such as lemon rice and curd rice, as well as dal, sabzi, dosa, and idlis. One unique feature is that guests eat with their hands, using banana leaves as plates. This style of eating is customary and adds to the festive atmosphere.

Desserts

No matter the region, Indian weddings are known for their assortment of mouth-watering desserts. Halva, particularly moong dal halva, is a universal favourite. Other treats include barfi, ladoos, kheer, gulab jamun, rasmalai, and jalebi. Modern Hindu weddings may also feature Western-style cakes and pastries, such as macarons, with an Indian twist, like a mehndi or chai-infused cake.

Live Food Stations

A unique aspect of Indian weddings is the inclusion of live food stations, which add to the festive atmosphere. These can include anything from fancy ice cream parlours using liquid nitrogen to create ice cream to tandoori and barbecue counters, herbal hookah corners, and even paan stations, where guests can enjoy different types of flavoured paan, or betel leaf.

Drinks

While some Indian weddings may not serve alcohol, there is no shortage of delicious drinks on offer. Fresh fruit shakes and smoothies are popular, as well as mocktails and herbal hookah in various flavours.

In conclusion, the food at an Indian wedding is a celebration in itself, with an array of rich, decadent, and colourful dishes that reflect the region's cultural and culinary traditions. It is a true feast for the senses and an integral part of the wedding experience.

Frequently asked questions