Bringing A Date To A Wedding: What You Need To Know

One of the most common problems encountered when planning a wedding is the issue of plus ones. A plus one is a guest of a guest, usually a partner or a date. While it's nice to allow your guests to bring someone, if every guest is allowed a plus one, your wedding guest list will soon double in size. This can be a problem if you have a limited budget and seating. It's best to have a blanket rule for plus ones: either every guest is allowed to bring a date, or no one is. This avoids any potential drama or hurt feelings between wedding guests. If you don't have the space or the budget, you'll need to break the news to your guests that they can't bring a date.

Can I bring a plus one?

This is a delicate question, and it's important to be clear and consistent in your response to avoid any potential drama or hurt feelings between guests. It's usually best to have a blanket rule: either every guest is allowed to bring a plus one, or no one is.

If you're happy for guests to bring a plus one, make this clear on your wedding website and invitations. You could say something like: "Mr John Smith plus Guest".

If you're not allowing plus ones, it's still important to be clear about this from the outset. You could say something like: "We have reserved one seat in your honour". You can also mention this in casual conversation when discussing your wedding plans with friends and family. Explaining your reasons (financial limitations, space, etc.) can help to soften the message.

• Address your wedding invitations correctly. When writing your guests' names on the envelopes, make it clear who is invited. If plus ones are allowed, the invitation will read "Mr John Smith plus Guest". If not, the invitation will simply say "Mr John Smith".
• Make it clear on the RSVP card. You could write something like: "We have reserved [number] seat(s) in your honour".
• Add a FAQ to your wedding website. You could say something like: "Unfortunately, due to budget and space limitations, we simply can’t afford for all of our lovely guests to bring a guest of their own. Therefore, we respectfully ask that guests do not bring a plus one, unless they are specifically named on the invitation. Thank you so much for understanding!"

Remember, it's your wedding, and you don't owe anyone an explanation for not allowing plus ones. However, explaining your reasoning might help your guests to understand and not be offended.

What if I want to bring a friend?

We completely understand that you may want to bring a friend to the wedding, especially if you don't know many people or are travelling a long way to be with us. However, we have a strict guest list to stay on budget and within the venue's capacity. We will only be able to accommodate those listed on your wedding invitation.

If you are travelling a long way and would like to bring a friend, we recommend getting in touch with us directly. We may be able to accommodate your request, especially if you are happy for your friend to join us for the evening reception only.

If you are unable to bring a friend, we are happy to introduce you to other guests on the day. We want you to have a great time and meet new people!

Are there exceptions for long-term partners?

We understand that there may be special circumstances where you would like to bring a long-term partner who has not been invited to the wedding. We kindly ask that only guests named on the invitation attend. Our venue has strict capacity limitations, and we want to ensure that all named guests are able to attend and are comfortable.

If your partner was not included on the invitation, we ask that you respect our wishes and come alone. We are happy to discuss this further with you if you have any questions or concerns.

If you are unsure whether your long-term partner is invited, please refer to the name(s) on the invitation and RSVP card. We have tried to make it clear who is invited by addressing the invitation to specific individuals. If your partner's name is not included, we kindly ask that they do not attend.

We understand that this may be disappointing for some, but we ask for your understanding and cooperation. Our venue has limited space, and we want to ensure that all named guests are able to attend and enjoy the celebration comfortably. Thank you for your support and understanding.

How do I address my RSVP?

When addressing your RSVP, it is important to be clear and concise to avoid any confusion for your guests. Here are some tips to help you address your RSVPs effectively:

Be Clear About the Number of Guests

When inviting guests, it is essential to specify the number of people invited to avoid misunderstandings. On the outer and inner envelopes of your invitations, write the names of the invited guests, leaving no room for ambiguity. For example, addressing it to "Mr and Mrs John and Sarah Smith" indicates that only the named couple is invited. If children are not invited, specify the names of the adult guests only.

Specify the Number of Reserved Seats

On your RSVP card, clearly state the number of seats that have been reserved for each guest or household. You can write, "We have reserved ____ seat(s) in your honour". This will help your guests understand that they cannot bring additional people.

Include a FAQ Section on Your Wedding Website

A wedding website is an excellent way to share additional information that may not fit on the invitation. Create an FAQ section to address common questions, such as "Can I bring a date?" or "Are plus ones allowed?". Be honest and polite in your responses, explaining any budget or space limitations. For example, you can say, "Unfortunately, due to budget and space constraints, we cannot accommodate additional guests. We kindly request that only those named on the invitation attend."

Provide an Online RSVP Option

Consider including an online RSVP option on your wedding website to make it convenient for your guests to respond. Provide a direct link to the RSVP page and specify the deadline for responses. This will help you keep track of your guest list and make it easier for your guests to respond promptly.

Be Consistent with Your Guest List Rules

It is generally best to have a consistent rule for all guests regarding plus ones. Either allow everyone to bring a date or limit it to none. This will help avoid any potential drama or hurt feelings among your guests. If you choose to allow plus ones, be clear about who is considered a plus one, such as partners or long-term partners.

Inform Guests in Advance

Before sending out invitations, you can casually mention the "no plus ones" rule during conversations about your wedding plans. Explain any budget or space constraints to help your guests understand your decision. This way, they are less likely to be surprised or disappointed when they receive their invitations.

What if I want to bring my children?

Deciding whether or not to allow children at your wedding is a difficult decision. While some people believe that children add a certain magic to the atmosphere, others feel that they can be a distraction and increase costs.

If you want to bring your children to a wedding, it is important to first check if children are invited. The best way to do this is to look at the wedding invitation and see if it includes the names of your children. If it only includes your name, it is likely that children are not invited.

If you are unsure, you can also check the wedding website, as many couples now include an FAQ page that addresses questions such as whether children are allowed. The couple may also include details about food options, children's activities, and babysitting services if children are invited.

If there is still no clear indication of whether children are invited, it is best to politely ask the couple directly. They may have simply forgotten to include the names of your children on the invitation, or they may have a strict no-children policy. In any case, it is always better to ask beforehand than to assume and show up with your children.

If you are the couple getting married and you want to allow children at your wedding, there are a few things you should keep in mind. Firstly, make sure to include the names of any invited children on the wedding invitation, as parents often assume that their children are not invited if their names are not specified. You should also consider the additional costs of having children at your wedding, such as providing a separate children's menu or hiring a babysitter or children's entertainer.

On the other hand, if you do not want children at your wedding, it is important to be clear about this from the outset. You can include a note on your wedding website or invitation, such as "We love your children, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under a certain age."

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to allow children at your wedding is a personal one, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner.

Frequently asked questions