Wedding Rsvp Etiquette: Shoe Size Requests

Wedding RSVPs are a crucial part of the planning process, helping couples and vendors prepare for the big day. While the primary purpose of an RSVP card is to confirm attendance, couples may also use them to collect additional information from their guests. This includes dietary restrictions, song requests, and even shoe sizes, if the couple so wishes. However, it is essential to strike a balance between gathering necessary details and maintaining a simple, easy-to-read card design.

Asking for shoe size on an RSVP card is non-traditional and may be considered rude

Asking for a guest's shoe size on an RSVP card is certainly non-traditional and may be considered rude by some. While it is important to get an accurate headcount for your wedding, there are other ways to go about doing this.

RSVP cards are typically used to confirm attendance, finalise seating arrangements, and collect dietary restrictions or other necessary information. Asking for a guest's shoe size may be seen as an unnecessary invasion of privacy and could potentially make your guests feel uncomfortable. It is essential to consider your guests' comfort and respect their boundaries when planning your wedding.

If you are concerned about having enough information to prepare for your wedding, there are alternative ways to gather the details you need. You could include a line on the RSVP card for guests to write their names, ensuring you know who is attending and can correctly spell their names for any seating charts or place cards. You can also utilise your wedding website to collect additional information, such as dietary restrictions or song requests, without adding extra questions to the RSVP card.

It is worth noting that some guests may find any request for information beyond their attendance and dietary needs to be excessive or intrusive. It is important to strike a balance between collecting necessary information and respecting your guests' privacy.

If you are set on asking for shoe sizes, it may be more appropriate to include this request on a separate card or through a different means of communication, such as a phone call or email, to avoid causing potential offence.

RSVP cards are usually small, ranging from 3 x 5 inches to 4.25 x 6 inches

For a traditional wedding, RSVP cards are often printed in postcard size. Postcards can be printed vertically or horizontally, so be sure to speak to your designer about what looks best with the rest of your stationery. Most postcards are 3.5 x 5 inches but are never more than 4.25 x 6 inches.

If you need to gather more information from your guests, you might opt for a larger RSVP card. A 4.25 x 5.5-inch card is a good option for destination weddings, as you can ask your guests about their travel plans and accommodation requirements.

When choosing your RSVP card size, consider the overall size of your wedding. For a small, intimate wedding, small stationery is probably best. On the other hand, if you're planning a grand ballroom reception, you might want to go for larger and more embellished designs.

The size of your RSVP card should also complement the size of your invitation. It should stand out but not overpower the other stationery in your wedding invitation suite. You can scale the RSVP card size to the invitation, or opt for a different shape, such as a square or rectangle, to create a unique look.

Additionally, the number of names you want to include in the host line and any additional details you wish to share can influence your choice of RSVP card size. A petite, square, or all-in-one invitation may have limited space, so consider a larger card if you have a lot of information to include.

Finally, your budget may also be a factor in deciding the size of your RSVP cards. Larger and more complex invitation suites with multiple elements will likely be more expensive.

It is common to give guests 3-4 weeks to respond to an RSVP

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most important aspects is ensuring that you have an accurate headcount for your big day. This is where RSVP cards come in—they are a polite way of asking your guests to let you know whether they will be attending your wedding or not. While including an RSVP card in your wedding invitation suite is optional, it is highly recommended as it helps you organise the seating chart, menu and music playlist for your wedding.

So, how much time should you give your guests to respond to your RSVP? It is common to give guests 3–4 weeks to respond to an RSVP. This timeframe allows your guests enough time to plan and respond, while also giving you and your vendors sufficient time to finalise the last-minute details that depend on the total guest count, such as the amount of food and drinks needed and the seating arrangements.

• Include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped return envelope within your invitation suite.
• Provide options for RSVPing, such as digitally through your wedding website or by mail.
• Choose clear and direct wording for your RSVP card. For example, "The favour of your reply is requested by [insert date]" instead of just "RSVP".
• Add a special request line on your RSVP cards, such as song requests or a favourite memory of the couple, to make it more engaging for your guests.
• For destination weddings, give your guests more time to respond by setting the RSVP deadline 2 months before the wedding and sending out invitations 4 months in advance.
• Make the RSVP date clear by using a legible font on the card and including a countdown ticker on your wedding website if applicable.

RSVP cards can be formal, casual, or funny in tone

RSVP cards are an important part of the wedding planning process, giving you an accurate headcount for your big day. They can be formal, casual, or funny in tone, depending on the style of your wedding and your personality.

Formal RSVP Cards

Formal RSVP cards typically follow traditional language and etiquette, with a sense of elegance and sophistication. They are ideal for black-tie affairs or if you prefer a timeless, classic approach. Here's an example:

> Kindly RSVP by [date] whether you will honor us with your presence at the celebration of our marriage. [Invitee Name(s)] ⃞ Joyfully accepts ⃞ Regretfully declines

Casual RSVP Cards

Casual RSVP cards have a relaxed and friendly tone, using everyday language. They are perfect for informal weddings or if you want your stationery to convey a laid-back vibe. Here's an example:

> We’re getting married! Can you make it to our celebration? Let us know by [date]! [Invitee Name(s)] ⃞ Count me in! ⃞ Apologies, can’t make it!

Funny RSVP Cards

Funny RSVP cards add a touch of humour and personality to your wedding invitations. They are a great way to entertain your guests while still conveying the necessary information. Here's an example:

> So, you’re coming to our wedding, right? Please confirm by [date]! [Invitee Name(s)] ⃞ Absolutely! ⃞ Will be there in spirit!

Regardless of the tone you choose, there are a few essential elements to include on your RSVP cards: a clear deadline for responses, a way for guests to indicate their attendance or decline, and any dietary restrictions or special requests. You may also want to include a line for guests to write their names and any additional notes or song requests.

It is considered rude to specify a dress code on an RSVP card, unless it is black-tie

When it comes to wedding RSVPs, it is important to strike a balance between gathering the information you need and maintaining good etiquette. While it is not customary to specify a dress code on an RSVP card, there is an exception for black-tie events. Here are some detailed guidelines to consider:

The Importance of RSVPs

First and foremost, it is essential to understand the purpose of RSVP cards. They are a critical part of your wedding stationery suite, providing an opportunity for guests to confirm their attendance and offer crucial details for planning. This includes not just the number of guests but also their dietary restrictions, song requests, and other special requests.

Navigating Dress Codes

Now, regarding dress codes, it is generally considered rude to specify a dress code on an RSVP card, unless it is a black-tie event. The rationale behind this etiquette rule is that the invitation itself, along with the venue and timing of the event, should provide guests with sufficient cues about the expected attire.

For instance, if your wedding is held in the evening at a formal venue, guests will likely infer that the dress code is more elegant than if it were an afternoon celebration in a casual setting. The level of formality conveyed by your invitations, including the cardstock, font, and wording, will also influence guests' attire choices.

When Black-Tie Specifications Are Appropriate

However, there is one notable exception to the rule against specifying dress codes: black-tie events. If you are hosting a black-tie wedding, it is entirely appropriate to indicate this on your RSVP cards. Black-tie events are characterised by a high level of formality, with men typically wearing tuxedos and women donning floor-length gowns.

A Note on Semi-Formal Attire

It is worth mentioning that semi-formal attire does not fall under the same specifications as black-tie. There are no hard and fast rules for semi-formal dress codes, and attempting to dictate this on your RSVP cards may be considered presumptuous. Trust that your guests will be able to discern the appropriate attire based on the overall tone and context of your wedding.

Alternative Ways to Convey Attire Expectations

If you are concerned about guests misunderstanding the dress code, there are alternative ways to convey your expectations without being explicit on the RSVP cards. Consider using more formal invitations with heavier cardstock, elegant fonts, and traditional wording. You can also include additional enclosures with your invitations, such as direction cards or reception cards, that subtly emphasise the formality of the event.

The Bottom Line

In conclusion, while it is generally considered rude to specify a dress code on an RSVP card, black-tie events are the exception to this rule. Remember, your guests want to celebrate with you, and they will likely appreciate clear cues about the expected attire through your invitations, venue, and timing of the event.

Frequently asked questions