Pre-Wedding Conversations: Should Couples Chat Before Tying The Knot?

The superstition that the bride and groom should not see each other before the wedding dates back to when marriages were arranged. It was considered bad luck for the couple to meet before the ceremony as people believed that the groom might call off the wedding if he found the bride unattractive. In modern times, this superstition has evolved into the romantic idea that couples should surprise each other with their wedding attire when they meet at the altar. While some couples still choose to follow this tradition, it is not a hard-and-fast rule, and many couples nowadays opt for a first look before the ceremony.

It is considered bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding

The superstition that it is bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding dates back to when marriages were arranged and were considered business deals between families. The bride's father would usually make the deal, with the hope that his daughter would marry into wealth and improve the family's status.

The couple often wouldn't meet until the wedding day, and the bride's family would worry that if the groom saw the bride before the ceremony, he might not find her attractive and could call off the wedding—leading to serious shame for the bride and her family. The veil also played a part in this tradition, as it covered the bride's face until the last moment, ensuring the groom couldn't back out.

Today, this superstition is less common, as couples often choose to see each other before the ceremony with a "first look". This moment allows couples to connect and appreciate each other before walking down the aisle. However, some couples still choose to save that special moment for the actual wedding ceremony. Ultimately, whether or not the bride and groom see each other before the wedding is a personal choice and should be decided based on what feels right for the couple.

Couples may choose to communicate via handwritten letters or text messages

The tradition of the bride and groom not communicating before the wedding dates back to when marriages were arranged. It was considered bad luck for the couple to meet before the ceremony, as it was believed that the groom might call off the wedding if he found the bride unattractive. In modern times, this superstition has evolved into the idea that couples should keep their wedding attire a surprise until they meet at the altar.

While some couples still choose to follow this tradition, it is not a hard-and-fast rule. Many couples today opt for a "first look" moment before the ceremony, either in person or through an exchange of letters or text messages. Communicating via handwritten letters or text messages can be a romantic and meaningful way for couples to connect before their wedding.

Handwritten letters offer a classic and sentimental way to express emotions. Couples may choose to pen their thoughts, well-wishes, or even inside jokes to make their partner smile. Exchanging letters can be a special moment, allowing each person to reflect on their journey and anticipation for the future. These letters can also become cherished mementos, reminding the couple of their love and commitment.

Text messages, on the other hand, offer a more modern and immediate form of communication. Couples who are eager to connect or seeking last-minute reassurance can find solace in exchanging text messages. These messages can be simple and sweet, or they can be more detailed, providing support and calming nerves. Text messages also allow for quick coordination on the wedding day, ensuring that everything runs smoothly.

Whether through handwritten letters or text messages, the decision to communicate before the wedding is deeply personal. Some couples may prefer the anticipation of seeing each other at the altar, while others may find comfort and excitement in exchanging words before their nuptials. Ultimately, there are no set rules, and couples should choose what feels right for them.

The superstition dates back to when marriages were arranged

The superstition that the bride and groom should not see each other before the wedding dates back to when marriages were arranged. In this era, it was considered bad luck for the couple to meet before the ceremony, as it was believed that the groom might call off the wedding if he found the bride unattractive. This concern was particularly salient given that marriages were often arranged for business purposes, with little regard for romantic attraction.

The bride's father typically brokered the deal, aiming to marry his daughter to a wealthy family to benefit his own family financially. However, the fear that the groom might cancel the wedding if he saw the bride beforehand loomed large. To avoid this potential catastrophe, a tradition emerged of keeping the couple apart until the ceremony. The bride's veil also served the purpose of obscuring her face until the last possible moment, ensuring that the groom could not change his mind at the altar.

While arranged marriages are no longer the norm, the superstition has evolved into a more romantic notion that the couple should be surprised by each other's wedding attire when they meet at the altar. Some couples still choose to adhere to this tradition, while others opt for a more modern approach, such as arranging a first look before the ceremony to appreciate each other's outfits in a private setting. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not the bride and groom communicate or see each other before the wedding is a personal choice, with no right or wrong answer.

The groom and bride's families may worry that the groom will call off the wedding if he finds the bride unattractive

The superstition that the bride and groom should not see each other before the wedding dates back to when marriages were arranged. In this context, the groom's family would strike a deal with the bride's father, who would want his daughter to marry into wealth to benefit his family. The groom's family would worry that if he saw the bride before the wedding, he might not go through with the marriage if he didn't find her attractive, which would bring serious shame on the bride and her family.

To avoid this risk, a tradition emerged where the couple did not see each other until the ceremony. The bride's face would be veiled until the very last moment, ensuring the groom could not see her until it was too late to back out. This practice was born out of the desire to ensure the groom followed through with his commitment to marry, as these arrangements were often made for business purposes rather than love.

Today, this superstition has evolved into a more romantic notion that the couple should keep their wedding attire a surprise until they meet at the altar. While arranged marriages are no longer the norm, and couples now choose to make their weddings personal and unique, some still choose to adhere to this tradition, adding a touch of mystery and romance to their nuptials.

However, modern couples who don't want to follow this tradition have various alternatives to consider. One popular option is the "first look," where the couple sees each other privately before the ceremony, capturing an intimate moment without an audience. This can be a special way to appreciate each other's presence and emotions before walking down the aisle. Another alternative is a father-daughter first look, where the bride chooses not to see her spouse until the ceremony but shares a revealing moment with her father.

Some couples opt for a first touch or first look before the ceremony

The tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding dates back to when marriages were arranged. It was considered bad luck if the couple met before walking down the aisle, as it was believed that the groom might call off the wedding if he found the bride unattractive. However, this superstition has evolved, and today, many couples opt for a "first look" or a "first touch" before the ceremony.

A first look is when the couple sees each other privately for the first time before the ceremony, dressed in their wedding attire. This moment allows the couple to connect and calm their nerves before the celebrations start. It also provides an opportunity for intimate portraits, capturing the raw emotions of the couple as they admire each other. A first look can take place a couple of hours before the ceremony, giving the couple time to themselves and allowing them to take their formal portraits together.

A first touch is similar to a first look, but the couple does not see each other. They stand on opposite sides of a door or around a corner, holding hands, exchanging notes, or sharing a prayer. This option is perfect for couples who want to share a moment together while still saving the big reveal for the aisle. The first touch calms nerves, sparks excitement, and allows the couple to communicate privately before the ceremony.

Both the first look and the first touch offer benefits to couples who want to slow down and savour their wedding day. They provide an opportunity for intimate portraits, a chance to connect and calm nerves, and a private moment to cherish before the festivities begin.

Frequently asked questions