A Woman's Right: Choosing Her Own Wedding Band

Wedding traditions have evolved over the years, and while some people still adhere to customs, others are forging their own paths. In the past, the bride was expected to buy the groom's wedding ring, and the groom would buy the bride's. However, nowadays, there are no hard-and-fast rules, and couples are free to decide what works best for them. Some couples split the cost of their wedding rings, while others buy their own rings, and some even opt for ring tattoos instead. With engagement ring prices skyrocketing, more women are paying for all or part of their rings, whether to have the perfect ring or because they already share finances with their partner.

Wedding band costs

When it comes to the cost of wedding bands, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, the type of band and the number of members can impact the price. A solo musician can cost anywhere from £300 to £500 or more, while a 3-piece band can range from £900 to £1400 or more. The most popular wedding bands, featuring four or five musicians, typically cost between £1200 and £1800. For larger bands of six to eight pieces, prices can go up to £3000 or more.

The demand for the band and their level of experience can also affect pricing. In-demand and seasoned musicians will often come with a higher price tag. The location of the wedding can play a role, with bands in major cities typically costing more than those in smaller towns.

Special requests, such as learning a new song, will likely incur additional charges. Couples may also need to factor in travel expenses and accommodation for the band, especially if they are travelling a long distance.

In terms of budgeting, it's worth noting that a wedding band is generally more expensive than a wedding DJ. On average, couples spend around $4000 on a live wedding band, while a DJ costs about $1200 less.

Ultimately, the cost of wedding bands can vary widely depending on the specific circumstances and choices of the couple.

Traditions

Traditional Approach:

According to tradition, the bride (often with financial help from her family) purchases the groom's wedding ring, while the groom (or his family) pays for the bride's ring. This tradition stems from a time when women typically had fewer financial resources than men, so it made financial sense for the man to bear the cost of the rings.

Individualist Approach:

Some couples value their independence and prefer to shop for their own rings, using their own budgets. This approach may be chosen for financial reasons or because individuals want to ensure they get a ring they truly love. While this approach may reduce the element of surprise, it ensures both partners are happy with their choice of ring.

Mutual Gift-Giving Approach:

In this approach, the couple buys each other's wedding bands, a romantic gesture that symbolises their love and commitment. This tradition is quite straightforward and has a classic romantic aesthetic to it.

Family Involvement Approach:

In the past, it was common for families to get involved in purchasing wedding bands. For example, the bride's family might buy the groom's band, and vice versa. Alternatively, one family could buy the rings, while the other contributes to other wedding expenses.

Ring Shopping Together:

Some couples prefer to shop for their wedding rings together, ensuring they choose rings that match or complement each other. This approach makes sense from a practical standpoint and can help set a collaborative tone for their marriage.

While these traditions provide a framework, modern couples often adapt and blend them to suit their unique circumstances and preferences. Ultimately, the decision about who buys the wedding bands is a personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

Financial independence

Wedding ring traditions have evolved over the years, and while the groom has traditionally been the primary wedding ring buyer, that doesn't mean the tradition still stands. Today, there is no one "right" way for a couple to buy their wedding bands.

In the past, men were often the breadwinners in heterosexual relationships and therefore took control of overall purchases, including wedding bands. However, times have changed, and women are now in stronger financial positions. As a result, modern couples have more options when it comes to purchasing their wedding bands.

One option is for the couple to split the cost of their wedding rings. This approach can make sense if the couple has already combined their finances or is paying for their wedding together. It's important to note that contributing to the cost of the bands doesn't have to be equal and can be proportional to each individual's income.

Another option is for each person to buy their own ring. This approach combines simplicity with modern elements and can be a functional and straightforward option for financially independent couples.

For some couples, open communication about finances is key to overcoming the dilemma of who pays for the wedding bands. Discussing financial preferences can bring the couple closer together and prevent any negative feelings that could arise from making a large financial investment. It's important to consider the couple's financial history and future plans when deciding how to pay for the wedding bands. If the couple has always split costs evenly, they may choose to continue doing so for the wedding bands. On the other hand, if they have big honeymoon plans or are in the process of purchasing a home, they may decide to stay within a certain budget to save money for more important things.

Ultimately, the decision about who buys the wedding bands is a personal one for each couple. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and what works for one couple may not work for another. The important thing is for both people to feel comfortable with the decision and to choose an option that aligns with their values and financial situation.

Couple's preferences

Wedding ring traditions have evolved over the years, and while some couples still adhere to classic traditions, many are choosing to forge their own path. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and the right choice for each couple will depend on their unique circumstances and preferences. Here are some common preferences exhibited by couples when it comes to wedding bands:

Traditional Approach

Traditionally, the bride (often with financial help from her family) purchases the groom's wedding band, while the groom buys the bride's. This approach is still favoured by many couples, especially those who identify as traditionalists and want to follow long-standing customs.

Modern Twist

In recent times, there has been a shift towards more modern approaches. Some couples choose to split the costs of their wedding rings equally, regardless of the price difference between the bands. This option is often favoured by those who have already combined their finances or are paying for their wedding together. It provides a simple and straightforward solution, with a romantic aesthetic that some couples appreciate.

Financial Independence

Some financially independent couples opt to purchase their own wedding bands. This approach combines simplicity with modern elements and can be a practical solution for those who prefer to maintain their independence. While it may not be considered as romantic as other options, it works well for some couples who prioritise functionality over fashion.

Family Involvement

In some cases, families get involved in the purchase of wedding bands. Traditionally, the bride's family would buy the groom's band, and vice versa. However, nowadays, families may contribute in various ways, such as buying one or both of the bands or covering other wedding expenses. This option provides flexibility and allows for creative solutions that suit the couple's unique situation.

Surprise Each Other

Some couples prefer to surprise each other with their wedding bands, selecting a ring that embodies their love and commitment. This option is often deemed more romantic and personal, allowing each partner to put thought and emotion into choosing the perfect ring for their beloved. It establishes a sense of equality and can be a fun and exciting experience for both individuals.

Practical Considerations

For some couples, practical considerations take precedence. If one partner has better credit or financial stability, they may take the lead in purchasing the wedding bands. Additionally, if the couple has already combined their finances, they may opt to pay for the rings together or allocate their money to other wedding expenses. Communicating openly about financial history, future plans, and budget constraints is essential to making an informed decision.

Equality

Wedding ring traditions have evolved over the years, and while there are no hard-and-fast rules, couples often face the question of who should buy the wedding bands. In the past, gender often dictated who purchased the wedding rings, with the groom buying the bride's wedding band and the bride buying the groom's. However, modern couples are increasingly choosing to make their own traditions, prioritising equality and what feels right for them.

In the context of buying wedding bands, equality can be achieved in several ways:

• Mutual Decision-Making: Instead of adhering to traditional gender roles, couples can make decisions together about their wedding bands. This includes discussing preferences, budgets, and any other relevant factors. Open communication ensures that both individuals are comfortable and on the same page financially, setting a positive precedent for the future.
• Splitting Costs: One way to ensure equality is for the couple to split the costs of the wedding bands. This approach can be especially meaningful if the couple has already combined their finances or is paying for other wedding expenses together. It symbolises a partnership of equals, where both individuals contribute and share the financial responsibility.
• Individual Purchases: In some cases, each person in the couple may prefer to purchase their own wedding band. This option emphasises financial independence and a modern approach to relationships. While it may not be considered as romantic as traditional methods, it can be a practical and functional choice for financially independent couples.
• Surprising Each Other: Another way to maintain equality is for each person to buy a wedding band for their partner. This option can be more romantic and personal, as each individual puts thought and emotion into choosing a band that embodies their love for their partner. It establishes a sense of equality in the relationship, showing that both individuals are committed to contributing equally.
• Family Involvement: In certain situations, the couple's families may offer to buy the wedding bands or contribute financially. This can be a way to honour family traditions while also allowing the couple to focus their funds on other wedding expenses.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, the decision about who buys the wedding bands should be made by the couple themselves, based on what feels right for their unique situation. Equality in this context is about recognising and respecting each other's preferences, financial circumstances, and the type of relationship they want to build together. By having open conversations and considering various options, couples can find a solution that embodies their shared values and commitment to each other.

Frequently asked questions