A Revow Wedding: Can You Really Do It?

In England, Wales, and Northern Ireland, marriage typically results in the automatic revocation of a will. This means that if you don't create a new will after getting married, the law will decide how your assets are distributed upon your death. Marriage-based green cards can also be revoked, although there is no specific revocation for such cases. Instead, marriage-based residencies are often subject to additional reviews after two years, which may result in the denial of a green card extension if sufficient evidence of a bona fide relationship is lacking.

I do vs. writing your own vows

Deciding between writing your own vows or sticking to the traditional "I do" is a common dilemma for couples planning their wedding. While some opt for the traditional route, others choose to pen personalised messages to their future spouse. So, which is the better option? Let's explore the pros and cons of both choices.

The "I Do" Option

The traditional "I do" is a long-standing wedding custom that has been used for generations. It is a simple, straightforward way to seal your commitment to your partner. Opting for the "I do" can be a good choice if you want to avoid the pressure of writing your own vows or if you prefer to keep your wedding ceremony more concise and to the point. Additionally, if you're nervous about public speaking, saying "I do" can be a more comfortable option.

However, some couples may feel that simply saying "I do" doesn't fully capture the depth of their love and commitment. It may seem too generic or impersonal, especially if you want your wedding to reflect your unique relationship.

Writing Your Own Vows

Composing your own wedding vows allows you to create promises that are meaningful and unique to you and your partner. It gives you the opportunity to vocalise your love, hopes, and dreams in front of your friends and family, providing a deeper insight into your love story. Writing your own vows can make your wedding ceremony more intimate, emotional, and memorable. It also gives you the flexibility to include personal stories, humour, and inside jokes that will resonate with your guests.

On the other hand, writing your own vows can be a daunting task. You may feel the weight of perfectly capturing your love and making it authentic. Writer's block is a common issue, and it can be challenging to find the right words to express your sentiments. Additionally, if you're not comfortable with public speaking, reading your own vows in front of an audience may be intimidating.

Combining Both

It's important to remember that you don't necessarily have to choose between the two options. Many couples choose to do a combination of both by including a traditional "I do" along with personalised vows. This allows you to have the best of both worlds – the familiarity of the traditional vows and the personal touch of your own written promises.

Final Thoughts

Whether you choose to stick with the traditional "I do", write your own vows, or do a combination of both, the most important thing is that your wedding reflects your relationship and your commitment to each other. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner. After all, this is your day to celebrate your love and begin your married life together.

Religious vs. civil ceremonies

A religious wedding ceremony is steeped in tradition and is usually held in a house of worship, such as a church, and officiated by a religious official like a priest, rabbi, or minister. The ceremony is filled with rituals, scripture, and songs, and the couple often has little say over the order of the ceremony, the vows, or the songs and readings. While religious ceremonies can be deeply meaningful and symbolic, they are not legally binding, so the couple must obtain a marriage license to make the marriage official.

On the other hand, a civil ceremony is a non-religious, legal marriage ceremony. It is officiated by a legal official such as a judge, justice of the peace, magistrate, or notary public. Civil ceremonies offer more freedom and creativity to the couple, who can choose to hold the ceremony in any location, such as on a beach or in a forest. They also have more control over the format of the ceremony, including the vows, which can be written by the couple themselves.

The main difference between the two types of ceremonies is the presence or absence of religious elements. Religious ceremonies are focused on traditional rituals and the sacred nature of the union, while civil ceremonies are more concerned with the legal recognition of the marriage.

Couples may choose a religious ceremony if they follow a specific religion and want their marriage to be recognized by their faith. On the other hand, couples who are not religious or who follow different faiths may opt for a civil ceremony to avoid the constraints of religious traditions. Civil ceremonies also allow for more personalization and can be held in non-traditional venues.

Ultimately, the decision between a religious and civil ceremony depends on the couple's beliefs, values, and preferences. Both types of ceremonies are valid and meaningful ways to celebrate a marriage, and the choice should reflect what is most important to the couple.

Marriage vow structure

Renewing your wedding vows is a wonderful way to celebrate your marriage and commemorate your love. There are no hard and fast rules for vow renewals, so you can get creative and make the ceremony as unique and meaningful as you like. Here is a suggested structure for writing your own wedding vows:

Step 1: Start by Setting the Scene

Begin by addressing your partner by name and explaining how you're feeling at that moment. For example: "Jordan, when I asked to be your science project partner in 5th grade, I never imagined it would result in standing in front of you today."

Step 2: Communicate What You Love About Your Partner

List the qualities you admire in your partner. What is your favourite thing about them? What qualities do they have that you don't? How do they inspire you? What are you most grateful for?

Step 3: Describe What You Love About Your Relationship

Explain what you appreciate about your relationship. Do you share a special sense of humour? Do you have a unique way of reading each other's minds? Do you both have a passion for adventure and travel? Write a few sentences about why your relationship is special.

Step 4: List Specific Promises

Make three to six promises, most of which should be sincere and can stand the test of time. You could promise to always support your partner, be honest and loyal, care for them when they're sick, or share your life and dreams with them. One or two promises can be more playful, such as promising to always let them play golf on Sundays.

Step 5: Describe Your Vision for Marriage

Share how you envision your marriage. How will your supportive nature keep your marriage strong? What shared dreams do you have? How will you remain close, even through challenges and changes?

Step 6: Close with a Loving Last Line

End with a heartfelt statement such as, "You are my soul mate, partner for life, and now my wife. I will always love you." Or simply, "I love you."

Marriage vow content

Renewing your wedding vows is a special way to declare your continuing commitment to your spouse. It can be done at any time after your original wedding, whether that's shortly after or on a milestone anniversary.

There are no hard and fast rules for vow renewals, so you have lots of room to get creative. You can make the event as intimate or grand as you like, and include only the elements that you love. Here are some ideas for your marriage vow content:

• Recommitment: Start your vows by affirming your love and commitment to your partner. You can mention how your love has grown over time and how you plan to continue supporting each other in the future.
• Praise: Include some praise for your partner in your vows. You can talk about how they've made you a better person, how they've supported you through challenges, or how they've helped you achieve your goals.
• Promises: The core of your vows should be the promises you make to your partner. These can be general, such as promising to support them in good times and bad, or specific, like promising to always let them play golf on Sundays.
• Shared Activities: Think about the activities and hobbies you share with your partner. You can mention these in your vows, casting a vision for your shared future together.
• Humour: If you want to add some humour to your vows, you can include inside jokes or lighthearted promises. For example, promising to never keep score, even when you're clearly winning.
• Poetry: You may want to incorporate some romantic poetry or quotes into your vows. This could be from a famous poem or book, or something you've written yourself.
• Family: If you have children or grandchildren, you can mention them in your vows and talk about your future as a family.
• Difficult Times: If you and your partner have gone through a difficult period, you can mention this in your vows and talk about how you've overcome challenges together.
• Faith: If your faith is important to you, you can include religious elements in your vows. Traditional wedding vows from various religions include references to God, guidance, protection, and faithfulness.

Remember, your vows should be a true reflection of your union and your love. Make them personal, warm, and loving, and don't include anything that will embarrass you or your guests.

Marriage vow delivery

Renewing your wedding vows is a wonderful way to celebrate your marriage and your love for each other. It is also a chance to recommit to your relationship in front of your family and friends.

There are no hard and fast rules for a vow renewal ceremony, so you can get creative and make it as unique and personal as you like. Here are some ideas to consider:

The Vows

The most important part of the ceremony is the vows. You can choose to recite your original wedding vows, or write new ones that reflect your experiences as a married couple and the promises you want to make to each other going forward. If you write new vows, consider mentioning significant events from the past and your hopes for the future.

The Rings

Some couples choose to exchange rings again during the ceremony, either using their original wedding bands or buying new rings. If you are buying new rings, you may want to get them engraved with a special message or the date of your vow renewal.

The Location

You can hold your vow renewal ceremony anywhere you like. Some couples choose to have a simple celebration at home, at a local church, or a restaurant, while others opt for a more exotic location, such as a beach or a favourite holiday destination.

The Guests

Vow renewals are typically smaller, more intimate affairs than weddings, with just close family and friends in attendance. However, some couples do choose to have a larger guest list, especially if they are combining the ceremony with a significant anniversary celebration.

The Officiant

Unlike a wedding, a vow renewal ceremony does not need to be presided over by an official officiant. You can ask a friend or family member to host the ceremony instead.

The Agenda

As well as exchanging vows and rings, you may want to include some readings or music during the ceremony. You could ask friends or family members to contribute with well-wishes or readings, and choose music that has sentimental value for you both.

What to Wear

There are no rules when it comes to what to wear for a vow renewal. You could wear your original wedding outfits, or choose something new and unique. It's entirely up to you!

The Reception

After the ceremony, it is customary to have a reception to celebrate. This could be a small dinner with your guests or a larger party, depending on your preference. It's a chance to thank the people who have supported your union over the years and to share your happiness with those you love.

A vow renewal ceremony is a wonderful way to reaffirm your commitment to each other and celebrate your marriage. It can be as simple or as elaborate as you like, so feel free to get creative and make it a unique and meaningful experience.

Frequently asked questions