Lutheran Pastor: Non-Church Wedding Officiation

Whether a Lutheran pastor can officiate a non-church wedding depends on several factors, including the specific denomination, the couple's religious backgrounds, and the pastor's discretion. In the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Finland, for example, a church wedding is permitted if both the bride and groom are confirmed members or if one belongs to the church and the other to another Christian denomination. In the US, Lutheran pastors are advised to respect government marriage laws, including same-sex marriage, though they are not obligated to perform ceremonies that conflict with their beliefs. Ultimately, the decision to officiate a non-church wedding may vary by pastor and congregation, with some prioritizing flexibility and others adhering strictly to church traditions.

The role of clergy in legal marriage

The role of clergy in a legal marriage is to officiate the wedding ceremony. In Christian weddings, this is usually a pastor, priest, or vicar. In Lutheran weddings, a pastor or priest presides over the ceremony.

In the Catholic Church, the priest is the assistant at the wedding and signs the civil marriage license, noting their title, name, the name of the church, and the date of the marriage. The couple then has 60 days to complete and submit the license to the county clerk, where it is kept in the permanent registry. The Catholic Church also requires the presence of two witnesses in addition to the pastor or priest. This is called the "canonical form". The purpose of this is to address abuses inherent in "common law" marriages, where a spouse would rarely have recourse to a just settlement if the marriage fell apart. With the canonical form, there are witnesses to the marriage, allowing spouses to support their claims with witness testimony.

In the United States, the religious minister of a marriage is also the official witness for the state. In some states, such as Illinois, there is no law that requires a religious minister to register with the government to perform a marriage. In most cases, however, their ordinations provide the same legal standing as mainstream officiants, and marriage licenses signed by such representatives are valid and recognized.

The Lutheran Commission on Theology and Church Relations has stated that marriage is both "sacred and secular". While clergy members can decline to participate in ceremonies that conflict with their beliefs, they are asked to sign marriage licenses and respect the government's marriage laws.

Secular songs during the ceremony

When it comes to choosing secular songs for your wedding ceremony, there are plenty of options to personalise your special day. Secular songs are not connected with religion and are therefore not usually allowed in churches. However, if your wedding venue permits secular music, here are some ideas to get you started.

First, you'll need to decide how many songs you want to include. It's recommended that you pick at least five: one for the processional, three for any moments in between, and one for the recessional. You may also want to include songs for the prelude, when guests are arriving, and the postlude, as they exit.

For the processional, you could consider "Rondeau" by Mouret, "Trumpet Tune" by Purcell, "Festival March" by Handel, or "Canon in D" by Pachelbel. "Trumpet Voluntary" by Stanley, "The Prince of Denmark's March" by Clarke, and "Bridal Chorus" by Wagner are also popular choices for the song played as the bride enters.

For the recessional, you might opt for "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee" by Beethoven, "The Wedding March" by Mendelssohn, "Ode to Joy" by Beethoven, or "How Great Thou Art" by O Store Gud.

In between, you could include songs such as "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri, "Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley, "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat, or "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.

If you're looking for something a little more unique, you could consider "Falling Slowly" by The Swell Season, "Latch" by Disclosure and Sam Smith, "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers, or "Stupid Love" by Lady Gaga.

Remember, the songs you choose will set the tone for your ceremony and your whole day, so make sure you select music that reflects your personal taste and brings fond memories to you and your partner.

The involvement of non-Lutheran ministers

In the case of a Catholic-Lutheran couple, the Catholic Church does not permit a Catholic wedding ceremony to involve a non-Catholic minister. However, it may be possible to obtain a dispensation from canonical form, allowing the Catholic party to marry in a Lutheran wedding ceremony celebrated in the Lutheran parish church.

In the case of a Jewish-Catholic couple, the Catholic Church maintains that the Catholic wedding ceremony must be performed by a Catholic priest, deacon, or bishop. A subsequent Jewish ceremony would not be permitted, as it would constitute another religious celebration of the same marriage.

In the context of wedding officiation, the term "Lutheran pastor" typically refers to a pastor within the Lutheran denomination. However, it is worth noting that state laws determine who can officiate at weddings, and online ordination is sometimes accepted as a valid form of credentialing.

When it comes to interfaith marriages, the involvement of non-Lutheran ministers can be a complex issue. It is essential to respect the beliefs and practices of both religious traditions while also adhering to legal requirements.

The involvement of former pastors

In general, the pastor's role in a wedding includes the following: a preliminary interview with the couple, premarital counselling, the wedding rehearsal, the wedding ceremony, and an optional invite to the rehearsal dinner and/or wedding reception.

At the Faith Lutheran Church, the pastor will be in charge of the rehearsal and will also preside over the wedding ceremony, following the marriage service found in the Lutheran Book of Worship. The pastor is happy to help the couple plan for personalized vows and the use of the unity candle, for example.

The inclusion of clergy from other denominations is welcomed, and the couple can decide how much or how little of the service they wish to conduct. However, the participation of a former pastor is not typically encouraged and requires the approval of the current pastor. This suggests that the involvement of former pastors may be considered on a case-by-case basis and is subject to the discretion of the current pastor.

In some Lutheran churches, such as the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Finland, a couple can have a church wedding if one of them belongs to the Lutheran Church and the other to another Christian denomination. In this case, the wedding can be officiated by a pastor of the Lutheran Church or a priest of the Orthodox Church of Finland. Therefore, it is possible that a former pastor, with approval from the current pastor, could officiate a wedding alongside a current pastor or priest from another denomination.

Ultimately, the involvement of former pastors in a wedding will depend on the specific Lutheran church and the discretion of the current pastor. While it may not be typically encouraged, there may be some flexibility and willingness to include a former pastor in a non-church wedding, especially if the couple has a personal connection or relationship with the former pastor.

The involvement of other religious communities

• Interfaith Marriage: If one partner is Lutheran and the other belongs to a different Christian denomination, such as the Orthodox Church, Catholic Church, or various Protestant denominations, a Lutheran pastor may be able to accommodate their wedding ceremony. The specific policies may vary among Lutheran churches, but some, like the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Finland, allow interdenominational marriages to be officiated by a Lutheran pastor. In such cases, the couple should consult with the pastor and discuss their wishes for the ceremony.
• Interfaith Families: When a Lutheran is marrying someone from a different religious background, such as Judaism, it is important to consider the expectations and wishes of both families. In some cases, both families may insist on having the wedding ceremony in their respective places of worship. To navigate this situation, the couple may consider having two separate wedding ceremonies, each respecting the traditions of the different faiths. Alternatively, they may seek a neutral location that can accommodate both faiths, ensuring that the religious sensibilities of both families are respected.
• Ecumenical Relations: While the Lutheran Church values ecumenical relations and inter-religious dialogue, it maintains its theological principles and does not consider other religious groups as equal. This means that a Lutheran pastor may not be willing to co-officiate a wedding with a cleric from another religious tradition. However, the non-Lutheran cleric can be seated in a prominent place during the Lutheran ceremony, showing respectful deference to their presence without implying equal footing in officiating the wedding.
• Dispensation and Canonical Form: In the case of a Catholic-Lutheran marriage, it is essential to understand the concept of canonical form. Catholics who wish to marry must observe canonical form, which means that the wedding must be celebrated by the local bishop, parish priest, or a delegated priest or deacon. However, a dispensation from canonical form can be requested under certain circumstances. If granted, this allows the Catholic party to marry in a non-Catholic ceremony, such as a Lutheran wedding, and the marriage will still be recognized as valid by the Catholic Church.
• Involvement of Clergy from Other Denominations: Some Lutheran churches, like the Faith Lutheran Church, welcome the inclusion of clergy from other denominations in wedding ceremonies. The invited clergy can choose to participate as much or as little in the service as the couple desires. However, it is important to discuss these arrangements with the Lutheran pastor beforehand, as there may be specific guidelines and approvals needed for such participation.

Frequently asked questions