Couples Shower: A Post-Wedding Celebration

Bridal showers are traditionally held before the wedding, but there are no set-in-stone rules. While some people believe that having a bridal shower after the wedding is weird and gift-grabby, others think it's okay if there are valid reasons for not having one before the wedding. For example, if the bride is from another country and couldn't travel home for a bridal shower before the wedding, it might be acceptable to have one after. It's also important to note that guests are expected to bring gifts to bridal showers, and it might be considered rude to invite people who are not also invited to the wedding.

Couples' showers are acceptable, but they are usually held before the wedding

While couples' showers are acceptable, they are usually held before the wedding. Bridal showers are traditionally held for a bride-to-be, and the same principle applies to the groom-to-be. Once the wedding has taken place, the couple is no longer the bride or groom-to-be, but a married couple.

One of the main issues with hosting a bridal shower after the wedding is that it can be perceived as soliciting gifts. Showers are traditionally an occasion where gifts are given, and inviting guests to a bridal shower after they may have already given a wedding gift can come across as gift-grabby and tacky. It's important to note that guests may have already chosen something extra for the couple off their registry or spent more on their wedding gift in the absence of a pre-wedding shower.

Another issue is that bridal shower etiquette dictates that everyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding. While there are exceptions, such as office showers, generally, it is considered inappropriate to invite people to a bridal shower who are not part of the wedding guest list.

However, there are alternatives to hosting a bridal shower after the wedding. It is acceptable to have a brunch or ladies' luncheon after the wedding to celebrate the newlywed couple. It can be a wonderful way for friends and family to celebrate, without calling it a shower. It can be a joint party with the couple or a housewarming party if they are moving into a new home.

In the end, the decision to have a bridal shower after the wedding depends on the couple's preferences and their guests' comfort levels. If the couple strongly feels they want a bridal shower after their wedding and their guests are on board, they may choose to go ahead with it. However, it is generally advisable to follow traditional etiquette and host the shower before the wedding.

It is generally considered rude to have a bridal shower after the wedding

Bridal showers are a wonderful pre-wedding tradition that gives the bride's nearest and dearest a chance to meet and bond. However, it is generally considered rude to have a bridal shower after the wedding. This is because the main purpose of a bridal shower is to shower the bride with gifts, and having one after the wedding can come across as gift-grabby. It is also considered odd because, by definition, a bridal shower is for a bride, and once the wedding has taken place, the bride is now a wife.

While it is not uncommon for a bride to have more than one bridal shower, these typically take place in the months or weeks leading up to the wedding. The ideal timing is two months to two weeks before the wedding, after the couple has firm plans. This gives the bride enough time to write thank-you notes before she has to start writing wedding thank-you notes.

There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. Some people believe that if there is a legitimate reason why a bridal shower could not take place before the wedding, then it is okay to have one afterwards. For example, if the bride is from another country and could not return home until after the wedding due to visa issues, then it might be acceptable to have a bridal shower after the wedding. In this case, it is best to only invite close friends and family who understand the situation.

Another option is to have a different type of celebration after the wedding, such as a housewarming party or a "Canadian reception," as one person suggested. This takes the focus off gifts and instead emphasizes celebrating the marriage with friends and family.

Ultimately, the decision to have a bridal shower after the wedding is up to the couple and the host. However, it is important to be mindful of the potential negative perceptions and adjust expectations accordingly.

If you do have a bridal shower after the wedding, only invite close friends and family

While it is generally considered improper etiquette to have a bridal shower after the wedding, there are some who disagree. One source suggests that there are no set-in-stone rules for weddings anymore and that, in this case, it would be fine. Another source suggests that, if you do have a bridal shower after the wedding, you should only invite close friends and family who know your situation well.

If you are going to have a bridal shower after the wedding, it is important to keep in mind that it may be seen as weird or tacky by some guests, especially if they are not close friends or family. It is also important to consider the gift-giving aspect of bridal showers. Some guests may be irritated by what they perceive as a gift-grab, especially if they have already given a wedding gift. If you have a bridal shower after your wedding, it is a good idea to make it clear that gifts are not expected or required.

If you are set on having a celebration after your wedding, some alternative options include a housewarming party or a "Canadian reception". These types of celebrations have different expectations around gifts and may be better received by your guests. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to have a bridal shower after your wedding is up to you and your partner. If you choose to move forward with it, be mindful of your guests' perspectives and communicate clearly about the event.

If you don't want a bridal shower, you can make a small registry

Bridal showers are traditionally held before the wedding, and it is generally considered poor etiquette to hold one after the wedding. However, if you don't want a bridal shower, you can still make a small registry. Here are some tips and suggestions for doing so:

It is common for couples to create a registry to guide their guests in selecting gifts that the couple truly wants or needs. A registry ensures that you receive gifts that are useful and meaningful to you, rather than ending up with duplicate or unwanted items.

Timing of the Registry

It is recommended to set up your registry soon after getting engaged. This allows guests to refer to it for pre-wedding events or to plan ahead. However, if you are creating a registry after the wedding, there is no specific timeframe to adhere to. You can set it up at any time that suits you and your partner.

What to Include in the Registry

When creating your registry, consider including smaller, more personalised gifts that are typically given at bridal showers. This could include items such as picture frames, books, wine, or even lingerie. You can also include bigger-ticket items for your new home together, such as appliances or home décor.

If you already have most of the essential household items, think outside the box. For example, you could ask for cash to save for a specific purchase, gift cards to your favourite restaurants or stores, or experiences like cooking classes or dance lessons.

Where to Create the Registry

You can create your registry online through websites like Zola or The Knot, which offer convenient and flexible options. These sites allow you to add gifts from various brands and retailers, as well as experiences, gift cards, and cash funds. They also provide helpful features such as group gifting, price matching, and virtual exchanges.

Alternatively, you can create a registry at a physical store. This option may be preferable if you prefer a more traditional approach or want to cater to guests who prefer in-person shopping.

Communicating Your Registry

If you choose to create a registry, be sure to communicate it to your guests clearly. You can include the details in your wedding invitation or inform your close friends and family, who can then spread the word. This way, your guests will know what gifts to bring, even without a bridal shower.

Other Considerations

Keep in mind that some guests may still choose to give you gifts even if you don't have a registry or a bridal shower. They may want to celebrate your marriage with a token of their affection. In such cases, you can graciously accept their gifts and send thank-you notes expressing your appreciation.

Additionally, if you have a small, intimate wedding, it is generally expected that only the women invited to the wedding would be invited to a bridal shower. This is something to keep in mind when considering a bridal shower or creating a registry.

In conclusion, while a bridal shower is a fun tradition, it is not mandatory. You can absolutely opt out of it and still create a small registry to guide your guests' gift choices. This way, you can receive gifts that you truly want and need, without the fanfare of a bridal shower.

If you have a post-wedding bridal shower, don't expect many people to come

Bridal showers are traditionally held before the wedding, and are intended to be a pre-wedding event for the bride's nearest and dearest to meet and bond. They are also an opportunity for guests to bring gifts for the bride and groom.

If you're thinking of having a post-wedding bridal shower, be aware that it may be difficult to get people to come. Firstly, guests may have already spent money on a wedding gift for you, and may not want to buy another gift for a post-wedding shower. Secondly, it could be seen as a gift-grabbing move, with guests feeling that their wedding gift wasn't enough. Thirdly, a firm rule of bridal shower etiquette is that everyone invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding. If your wedding guest list was small, a post-wedding shower could be seen as rubbing salt in the wound for those who were not invited to the wedding itself.

If you're set on having some kind of celebration, a brunch or ladies' luncheon after your wedding is a more acceptable option. You could also combine it with the groom, so you have a joint party, or make it a housewarming if you're moving into a new home together.

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