Destination Weddings: Catholic Ceremony Dos And Don'ts

Planning a wedding can be a stressful time, and even more so when religion is involved. For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament, and there are specific rules that apply to recognised Catholic weddings. For instance, according to Canon law, Catholic ceremonies need to be held on consecrated grounds, which means that you will not be able to host your ceremony on the beach or other non-consecrated locations.

If you are considering a Catholic destination wedding, it's important to consult your local parish or priest for help and advice. To be recognised, many Catholic weddings require scanned copies of your baptism, and possibly your communion and confirmation papers too. If one person isn’t Catholic, your local parish can offer further assistance, and your parish will need to approve of your marriage. This approval paperwork will then be forwarded to your chosen destination.

Catholic destination weddings: legal vs. symbolic

For Catholic couples, marriage is a sacrament, and as such, there are specific rules that apply to Catholic weddings. This includes the requirement to complete a prenuptial investigation and a pre-cana course. Additionally, Catholic ceremonies must be held on consecrated grounds, which means that beach weddings or other non-consecrated locations are not permitted.

When planning a Catholic destination wedding, it is important to start preparing with your local parish as close to 12 months in advance as possible, especially if there are any complicating factors such as divorce or a non-Catholic partner. This preparation includes completing the prenuptial investigation and pre-cana course, as well as obtaining any necessary dispensations or annulments.

Legal vs. Symbolic Ceremonies

There are two types of destination wedding ceremonies: legal and symbolic. A legal ceremony is legally binding in the location where it is performed and typically requires additional paperwork, costs, and sometimes even blood tests. On the other hand, a symbolic ceremony is not legally recognized and can be officiated by anyone, including a friend or family member. It is important to note that a Catholic ceremony, by itself, is not a legal/civil ceremony in many countries, including Mexico.

Requirements for a Legal Ceremony

The requirements for a legal ceremony vary by location. For example, in Mexico, a civil ceremony is required for a legally binding marriage, and it must be performed by a judge. This is separate from a religious ceremony, which can be performed by a non-denominational minister. In the Dominican Republic, both civil and Catholic ceremonies are legally recognized but require notarized paperwork and translation to Spanish. In Jamaica, both civil and religious ceremonies are legally binding, while in Aruba, only civil ceremonies performed by a judge are legally recognized.

When planning a Catholic destination wedding, it is important to consult with your local parish and the parish at your destination to ensure that you meet all the necessary requirements for both a legal and Catholic ceremony. While a Catholic ceremony may not always be legally binding, it is important to follow the rules and guidelines set by the Church to ensure that your marriage is recognized by the Catholic community.

Catholic wedding outside a church

The Catholic Church has strict rules about where weddings can take place. According to Canon 1118.1, a marriage between two Catholics or between a Catholic and a baptised non-Catholic must be celebrated in a parish church. However, permission can be granted for the ceremony to be held in a different Catholic church or chapel.

The Code of Canon Law states that "marriages...can be celebrated elsewhere" with the permission of the local bishop. However, it is very difficult to obtain such authorisation, as bishops are reluctant to allow weddings outside of church due to the sacred nature of the occasion. In rare cases, a bishop may grant permission for a Catholic wedding to be held outside of a church for political, cultural or safety reasons. For example, if the church building has been damaged by a natural disaster.

In the Archdiocese of Montana and the Archdiocese of Baltimore, Maryland, priests or deacons are now allowed to officiate weddings in "another suitable place". In these dioceses, a third of wedding requests have been for outdoor locations. However, weddings still cannot take place in bars, clubs or on boats.

If you are a Catholic wanting to get married outside of a church, it is recommended that you speak to your parish priest to discuss your options.

Catholic guests at non-Catholic weddings

Catholics may attend any wedding held in a Catholic Church. However, when it comes to non-Catholic weddings, there are a few things to consider. Here are some guidelines for Catholic guests attending non-Catholic weddings:

Case 1: Catholic Wedding in a Non-Catholic Setting

If a Catholic person falls in love with a non-Catholic person and wishes to marry them in a non-Catholic setting, they can request dispensation from their bishop. If granted, the marriage can take place outside the Catholic Church but must be recorded in the Catholic parish. The Catholic party must also inform their spouse of their intention to raise their children as Catholics. In this case, Catholics may attend the wedding but should refrain from receiving communion in a non-Catholic ceremony.

Case 2: Non-Canonical Form Marriage of a Catholic

This scenario involves a Catholic person marrying outside the Catholic Church without the bishop's dispensation. It is considered a sin for a Catholic to do so, but their lack of awareness of this sin may be due to poor instruction. The marriage is potentially valid if both parties are free to marry and intend to uphold the properties of unity and indissolubility. Catholics may attend such weddings, especially if their presence might help bring the Catholic spouse closer to the Catholic Church. However, they should speak up and encourage the spouse to get their marriage blessed in the Church.

Case 3: Remarriage of a Divorced Person Without Annulment

According to the teachings of Jesus Christ, a practicing Catholic should not attend the wedding ceremony of a divorced person who is remarrying without an annulment. Their attendance could be seen as condoning an invalid marriage. However, some priests believe that passive presence may be legitimate to maintain relationships with relatives, provided that certain conditions are met, such as attending the ceremony but not the reception.

Case 4: Attempted Marriage of Persons of the Same Sex

No one should attend or witness the attempted marriage of persons of the same sex, as it is considered invalid and against natural law and canon law. While Catholics should "love the sinner, but hate the sin," they can explain that marriage is about procreation, which is not possible between two people of the same sex. Friendship and chastity are still possible virtues to be cultivated.

In conclusion, Catholics must discern whether their attendance at a non-Catholic wedding would condone an invalid marriage. They are called to "love the sinner, but hate the sin" and remain faithful to Christ and His teachings on marriage.

Catholic annulments

An annulment in the Catholic Church is a declaration by a Church tribunal (a Catholic Church court) that a marriage, once thought to be valid, fell short of at least one of the essential elements required for a binding union. An annulment does not mean that the marriage never existed, but rather that it was invalid at the time the couple entered the union.

Who can apply for an annulment?

Usually, a person seeking an annulment is someone who has been married, is now divorced, and wishes to marry again in the Church. The desire to remarry is not a prerequisite, however, as some devout Catholics may simply want their parish to legitimize their divorce.

How to get an annulment

Anyone who is looking to get an annulment in the Catholic Church must go through a thorough evaluation process, conducted by a tribunal. The annulment process involves several steps:

• The petitioner (the person who wants an annulment) requests a declaration of nullity, a formal written plea that asks the Church to get annulled.
• The petitioner provides a written testimony about their former marriage, detailing the couple's background and history. If the other spouse (the respondent) doesn't co-sign the petition, the Church will notify them that the annulment process has begun and give them an opportunity to respond.
• The petitioner gathers a list of two or more witnesses who are willing to help with the case, such as answering questions about the relationship and both parties involved.
• The petitioner gathers the necessary documents:

• The declaration of nullity
• Copies of all Catholic parties' baptismal certificates
• A copy of the civil marriage license
• A copy of the church marriage certificate
• A copy of the divorce decree certified or signed by the judge

• A tribunal determines the best process to move forward. Both parties have the option of enlisting a Church advocate to represent them.
• The tribunal assigns a defender of the bond on behalf of the Catholic Church to list all the facts that support the marriage's validity.
• The tribunal declares whether the marriage was invalid from the start. You and your former spouse (unless they don't wish to be notified) will then receive the ruling.

What the annulment ruling means

If the tribunal declares that a marriage is invalid, both parties will be able to get married again in the Catholic Church. This declaration only has religious implications and no civil effects, so the ruling says nothing about children, property rights, or inheritance rights, for instance.

Since every case is different, it's difficult to put a timeline on the annulment process. That said, the most extensive cases can take anywhere from nine to 18 months, while some of the shorter ones take a matter of weeks.

The cost of an annulment

Annulments can cost upwards of $1,000, but Pope Francis has asked dioceses to subsidize tribunal services, so they're free of charge for those seeking an annulment. Based on the amount that the diocese is able to subsidize, petitioners might have to pay a fee, which can be covered in installments over a period of time.

Catholic weddings in Mexico

The Ceremony

The Attire

In terms of attire, the bride usually wears a wedding dress that may be tailor-made or traditionally sewn by the bride or her family. If the wedding is held in a Catholic church, the bride typically wears a bolero jacket or bridal shawl to cover her bare shoulders and a veil to cover her head. The groom often wears a guayabera, a traditional Mexican shirt made of linen, paired with linen or black pants. The bridal party attire is usually matching, with the bridesmaids' dresses complementing the groomsmen's ties or cummerbunds.

The Reception

The wedding reception in Mexican culture is a lively celebration with delicious food, drinks, and traditional dances. The reception may last all night, with guests enjoying Mexican delicacies such as tacos, tamales, pork carnitas, and chiles rellenos. The open bar typically serves a variety of drinks, including Mexican beers, tequila, and margaritas. Traditional Mexican wedding cookies, known as polvorones, are also served, along with other desserts such as tres leches cake, flan, and buñuelos.

Unique Traditions

Mexican weddings are known for their unique traditions that add a festive touch to the celebration:

• La Callejoneada: This is a parade that takes place after the wedding ceremony, led by mariachis playing upbeat music. It is similar to a Second Line in a New Orleans wedding.
• La Vibora de La Mar (the Sea Snake Dance): In this tradition, the bride and groom stand on chairs opposite each other and form an arch, while guests pass through, holding hands and dancing.
• Money Dance: Guests "pay" for a dance with the couple by pinning dollars on their attire. This is a way to extend best wishes and also provides the couple with money for their honeymoon or new home.
• La Tornaboda (After-Party): This is a smaller gathering held after the main reception or the next day, exclusively for family and close friends. It is a more intimate celebration for those closest to the couple.

Frequently asked questions