Addressing Wedding Invites: Including "And Guest"?

Wedding invitations are a key part of the wedding planning process, and it's important to get them right. Addressing wedding invitations can be a tricky business, especially when it comes to the question of whether to include a plus-one or not. The general rule is that if you know the name of the guest, you should include it on the envelope. If you don't know their name, you can simply write and guest. It's also worth noting that the and in and guest should not be capitalised.

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a married couple on a wedding invitation, there are a few general guidelines to follow. Traditionally, the inner and outer envelopes follow different etiquette rules. The outer envelope is formal and typically includes the recipient's full name and title. The inner envelope is more informal, allowing for more flexibility with names and titles.

For a heterosexual married couple with the same last name, the outer envelope is typically addressed using "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example:

> "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

If the couple prefers a more modern approach, the wife's name can be included as well:

> "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

The inner envelope can then be more casual, such as:

> "Thomas and Michelle"

For a same-sex married couple with the same last name, either name can go first:

> "Mr. and Mr. Thomas Warren"

> "Mrs. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

If the married couple has different last names, their names are written on the same line with the woman's name first. If the names are too long, they can be listed separately:

> "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

For the inner envelope, you can use their first names:

> "Maria and David"

If one spouse has a hyphenated last name, their names are listed with the non-hyphenated name first:

> "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

On the inner envelope, you can use their first names or keep the non-hyphenated name first:

> "Marcus and Brian"

When addressing a married couple, it's important to consider their preferences and what they may find most respectful. Some modern women may prefer to have their names included instead of being lumped in with their husbands. In such cases, you can use their first and last names:

> "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

For the inner envelope, you can use their titles and last name or just their first names:

> "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren"

> "Thomas and Michelle"

Ultimately, the key is to be respectful and clear in your invitation addressing. Be mindful of the couple's preferences and what they may find most appropriate and inclusive.

Addressing a family with children

When addressing a family with children on wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited or invite the whole family. If you want to be specific, the outer envelope should include the names of the parent(s) or guardian(s), while the inner envelope should list each invited child's name, in order of age, below. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss", while boys do not need a title until they are 16. For example:

Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly

If you are inviting the whole family, the outer envelope can simply include the family name or the names of the parents:

Outer envelope: The Thompson Family or Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson

Inner envelope: Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily

Alternatively, you can use the first names of the parents on the outer envelope and include the children's names on the inner envelope:

Outer envelope: Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson

Inner envelope: Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily

It is important to note that if you do not include the children's names on the inner envelope, it implies that they are not invited. However, some guests may still assume that their children are welcome, so it is a good idea to add a message to your wedding website specifying that the wedding is adults-only.

Addressing a single female

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single female, the guidelines below can be followed:

• If the guest is an unmarried woman, use "Ms." if she is over 18. If she is younger, "Miss" is more acceptable.
• For a single female under 18, "Miss" is spelled out.
• If the guest is a widow, it's best to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her husband's name. Some widows may prefer "Ms."
• Similar options are available for divorced women, who can be addressed using "Ms." or "Mrs." and either their ex-husband's last name or their maiden name, depending on their preference.
• If the guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before her full name.
• If the guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before her full name.

For outer envelopes, use the suggestions above. For inner envelopes, you can drop the first name or use only the first name if you are very close to the individual.

• For a single female: Ms. Lemon or Elizabeth
• For a single female under 18: Mr. Costanza or George
• For a widow: Mrs. Devereaux or Blanche
• For a divorced female: Mrs./Ms. Lyon or Mrs./Ms. Holloway

Addressing a single male

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single male, the rules are simple. If the man is over 18, use "Mr." followed by his full name. If he is under 18, no title is necessary—just write his full name.

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"

If the single male guest has been offered a plus-one, do not indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, use "and guest" language on the inner envelope only.

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery and guest" or "James and guest"

Addressing a friend with an unknown plus-one

When addressing a friend with an unknown plus-one, it is generally recommended to write down your friend's name followed by "and guest" in lowercase. This is the standard way to indicate that someone is invited with a plus-one.

It is important to note that the outer envelope of a wedding invitation is typically more formal and includes the mailing address, postage, and return address. On the other hand, the inner envelope is more casual and often includes only the recipients' names and the invitation suite. When addressing your friend with an unknown plus-one, focus on properly addressing the outer envelope with their name and "and guest."

If you are using only one envelope, as is more common nowadays, simply write your friend's name followed by "and guest" on the same line. For example, "Ms. Rachel Green and guest."

It is also worth mentioning that wedding invitation etiquette suggests erring on the side of formality. Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations, and ensure you use the correct titles or prefixes.

Additionally, be mindful of your budget and the number of guests you can accommodate when offering plus-ones. It is not necessary to offer a plus-one to every guest, especially if you have budget constraints or limited space.

Frequently asked questions