In-Law Bridesmaids: Should Sisters Be Included?

Brides often face a dilemma when it comes to choosing their bridesmaids. If your future spouse has sisters, chances are you'll have a sister-in-law bridesmaid. However, it is not a requirement to ask your sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid, and the decision is ultimately a personal one. While it can be a nice gesture and a way to create a warm and inviting start to a new family bond, it's important to consider various factors such as the relationship between the bride and the sister-in-law, as well as the potential for drama or hurt feelings within the family. Some alternatives to including a sister-in-law as a bridesmaid are assigning her a different role in the wedding, such as delivering a toast or a reading, or including her in pre-wedding activities and events.

It's not a requirement, but it's a nice gesture and can help you bond

There is no requirement to include your sister-in-law in your bridal party, but it is a nice gesture that can help you bond and create a warm and inviting start to your new family.

If you are close to your future sister-in-law, it is a great way to include her in your celebration and create lasting memories together. It can also be a wonderful opportunity for the two of you to get to know each other better and strengthen your relationship. This is especially true if you plan to have a small wedding party, as it can make her feel honoured and happy to be included.

However, if you don't feel comfortable with the idea or don't have a good relationship with your future sister-in-law, it is perfectly acceptable not to include her. It is important to remember that your bridal party should be composed of people you want by your side, and you should not feel pressured to include someone out of obligation.

Ultimately, the decision is a personal one, and there are several factors to consider. For example, if your future sister-in-law has children who will be in the wedding, it may be more convenient for her to focus on their needs rather than the responsibilities of a bridesmaid. Another factor to consider is the size of your bridal party and your budget. A large bridal party can be more expensive and may lead to more drama or hurt feelings if you are unable to include everyone.

If you decide not to include your future sister-in-law, you can still find other ways to involve her in your wedding. You can ask her to deliver a reading during the ceremony, give a speech at the rehearsal dinner or wedding, or have her children participate as flower girls or ring bearers. You can also offer her a special role, such as creating the out-of-town guest welcome bags or assembling the favours, to make her feel included and valued.

If you don't ask, it could cause drama and hurt feelings

It is important to consider family dynamics when planning a wedding. If you have a close relationship with your sister-in-law, it is natural to consider asking her to be a bridesmaid. While it is ultimately your decision, not asking her to be a bridesmaid could potentially cause drama and hurt feelings.

If you have a good relationship with your sister-in-law and choose not to include her as a bridesmaid, she may feel hurt and left out. She might assume that she would be included in your bridal party, and her feelings could be damaged if she is not asked. This could create tension within the family and potentially cause a rift in your relationship. It is crucial to consider how your sister-in-law might feel and to communicate with her openly and honestly if you decide not to include her.

On the other hand, if you have a strained or distant relationship with your sister-in-law, not asking her to be a bridesmaid could still cause drama within the family. She may feel slighted or disrespected, especially if she assumes that being a sister-in-law automatically grants her a spot in the bridal party. This could lead to family drama and potentially affect your partner's relationship with their sibling. In this case, it might be wise to have a conversation with your partner and their sibling to express your wishes and avoid any misunderstandings.

To avoid potential drama and hurt feelings, it is essential to handle the situation delicately. Consider having an open and honest conversation with your sister-in-law to explain your decision-making process. Express your desire to keep the bridal party small or to include your closest friends, and assure her that your decision is not a reflection of your feelings towards her. By communicating openly, you can help your sister-in-law understand your perspective and hopefully avoid any resentment or drama.

Additionally, it is important to involve your partner in the decision-making process. They may have valuable insights into family dynamics and can help navigate any potential challenges. Discussing your concerns with your partner can ensure that you are both on the same page and can present a united front to your families. This can help to minimize drama and keep the peace within the family.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to include your sister-in-law as a bridesmaid is yours to make. By considering the potential impact on your relationship and family dynamics, you can make an informed choice. Open communication and empathy are key to avoiding drama and ensuring that everyone feels valued and respected during your wedding planning journey.

If you don't get along, not asking could make your relationship worse

While it is not a requirement to ask your sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid, it is considered a polite gesture. If you don't get along with your sister-in-law and choose not to include her in your bridal party, it could make your relationship worse. Here are some ways to handle the situation:

Be Mindful of Communication

It is important to consider how you communicate your decision to your sister-in-law. If you don't ask her to be a bridesmaid and there has been no discussion about it, she may feel slighted. People may gossip, and even if your sister-in-law doesn't care, others could create drama. Therefore, it is crucial to handle the situation with tact and sensitivity.

Offer Alternative Roles

Instead of a bridesmaid, you can offer your sister-in-law other roles in the wedding, such as delivering a ceremony reading, giving a speech, or having her children as flower girls or ring bearers. This way, she still feels included and valued without being part of the bridal party.

Keep an Open Dialogue

If your sister-in-law reacts poorly to not being included in the bridal party, it is important to have an open and honest conversation with her. Explain your decision and try to find ways to compromise. Strong communication and willingness to compromise are key to navigating this situation.

Involve Your Fiancé

If your sister-in-law is your partner's sister, it may be better for them to lead the conversation about her role in the wedding. This can help take some pressure off of you and allow your partner to manage their family dynamics.

Be Mindful of Family Dynamics

Consider the potential long-term repercussions of not including your sister-in-law in the bridal party, especially if your partner comes from a close-knit family. Not asking her could create hurt feelings within your partner's family and potentially cause a rift. Weigh the importance of maintaining family harmony in your decision-making process.

Be Honest and Direct

If you don't get along with your sister-in-law and choose not to include her, be honest and direct about it. Explain that you want to keep the bridal party small or that you have friends you feel closer to. While it may be challenging, being direct can help avoid misunderstandings and resentment.

If you're not close, there are other ways to include her

If you're not close to your future sister-in-law, you may be hesitant to include her in your bridal party. While it's not a requirement to ask her to be a bridesmaid, it's a nice gesture and can help create a warm and inviting start to your new family bond. If you're not close and don't want to include her in your bridal party, there are other ways to involve her in your wedding. Here are some ideas:

Involve her in other wedding roles

Ask your future sister-in-law to take on other wedding roles that still allow her to feel included and be a part of your big day. For example, you could ask her to deliver a ceremony reading, give a speech at the rehearsal dinner or wedding, or have her children be flower girls or ring bearers. These roles will make her feel valued and involved without the pressure of being a bridesmaid.

Assign her specific tasks

If your future sister-in-law is keen to be involved in the wedding planning, assign her specific tasks that she can focus on. For example, she could create the out-of-town guest welcome bags, assemble the favours, or create the seating chart. This way, she feels included and contributes to the wedding in a meaningful way.

Include her in pre-wedding events

Even if your future sister-in-law isn't a bridesmaid, you can still include her in pre-wedding events like your bridal shower. This will make her feel part of the celebrations without the commitment of being in the bridal party.

Keep your bridal party small

If you want to avoid potential drama and hurt feelings, consider keeping your bridal party small and intimate. This way, you can choose your nearest and dearest without having to worry about leaving anyone out. Explain to your future sister-in-law that you've chosen a small group of people you've known for a long time, and this allows her to spend the morning and afternoon as she pleases.

Reference budget constraints

A large bridal party can be expensive, so if you're on a tight budget, this could be a valid reason for not including your future sister-in-law. Explain that being a bridesmaid comes with financial responsibilities, such as chipping in for showers and buying expensive gowns. Most people will understand that financial constraints may have influenced your decision.

Highlight the importance of her other roles

If your future sister-in-law has children who will be flower girls or ring bearers, explain that her role as a parent is critical to your day. You don't want to pull her away from her important task of managing and caring for her children. This way, her children will have her full attention and comfort throughout the ceremony.

Invite her to be part of the wedding house party

A wedding house party is a group of friends or family members who are included in the wedding celebrations but are not official bridal party members. This is a great way to involve your future sister-in-law in a more relaxed and informal capacity. She can still feel part of your special day without the commitments and responsibilities of a bridesmaid.

If you do ask, there are ways to help her feel more comfortable

If you do decide to ask your sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid, there are ways to help her feel more comfortable, especially if she doesn't know the other bridesmaids very well. You could host a small get-together so that everyone can meet beforehand, or set up a group chat or video call so that they can get acquainted.

If your sister-in-law is about to become family, asking her to be a bridesmaid can be a great way to include her in your celebration and start off your new bond. You could also ask her to deliver a speech or a reading at the rehearsal dinner or wedding, or ask her children to be flower girls or ring bearers.

If you're close with your sister-in-law, you could ask her to be your maid of honour. However, if you're not close, it's best to treat all your bridesmaids equally. You don't need to do anything special just because she's your future sister-in-law. If you have multiple sisters-in-law and you're only asking one to be a bridesmaid, be upfront about it and explain that you still want the others to play a special part in your day.

If you're not close with your sister-in-law, it's important to communicate honestly and kindly. You could explain that you've chosen your nearest and dearest friends, or that you're keeping the wedding party small. If you're worried about the cost, you could mention your budget as a reason for not asking her.

Frequently asked questions