Franklin Dean
When it comes to weddings, deciding whether to invite children can be a tricky decision. Some people love having kids at their wedding, while others prefer to keep it adults-only. There are a few factors to consider when making this decision, such as the age of the children, the budget, the venue guidelines, and the potential need for childcare. It's also important to communicate the decision clearly to guests to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide what is best for their wedding and their guests.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Inviting kids to weddings | It's okay to invite a select amount of children to your wedding, especially if you're footing the bill. |
| How to communicate the invitation | Address the inner and outer envelope of the wedding invitation with the specifics of who's invited. |
| Seating options | A separate kids' room with babysitters, dinner service, movies, and games. |
| Food | Children's meals are often less expensive and make kids happier. |
| Age groups | Seating kids aged 7-14 at a separate table and those under 7 in another room. |
| Childcare | Hiring childcare to watch over the group of children is one of the best ways to ensure your youngest wedding guests are kept busy. |
| Entertainment | Hire a children's entertainer or provide tabletop activities such as puzzles or coloring sheets. |
| Exceptions | You can make exceptions for children in the wedding party, such as the flower girl and ring bearer, or for children within your families. |
| Communicating an adult-only wedding | Use phrases like "Adult Reception," "Adults Only Reception," or "Adult-Only Ceremony and Reception" on your save the date cards. |
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What You'll Learn
Childcare services
Guest List
Before sending out your invitations, decide whether you will allow children at your wedding and, if so, whether you will invite all children or only certain guests' children. This can be a tricky decision, as excluding some children may offend certain guests. A general rule to follow is to either invite all children or only those in the wedding party and their siblings. You can also consider inviting only children from families who are travelling from out of town and may not have access to local babysitters.
Childcare Options
If you decide to invite children to your wedding, there are a few childcare options to consider:
- Onsite childcare: You can hire babysitters or nannies to supervise the children in a separate room at the venue. This option allows parents to check in on their children easily and provides a dedicated space for children to play and relax away from the main festivities. It is recommended to hire licensed and insured babysitters, and to provide age-appropriate games, toys, books, and crafts to keep the children entertained.
- Offsite childcare: Another option is to arrange for childcare at a separate location, such as a hotel or the children's homes. This option may be more suitable for older children who are comfortable being away from their parents for longer periods.
- Parents' supervision: You may also choose to leave childcare to the parents, who can decide whether to bring their children to the wedding or make their own childcare arrangements.
Child-Friendly Activities
Whether you provide onsite or offsite childcare, it is important to consider what activities will be available for the children. You can provide child-friendly meals, movies, crafts, and games to keep them entertained. You can also involve the children in the wedding ceremony and reception by giving them roles such as flower girl, ring bearer, usher, or guest book manager.
Communication with Guests
Once you have decided on your childcare plans, be sure to communicate them clearly to your guests. You can indicate whether children are invited on the wedding invitation, and provide details on your wedding website or through word of mouth. Be prepared for some guests to decline the invitation if they are unable or unwilling to leave their children behind.
Overall, providing childcare services at your wedding can be a thoughtful way to include families with children and ensure that both the children and their parents have a positive and enjoyable experience.
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Invitations and guest lists
If you're planning a wedding, one of the first things to decide is whether or not to invite children. It's a tricky area of wedding etiquette, and there are a few factors to consider. Children can be unpredictable, and you'll need to rely on their parents to keep them under control. You'll also need to think about how having kids in attendance will affect your wedding budget; you may need to arrange dedicated childcare services, for example.
On the other hand, issuing an outright ban on kids is likely to upset some guests, especially close family members with young children. Guests with children will also have to make plans for childcare ahead of time, which can be challenging for destination weddings.
If you do decide to invite children, it's important to be absolutely clear about this on your invitations or wedding website. One way to do this is to include the names of the children who are invited on the invitation. If your invitation has an inner envelope, the child's name should be written beneath their parents' names. You could also include a separate page about children on your wedding website, stating whether or not they are invited.
If you don't want children at your wedding, it's crucial to avoid using phrases like "no kids" or "no children" on your invitations, as this is considered rude and offensive. Instead, you could use phrases like “Adult Reception”, “Adults Only Reception” or “Adult-Only Ceremony and Reception" on your “save the date" cards. You can also indicate that children are not invited by omitting their names from the invitation and envelope.
If you're inviting some children but not others, it's important to be prepared for potential pushback or invitation rejections. You can avoid this by only inviting children with whom you have a close relationship. You should also be very clear about who is and isn't invited, to avoid any miscommunication. For example, you could state that only children in the wedding party and their siblings are invited, or that the venue isn't catered towards children and won't have babysitting facilities.
Finally, if you're inviting children, it's a good idea to provide some entertainment for them, such as a children's entertainer, tabletop activities during the reception, or a separate kids' room with babysitters, dinner service, movies and games. You could also work with your catering team to create a kid-friendly menu.
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Child-friendly entertainment
It's no secret that weddings can be a long and potentially dull experience for children. To avoid tears, tantrums and bored kids, it's a good idea to provide some child-friendly entertainment. Here are some suggestions to keep your little guests happy:
Child-friendly food and treats
Food is always a winner when it comes to keeping children happy. You could provide a mouthwatering kids' menu, or combine food with an activity, such as making s'mores. You could also fill goody bags with age-appropriate treats, or provide popcorn during the ceremony.
Toys, crafts and activities
Keep children entertained with toys, crafts and activities. Wedding-themed crafts such as decorating a cake, designing a wedding dress, or making cards for the happy couple will keep little hands busy. You could also provide colouring books, crayons, stickers, pipe cleaners, playdough and activity sheets. For older children, there are magnetic tiles, and for the very youngest guests, stuffed animals can be a great favour.
Games
There are lots of games that are perfect for weddings, such as sack races, scavenger hunts, and I Spy. Giant versions of classic games like Jenga, Connect4 and Twister are also great fun, and will keep multiple children (and adults!) entertained.
Entertainment
If your budget allows, you could hire professional children's entertainers, such as magicians, clowns or balloon modellers. You could also set up a movie area with comfy cushions and beanbags, and put on a kids' film. For something a bit different, you could hire a petting zoo, or invite children to pet some alpacas.
Music and dancing
Kids love to make some noise, so provide some play instruments and let them join in with the celebrations. You could also get the kids involved in a parade, with ribbon streamers and balloons, so they can share the spotlight with the happy couple.
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Food and drink
If you're inviting children to your wedding, it's a good idea to provide some child-friendly food options. Chicken fingers, mac 'n' cheese, sandwiches, sausage rolls, sliders, and chicken tenders and fries are all popular choices. You could also set up a make-your-own-sundae bar, which is sure to be a hit with kids. If you're unsure about what to serve, talk to your wedding caterer, who will be able to help you create a child-friendly menu.
Children have smaller appetites than adults, so you should ask your catering manager for a lower per-person price. It's also a good idea to ask if the kids can get their food early, especially at an evening reception, as children tend to eat earlier than adults. If you're on a budget, you could also consider a small buffet or individual meals with kid-friendly foods.
If you're inviting a lot of children, you might want to consider hiring a babysitter or childcare service. This can be an additional cost, but it will ensure your wedding day is stress-free. You could also provide parents with information about local babysitting services, especially if your wedding is a destination wedding.
If you don't want to provide a separate children's menu, you could let parents know that their children can eat from the venue's buffet or choose from the adult menu. However, this may be more expensive, and children may not want to eat the same food as adults.
If you're concerned about keeping children entertained during the reception, you can provide tabletop activities such as puzzles or colouring sheets. You could also give them small activity packs to keep them occupied during speeches.
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Etiquette and offence
It is important to remember that your wedding day is your day, and you have the right to have it your way. However, it is also crucial to follow proper wedding invitation etiquette and protocol to avoid offending anyone.
When it comes to inviting children to your wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, children can be unpredictable, and you will need to rely on their parents to take control. Additionally, you may need to arrange dedicated childcare services, which can add to your wedding budget. Issuing an all-out ban on kids is likely to cause offence to some guests, especially those with young children who may find it challenging to make alternative arrangements, particularly if your wedding is at a destination that is not local to them.
If you are set on having a purely adult reception, it is recommended to at least allow the flower girl and ring bearer to attend the cocktail hour and offer to find babysitters for the rest of the night. You could also make exceptions for children who are in the wedding party, such as junior bridesmaids or ushers, or for children within your close family, such as nieces and nephews.
When it comes to informing your guests of your decision, it is crucial to be clear about your policy on children. You can include this information in your wedding invitations or create a separate page on your wedding website. It is recommended to use traditional wedding etiquette to make this clarification without hurting anyone's feelings. Avoid using phrases such as "no kids" or "no children" on your invitations, as this is considered impolite and bad wedding etiquette. Instead, address only those who are invited by name, including children, on the invitation envelope. If you are having a separate reception, you can indicate an adult-only reception by writing "Adult Reception", "Adults Only Reception" or "Adult-Only Ceremony and Reception" on your "save the date" cards.
If you are inviting select children only, it is important to be prepared for potential declines and pushback from guests who are not allowed to bring their children. It is recommended to make a rule and stick to it, for example, only allowing immediate family to bring children, to avoid causing offence. You could also consider providing guests with the names and numbers of local babysitters.
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Frequently asked questions
It is entirely up to the couple getting married. Some people like to have children at their wedding, while others prefer to keep it adults-only.
It is important to be clear and direct when communicating your wedding guest list. Avoid using phrases like "no kids" or "no children" on your invitations. Instead, use traditional wedding invitation etiquette, such as only listing the names of those invited on the envelope. You can also include a separate card that says, "Adult Reception," "Adults-Only Reception," or "Adult-Only Ceremony and Reception."
It is generally considered impolite to state "select children only" on your invitations. Instead, address the invitations to everyone you want to invite by name, including children. You can also state on your website or RSVP cards that only named guests are invited.
You can hire a children's entertainer to perform before your wedding band. You can also provide tabletop activities during the reception, such as puzzles or colouring sheets. Another option is to set up a separate kids' room with babysitters, dinner service, movies, and games.
Work with your catering team to create a simple, kid-friendly menu. Children aged 13 and up should be able to eat adult food, but it is a good idea to check with their parents ahead of time.
