Who Should Be In Your Wedding Party?

Bridesmaids and maids of honor are members of the bride's party at some traditional Western wedding ceremonies. While they are not required, they are tasked with supporting the bride and helping to plan the wedding and any pre-wedding events. The maid of honor, or matron of honor if married, is the bride's chief attendant and is usually a close friend or relative. The role of the bridesmaids and maids of honor is steeped in tradition, with some citing its origins in the biblical story of Jacob and his two wives, Leah and Rachel, who both came with their own maids.

Planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party

Planning the Bridal Shower:

The bridal shower is a party held in honor of the bride-to-be, usually a few weeks to a few months before the wedding. It is an opportunity for the bride's family and friends to gather, celebrate, and offer gifts and encouragement to the bride as she prepares for married life.

Guest List and Invitations:

The guest list for the bridal shower typically includes the bridal party, the couple's family, and close friends. It is important to ensure that only people invited to the wedding are invited to the bridal shower. Invitations should be sent out four to six weeks in advance and include the bride's name, date, time, location, registry information, RSVP details, and the names of the hosts.

Timing and Location:

The bridal shower usually takes place a month or a couple of weeks before the wedding. If the bride lives close to her hometown, the shower can be held there. Otherwise, it may be more convenient to choose a location where most guests live to minimize travel for the bride.

Theme and Decorations:

While not necessary, choosing a theme for the bridal shower can add a personal touch and make planning easier. Themes can range from rustic décor to a spa day or a Parisian-inspired affair. Decorations can include floral and balloon installations and a photo backdrop for memorable pictures.

Food and Drinks:

The food and drinks served at the bridal shower will depend on the theme and time of day. For example, a brunch affair would include mimosas and breakfast foods. It is important to accommodate any dietary restrictions noted by guests on their RSVPs.

Games and Activities:

Games and activities are a fun way to break the ice and engage guests at the bridal shower. Traditional games include gift bingo and designing wedding dresses with toilet paper. Alternatively, you can plan activities such as a spa day or a calligraphy lesson.

Planning the Bachelorette Party:

The bachelorette party is the bride's last hurrah with her closest friends before her wedding. It is typically a more raucous and glamorous event, often involving travel, a hotel stay, drinking, partying, and fun games.

Guest List:

The guest list for the bachelorette party includes the bridal party and sometimes a few extra close friends. It is reserved for those the bride feels comfortable doing almost anything in front of without judgment.

Timing and Location:

The bachelorette party usually takes place a few months before the wedding to give the bride time to refresh before her big day. It can span an entire weekend or be a one-night celebration.

Activities:

The activities for the bachelorette party can include clubbing, party buses, bar hopping, drinking games, and wearing themed outfits. It is an opportunity for the bride and her friends to let loose and create lasting memories.

Combining the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party:

Combining the bridal shower and bachelorette party can save money and make logistics easier for guests, especially those traveling long distances. Here are some tips for planning a combined event:

Guest List and Budget:

A combined event may result in a larger guest list, so it is important to consider your budget and the bride's preferences. Communicate with guests about their budget constraints and tailor the event accordingly.

Agenda and Activities:

Brainstorm a list of activities that the bride would appreciate and narrow it down to ensure the day is not overwhelming for guests. Consider the bride's personality and preferences when selecting activities, such as skipping gift-opening if she is introverted.

Invitations and Communication:

Clearly communicate the combined event to guests through invitations. Provide a brief summary of the day's events and set expectations to ensure guests know what to expect.

Final Thoughts:

Keeping the bridal suite tidy

Before the Wedding

It is important to establish clear communication with the bridal party, including the bride and other bridesmaids, in the months leading up to the wedding. As the maid of honour, you can take the lead in creating a group chat via email or text to facilitate introductions and initial conversations. This early coordination will make it easier to collaborate and divide tasks later on.

On the Wedding Day

The maid of honour should ensure that the bridal suite is kept tidy throughout the day, especially when the bridesmaids are getting ready. Here are some specific tasks and responsibilities to consider:

• Assist with the bride's needs: Help the bride get dressed, ensuring that everything she needs, from undergarments to shoes and jewellery, is laid out in advance. Offer to assist with hair and makeup, and be prepared to lend a hand with any last-minute adjustments.
• Manage the bridal party's belongings: Keep track of the bridesmaids' belongings and encourage them to remove their things from the bridal suite once they are finished getting ready. This will help ensure that the suite stays organised and clutter-free.
• Provide refreshments: Offer snacks and drinks, such as water and protein-rich options, to the bridal party to keep their energy up throughout the day.
• Maintain a calm atmosphere: Play music, share funny stories, or do whatever is needed to keep the mood light and positive. This is especially important if the bride starts to feel stressed or anxious.
• Keep the bride's dress safe: After the ceremony, assist the bride in carefully removing her dress and store it safely, ensuring it doesn't get damaged or misplaced.
• Facilitate a celebration: Pop a bottle of champagne and propose a toast to celebrate the occasion with the entire bridal party before the ceremony begins.
• Support the mother of the bride: Lend a hand to the mother of the bride with her hair, makeup, and any other needs she may have. Offer her refreshments and include her in the celebrations.
• Capture memories: If the bride is open to the idea, take some behind-the-scenes photos or videos of the bridal party getting ready. These candid moments can be cherished for years to come.

Remember, as the maid of honour, your primary role is to support the bride and ensure her comfort and happiness throughout the day. By keeping the bridal suite tidy and organised, you contribute to a stress-free environment for the bride to enjoy her special day.

Supporting the bride emotionally

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a stressful experience. The bride will likely be under a lot of pressure, so it's important that her bridesmaids are there to support her emotionally. Here are some ways in which bridesmaids can provide emotional support:

Be there for the bride

Planning a wedding can be a stressful experience, so it's important to be there for the bride when tensions are running high. Bridesmaids should be supportive, proactive, and positive, offering help early on and throughout the entire planning process. It's also important to remember that each bride is different and may have distinct expectations.

Provide moral support

Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful, so moral support is vital. Bridesmaids should be there for the bride when she needs to vent or seek advice. It's also important to remember that the bride is likely to be dealing with a lot of pressure and anxiety, so providing a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear can make a big difference.

Help with wedding planning

Bridesmaids can help reduce the bride's stress by being involved in the wedding planning process. This could include helping with pre-wedding events such as the bachelorette party or bridal shower, as well as more practical tasks such as addressing invitations or making decorations.

Be mindful of the bride's needs

On the day of the wedding, it's important that the bride feels calm and relaxed. Bridesmaids can help by making sure the bride has everything she needs, from snacks and water to a helping hand with her dress or makeup. It's also important to keep an eye on the bride's emotions and provide a soothing presence if she feels overwhelmed.

Keep the energy positive

The bride will likely be feeling a range of emotions on her wedding day, from excitement and happiness to anxiety and stress. Bridesmaids can help by keeping the energy positive and upbeat, celebrating the bride, and ensuring she feels cherished and supported.

Go the extra mile

Finally, it's important to remember that being a bridesmaid is about more than just showing up on the day of the wedding. It's about being there for the bride throughout the entire planning process, providing support, and going the extra mile to ensure she feels loved and celebrated.

Ensuring the bride eats and drinks

Before the Wedding

It is common for brides to forget to eat or avoid eating due to fear of bloating. However, eating a nutritious breakfast is essential to keeping the bride's energy levels up. It is the maid of honor's responsibility to remind the bride to eat and ensure she has a balanced meal. This could include protein, fruits, vegetables, and complex carbohydrates. For example, oatmeal, yogurt parfait with nuts and granola, peanut butter toast with fruit, or a whole-grain bagel with light cream cheese.

Throughout the Day

The maid of honor should periodically check in with the bride to see if she needs a snack or something to drink. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget about eating, but a protein-rich snack can help fend off hunger and keep energy levels stable. Some light snack options include dried fruit and nuts, string cheese and whole wheat crackers, fresh fruit like bananas, apples, peaches, or oranges, or a protein smoothie.

During the Wedding

The maid of honor can also ensure the bride eats during the wedding by having her served her meal first, so she can eat before mingling with guests. Another option is to have a table just for the bride and her spouse, making it easier to eat without distractions. The maid of honor can also encourage the bride to eat whenever the guests are eating, even if it's just a few bites.

Staying Hydrated

In addition to eating, the maid of honor should also remind the bride to drink water throughout the day. Staying hydrated is crucial to maintaining energy and preventing hangovers, especially if the bride is drinking alcohol. The maid of honor can also suggest flat water or water-filled foods like watermelon, cucumbers, and citrus to help with hydration.

In summary, ensuring the bride eats and drinks is an important task for the maid of honor or bridesmaids. By providing reminders, snacks, and encouragement, they can help the bride stay energized and focused throughout her wedding day.

Helping the bride get dressed

Before the Wedding

It is common for bridesmaids to accompany the bride to her dress fittings and offer their honest opinions. They can also help by taking photos of the various dresses tried on and keeping track of the bride's opinions of each. This is especially useful if she is deciding between two designs, as photos can help with making a final decision. Bridesmaids can also assist the bride in choosing her shoes and accessories to match her dream dress.

On the Wedding Day

On the morning of the wedding, the maid of honor or bridesmaids should ensure that everything is laid out in advance for the bride, from undergarments to shoes, jewelry, and any other accessories. They can also assist the bride with getting dressed, making sure everything is in place, and helping with any last-minute touch-ups. It is also common for the maid of honor to hold the bride's bouquet as she walks down the aisle and to help the bride with any dress adjustments in the restroom.

Additional Tips

• Be present and offer support throughout the entire process, from the planning stages to the fittings and final adjustments.
• Help the bride stay organized and on track with a general timeline for dress-related tasks, including any alterations and shipping times.
• Offer to bring champagne or the bride's favorite bubbly to fittings to make the process more enjoyable and celebratory.
• Remember to have fun and celebrate this special moment with the bride!

Frequently asked questions