Dad's Attendance At The Wedding: Rsvp?

It's your wedding, and you should be surrounded by people who love and support you. If your father's partner is not one of those people, then she shouldn't be there. If your father chooses not to attend, that's his choice, but it's not fair of him to put you in this position.

My dad left my mom for another woman and I don't want her at my wedding

It is completely understandable that you would not want your father's new partner at your wedding. Your father's decision to leave your mother for another woman has understandably left you feeling shocked, sad, and grieving. It is important to remember that you are not responsible for your father's actions or your mother's well-being. You may be feeling a sense of burden and complexity as you navigate your relationships with both your parents.

• Recognize that you are not responsible for your parents' actions or their well-being. While you can offer support, you are not the answer to all their needs.
• Take responsibility for your emotions and seek support for yourself. Find someone you trust to talk to, such as a good friend, counsellor, or relative. This will help you process the complex emotions you are experiencing.
• Communicate honestly with your parents. If you choose to maintain a relationship with your father, be prepared to face him with your feelings, hurt, and questions. However, be aware that engaging in this way may also signal the end of your relationship with him if he proves to be careless and insensitive.
• Establish clear boundaries with your parents, especially if you feel they are trying to manipulate or control you. It is important to prioritize your relationship with your spouse and create healthy boundaries with your parents.
• Seek your parents' wisdom and advice while maintaining your right to make final decisions. Consult your spouse before seeking input from your parents, and be diligent in preventing any reestablishment of dependence on them.
• Be sensitive to your parents' needs, especially if they are single or in a difficult situation. Make your love and commitment clear while also switching your primary allegiance to your spouse.

Remember, it is okay to not want your father's new partner at your wedding. You can choose to have an honest conversation with your father about your feelings and set clear boundaries. Prioritize your relationship with your spouse and take care of your own emotional well-being during this challenging time.

My mom won't come to my wedding if my dad's new wife is there

It is your wedding, and you should be able to invite whoever you want. However, it is understandable that you do not want to deal with the drama of your mother and your father's new wife being in the same room. It is also understandable that you do not want to exclude either of them.

You could try talking to your mother and explaining that you want both of them to be there, and that you do not expect them to interact. You could also try to seat them as far away from each other as possible. If your mother still refuses to come, you could try to explain to her that you want her there, and that you would be heartbroken if she did not attend. You could also try to get her to go to therapy to help her move past the drama.

If your mother still refuses to come, you could try to get her to help with the wedding planning since she will not be there. You could also try to get security for your wedding in case she does come and has to be removed.

If you do not want to deal with the drama, you could elope instead of having a wedding. You could also try to have a wedding without your parents there.

My dad won't come to my wedding if I don't invite his new wife

It is your wedding, and you can invite whoever you want. However, it is important to be aware of the consequences of your decisions. If you do not invite your father, you may damage your relationship with him, and your mother may not attend either. You could try to have a conversation with your father and explain that you would like him to come, but that you are worried about his behaviour. You could also try to have a conversation with your mother and explain that you want both of them to be there, and that you hope she will be able to put aside her feelings for one day.

My mom is paying for the wedding

It's your wedding day, and you want both your parents to be there. But your dad is giving you an ultimatum: invite his partner or he won't attend. Your mom, who is paying for the wedding, has made it clear that if your dad's partner is there, she won't be. You're caught between a rock and a hard place, and it's causing you a lot of stress.

First of all, it's important to recognise that your dad is being unfair and selfish. He wasn't around much when you were growing up, and now he's putting his own desires ahead of your happiness on your wedding day. It's also important to remember that your mom has been there for you and is now financing your wedding. She has legitimate reasons for not wanting to be around your dad's partner, and you should respect that.

You've already tried to explain the situation to your dad, and he's refused to compromise. At this point, it's up to him to decide whether his relationship with his partner is more important than attending his daughter's wedding. You should stand by your mom, who has been a consistent source of support in your life.

• Have a heart-to-heart with your mom: Explain to her how much you want her to be at your wedding, and that you're caught between her and your dad. Let her know that you understand her position and are willing to respect her wishes.
• Stand your ground with your dad: Be firm and clear that you want him at your wedding, but that you won't be inviting his partner out of respect for your mom. Don't let him emotionally manipulate you or make you feel guilty.
• Inform your dad's partner, if necessary: If you have a good relationship with her, you may want to explain the situation to her as well. Let her know that you would love to have her there, but your hands are tied due to the circumstances.
• Prepare for the possibility of your dad not attending: While it's a difficult reality to face, accept that your dad may choose not to come. It's his loss, and you shouldn't let it ruin your big day.
• Seek support from others: Lean on your fiancé, friends, and other family members who are happy to celebrate with you. Their presence will help fill any void left by your dad's absence.
• Consider eloping: If the stress becomes too much, consider eloping or having a small private wedding. This may be a way to avoid the conflict altogether and allow you to focus on your happiness.

Remember, your wedding day is about you and your fiancé. Don't let your dad's ultimatum take away from the joy and celebration of this special day. Stand by your mom, who has been a constant source of love and support in your life.

My dad cheated on my mom and I don't want to upset her

It can be incredibly difficult to cope with a parent's affair. You might feel numb, intensely emotional, or just feel like your world has been flipped onto its head. It can be even harder if you normally turn to your family for support, because you might feel like you have nobody.

It is okay to feel angry, sad, hurt, or confused. It is also okay to not feel anything at all. Everyone reacts differently to these situations.

If you feel comfortable, you could try talking to your dad about this and see how he feels. It is okay to tell your parent that you are upset. An affair can shatter what you thought your family looked like, and you might be feeling a whirlwind of emotions about all of it. While you don’t want your emotions to overpower the discussion, it can help to express your feelings to your parent using “I” language: “I feel [emotion], because [reason].”

For example, you could say: “You’re such a big role model to me, so I’m really hurt by the fact that you’re cheating on Mom. I feel like I can’t trust you, because I feel lied to, and that’s not the kind of relationship with you that I want.”

Remember that your feelings are valid, and you are not obligated to forgive your dad. You can decide how you want to handle your relationship with him moving forward. It might be helpful to seek support from friends, mentors, teachers, or other people you trust during this time.

If you feel that your mental health is suffering, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor to work through your feelings.

Frequently asked questions