Big Fat Wedding, Big Fat Headache: Why I Loathe Lavish Nuptials

Big weddings are the worst. They're awkward, expensive, and a lot of pressure. You have to invite people you barely know, and the whole thing can feel like a competition. Why spend $30k on a single day when you could spend that money on something else? It's not even your day anymore, it's about everyone else. You spend the whole time thanking people for coming and performing traditions you hate, like the bouquet toss. And don't even get me started on the food and booze—they cost a bomb but are usually mediocre at best. It's no wonder that so many people are choosing to elope or have a small wedding instead.

They're expensive

Big weddings are expensive. From celebrities to billionaires, couples have splurged on their weddings, spending up to eight figures. For example, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding celebration is estimated to have cost at least $2.8 million. The venue alone cost $400,000, and they spent half a million dollars on hotel accommodations for their 200 guests.

The cost of a wedding can quickly add up, especially when it comes to food and drinks. The food at big weddings can be mediocre, despite the high cost. For instance, one user on Mumsnet recalled a wedding with over 400 guests where the food was bland and served on mismatching plates. Another user described a wedding where the food tasted "meh", despite costing the couple a "bomb".

The venue is another significant expense. Couples may choose to rent a castle, a hotel, or a luxurious estate for their big day, which can cost thousands of dollars. For instance, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas's wedding at the Plaza Hotel in New York City reportedly cost between $1.5 and $2 million.

Decorations and flowers can also add to the cost. Some couples spend a significant amount on flowers, with one couple in the example spending $75,000 on florals alone. Chair covers can also be expensive, with one user mentioning chair covers that cost £25 each.

Lastly, entertainment can be a major expense. Some couples hire multiple musical performers, such as bands or famous singers, which can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. For example, Sargis Karapetyan and Salome Kintsurashvili's wedding featured a performance by Maroon 5, which reportedly cost between $500,000 and $800,000.

It's awkward

Big weddings are often filled with people you barely know. You might be acquainted with the bride and groom, but they will be busy and you will likely not get much time with them. You might be seated next to people you have nothing in common with, or only know the couple and no one else. It can be hard to make conversation with strangers, especially when you are expected to be happy and excited.

There is also the pressure to dance and join in with the festivities, which can be uncomfortable for those who are socially anxious or introverted. The pressure to be happy and celebrate can be overwhelming, and it can be difficult to leave early when you are tired or want to go home. It can be a long day, and the expectation to stay until the end can be exhausting.

There is also the issue of gifts. It can be awkward deciding what to give as a gift, and some couples even ask for cash, which can feel like paying for a ticket to the event. It is also awkward when the food and drinks are mediocre, as you often can't get your own due to the remote locations of some weddings.

All in all, big weddings can be very awkward for those who are not fans of socialising or being around large groups of people.

The pressure to dance

The Pressure to Perform

Dancing in front of a crowd can be nerve-wracking, especially if you feel like all eyes are on you. It's natural to worry about making a mistake or not living up to expectations. This pressure is intensified at big weddings, where there are more guests and, potentially, more people you don't know. The feeling of being judged can be intimidating and take away from your enjoyment of the celebration.

Lack of Dance Skills

Not everyone is a natural dancer, and the idea of having to dance at a wedding can be stressful if you don't know the moves. You might worry about looking silly or embarrassing yourself. This pressure is heightened at big weddings, where there may be a larger dance floor and more people to dance with, increasing the chances of feeling self-conscious about your dancing abilities.

Social Anxiety

For people with social anxiety, the thought of dancing at a big wedding can be terrifying. Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is characterized by overwhelming anxiety and self-consciousness in everyday social situations. The idea of being the centre of attention during a dance can trigger intense fear and discomfort. Big weddings can exacerbate these feelings due to the larger number of guests and the potential for more unfamiliar faces.

Tips to Ease the Pressure:

• Choose a slow dance: Opting for a slow, romantic dance can take some of the pressure off. You can embrace your partner, whisper to each other, and focus on enjoying the moment rather than performing complex moves.
• Practice makes perfect: If you're worried about your dancing skills, consider taking dance lessons or practising at home. Learning some basic steps and getting comfortable with the rhythm can boost your confidence on the dance floor.
• Get everyone involved: One way to reduce the pressure is to invite all the couples to join you on the dance floor. This way, you're not the sole focus, and you can enjoy the moment with your loved ones.
• Alternative activities: If dancing really isn't your thing, there are other ways to celebrate. Consider a group sing-along, a conga line, or a fun group dance like a ceilidh. You could even have a surprise wedding mashup, starting with a slow dance and then transitioning to an upbeat number with snazzy choreography.
• Focus on the couple: Remember, the wedding is about the couple and their happiness. If you're feeling anxious about dancing, try to shift your focus to celebrating the newlyweds. Raise a toast, wish them well, and use the power of positive thinking to ease your worries.

The food and drinks are mediocre

Big weddings can be a nightmare, and the food and drinks served are often mediocre at best. While some people might enjoy the occasional rubber chicken banquet option, most wedding food is unmemorable. It's not uncommon to hear people complain about dry chicken, overcooked pasta, or flavourless dishes. Even when the food is expensive, it doesn't always taste good.

There are a few reasons why wedding food tends to be mediocre. Firstly, it can be challenging to serve perfectly cooked food to a large number of people all at the same time. The food is often prepared in bulk, which can lead to it being dry, soggy, or bland. Additionally, wedding venues may have limited menu options that sound elegant on paper but are boring and uninspiring in reality.

Another issue is that people have different tastes and dietary restrictions, so it can be challenging to please everyone. Some people might enjoy the food, while others might find it unappealing. This can be especially tricky when it comes to cultural or speciality dishes that not everyone is familiar with.

To make matters worse, the food served at weddings is often overpriced. Couples spend a fortune on catering, only to be disappointed by the mediocre quality. It's frustrating to pay a premium for food that doesn't taste good.

However, there are some ways to improve the food and drinks at big weddings. One option is to choose a unique or memorable venue, such as a food truck or a local restaurant known for its delicious cuisine. This can add a fun and unexpected element to the wedding and ensure that the food is fresh and tasty.

Another idea is to focus on the appetizers and desserts rather than the main course. Couples can offer a variety of tasty appetisers and delicious desserts, ensuring that guests have plenty of options to choose from. This way, even if the main course is mediocre, the overall food experience can be enjoyable.

Ultimately, while big weddings can be disappointing when it comes to food and drinks, there are ways to improve the situation. By choosing unique venues, offering a variety of appetisers and desserts, and prioritising flavour and freshness, couples can ensure that their guests have a memorable dining experience.

It's a hassle to get to

Big weddings are a hassle to get to, both literally and metaphorically. Firstly, there's the physical challenge of reaching the venue. With larger weddings, the happy couple often chooses a location that is special to them, which can mean travelling long distances or even overseas. This adds a whole extra layer of complexity to the day, with guests having to arrange transport and accommodation, and often taking time off work. It's a big ask, especially if you have other commitments or are on a tight budget.

Then there's the emotional journey of attending a big wedding. As a guest, you may feel pressured to perform a certain way. There's the expectation that you'll be excited and happy for the couple, and if you're not feeling it, it can be exhausting to feign enthusiasm. Not to mention the pressure to dance, to socialise, and to make polite conversation with strangers. For introverts or those with social anxiety, this can be a daunting prospect.

The financial burden of attending a far-flung wedding can also be a source of stress. There's the cost of travel, accommodation, new outfits, and gifts. It all adds up, and it can be a challenge to juggle these expenses, especially if you have multiple weddings in one year. It's no wonder that some people dread the arrival of wedding season.

And let's not forget the time commitment involved in attending a big wedding. It's not just the wedding day itself, but all the associated events like bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and rehearsal dinners. These extra celebrations can eat into your free time and leave you feeling stretched thin, especially if you have to travel for each one.

Lastly, big weddings can be a hassle because they often come with a set of unspoken rules and expectations. There's an assumption that you'll be available and willing to participate in all the festivities, and if you're not, it can cause friction with the couple or other guests. It's a tricky situation, as you don't want to disappoint anyone, but at the same time, you're conscious of your own limits and preferences.

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