Weddings And Whys: Single Blues And Happiness

Attending a wedding as a single person can be a depressing experience. It's normal to feel left out or not included, and this can trigger feelings of anxiety and rejection. Social comparison is also a factor, as witnessing someone else's relationship milestone can lead to comparing your life to theirs. The pressure to fit in with a group is a result of our evolutionary past, where not belonging could have meant death. Furthermore, the fairytale idea of love and the materialistic display of wealth at weddings can intensify feelings of depression for single people.

Weddings can make you feel left out and heighten the sense of not keeping up with your peer group

Weddings can be a reminder of your relationship status and can make you feel left out if you are single. Attending a wedding alone can be a lonely experience, especially if you are surrounded by couples. You might feel like you are missing out on a significant life milestone, and this can heighten the sense of not keeping up with your peer group.

The pressure to fit in and be included is not just a social construct; it is deeply rooted in our evolutionary past. According to behavioural scientist Mariana Bockarova, PhD, humans have evolved to want to fit in with a group. In hunter-gatherer societies, not fitting in could have meant being left behind and facing death. While feeling left out at a wedding might not be a matter of life and death, we still experience that sense of anxiety about not being included.

The feeling of being left out can be particularly acute if you are part of the wedding party. Being a bridesmaid or groomsman means you are constantly in the spotlight, and it can be challenging to be the only single person in a group of couples. You might feel like you are on display and that your relationship status is under scrutiny. This can be uncomfortable and make you feel like you are being judged or pitied.

Additionally, weddings tend to be highly emotional events, filled with love and joy. If you are already feeling down about your relationship status, being surrounded by happy couples can heighten those feelings of loneliness and depression. It is natural to compare yourself to others, and seeing your peers in committed relationships can make you feel like you are falling behind or missing out.

It is important to remember that everyone's life path is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all timeline for relationships and marriage. It is also crucial to evaluate your relationship status based on your own standards and not solely through the lens of social comparison. While it is normal to feel a sense of sadness or loneliness at weddings, it should not consume you. If you find yourself constantly feeling depressed and anxious about your relationship status, it may be helpful to reach out to a trusted friend or a mental health professional.

They breed the tendency for comparing your life to someone else's

Weddings are joyous occasions to celebrate love and togetherness. However, they can evoke a sense of sadness and depression, especially for those who are single. One reason for this is the tendency to compare one's life to that of the happy couple. This social comparison can lead to feelings of not measuring up or not keeping up with one's peer group.

The human need to belong and be included is deeply rooted in our evolutionary past. In hunter-gatherer societies, fitting in with a group was crucial for survival, and not belonging could mean being left behind and facing death. While not being invited to a wedding or being single at one may not have such severe consequences today, our brains still respond to rejection or perceived rejection with a sense of anxiety.

At weddings, we witness a couple's happiest moments and relationship milestones. We see the fancy dresses, the makeup, and the public display of affection and wealth. However, we don't see the fights or the not-so-nice parts of their relationship. Comparing these highlight reels to the complexities of our own relationships or single lives can lead to feelings of dejection and a sense of lacking.

The fairytale idea of love and the materialistic nature of weddings can also intensify this comparison. We tend to view weddings as a couple's "big day," a chance to showcase their happiness and commitment. The extravagant celebrations and displays of wealth can make it challenging to avoid comparing their lives to ours, leading to feelings of inadequacy and depression.

It's important to remember that weddings present a curated version of a couple's relationship and that every relationship has its ups and downs. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should evaluate our relationships based on our own standards and priorities. While it's natural to feel a sense of longing or sadness at weddings, especially if you're single, it's crucial to maintain perspective and focus on what truly matters to us as individuals.

They can be depressing no matter your relationship status

Weddings are meant to be joyous occasions to celebrate love and togetherness. However, they can also be a source of stress and leave people feeling depressed, regardless of their relationship status.

Social Comparison

According to behavioural scientist Mariana Bockarova, PhD, humans have a tendency to compare their lives to those of others, especially during milestone events like weddings. This "social comparison" can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression, as people may feel like they are not measuring up to the happiness or relationship success of the couple getting married.

Inclusion and Rejection

As social animals, humans have a fundamental desire to be included, which can be triggered during weddings. Not being invited to a wedding, not being part of the bridal party, or attending as a single person can all evoke feelings of rejection and heighten the sense of not fitting in or keeping up with peers. This can activate a visceral anxiety response, as our brains struggle to understand that not being included does not equate to imminent danger or isolation.

Fairytale Idea of Love

Weddings are often steeped in fairytale ideas of love and perfection, creating unrealistic expectations. The emphasis on materialism and wealth display can further intensify feelings of inadequacy or depression, especially if one is already struggling with financial stress or relationship difficulties.

Post-Wedding Blues

The post-wedding period can also trigger feelings of depression, as the excitement and anticipation of the wedding give way to the reality of married life. This can be a challenging adjustment period, and individuals may experience a sense of loss for their previous life, heightened family tensions, and financial strain.

Strategies for Coping

To cope with wedding-related depression, it is important to remember that weddings present a curated version of happiness and that comparing oneself to this unrealistic standard is unproductive. Focusing on personal relationship standards and engaging in self-care activities, such as regular exercise and relaxation techniques, can help alleviate depressive symptoms. Additionally, seeking support from friends and maintaining open communication with one's partner can aid in navigating the transition to married life.

They can make you feel like you're missing out on love and commitment

Weddings are joyous occasions to celebrate love and togetherness. However, they can evoke feelings of sadness and depression, especially if you're single. Attending a wedding as a single person can intensify feelings of not keeping up with your peers, leaving you feeling dejected and anxious about not being included. This sense of exclusion stems from our evolutionary past, where not fitting in with a group could have meant being left behind and facing potential dangers alone.

Being single at a wedding can make you feel like you're missing out on love and commitment. You might compare your relationship status to the happy couple, feeling that you are somehow lacking or inadequate. It's important to remember that weddings showcase the best moments of a relationship, and it's unfair to compare those highlights to the everyday realities of your own life. Relationships have their ups and downs, and it's normal to experience conflict and challenges.

The emphasis on romance and celebration at weddings can highlight what you perceive to be missing from your life. It's natural to want love and commitment, and seeing others achieve this milestone can make you question your own path. You might wonder if there is something wrong with you for not being in a relationship or worry that you are falling behind your peers. These feelings are common, and it's essential to recognize that everyone's journey is unique.

The pressure to fit in and find a partner can be overwhelming, especially if you feel like you're the only single person in your social circle. It's important to remember that everyone's timeline is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all path to finding love and commitment. Some people find their partners early, while others take more time. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or that you are unworthy of love.

If you find yourself feeling depressed about your relationship status after attending a wedding, it's crucial to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Cultivate self-love and compassion, and remember that your worth is not defined by your relationship status. Engage in activities that bring you joy and surround yourself with supportive friends and family who celebrate you for who you are.

They can be overwhelming due to the stress of planning and high expectations

Planning a wedding can be an overwhelming and stressful experience. The process is often time-consuming, expensive, and fraught with challenges, which can trigger disagreements and increase financial pressures. Engaged couples may struggle to balance the demands of wedding planning with self-care and adequate rest, leaving them vulnerable to stress and depression.

The stress of planning a wedding can be particularly intense due to the high expectations and sense of anticipation surrounding the event. The wedding day is often portrayed as the happiest day of a couple's life, and there is a lot of pressure to create a perfect, fairytale-like celebration. This can be overwhelming for couples, especially if they are also dealing with family conflict, financial concerns, or other life stressors.

The lead-up to the wedding can be a time of meticulous planning, with every detail requiring attention. From choosing dresses and jewellery to selecting music and planning the honeymoon, the pressure to create a memorable and special day can be immense. This can be further exacerbated by the pressure to keep up with social norms and expectations, such as the idea of finding a "perfect soulmate" or the need to display wealth and happiness through extravagant celebrations.

Additionally, weddings can be emotionally charged events, and it is common for couples to feel a range of emotions during the planning process and on the wedding day itself. While there is often joy and excitement, there may also be feelings of anxiety, sadness, or even depression. The stress and high expectations surrounding weddings can be overwhelming and contribute to these emotions.

It's important to recognize that the stress of planning and high expectations surrounding weddings can impact not only the couple getting married but also their friends and family members involved in the process. The sense of anticipation and desire for perfection can affect everyone involved, and it is normal for people to feel a range of emotions before, during, and after the wedding.

Frequently asked questions