Franklin Dean
Muslim weddings are steeped in rich traditions and rituals that vary according to the couple's religious beliefs and country of origin. One notable aspect of Muslim weddings is the practice of asking the bride three times if she consents to the marriage. This tradition, known as ijab-kabul, ensures the bride is a willing participant and gives her the opportunity to accept the marriage terms. The groom is then asked for his commitment, and both parties respond with Qubool or I accept three times, sealing their union. This ritual is a fundamental part of the Nikah ceremony, which also includes readings from the Quran, signing of the marriage contract, and various other customs.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Purpose | To ensure the bride is a willing participant and that she really wants to get married |
| Who is asked | The bride |
| Who does the asking | The officiant, possibly an Imam, or the father of the bride |
| What is asked | If the bride is willing to marry the groom |
| Response | "Qubool" or "Quubool Hai", meaning "I accept" or "I do" |
| Number of times asked | Three |
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What You'll Learn
Consent and commitment
During the nikah ceremony, the Imam or Maulvi recites verses from the Quran and offers a prayer of blessing for the couple. The couple's responses of "Quubool Hai" or "Qubool" ("I do" or "I accept" in Arabic) signify their consent and commitment to the marriage. This exchange is repeated three times to validate the union and seal the marriage terms.
The nikah ceremony also includes the signing of the marriage contract, which legally binds the couple together. This contract outlines the obligations and expectations of the husband and wife, as guided by Islamic laws and practices specified in the Quran. While there are no traditional wedding vows exchanged during the ceremony, the couple's consent and commitment are expressed through their responses of "Quubool" and the signing of the contract.
In addition to the nikah ceremony, there are other pre-wedding and post-wedding rituals that are part of a Muslim wedding. One pre-wedding ritual is the Salatul Ishtikara, a special prayer where the couple seeks Allah's consent, blessings, guidance, and a happy home. This prayer is recognized as the official notification of marriage to the community. The importance of consent and commitment is further emphasized by the fact that forced marriages, where consent has not been freely given, are not allowed in Islam.
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Vows and validation
Muslim weddings are steeped in tradition and ritual, with practices varying according to the couple's religious beliefs and country of origin. While there are no wedding vows in the traditional sense, the bride is asked three times if she is willing to marry the groom, to ensure she is a willing participant. This is known as ijab-kabul. The groom then accepts the bride from her father, and the father must ask his daughter if she truly loves the groom and wants him to be her husband.
The Nikah ceremony is the major wedding ritual, where the marriage is solemnized. The Imam or Maulvi reads verses from the Quran and recites a prayer of blessing for the couple. The Maulvi or the Imam, who acts as the officiant, then asks the bride for her consent to the marriage. If she agrees, she replies, "Quubool Hai" or "Qubool" ("I do" or "I accept") three times. The groom is then asked for his commitment, and he also replies "Quubool Hai" three times.
The Nikah ceremony is usually held in a mosque, and the location and the officiant depend on the couple's preferences and beliefs. The bride and groom may sit together with a curtain between them, or in separate rooms. The groom and his family give the bride the mahr, and the elders agree on the amount the groom is obliged to pay. The bride and groom then sign the marriage contract, which is witnessed and makes their union official.
The wedding sermon, or Khutbat Al-Haajah, comprises three verses from the Quran and one Hadith. The officiant may read this alone or with the guests' assistance, and at the end, the minister and attendees will pray for the couple. This is known as the Durud ritual, and it is vital to bless the newlyweds and pray for them. The couple may read the vows or listen to the officiant reading them out. The marriage agreement is then read out, and the spouses and witnesses sign it.
The first post-wedding ritual is the Arsi Mushraf, where the newlyweds sit next to each other with their heads covered and a mirror and the Quran placed between them. They are allowed to see each other's reflection for the first time after the Nikah. The men and women are then separated, and dinner is served. The couple reads prayers, still seated next to each other with their heads covered.
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Blessings and prayers
The Salatul Ishtikara is a special prayer recognized as the official notification of marriage to the community. The couple and the religious heads of the community take part in this prayer, asking Allah for his consent, blessings, guidance, and a happy home. This is considered the first and most important pre-wedding ritual.
After the Nikah is concluded, a Du'a is recited to ask for a blessing of the marriage, following the advice of the Prophet Muhammad: "When one of you marries, let him say: 'May Allah bless you and unite you in goodness.'" The newlyweds are then led to a private space to see each other for the first time, with a mirror and the Holy Quran placed between them. They are then told to read some prayers.
The Surah Fatiha is another prayer tradition where the Imam reads a verse from the Quran, either alone or with the guests' assistance. At the end of the ritual, the minister and attendees pray for the couple. The Walima, or wedding reception banquet, may also be considered a blessing as it is organized and paid for by the groom's family.
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Signing the contract
The signing of the marriage contract is a crucial part of a Muslim wedding. This is the moment when the couple's union is made official. The contract is signed after the Nikah ceremony, which involves the groom, the bride, one male relative of the bride (called the wali), two Muslim witnesses, and an officiant, who is usually an Imam. The location is often a mosque, but it can also take place in other venues such as a functional hall or a hotel, depending on the couple's preferences.
During the Nikah ceremony, the Imam or Maulvi reads some verses from the Quran and recites a prayer of blessing for the couple. The bride is then asked three times if she consents to the marriage. If she agrees, she replies, "Quubool Hai" or "Qubool", which translates to "I do" or "I accept". The same process is repeated for the groom. This tradition of asking for consent three times is an old custom to ensure the bride is a willing participant.
After the verbal consent, the marriage contract is signed. The contract is a written document that legally binds the bride and groom together. It is signed by the couple and the witnesses, finalising their union. From this point on, they are officially a married couple. The signing of the contract is a significant and sacred moment in a Muslim wedding, as Muslims believe that marriage is a commitment between the couple and Allah.
Following the signing of the contract, the wedding ceremony concludes with the Arsi Mushraf ritual. The newlywed couple sits next to each other with their heads covered by a veil or scarf, and a mirror and the Holy Quran placed between them. They are allowed to see each other's reflection in the mirror for the first time as a married couple. After this, the men and women are separated, and dinner is served to the couple and the guests.
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Wedding outfits
Muslim weddings are steeped in rich cultural elements, and the wedding outfits are no exception. The standard dress code varies depending on the couple's culture, with South Asian and Arab Muslim weddings being the most common. Here are some things to consider when planning your Muslim wedding outfit:
Bride and Groom Attire
Muslim wedding dresses and gowns for brides are designed to be modest yet elegant, with long sleeves and high necklines. These dresses can be styled with a hijab, headscarf, or veil and traditional Islamic jewellery. Grooms often wear kurta pajamas or sherwanis. The outfits are tailored to perfection, made to measure, and crafted with custom-made details.
Guest Attire
As a guest attending a Muslim wedding, it is important to understand the cultural norms and dress codes. Modest dressing is emphasized, so it is better to err on the side of caution. Avoid anything too tight, revealing, or sleeveless. Expect to cover your arms and legs, and opt for higher necklines. A scarf is also recommended in case you are required to cover your head. Kaftans and kurtas are excellent choices that check the boxes for modesty and comfort.
Cultural and Regional Influences
Muslim weddings incorporate cultural and regional influences, so expect to see a blend of traditional and modern styles. South Asian weddings often feature vibrant colours and intricate embroidery, while Arab weddings tend towards understated fashion and conservative dress.
Wedding Events
Muslim weddings often span multiple days and include various events such as the nikah ceremony, walima reception, and mehndi celebrations. The dress code may vary for each event, so it is essential to plan your outfits accordingly.
Practical Considerations
Muslim wedding ceremonies may involve sitting on the floor or removing shoes, so comfortable and easy-to-remove shoes are recommended. Flowy fabrics that drape nicely and allow for easy movement are also a good choice.
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Frequently asked questions
During the Nikah ceremony, the bride and groom are each asked three times if they consent to the marriage. The bride responds by saying "Quubool Hai" ("I do" or "I accept") and the groom says "Qubool". This is to ensure the bride and groom are willing participants and that they really want to get married.
The Nikah ceremony is the major wedding ceremony ritual in a Muslim wedding. It involves the groom, the bride, one male relative of the bride (called the wali), two Muslim witnesses, and an officiant (usually an Imam). The location is often a mosque.
The officiant first asks the couple whether they are marrying of their own free will. Once they agree, the bride and groom are asked three times if they consent to the marriage. After this, the marriage contract is signed, and the marriage is official. The officiant then reads out the marriage agreement, and the spouses and witnesses sign.
The next step is the Du'a, a prayer recited to ask for a blessing of the marriage. The third step is the Zifaf, or sending off, where the spouses spend time together alone, which may lead to consummation. The fourth and final step is the Walima, a reception banquet organised and paid for by the groom's family.
