Bridesmaids: Cosmopolitan's Toxic Tradition Needs Cancellation

The bridesmaids' phenomenon is a tradition that has sparked much debate. While some people consider it a fun and joyous occasion, others believe it is a burden that needs to be cancelled. The latter argument is supported by the high costs associated with being a bridesmaid, averaging $1,200, and the time commitment required, which can interfere with one's personal life and responsibilities. Additionally, there are instances where bridesmaids have been asked to wear inappropriate attire or have been fired by the bride due to unreasonable demands. Furthermore, being a bridesmaid can be stressful, as one has to deal with the bride's demands and the pressure of fulfilling duties. Ultimately, the decision to have bridesmaids or not is a personal choice, but it is essential to consider the potential drawbacks and impacts on those involved.

Bridesmaids are expensive

Being a bridesmaid is expensive. The average cost of being in a wedding party has risen to $1,200, and that's not including the cost of gifts, travel, and clothes. For those with a large number of bridesmaids, this can quickly add up. For example, one bride had 34 bridesmaids, which would amount to $40,800 spent on gifts, party swag, travel, and clothes.

The financial burden of being a bridesmaid can be unexpected, with many bridesmaids unaware of these costs when first accepting the role. The costs can also be unpredictable, with last-minute additions to pre-wedding parties, such as a bachelorette party in Paris, causing the overall expense to balloon.

In addition to the direct costs, there is also the opportunity cost of being a bridesmaid. This includes the time commitment required for the role, which can be significant, as well as the potential loss of earnings due to time taken off work to attend pre-wedding events and the wedding itself.

For these reasons, it is important to carefully consider the financial implications before agreeing to be a bridesmaid. It is also crucial to be upfront with the bride about any financial concerns and to set clear expectations regarding costs. While it can be challenging to decline or step down from the role of a bridesmaid due to financial reasons, it is essential to prioritize financial well-being.

It's a time commitment

Being a bridesmaid is a huge time commitment. It's not just about the wedding day itself, but all the events leading up to it, such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner. This can involve a lot of planning, shopping, and travelling, which takes up a lot of time and often means taking time off work.

The time commitment can be unpredictable and open-ended, with bridesmaids often expected to be available for last-minute tasks and emergencies. This can be a problem if you have a busy schedule or other commitments. It's also common for bridesmaids to be given additional tasks on the day, such as setting up place cards or entertaining guests, which can be stressful and time-consuming.

Even before the wedding, there's a lot of time and effort involved in being a bridesmaid. You may be expected to attend multiple dress fittings, go wedding shopping with the bride, and help with various wedding-related errands. All of this takes up valuable time that you could be spending on other things.

The time commitment can also be financially draining, especially if you have to take time off work or pay for your own travel and accommodation. It's not uncommon for bridesmaids to end up spending a significant amount of money on someone else's wedding, which can be a burden, especially if you're on a tight budget.

Being a bridesmaid is meant to be an honour, but it can quickly become a source of stress and frustration if you don't have the time or resources to commit to it. It's important to carefully consider the time commitment involved before agreeing to be a bridesmaid, as it's not a responsibility that should be taken lightly.

Unreasonable bride demands

Being a bridesmaid can be a costly affair, with the average cost of being in a wedding party reaching $1,200. This includes expenses for gifts, travel, clothes, and pre-wedding parties. However, some brides have unreasonable expectations of their bridesmaids, making demands that go beyond what is typically required. Here are some examples of unreasonable bride demands:

• Demanding that bridesmaids pay for expensive dresses, even if it causes financial strain. In one instance, a bride demanded that her bridesmaids pay for wedding dresses that were assigned by body type, resulting in one bridesmaid ending up in an unflattering shift dress.
• Expecting bridesmaids to spend a significant amount of money on pre-wedding parties, such as lavish bachelorette parties in exotic locations like Paris or Bali. This can create financial hardship, especially if the bridesmaids are not informed of these costs upfront.
• Making unreasonable requests for bridesmaids' hair, makeup, or weight. For example, asking them to dye their hair a certain color or lose/gain weight for the wedding. These demands can be uncomfortable and intrusive.
• Requiring bridesmaids to spend a considerable amount of their free time on wedding-related tasks, such as setting up place cards or entertaining the bride's relatives. This can be demanding and take away from their ability to enjoy the wedding celebrations.
• Forcing bridesmaids to split the bill for the bride's expenses, such as when she orders excessive drinks and expects others to cover her share. This can be unfair and financially burdensome for the bridesmaids.
• Demanding that bridesmaids attend all pre-wedding events, regardless of their personal circumstances. For example, expecting a pregnant bridesmaid to fly to the wedding location, even if it poses a health risk to her and her baby.
• Not allowing bridesmaids to drink alcohol at the wedding or pre-wedding events. This can be seen as controlling and take away from the enjoyment of the celebration.
• Kicking bridesmaids out of the wedding party due to personal conflicts or life changes, such as a divorce or job loss. This can be hurtful and damaging to friendships.
• Expecting bridesmaids to prioritize the wedding over their own health and well-being. For example, a bride may demand that a bridesmaid with anxiety and depression attend the bachelorette party, even if it negatively affects their mental health.

Conflict with other friends

Being a bridesmaid can cause conflict with other friends, especially when it involves a large time and financial commitment. The average cost of being a bridesmaid is $1,200, and this can cause a strain on friendships, especially if the bridesmaid is already facing financial difficulties. For example, one woman described how she was asked to be a bridesmaid for her friend Maddie, who offered to buy her a $300 plane ticket for the bachelorette party. However, when the woman found out she was pregnant, she had to cancel the trip due to the risk of Zika, and Maddie demanded she pay her back immediately, threatening to take her to court. The woman ultimately lost the baby and her friendship.

In another case, a woman named Taylor was laid off from her job soon after buying a final-sale bridesmaid dress for her friend Caroline's wedding. She texted Caroline and another friend, Emily, to let them know she was processing her job loss, but received silence in response. A few days later, Caroline texted back to say she wanted to "part ways". Taylor sent Caroline a Venmo request for the dress, which she paid, but their friendship was over.

Being a bridesmaid can also cause conflict when the bride makes unreasonable demands, such as asking bridesmaids to wear vulva-shaped dresses, or to lose weight. These demands can cause tension and even end friendships.

In addition, being a bridesmaid can be time-consuming, with many pre-wedding events and responsibilities to attend to. This can lead to a situation where a bridesmaid's free time is wrapped up in someone else's big day, leaving little time for other friends.

Finally, being a bridesmaid can be stressful, and this stress can spill over into other friendships. For example, one woman described how her friend Liza asked her to be a bridesmaid, but when she announced her divorce a few months later, Liza said she was "no longer welcome in her wedding party" because she didn't believe in the sacrament of marriage. The woman felt like she had lost her best friend, and they spent the next five years estranged.

It's not always fun

Being a bridesmaid can be fun, but it's not always the case. The role comes with a lot of responsibility and can be a huge financial burden. The average cost of being a bridesmaid is now $1,200, and that's just the average—it can easily be much more. This includes money spent on gifts, travel, clothes, and pre-wedding parties like the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It's a lot of cash to shell out, especially if you're also dealing with a job crisis, illness, or other financial circumstances that have changed.

And that's not all. Being a bridesmaid also means your free time is wrapped up in someone else's big day. You might be given random tasks like "entertain my great aunt" or "set up all 152 place cards, please." Not to mention, there's the risk of being fired by the bride or even kicked out of the wedding party altogether, as seen in some bridesmaid horror stories.

It's important to be aware of the potential downsides of being a bridesmaid before taking on the role. While it can be a fun and exciting experience, it's not always a walk in the park. There are financial and time commitments, as well as the possibility of added stress and drama. So, if you're considering being a bridesmaid, make sure you're prepared for all that comes with it and be honest with yourself and the bride about what you can and can't do.

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