Wedding Bands: Who Pays?

There is no clear tradition dictating who buys wedding bands. While the groom has traditionally been the primary wedding ring buyer, modern couples often split the cost of their wedding rings, especially if they have already combined their finances. In some cases, each half of the couple is expected to pay for their other half's wedding band. It is also common for couples to buy each other's rings, or to make a joint purchase.

Couples splitting the cost

There are a few options for couples who want to split the cost of their wedding bands. Firstly, couples tend to split the costs down the middle, with each person footing the bill for the other’s wedding band. This route is straightforward and romantic, with a classic aesthetic. However, it may not suit non-traditional couples.

Another option is for each person to buy their own wedding band. This option is more financially independent and modern, but perhaps less romantic.

Couples could also consider getting their families to pay for the wedding bands. In the past, the bride's family would buy the groom's band and vice versa. Alternatively, one family could buy both wedding bands, while the other family pays for some wedding expenses.

Couples who are paying for their own wedding may prefer to split everything from the engagement to the honeymoon. This is also a good option for couples who plan to mix their finances.

Some couples also decide to split the cost of the wedding bands 50/50, as they will be joining their finances eventually anyway.

Families of the couple paying

While there are no hard-and-fast rules about who buys the wedding bands, there are a few traditions that have been established over time. One such tradition is that the bride (with or without help from her family) buys the groom's wedding ring, and the groom (with or without help from his family) buys the bride's wedding ring. However, this tradition is binary and does not account for same-sex couples. In more inclusive terms, each half of the couple is expected to pay for their other half's wedding band.

Nowadays, it is common for couples to split the cost of their wedding rings, especially if they have already combined their finances or are paying for the wedding together. When splitting the cost, the couple may decide to contribute equal amounts or divide the total cost proportionally to their individual incomes.

If the couple does not want to pay for the wedding bands themselves, they may ask their families to chip in. This could involve the families of the couple contributing to the cost of the wedding bands or the couple's parents helping their child decide on and pay for their future spouse's wedding band.

It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to buy wedding rings, and it is up to each couple to decide what works best for them. Open communication is key to overcoming this dilemma and preventing any negative feelings that could arise from making this large financial investment.

Each half of the couple pays for their other half's band

Wedding band traditions are evolving, and there is no one "right" way to buy wedding rings anymore. However, each half of the couple is generally expected to pay for the other person's wedding band. This approach is more inclusive than the old tradition, which assumes that all weddings involve a bride and a groom.

Some couples are splitting the cost of their wedding rings, especially if they have already combined their finances. However, this doesn't mean that they have to contribute equally to the bands. The amount each person pays could be proportional to their individual incomes, for example, a common practice when it comes to splitting costs as a couple.

If one person has spent more on the engagement ring, it might make financial sense for their partner to pay for the wedding band.

It's perfectly acceptable to buy your own ring or shop for both rings together. It's all about what works for you as a couple.

Buying your own ring

More and more couples are choosing to break with tradition and buy their own wedding rings. This can be for a variety of reasons, from wanting to buck tradition, to having a specific ring in mind, to wanting to contribute equally to the partnership.

Breaking with Tradition

Some people are uncomfortable with the historical context of rings, ownership, and weddings. By paying for your own ring, you can remove some of the historical context of ownership and permission. It can also be a perfect time to ask questions about your traditions and expectations. Many couples no longer ask fathers for permission to marry their daughter, nor is it expected that the bride's family will pay a dowry or cover all the costs of a wedding.

Getting What You Want

You will be wearing your wedding ring every day for the rest of your life, so it's important that you love it. It should bring you happiness every time you see it. If you have a dream design in mind, many jewellers offer a bespoke service to create any ring you desire. Alternatively, you can melt a vintage ring into a new one or create something out of a family heirloom.

Equality in Partnership

Many modern couples feel it's important to start the marriage off as equal partners. This can be especially true if you already share finances. Buying your own ring can be a powerful moment to share with your partner, demonstrating that you are planning on spending the rest of your lives together.

Practical Reasons

If your partner has already spent a lot of money on an engagement ring, it might be a nice gesture to buy your own wedding ring. This can help ease the financial burden on your partner, especially if you are both students or have other financial commitments.

A Special Experience

Some couples choose to make their own wedding rings with a bespoke experience. This can be a wonderful way to create unique, perfectly fitting rings that will be cherished forever. During the experience, you will be guided and supported by a master jeweller using traditional methods of the trade.

Combining savings from a joint wedding account

Discuss and Plan

It is important to have open and honest conversations with your partner about your short-term and long-term financial goals, priorities, and spending habits. This discussion should be approached in a comfortable and casual setting to ensure it doesn't feel confrontational. It is also crucial to revisit this topic regularly, both for routine check-ins and more extensive conversations as your lives and goals evolve.

Choose the Right Type of Account

There are several approaches to joint accounts. You can choose to have a completely joint account, where all your finances are merged into one checking, savings, and investment accounts. This approach offers built-in accountability, transparency, and simplicity. However, it may not be suitable if you have premarital savings or debts that you want to keep separate. Alternatively, you can opt for a "Yours, Mine, and Ours" model, where you maintain separate accounts while also having a joint account for shared expenses and goals. This approach provides a sense of financial independence and allows you to maintain control over your individual finances.

Choose the Right Bank

When selecting a bank for your joint account, consider factors such as competitive interest rates, minimal fees, excellent customer service, and digital accessibility. Options like Ally Bank, SoFi, and Alliant Credit Union are known for their favourable offerings in these areas.

Set Financial Goals

Once you've opened your joint account, it's essential to set financial goals together. This could include saving for a down payment on a house, planning a wedding, or preparing for retirement. Tools like SoFi's "Vaults" or Ally's "Buckets" can help you set and track different savings goals.

Create a Budget and Emergency Fund

Using a budgeting app or financial planning tool, create a budget that considers your income, expenses, and savings goals. It is also wise to plan for unexpected expenses by establishing an emergency fund. Aim to save at least three months' worth of average expenses in a high-yield savings account to protect yourselves from high-interest credit card debt.

Maintain Open Communication

Finally, remember that combining finances is an ongoing process that requires constant communication and adjustment. Be willing to have honest conversations about money, even if they are difficult or uncomfortable. This open communication will strengthen your financial partnership and your relationship as a whole.

Frequently asked questions