Bridesmaid Dresses: When To Inform Your Bridesmaids

Being a bridesmaid is a meaningful and unforgettable experience, but it's important to be mindful of your bridesmaids' time, preferences, and budgets. While it's customary for bridesmaids to cover the cost of their dress, shoes, and alterations, it's considerate to discuss budgets before shopping. It's also important to set clear expectations and communicate them effectively. Bridesmaids should be involved in the dress selection process, whether by choosing their own dresses within a specified colour or fabric, or selecting styles within a chosen colour palette or pattern.

When to start shopping for bridesmaid dresses

If the bride is choosing the dresses, she should start browsing around eight months before the wedding, after she has found her own wedding dress (usually around the nine-month mark). She can then ask one or two bridesmaids to join her to try on dresses and help narrow down the options. The bride should aim to make a decision on the dresses around six months before the wedding to allow time for ordering, shipping, and alterations.

If the bride is happy for the bridesmaids to choose their own dresses, she should first communicate any specific guidelines, such as colour, length, material, and style. She should also discuss budgets with each bridesmaid privately to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the expected costs. The bridesmaids can then start shopping, bearing in mind that they will need to allow time for alterations.

In both cases, it's important to keep an open line of communication between the bride and bridesmaids and to be considerate of each other's preferences, schedules, and budgets.

Who pays for the bridesmaids' dresses?

It is customary for bridesmaids to cover the cost of their own dresses, shoes, and alterations. However, it is important to discuss budgets before shopping to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the chosen price range. As the bride, you may need to be prepared to subsidise the difference if some bridesmaids cannot afford the chosen dress.

If you are set on having your bridesmaids wear a specific dress, be prepared to cover the cost for anyone who cannot afford it. You should also let the group know from the start that this option is available.

If you are happy for your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses, you can give them a colour, pattern, or fabric, and ask them to select a style they love and feel comfortable in. This approach can also save you money as you won't need to cover the cost of the dresses.

If you are concerned about cohesion in the bridal party's appearance, you can provide guidelines for the bridesmaids to follow when choosing their dresses. For example, you could specify the desired colour, length, material, or formality of the dress.

It is also a good idea to start the bridesmaid dress shopping conversation early on, around eight months before the wedding. This will give you and your bridesmaids plenty of time to find dresses that fit within your desired style and budget.

How to communicate expectations to bridesmaids

Communicating your expectations to your bridesmaids is an important part of wedding planning. To ensure everyone is on the same page, it's best to be clear, considerate, and organised. Here are some tips on how to effectively communicate your expectations to your bridesmaids:

Be Clear and Specific:

• Start by having a conversation with each bridesmaid to understand their budget for the dress, shoes, and alterations. It's important to be considerate of their financial situation and offer flexibility if needed.
• Decide on the colour, fabric, and style of the dresses, and communicate these expectations clearly. If you want your bridesmaids to choose their own dresses, provide guidelines and be specific about any requirements, such as length, material, or formality.
• If you have a particular hairstyle, makeup look, or accessories in mind, communicate this to your bridesmaids. Be open to their input and feedback, and offer alternatives if they are uncomfortable with your initial suggestion.

Provide a Timeline:

• Create a timeline for dress shopping, fittings, and purchasing accessories. Communicate this timeline to your bridesmaids and let them know when you expect decisions to be made.
• Start the conversation about dresses early, preferably around eight months before the wedding. This gives everyone enough time to browse, try on different options, and make alterations if needed.
• Schedule fittings for three to five weeks before the wedding to allow for any necessary alterations.

Choose a Communication Method:

• Select one primary method of communication, such as email, a group chat, or a shared document, and stick to it throughout the process. This ensures that everyone has access to the same information and can easily stay updated.
• Provide reasonable deadlines for responses and be understanding if someone takes a few days to get back to you. Remember, your bridesmaids have their own lives, jobs, and commitments.

Be Considerate:

• Remember that your bridesmaids are your friends and family, and treat them with respect and consideration. Their lives don't revolve around your wedding, so try to be flexible and accommodating.
• If you have specific requests, such as attending certain events or helping with wedding tasks, be clear about your expectations and give them the option to opt-out if needed.
• If you're asking your bridesmaids to cover certain costs, be mindful of their financial limitations. You can offer to subsidise expenses or provide a shortlist of options within their budget.

Final Checks:

• Schedule a final check-in with your bridesmaids to ensure their dress choices fit your vision and theme. This also allows time for any last-minute alterations or adjustments.
• Remind your bridesmaids to bring their chosen accessories, jewellery, and shoes on the day before the wedding, so everything is ready for the big day.

How to involve bridesmaids in the dress selection process

Involving your bridesmaids in the dress selection process can be a fun part of wedding planning. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

Start with Clear Communication

Before you begin shopping, communicate your expectations and any specific requirements you have, such as colour, fabric, or style. Be clear about what you want, but also be open to input from your bridesmaids. They may have valuable insights or preferences that can contribute to the final decision.

Discuss Budgets Privately

Have private conversations with each bridesmaid about their budget. This will help you understand how much they are comfortable spending and allow you to make informed choices. If there are budget constraints, consider subsidising the difference or opting for more affordable options.

Include Them in the Process

Involve your bridesmaids in the dress selection process. Start by shopping with one or two bridesmaids whose opinions you trust. This can be your maid of honour, a close friend, or someone with a good sense of style. Once you've narrowed down your options, present them to the rest of the bridesmaids for their feedback.

Be Flexible with Silhouettes

While you may have a specific colour or fabric in mind, allow your bridesmaids to choose their own dress silhouette. This will enable them to select a style that flatters their body type and makes them feel comfortable and confident.

Provide Clear Guidelines

If you decide to let your bridesmaids pick their own dresses within certain parameters, be very specific about your guidelines. This includes details such as colour, length, material, and formality. Clear guidelines will make it easier for your bridesmaids to find dresses that align with your vision and reduce the need for constant clarification.

Make it a Group Activity

Consider making dress shopping a group activity. Plan a fun day out with your bridesmaids, including brunch and visits to boutiques. This not only makes the experience enjoyable but also ensures that everyone has a shared understanding of your expectations and can provide immediate feedback. For bridesmaids who can't join in person, schedule a video call or create a dedicated group chat for dress discussions.

Don't Overcomplicate Things

Remember, letting your bridesmaids choose their own dresses should simplify the process, not complicate it. Trust your bridesmaids and allow them to take the lead. Be open to their suggestions and feedback, and don't forget to thank them for their efforts.

When to schedule dress fittings

Scheduling dress fittings is an important part of the wedding planning process. Here are some tips to help you stay on track:

8 Months Before the Wedding

It is important to start discussing bridesmaid dress options with the bride early on. This will give you an idea of whether the bride has a specific vision in mind or if she prefers you to pick your own dress. If she has particular colours or styles in mind, you can start browsing and trying on different options. It is also crucial to get your measurements taken by a professional seamstress to ensure accurate sizing for your dress.

6 Months Before the Wedding

By the six-month mark, the bride should have chosen the bridesmaid dresses. As soon as you receive this information, go ahead and order your gown. Designer bridesmaid dresses can take anywhere from two to three months to arrive, so it is important to allow ample time for shipping and alterations.

3 Months Before the Wedding

Schedule your first fitting with a seamstress to ensure the dress is properly fitted to your body type. This is the time to make any necessary alterations, such as adjusting the length or taking in the gown at the waist.

1-2 Months Before the Wedding

Schedule your final fitting about three to five weeks before the wedding. This will give you enough time for any minor alterations that may be needed. After the final fitting, be sure to find a safe place to store your dress until the wedding day, keeping it away from anything that could damage the gown.

Day Before the Wedding

On the day before the wedding, gather your bridesmaid dress and all accessories in one place. This will ensure that everything is ready to be transported to the venue or bridal suite. Check-in with the bride to see if she wants anyone to bring a portable steamer to ensure all dresses are wrinkle-free for the big day.

Wedding Day

It's finally here! Get glammed up, put on your dress, and help the bride with any finishing touches. Remember to celebrate and enjoy this special day with your friends!

Frequently asked questions