Planning A Wedding: Timing And Engagement

Planning a wedding can be an exciting yet overwhelming experience. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer to when you should start planning your wedding after getting engaged, it is generally recommended to wait at least a month to enjoy the just engaged feeling and discuss your general vision, priorities, and budget before diving into the planning process. The average engagement length is around 13 to 15 months, allowing ample time to book venues and vendors without feeling rushed. However, if you have your heart set on a specific date, season, or popular location, it's advisable to start planning sooner to secure your preferences. Being flexible and adaptable is crucial, as you may encounter challenges like booked-out venues or unavailable vendors. Ultimately, the decision depends on personal circumstances, preferences, and the level of detail desired for your special day.

Enjoy the engagement before planning

It is easy to feel pressured to start planning your wedding as soon as the engagement ring is on your finger. Friends and family will be keen to know when the big day is, where it will be, and what you will wear. But it is important to take the time to enjoy your engagement and celebrate this special time before diving into the sometimes-stressful world of wedding planning.

The average couple is engaged for 13 months, and many wait about two years before tying the knot. But there is no one-size-fits-all answer to how long you should be engaged for, or how long to wait before starting to plan your wedding. It depends on your personal preferences, life circumstances, and the level of detail you want for your wedding day.

If you are undergoing significant life changes, such as moving cities or starting a new job, it might be wise to wait a bit before planning your wedding. Weddings are also a substantial financial commitment, so taking time to save up can relieve stress and give you more options. It is also important to consider how many people to invite, as this will impact your budget.

Enjoy this special time in your life, and when you are ready, start by coming up with a budget and an estimated guest count, and then begin researching venues. If you have a particular wedding date, venue, or season in mind, it is a good idea to start planning soon after getting engaged to help secure your favourites. But remember, flexibility is key. You may need to be open to alternative dates and options, and being adaptable can reduce stress and even lead to some delightful surprises.

Discuss a general vision and priorities

It is important to discuss a general vision and priorities for the wedding with your partner before diving into the planning process. This discussion will help guide your decisions and ensure that you are both on the same page. Here are some key considerations to keep in mind:

Vision and Priorities

First, talk to your partner about whether you want a long or short engagement. There are advantages to both, and the length of your engagement will impact your planning timeline. A long engagement can offer the luxury of time and less stress in planning, as well as a wider choice of vendors. On the other hand, a short engagement can be more exciting and allow for a more intimate wedding.

Next, it is crucial to set a firm budget. Discuss your financial situation and how much you are willing to spend on the wedding. Consider any significant life changes, such as moving cities or starting new jobs, that may impact your finances. The budget will guide many of your decisions, so it is essential to have a clear understanding of it.

Guest List and Vendors

Estimate the number of guests you plan to invite. This will influence your choice of venue and other aspects of the wedding. If you have a specific date, venue, or season in mind, it is advisable to start planning soon after your engagement to secure your favourites, especially in popular locations.

Flexibility and Adaptability

While it is important to have a vision, remaining flexible and adaptable is key. You may encounter challenges such as booked venues or unavailable vendors. Being open to alternative options can reduce stress and even lead to pleasant surprises.

Destination Weddings

If you are planning a destination wedding, it is best to start planning as soon as possible. Destination weddings pose additional challenges, and your guests will need advance notice to plan their travel. Hiring a wedding planner specialising in destination weddings is recommended.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to wedding planning. Enjoy the process and make it a memorable journey towards one of the most important days of your life.

Set a budget and guest list

Setting a budget and a guest list is one of the trickiest yet most important parts of wedding planning. It is also the first step in the planning process, as it will guide every decision you and your partner make, from the venue to the food and drinks.

Budget

The average wedding budget is $30,000, but this can vary depending on factors such as the number of guests, the type of wedding, and the time of year. When setting a budget, it is important to be realistic and comfortable with the amount you and your partner are able to spend, without going into debt. Discuss your priorities and allocate funds accordingly. Some costs to consider include:

• Venue: The venue is typically the biggest expense in a wedding budget. To save money, consider choosing an off-peak day and time, as Saturdays are usually the most expensive.
• Catering: The cost of catering will depend on the number of guests and the type of meal service. A buffet is usually a more affordable option than a sit-down meal.
• Rentals: This includes tables, chairs, linens, glassware, and china.
• Stationery: Wedding invitations and paper goods are important details that can add up quickly.
• Entertainment: This includes music, photo booths, and unique experiences such as live painters or dancers.
• Transportation: Consider providing transportation for guests to and from the venue, as well as for the wedding party.
• Photography and Videography: Capturing memories of your special day is important, but it can be expensive. Consider asking a friend to be your photographer or videographer to save money.
• Open bar: An open bar is a common option that guests appreciate, but it can be expensive. A limited bar or morning or afternoon wedding can reduce alcohol-related costs.

Guest List

The size of your guest list will impact your budget, especially when it comes to costs per head, such as food and drinks. Creating a guest list will also help you determine the size and type of venue you need. Here are some tips for creating your guest list:

• Prioritize: Decide who is most important to you and your partner to have at the wedding.
• Be strategic: If you're looking to save money, consider inviting fewer people than the average guest list size.
• Consider your budget: Your budget may dictate how many guests you can comfortably accommodate.
• Be mindful of plus-ones: Decide whether to allow plus-ones for guests who are not in a committed relationship, as this can quickly increase your guest count.
• B-list: Consider creating a B-list of guests who you would like to invite if space and budget allow.

Pick a date and secure the venue

Picking a wedding date and securing a venue are two of the first steps in the wedding planning process. While it's okay to take your time and not rush into setting a date, it's a good idea to manage everyone's expectations early on by letting friends and family know if you aren't planning to set a date yet. This way, you can take your time enjoying your engagement without feeling pressured to start planning right away.

When it comes to picking a date, some couples choose a date that is special to them and then select a venue that is available on that date. However, this method may limit your venue options. A more flexible approach is to choose your dream venue first and then select a date based on the venue's availability. This way, you'll have more venue options to choose from.

If you have your heart set on a particular venue, it's a good idea to book it as soon as possible, especially if it's a popular or in-demand location. Wedding venues can book up quickly, especially during peak wedding seasons. To increase your chances of securing your desired venue, consider the following tips:

• Research the local market: Look into the demand for wedding venues in your desired area. Check how many other venues are in the area, what their occupancy rates are, and what makes your chosen venue stand out.
• Consider off-peak dates: Wedding venues often charge premium rates during peak wedding seasons, such as summer or popular holiday weekends. Opting for an off-peak date may increase your chances of securing your desired venue and could even result in cost savings.
• Be mindful of the day of the week: Saturday nights typically carry the highest price tag for wedding venues. Consider a weekday wedding, as remote work schedules may provide more flexibility for your guests to attend.
• Book in advance: If you have a specific venue in mind, don't hesitate to reach out and inquire about availability as early as possible. Many venues allow bookings up to two years in advance, giving you ample time to plan the rest of your wedding.

Once you've secured your venue, you can start hiring other vendors and diving into the rest of your wedding planning journey. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to picking a date and venue, so choose what feels right for you and your partner.

Book vendors and send invites

Book Vendors

Booking vendors for your wedding is a crucial step in the planning process, and it's important to start early to ensure you get your preferred choices. Here's a guide to help you book the right vendors at the right time:

• Wedding venue: The venue is typically the first vendor to book as it dictates the date of your wedding. It's best to book your venue as soon as possible, especially if you have a specific location in mind.
• Photographer and videographer: These vendors play an integral role in capturing the memories of your big day. Start researching and booking them between 9 and 11 months before your wedding. The good ones tend to get booked well in advance.
• Officiant: Unless your wedding venue includes an officiant, you'll need to book a licensed, professional officiant separately. This should be done about 9 months before the wedding.
• Caterer: If your wedding venue doesn't include catering, you'll need to book a caterer. They will help you decide on the serving style and provide a tasting to choose the dishes.
• Cake baker: While most bakeries can handle multiple wedding cakes on a given day, if you have specific requirements or a desired bakery in mind, book early. A standard timeline for booking a cake baker is around 6 to 9 months in advance.
• Florist: If you have your heart set on a particular florist or style, it's best to book early, especially during the busy season. A good timeframe is 6 to 9 months before the wedding.
• Band or DJ: Booking a band or DJ can be nerve-wracking, as the good ones tend to get snapped up quickly. Start looking and booking about 10 to 12 months before your wedding.
• Honeymoon travel consultant: Include a honeymoon travel agent in your plans to make organizing your trip easier.
• Stationer (invitations): Your invitations give guests a hint of your wedding style. If you're sending save-the-dates, these can be sent up to 12 months in advance, with invitations following around 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding.

Send Invites

Sending out invitations is an exciting step in your wedding planning journey. Here's a guide to help you with the timing:

• Save-the-dates: If you're sending save-the-dates, it's customary to send them 6 to 8 months before the wedding. For destination weddings, send them 8 to 12 months in advance.
• Wedding invitations: The general rule is to send invitations 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to RSVP and plan their schedules. For destination weddings, send invitations 3 to 4 months in advance to allow guests to arrange travel and accommodations.
• Bachelor/Bachelorette parties: For local parties, send invitations 6 to 8 weeks in advance. If the event involves travel, send invites 4 to 6 months ahead of time.
• Rehearsal dinner: Send invitations for the rehearsal dinner 4 to 6 weeks in advance.

Frequently asked questions