Junior Rasmussen
Wedding registries are a great way to ensure you receive gifts you and your partner will love and use. While it's considered an engagement faux pas to keep your guests in the dark about your wish list, it's also important to avoid coming across as presumptuous or greedy. The general consensus is that you should set up your wedding registry as early as possible after getting engaged, but no later than when you send out your save-the-dates. This allows your wedding shower hosts and guests to start planning and gives you the opportunity to share your registry by word of mouth or via your wedding website.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Timing | It is best to share the wedding registry as early as possible after getting engaged. |
| It should be shared at the latest by the time you send out save-the-dates. | |
| It should be shared before the wedding shower or engagement party. | |
| It is considered an engagement faux pas to keep your guests in the dark about your wish list. | |
| It should be shared 4-6 months in advance of the wedding date to allow wedding shower hosts and guests to start planning. | |
| Who to share with | It can be shared on the wedding website. |
| It can be included on shower invitations. | |
| It can be shared by word of mouth from those close to you. | |
| It can be shared on social media, depending on your culture. | |
| What to include | Register for items that cover a wide range of prices. |
| Register for more gifts than you have guests. | |
| Register for more individual items than sets. |
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What You'll Learn
After getting engaged
You can set up a secret registry before getting engaged, but it is considered presumptuous to share it before the engagement is official. Once you are engaged, you can make your registry public. It is considered an engagement faux pas to keep your guests in the dark about your wish list, as they will want to buy you gifts you will actually like and use.
There are a few things to keep in mind when creating your registry. Firstly, be mindful of your guests' ages and average incomes, and include items that cover a wide range of prices. Secondly, register for more gifts than you have guests and include more individual items than sets, as this gives your guests more options and makes it possible for them to combine several smaller items into one package. Finally, while it is acceptable to register for cash or honeymoon funds instead of traditional gifts, requesting only financial gifts is considered taboo and impolite.
It is recommended to complete your wedding registry four to six months in advance of the wedding date. This allows your wedding shower hosts and guests enough time to prepare, and gives out-of-town friends who cannot attend the opportunity to send gifts.
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Before the wedding shower
Wedding showers are among the most popular pre-wedding events, where guests get to celebrate the couple before the big day. They are an opportunity for the couple's closest relatives and friends to meet and celebrate, usually a few weeks or months before the wedding. The wedding shower is a modern twist on the traditional bridal shower, which was a gift-giving party held for the bride-to-be, with gifts that would help her set up her new home.
Nowadays, wedding showers are often co-ed, and the gifts are for the couple to open together. It is considered an engagement faux pas to keep your guests in the dark about your wish list before the wedding shower. If you don't specify what you want by your wedding shower, you may end up with a lot of gifts that you need to return.
You should start your wedding registry as soon as possible after getting engaged, so that loved ones can send gifts and shop for pre-wedding events. You can set up a registry before you get engaged, but it's best not to share the link until after you're officially engaged. Wedding registry information can be included on shower invitations or spread by word of mouth.
So, if you want to share your wedding registry before the wedding shower, make sure to get it done as soon as you're engaged, and definitely before you send out your wedding shower invitations. That way, your guests will know what gifts to get you, and you won't be stuck with a long list of returns after the shower.
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On the wedding website
Wedding registries are an exciting part of planning your wedding. When it comes to sharing your wedding registry on your wedding website, there are a few things to keep in mind.
Firstly, it is recommended to have your wedding website and registry set up as soon as possible after your engagement. This will allow your family and friends to select gifts for any early events, such as engagement parties, and for your wedding day. It is also a good idea to finalise your registry at least three to six months before the wedding, giving guests enough time to purchase gifts at their convenience.
Secondly, while it is encouraged to edit and update your wedding website and registry throughout the planning process, be mindful of wedding etiquette. It is considered inappropriate to include registry information directly on your wedding invitations or save-the-dates. Instead, provide your wedding website link on your save-the-dates, allowing guests to access your registry information from there. You can also include your wedding website in your invitations, send e-postcards with website information, or use announcement cards.
Thirdly, when it comes to the content of your wedding website, ensure that your registry is easy to find. Include a dedicated registry page with links to the online stores, allowing guests to seamlessly transition from your website to your registry. While it is not recommended to have the store names on the homepage, you can include other details such as day-of schedules, local accommodations, dress code information, and your love story.
Lastly, remember that word-of-mouth is also an effective way to spread the word about your registry. Share the details with your immediate family, wedding party, and close friends, and let them know they can inform other guests on your behalf. This was the traditional way of sharing registry information before wedding websites became popular, and it is still an important aspect of wedding planning.
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Via word of mouth
When it comes to sharing your wedding registry via word of mouth, it's important to strike a balance between enthusiasm and discretion. While you may be eager to share your exciting news, it's best to wait until your engagement is official to avoid appearing presumptuous or overly eager. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this aspect of your wedding planning:
Share the News Discreetly: After you get engaged, it's perfectly fine to start spreading the word about your wedding registry discreetly. Share the information with your close family members and friends, who can then pass it on to their network. For example, your mother can let her relatives know that you're registered at a particular store if they inquire. This way, you can start building excitement without making a public announcement.
Timing is Key: It is recommended to have your wedding registry ready by the time you send out save-the-dates or invitations. This allows your wedding shower hosts and guests to plan accordingly and purchase gifts that align with your wishes. It also enables out-of-town friends or guests who can't attend to send their gifts in advance.
Consider Cultural Sensitivities: When sharing your wedding registry via word of mouth, be mindful of cultural sensitivities. While some cultures find it customary to share the registry with a wide audience, others may view it as inappropriate to ask people who are not invited to the wedding for gifts. Take cues from close friends or relatives who have gone through a similar process, and use your best judgment.
Engage Close Family and Friends: Your immediate family and close friends can be your biggest advocates in spreading the word about your wedding registry. They can casually mention it in conversations with their networks, ensuring that those who are interested in purchasing gifts for you have the necessary information.
Avoid Over-Eagerness: While it's exciting to plan your wedding and create your registry, refrain from appearing too eager when sharing the information via word of mouth. Let your enthusiasm show, but remember to respect the etiquette and avoid any potential faux pas.
Remember, sharing your wedding registry via word of mouth is a great way to ensure your loved ones are informed without making a public announcement. By following these guidelines, you can strike a balance between excitement and discretion, leading up to your special day.
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Four to six months before the wedding
It is considered an engagement faux pas to keep your guests in the dark about your wish list. If you don't specify what you want by your wedding shower, you may end up with a lot of gifts that you need to return. Setting up your registry early comes with plenty of perks for you and your guests. Loved ones will appreciate the ease of shopping with a curated wish list, and you will be more likely to receive the presents you want.
It is best to give the registry information to immediate family and the wedding party and let them spread the word. If asked where you have registered, it is fine to share, but it is not etiquette-approved to include registry information on a wedding invitation. Instead, include a link to your wedding website, which will house all the event's important details, including where you are registered.
If you plan on having an engagement longer than a year, you may want to wait to send out the registry until you hit the year mark. Alternatively, if you are having a short engagement, get the registry sent out as soon as possible.
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Frequently asked questions
It is best to complete your wedding registry four to six months in advance of the wedding date. This allows your wedding shower hosts and guests to start lining things up for the shower. It also gives out-of-town friends who are unable to attend the opportunity to send a gift.
Registry information should go on your wedding website and can go on shower invitations if the host chooses. Otherwise, it spreads by word of mouth from those close to you.
It depends on your culture. Some find it customary to share the list with everyone, while others believe it's inappropriate to ask people who aren't invited to the wedding for gifts.
