George Boyle
A wedding reception usually starts with a cocktail hour, where guests can mingle, eat hors d'oeuvres, and wind down before the party begins. This is also when the couple takes their wedding pictures. The cocktail hour is followed by dinner and speeches, with the best man and maid of honour offering toasts between courses. The meal is then cleared away, and the newlyweds have their first dance, followed by parent dances. The DJ or band then plays high-energy music to get everyone on the dance floor. Throughout the dancing, there may be pauses for activities such as the bouquet and garter toss. About an hour before the end of the reception, waitstaff starts preparing coffee and dessert, and the cake is cut. The last dance is usually 15 minutes before the end of the reception, and the newlyweds may make a grand exit with sparklers or fireworks. The reception typically lasts four to five hours, and if there's travel involved between the ceremony and reception, guests are usually given at least 30 minutes to get to the reception venue.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Typical duration | 4-5 hours |
| Cocktail hour duration | 1 hour |
| Start time | Immediately if the ceremony and reception are in the same venue, or 30 minutes or more after the ceremony if travel is involved |
| First dance | Before dinner, or after |
| Toasts | Given by the best man and maid of honour, and the father of the bride |
| Dinner | Buffet or seated |
| Cake cutting | Towards the end of the reception |
| Bouquet and garter toss | 45 minutes into the dance set |
| Last dance | 15 minutes before the end of the reception |
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The cocktail hour
During the cocktail hour, guests can revel in the captivating ambiance, connect with fellow wedding attendees, and soak up all the love and joy that has been poured into every moment of the ceremony. It is a time for relaxation with friends and family, especially for those who one hasn't seen in a while. It is also an opportunity for the newlyweds to thank their guests for coming, especially if they didn't get a chance to greet them earlier.
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Dinner and speeches
The wedding reception is a time for celebration, joy, and well-wishes from family and friends. While every wedding reception is different, there are some standard components, such as a cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing. Here is a guide to help you plan the dinner and speeches portion of your wedding reception.
Dinner
The standard wedding reception includes a one-hour cocktail party followed by a four-hour reception with a dinner service. If you are serving a buffet dinner, coordinate the dismissal of tables in sections to avoid congestion. Alternatively, if you are serving a plated meal, dinner can be served to all tables at once. The newlyweds may use this time to walk around and personally thank their guests, especially if they were unable to greet them upon arrival.
Speeches
Wedding speeches typically take place during the meal at the wedding reception. It is recommended to start the speeches about three-quarters of the way through dinner as guests are finishing their meals. This ensures that once the speeches are done, guests will be ready to transition to the dance floor. It is best to limit the number of wedding reception speeches to no more than four, with each speech lasting no more than five minutes. The traditional order of speakers includes:
- Father of the Bride: The father of the bride usually starts with a welcome speech, thanking the guests for coming and sharing words of wisdom for the couple.
- Groom's Family: This includes the father of the groom, mother of the groom, or both.
- Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor: These honor attendants may give a speech at the wedding or during the rehearsal dinner.
- Bride and Groom: The couple may give a thank-you speech at the reception to express their appreciation to the guests.
Transition to Dancing
After the speeches, the reception can transition into an open dance floor. The couple's first dance is followed by the bride dancing with her father and the groom dancing with his mother. The last dance is usually planned for about 15 minutes before the reception ends, and sparklers or bubbles can be provided to guests for a festive send-off.
Rehearsal Dinner Speeches
The decision to have speeches at the wedding reception or rehearsal dinner depends on your preferences and the desired atmosphere. Rehearsal dinners are more intimate, allowing for longer and more relaxed speeches. They are also less structured, accommodating more speakers. On the other hand, wedding receptions are more formal and have a larger audience, providing an opportunity for more people to be involved in celebrating the couple.
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Toasts
Wedding toasts are an opportunity to learn about the couple, who they are, and who is closest to them. They can be heartfelt, funny, and memorable. Here is a guide to the wedding toast tradition:
The Welcome Toasts
The first two toasts are considered welcome toasts and are typically offered by the parents or a family member of the newlyweds. Traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the groom's family. This could include the father of the groom, mother of the groom, or a few words from both parents.
The Maid of Honour and Best Man Toasts
Following the parent speeches, the maid of honour can offer a toast. Some couples opt to flip the order and have the best man speak first. The best man can introduce themselves, congratulate the couple, share a story about the groom, and offer kind words about their new spouse. They can also include a tasteful joke or two and end with a wedding toast to the newlyweds.
The Newlyweds' Toasts
The newlyweds may also give a speech, either individually or together, to welcome their guests and express their appreciation. They can also take this opportunity to thank their parents and guests personally if they didn't get a chance to greet everyone upon arrival.
Other Speakers
While not part of the traditional wedding speech order, other speakers can include the master of ceremonies (usually the wedding DJ or band leader), the bridal party, or close loved ones such as siblings.
Timing
Planning Your Toasts
When planning your wedding toasts, consider making them personal and comfortable for you to deliver. You can include funny anecdotes, heartfelt thanks, and memorable stories. It is also important to be mindful of the audience and avoid inside jokes or inappropriate remarks.
Sample Toasts
> "Thank you all so much for being a part of our special day! It’s so humbling to see all of our favorite people in one room here to support us and love us today. My first toast is to those loved ones who are watching from heaven—you may be gone, but you are never forgotten, and we know you’re with us today. Cheers to our bridal party! These ladies are my best friends in the whole world. They’ve been there for me through everything. You are all so beautiful today – inside and out. I am so grateful to have such loving, caring, welcoming, and wonderful friends."
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Cake cutting
The cake-cutting ceremony is an important tradition at weddings. While in the past, the cake was cut at the very end of the reception, today it usually takes place earlier, towards the end of dinner and just before the dancing begins. This signals to guests, especially older relatives with children, that the reception is almost over and that they are welcome to leave.
There are several benefits to cutting the cake earlier in the evening. It allows older guests and those with young children to depart without missing any formalities and ensures that the photographer will be present to capture the moment. It is also more convenient for the catering team, giving them more time to cut, plate, and serve the cake.
Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding cake, but there is no reason why the groom's family or the couple themselves cannot cover the cost. Couples may opt for a cake with multiple tiers, each featuring different flavours and fillings to satisfy a range of tastes. Bakers can advise on how to strategize the placement of each flavour to get an even divide.
When cutting the cake, one partner should place their hand over the other's as a symbol of their promise to support each other and reflect their first responsibility as a married couple. After the cake is cut, the couple may choose to have their bouquet toss, followed by the wedding cake distribution. The bride, with the groom's help, would hand out pieces of cake to all their guests, representing fertility.
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The first dance
The couple may choose to choreograph their first dance or wing it, depending on their comfort level and style. Some couples find it strange to have everyone stand and watch them, so they invite other couples to join in after the first verse and chorus. These are usually members of the wedding party or parents of the newlyweds. Sometimes, the couple skips the first dance altogether, and everyone hits the dance floor together.
The exact order of the dances after the first dance depends on personal preference. In some cases, the parent dances, such as the father-daughter and mother-son dances, happen right after the newlyweds' first dance. In other cases, these dances may take place towards the end of dinner, after the toasts, or once the cake has been cut. The Hora, a lively circle dance, usually follows the first dance at Jewish weddings.
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Frequently asked questions
A standard wedding reception lasts for about four to five hours, including a one-hour cocktail party and a four-hour reception with dinner service. However, the duration can vary depending on the couple's preferences and the venue.
A wedding reception typically starts with a cocktail hour, followed by dinner and speeches. After dinner, there is usually a series of special dances, such as the first dance, father-daughter dance, and mother-son dance. Throughout the reception, there may be additional activities, such as bouquet and garter toss, cake cutting, and other entertainment.
The wedding party should make their grand entrance about half an hour into the wedding reception, after the guests have had a chance to take their seats.
The last dance should be planned about 15 minutes before the end of the reception. The couple may choose to make a grand exit, using sparklers or bubbles for a memorable send-off. The cake-cutting is also a signal to guests that the reception is coming to a close.
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