Deborah Chan
There are several options for when to include flower girls and ring bearers in the wedding processional. The most traditional option is for them to enter immediately before the second partner (usually the bride), but they can also enter before the first partner's party or be split up, with the ring bearer entering before and the flower girl entering after. If the flower girl is going before the bridal party and scattering petals, be mindful that most or all of the petals will likely be swept off the aisle by the time the bride walks down.
If the flower girl and ring bearer are very young, it's common for them to walk down the aisle with their parent or be pulled in a wagon. If the child is older, you can emphasise the importance of their role to encourage them to take it seriously. It's also a good idea to have them practice their entrance several times, and to give them a treat at the end of the aisle to distract them during the processional.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Who walks with them? | A parent or another child |
| Who do they walk before? | The bride, bridesmaids, groomsmen, best man, or officiant |
| Who do they walk after? | The officiant, parents, or groomsmen |
| What do they carry? | Flowers, pillows, or signs |
| What do they wear? | Formal attire, such as a tux, suit, or dress |
What You'll Learn
The flower girl and ring bearer can walk down the aisle together
If the flower girl and ring bearer know each other, walking together can help ward off nerves or tantrums. It's also a good option if you want to create a cute pair or cluster of kiddies walking down the aisle. There are a few different formation options that might work, depending on the number of children and their temperaments. For example, the ring bearer can go first, followed by the flower girl(s), or they can walk side by side.
If you choose to have them walk together, it's important to consider their ages and how they might respond to the pressure of their roles. Younger children, especially those under four, may not understand the processional and are more likely to act out. In this case, it might be a good idea to have a parent or trusted adult walk with them down the aisle. Alternatively, you can have someone pull them in a wagon or small car, or have the flower girls escort the ring bearer.
To help prevent any stage fright or meltdowns, you can also emphasise the importance of their roles in the wedding and how special their job is. You can even suggest that the child's parents hype up their "special job" in the days leading up to the ceremony. Additionally, practising their entrance several times, as close to the actual processional time as possible, can help them feel more comfortable and confident on the big day.
Overall, having the flower girl and ring bearer walk down the aisle together can be a great way to include young members of your family or close friends' children in your wedding ceremony, while also managing any potential unpredictability that comes with children.
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The ring bearer can walk down the aisle with a parent
If the parents of the ring bearer are already in the wedding party, they can carry their child down the aisle during the processional. To make this option more unified, wedding planner Taylor Keenan suggests asking the parents to coordinate their attire to show the significance of the moment.
If the parents are not in the wedding party, you can still ask them to accompany their child down the aisle. This option may be preferable if the ring bearer is very young and their parents are in attendance.
If the ring bearer is old enough to walk on their own but you would like to involve their parents, there are a few options. The parents can walk with the ring bearer, either together or one at a time, or the ring bearer can walk alone and the parents can be waiting at the end of the aisle with a treat or toy to help encourage the child.
The ring bearer's parents should be consulted on what they would prefer to do, as some may not mind carrying their child, while others may feel hurt by this option and would prefer to have their own distinguished moment in the limelight.
In the end, the choice is yours, and there is no reason why a parent can't accompany the ring bearer down the aisle if that is what you would like.
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The flower girl can walk down the aisle with a parent
The flower girl and ring bearer are usually the youngest members of the bridal party. While it is traditional for the flower girl to walk down the aisle right before the bride, there is no set order for when they walk down the aisle.
If you are worried about your flower girl's age, or how she will handle the pressure of her role, it is a good idea to have her walk down the aisle with a parent. This is a common practice and can help to make the flower girl feel more comfortable.
If the flower girl is very young, you could also consider having her walk down the aisle in a wagon, pulled by a parent or another member of the bridal party. Alternatively, you could have her walk with the ring bearer, or another flower girl, so that she doesn't feel alone.
If you are concerned about maintaining the flower petal aisle for the bride's entrance, you could have the flower girl walk down the aisle after the bridesmaids, but before the bride. This will ensure that the flower petals are not disturbed by other members of the bridal party.
Ultimately, the decision of when the flower girl walks down the aisle is up to you and there are many options to choose from. You may also want to consider the age of the flower girl, and how comfortable she will feel walking down the aisle in front of a large audience.
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The ring bearer can walk down the aisle after the wedding party
If the ring bearer is old enough to walk on their own, they can head down the aisle after the wedding party and deliver the rings to the best man or wedding officiant. If the ring bearer is a toddler, it is recommended that one or both of their parents walk with them down the aisle, as young children are more comfortable with trusted adults. Alternatively, the ring bearer could be pulled in a wagon or small car, or escorted by the flower girls.
If the couple is concerned about the ring bearer's reliability, it is common for the best man to carry the rings as a precaution. The ring bearer can then carry an empty pillow or a decorative sign. There is also the option of tying plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow.
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The flower girl can walk down the aisle before the bride
There are several options for when to have the flower girl and ring bearer walk down the aisle. If you are set on sticking to tradition, the flower girl will walk down the aisle immediately before the bride, often scattering petals to create a flower-petal-carpet effect for the bride's walk. However, this is not set in stone, and it is becoming increasingly common for couples to opt for a different order.
One option is to have the flower girl and ring bearer lead the way and be the first ones out. This can be a good idea if you are worried about very young children not making it down the aisle, or if you would prefer to put some distance between an unpredictable toddler and your big moment of walking down the aisle. This option is particularly common in the UK, and it is not usually considered an issue if the petals are swept off the aisle by the time the bride walks down.
Another option is to split them up, with the ring bearer walking down the aisle after the groomsmen and the flower girl walking after the bridesmaids. This is rarely done, but it can work if, for example, you want the ring bearer to bring the ring to the best man, who is now standing at the front.
If you are worried about your guests' expectations, you could include the order of the processional on the programs. However, most guests will be primarily focused on the bride, and as long as she walks last, the exact order of the bridal party is unlikely to cause confusion.
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Frequently asked questions
No, they can walk separately. One option is to have the ring bearer walk down the aisle after the groomsmen and before the bridesmaids, and then have the flower girl walk down the aisle before the bride.
The flower girl and ring bearer are usually children of those close to the couple. They might be the children of the maid of honour or best man, the couple's nephews, or the children of other friends or family members. If the couple themselves have children, it is a sweet way to include them in the wedding as a family.
The ring bearer will traditionally walk up to the best man and give him the wedding bands for the ring exchange. The flower girl might veer off and sit down, or she might have a "thing to do", such as dropping rose petals to create a flower-petal-carpet effect for the bride's walk.
The ring bearer usually wears a tiny tux, a small suit, or khakis with a bow tie and suspenders. The flower girl often wears a dress. The couple can either give guidance to the children's parents or pick out the exact outfits themselves.
Most flower girls and ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight. Younger children may not understand the processional and are more likely to act out.
