Lyla Dejesus
A wedding reception is a celebration of a couple's marriage, usually held after the completion of the wedding ceremony. It is a time for guests to congratulate the newlyweds, enjoy a meal, and celebrate their union. The reception can last anywhere from half an hour to several days, with the average reception lasting between 4 to 7 hours. During the reception, guests can expect to dine, give toasts, cut the cake, dance, and participate in other activities. The reception is also an opportunity for the couple to add personal touches, such as custom decor, unique catering options, and interactive experiences. The reception timeline is carefully planned to ensure a seamless schedule, with factors such as the number of guests, entertainment, and dinner service style playing a role in the overall flow of the event.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Duration | Between 4 and 7 hours |
| Food and drink | Hosts provide their choice of food and drink, including a wedding cake |
| Venue | Usually a larger venue than the wedding ceremony, chosen by the married couple |
| Guests | Guest lists for wedding receptions are often larger than for wedding ceremonies |
| Entertainment | Music, dancing, speeches, games, photo booths, and other activities |
| Traditions | Toasts, cake cutting, bouquet and garter toss, parent dances, and receiving lines |
| Dress code | Can vary from casual to formal, depending on the couple's preferences |
| Sustainability | Some couples opt for eco-friendly choices, such as recycled materials and locally sourced food |
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What You'll Learn
Speeches, toasts and blessings
Speeches, toasts, and blessings are an important part of a wedding reception. They are usually given as guests are enjoying their meal, as they are already seated and more likely to be attentive. The order of the speeches typically goes as follows: the best man, followed by the maid of honour, and parents of either spouse. Traditionally, this spot is reserved for the father of the bride, but any parent or host can speak. Each speech should be brief, between one and three minutes. The couple may also give a thank-you speech or participate in a fun activity like the shoe game.
A wedding toast is a few words of wishes or blessings for the newlywed couple, after which all the guests take a sip of their drink in agreement. A good wedding toast strikes the right balance between humour and emotion, is short and sweet, and will be remembered as a great closing to your speech. For those who are nervous, a short and punchy speech or a funny one-liner is a great option. For wordsmiths, a longer, rhyming toast can be very effective.
Wedding blessings are an ancient tradition in many parts of the world, especially as part of a religious wedding ceremony. Here is an example of a wedding blessing:
> Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, King of the universe, who hath created joy and gladness, bridegroom and bride, mirth and exultation, pleasure and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. May there soon be heard in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the jubilant voice of bridegrooms from the wedding canopy, and of youths from their feasts of song.
- "There is only one happiness in life: To love and be loved." — George Sand
- "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." — Antoine de Saint-Exupery
- "The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time." — Julia Child
- "Where there is love there is life." — Mahatma Gandhi
- "The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now." — Rick Warren
- "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
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Food and drink
A plated meal is the most traditional and popular option, where guests are seated at their assigned tables and served a formal dinner. This usually consists of two courses (an appetizer and an entrée) and dessert. A plated dinner can be a more intimate and formal option, but it may not allow for as much guest interaction and movement as other styles.
A cocktail-style reception is a cost-effective approach, especially for large weddings, as it does not require a full meal. Guests can access the bar and mingle, but this style may not accommodate older guests as it involves more standing. A variation of this is a grazing table, where guests can pick at finger foods while stimulating conversation.
A buffet-style meal is a casual option with a variety of food options. It allows for guest interaction and movement but requires careful consideration of the layout and floor plan to ensure easy access to food and drinks. For a wedding of 250 people, Parragué suggests having three stations, including two self-serve and one chef-attended station.
A family-style menu is another intimate and less formal alternative, where food is served in the centre of each table for guests to help themselves.
When it comes to the food itself, there are many options to choose from. Couples often choose dishes that reflect their relationship, such as a meal they shared on their first date. For a rustic wedding, country-style fried chicken, pickles, and paper bag-portioned salads can be unexpected and charming choices. For a beach or summer wedding, a lobster roll with a light dressing and a summery rosé can be a perfect combination.
For a more interactive and fun station, consider a taco bar or a sushi station. A breakfast or brunch wedding with a pancake station, bacon, and custom omelets can also be a unique and memorable option. If you're looking for a classic, surf and turf is an elegant combination of steak and seafood that will appeal to many guests.
For couples on a budget, chicken is usually the most inexpensive option and can be prepared in various ways. It can be served with a salad, starch, mixed vegetables, and a roll. Keeping the drinks simple with a limited selection can also help save costs.
Some couples may choose to have a cash bar where guests pay for their drinks. However, this is often considered an etiquette faux pas, and an open bar is generally preferred to ensure a seamless reception without any interruptions. If you're concerned about budget, you can limit the alcohol selection to a few types of beer and wine.
Finally, don't forget to consider special meals for children and meals for wedding vendors who will be onsite for an extended period, such as photographers and musicians.
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Cake-cutting
The timing of the cake-cutting is important and can play a role in the reception. It can signal to guests, especially older guests or those with young children, that they are welcome to depart. Therefore, it is recommended to schedule the cake-cutting ceremony earlier in the reception. This also has the added benefit of saving money on wedding photography, as the photographer can leave earlier.
During the ceremony, one partner places their hand over the other's while cutting the first slice, symbolising their promise to support each other and reflecting their first responsibility as a married couple. The couple may then distribute the cake to their guests, though nowadays, this task is often delegated to the catering team.
The wedding cake is traditionally paid for by the bride's family, though the groom's family or the couple themselves may also cover the cost. Couples may also choose to honour local customs, such as serving a culturally important cake. For example, in France, croquembouche is a popular choice, while in Pittsburgh, a cookie table is a celebrated tradition.
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First dance and other dances
The first dance is a significant moment for the newlyweds, signifying their first steps together as a married couple. Couples may opt for a custom-choreographed routine or a few simple steps. After the first dance, the newlyweds' parents may give a brief welcome speech or blessing before dinner service starts.
The order of dances after the first dance varies depending on personal preference. Some couples may choose to have parent dances, such as the father-daughter and mother-son dances, immediately after the first dance. Other couples may prefer to have these dances towards the end of dinner, after the toasts, or after the cake-cutting.
The Hora is a lively circle dance that is often performed at Jewish weddings, usually following the first dance or after dinner. During this dance, the newlyweds and their parents are lifted onto chairs and paraded around the dance floor while the guests dance in a circular line.
The anniversary dance, also known as the bouquet dance, is a popular tradition where all married couples are invited to the dance floor for a slow dance. The DJ or emcee will then ask couples to sit down based on the length of their marriage, until the couple married the longest is left dancing.
The money dance, where guests "pay" to dance with the newlyweds, is another tradition observed at many weddings. This dance usually takes place towards the end of the reception, and the couple is showered with cash.
The last dance of the evening can be an upbeat song or a slower, more emotional tune, depending on whether there is an after-party following the reception.
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Bouquet and garter toss
The bouquet and garter toss is a wedding reception tradition that has been slowly dwindling in popularity in recent years. It involves the bride throwing her bouquet into a crowd of single ladies, and the groom flinging his new wife's garter into a crowd of single men. The person who catches either item is said to be the next to marry.
There are several reasons why some couples choose to skip this tradition. Firstly, it can be seen as outdated or offensive. Secondly, it might make single friends feel uncomfortable, and some people might not want to participate. Thirdly, it can be dangerous, with people jumping, reaching, and even tackling each other to catch the bouquet or garter. Finally, some couples simply don't feel it's necessary and would rather not interrupt the dance party with these customs.
However, there are also advantages to including the bouquet and garter toss in your wedding reception. It can be a fun activity for your guests, especially if you're worried about too much downtime or want to encourage guest participation. It can also be altered to become something new and fun. For example, instead of tossing the bouquet to a group of single ladies, you can give it to the longest-married couple at the reception or break it apart and give each bloom to a special woman in your life. In lieu of the garter toss, the groom can toss his boutonniere, or you can throw wedding favors to all your guests on the dance floor (as long as they're not fragile).
If you do choose to include the bouquet and garter toss, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to be cautious and aware that someone may get injured during the toss. Secondly, the retrieval of the garter by the groom can sometimes be inappropriate for a public setting. Finally, if you're not comfortable with the idea of fishing for a garter under the bride's dress in front of your guests, you can buy a garter and skip that part, simply tossing it to a group of loved ones.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding receptions usually last between 4 and 7 hours, including a cocktail hour. However, the length can vary depending on the couple's preferences and the venue's policies.
Wedding receptions are a time for guests to congratulate the newly married couple, enjoy a meal, and celebrate their union. Common activities include toasts and speeches, the couple's first dance, parent dances, cake cutting, bouquet and garter toss, and dancing.
The food served at a wedding reception varies depending on the time of the wedding, local customs, and the couple's preferences and budget. It can range from light snacks and drinks to a formal sit-down dinner. A wedding cake is a popular choice, and some couples may also offer unique catering options such as food trucks, food stations, or specialty cocktails.
Modern couples often add personalized touches to their wedding receptions, such as custom decor, monograms, and unique centerpieces. Some may opt for non-traditional venues like art galleries, rooftop bars, or rustic barns. Interactive experiences such as photo booths and lawn games are also popular. Sustainable and eco-friendly choices, including locally sourced food and recycled materials for decor, are also becoming more common.
