Franklin Dean
A wedding is a joyous occasion, but it can also be a time to remember loved ones who have passed away. One way to do this is by lighting a memorial candle during the ceremony. This can be done in various ways, such as placing the candle at the front of the ceremony for the couple to light or putting it on a memorial table. The candle can be lit before the ceremony or during it, and it can be accompanied by a few words, silence, or a short reading. Couples may also choose to include a line in the wedding program or bulletin about the candle and who it honours. Memorial candles can be purchased or couples can use a keepsake candle they already have at home.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Placement | To the side of the altar, at the entrance, or on a memorial table |
| Timing | Before guests arrive, at the beginning of the ceremony, or during the reception |
| Announcement | Made by the officiant, bride, groom, or family member |
| Wording | A quote, poem, or bible verse, along with the name and relationship of the deceased |
| Personalization | Customized with names, dates, photos, or verses |
| Type of candle | Easy to light for the couple or secure and safe to burn for hours, depending on usage |
| Container | Jar or hurricane lantern to prevent the flame from going out |
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What You'll Learn
Where to place memorial candles
Memorial candles at weddings are a lovely way to honour and remember family members and loved ones who can't be there on your special day. Here are some ideas for where to place them:
At the Entrance
The memorial candle can be placed at the entrance of the wedding venue, lit in loving memory of the deceased. This allows guests to see it as they arrive and can be a touching way to welcome them to the wedding. You can include a small sign or framed photo next to the candle with a poem, bible verse, or a simple message such as "This candle burns in memory of [Name], [Date]."
On a Memorial Table
Setting up a memorial table is a great way to honour your loved ones. You can place the candle on the table, along with other meaningful items such as framed photos, flowers, or a small bouquet. The candle can be lit before or during the reception, creating a warm and intimate atmosphere. Consider adding a personalised candle holder or hurricane lantern with a verse, the birth and death dates, and the name of the person being remembered.
At the Front of the Ceremony
The memorial candle can be placed at the front of the ceremony, near the altar or wedding party. This allows the couple to light the candle easily during the ceremony. Having at least one other candle lit nearby can be useful for this purpose. The candle can be lit before or during the ceremony, with an announcement made by the officiant or the couple themselves, honouring the memory of their loved ones.
At a Special Spot
Another option is to place the memorial candle at a special spot where the missing loved one would have sat at the wedding. This can be a powerful way to honour their memory and feel their presence during the ceremony. Flowers or a small bouquet can be placed here as well, with the officiant drawing attention to the memorial display if desired.
Ultimately, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to memorial candles at weddings. The placement and use of the candle should be based on what feels right for the couple and their families. It's important to remember that not everyone grieves the same way, and some couples may choose to honour their loved ones in their own unique ways.
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When to light memorial candles
A memorial candle at a wedding is a wonderful way to remember a loved one. The candle can be lit at any point before or during the ceremony. Some couples choose to light the candle before the guests arrive, and this can be a very moving moment. The couple, or a family member, may walk up to the candle to light it, accompanied by music. This can be listed in the program so guests are aware.
The candle can also be lit during the ceremony. The officiant or minister can announce the memorial candle on behalf of the couple, and invite them to light it. This can be a very emotional moment, and the couple may wish for the officiant to make the announcement. The candle can be lit in silence, or with words, and the couple may wish to add a few lines in the wedding bulletin regarding who the candle honours.
The memorial candle can be placed at the spot where the missing loved one would have sat, or at the front of the ceremony, where it can be lit by the couple. It can also be placed on a memorial table, to be burned at the reception. This can be accompanied by a framed photo of the deceased, flowers, or a verse.
There is no right or wrong way to include a memorial candle in your wedding, it is a personal choice.
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What to say when lighting memorial candles
The lighting of memorial candles is a popular tradition in weddings to honour and pay tribute to the life of a loved one who has passed away. The candle itself holds symbolic meaning beyond its practical use, with the flame representing hope, life, and guidance, and serving as a symbol of the light that the deceased brought into our lives. Here are some suggestions for what to say when lighting a memorial candle:
Acknowledging the Person's Absence
Begin by acknowledging the person you are remembering and the fact that they are not physically present. You can say something like, "As we begin this ceremony, we want to take a moment to remember and honour [name], who is not here with us today, but whose memory lives on." This sets the tone for the tribute and helps guests understand the significance of the candle lighting.
Sharing Memories and Special Moments
It is often meaningful to share a few memories or special moments you shared with the person you are honouring. This helps guests understand why this person was so important to you and why you have chosen to remember them on your wedding day. For example, "Grandma and Grandpa were always the first on the dance floor. They lit up the room, and these candles are a reminder of their light and love."
Expressing Love and Gratitude
When lighting the candle, you can express your love and gratitude for the deceased. You can say something like, " [Name], we love and miss you. We know your spirit is here with us, sharing in our joy." This type of message conveys the ongoing presence of the person in a different form, acknowledging that their memory and impact will always remain.
Poems, Quotes, or Bible Verses
You may also choose to include a poem, quote, or bible verse that holds special significance. For instance, "Do not stand at my grave and weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye is a commonly used poem for memorial candles. Alternatively, a simple message such as "Rest in Peace" or "We will always remember you" can be just as powerful.
Inviting Guests to Join in Remembrance
If you wish to include your guests in the tribute, you can invite them to join you in a quiet moment of remembrance. For example, "Please join us in remembering [name] and recognising the love and support they bestowed upon us. Their spirit is here with us today, and we are grateful." This allows your guests to reflect on the person's life and their impact on your journey.
The specific wording you choose should reflect your feelings and emotions towards the departed loved one. Memorial candles provide a sense of comfort and create a unique aspect of your wedding ceremony, honouring those who are no longer with us.
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How to personalise memorial candles
Memorial candles are a beautiful way to honour a loved one at a wedding. There are many ways to personalise memorial candles, from the candle's design to the ceremony surrounding its lighting. Here are some ideas to make your memorial candle unique and special:
Quotes and Sayings
Incorporate a quote or saying that reflects the spirit of your loved one. For example, a spiritual quote for a religious person or a humorous quote for someone with a jovial personality. Alternatively, you could use a quote about the power of light and memory, such as Gandhi's "A thousand candles can be lit by a single flame".
Names, Dates and Messages
Engrave or print the name, birth and death dates, or a brief, heartfelt message onto the candle. You could also include the relationship of the deceased to the couple, for example, "Grandma and Grandpa, always the first on the dance floor".
Photographs
Add a photograph to the candle's design, whether it's a picture of the departed loved one or a cherished memory. You could also place a framed photo next to the candle as part of the display.
Scents and Mementos
Choose a scent that reminds you of your loved one by blending essential oils into the candle wax. You can also embed small mementos, such as a piece of jewellery, a lock of hair, or a favourite trinket, to enhance the personal significance of the candle.
Charms
Select charms that hold significance to the person being commemorated and attach them to the candle holder using decorative strings or glue.
Custom Candle Molds
Opt for unique shapes and designs that resonate with the memories of the individual. For example, a hurricane lantern with a verse or a customised image on the candle's surface.
The memorial candle can be placed at the spot where the loved one would have sat or on a memorial table. It is usually lit before the ceremony, with at least one other candle at the front, from which the couple can light the memorial candle. You may also wish to include a few lines in the wedding program about who the candle honours.
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Memorial candle holders and accessories
Memorial candles are a beautiful way to honour a loved one at your wedding. You can purchase personalised candles or candle holders with verses, or simply use a keepsake candle you may already have at home. Here are some ideas for memorial candle holders and accessories:
Hurricane Lantern
A personalised hurricane lantern is a lovely way to display your memorial candle. You can include a verse such as "This candle burns in memory of [Name], 1948-2020". This type of lantern is also ideal if you plan to burn the candle for an extended period, such as on a memorial table.
Floating Candle
A floating candle is a unique option for a memorial table or to place at the front during the ceremony. It can be placed in a vase or bowl with water, creating a peaceful and elegant display.
Memorial Candle Holder with Verse
Some memorial candle holders feature verses, such as "Your life was a blessing. Your memory, a treasure. You are loved beyond words and missed beyond measure." This is a heartfelt way to honour your loved one and can be personalised with their name and dates.
Jar or Container
To avoid the memorial flame going out during the ceremony, it is recommended to place the candle within a jar or similar container. This can be a simple, clear jar or something more decorative, such as a hurricane lantern or candle holder.
Flowers and Bouquets
Flowers can be used to enhance the memorial display. You can place the candle among flowers on a memorial table or include a small bouquet alongside the candle. White roses, for example, can symbolise peace and remembrance.
Framed Photo
Including a framed photo of your loved one is a wonderful way to personalise the memorial candle display. It can be placed next to the candle or on a memorial table, along with flowers and other decorative elements.
When choosing memorial candle holders and accessories, consider the overall style and theme of your wedding, as well as what would best honour the memory of your loved one.
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Frequently asked questions
You can buy memorial candles for weddings from Amazon, David's Bridal, and Target.
The memorial candle can be placed at the spot where the missing loved one would have sat at the wedding, or at the front of the ceremony. It can also be placed at a memorial table and burned at the reception.
The memorial candle is usually lit at the beginning of the ceremony.
You can say something like: "Before we continue with the ceremony, [couple names] would like to take a moment to honour [name of deceased] who passed away on [date]. All those who knew [name] are missing her here today. Please honour [name] with a moment of silence while [couple names] light this memorial candle."
You can include a bouquet of flowers, a framed photo of the deceased, and a memorial vase or candle holder.
