A Child-Free Wedding: Crafting The Perfect Invitation Wording

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to navigating the guest list. One of the most controversial topics surrounding weddings is whether or not to invite children. If you've decided on a child-free wedding, it's important to communicate this to your guests clearly and sensitively. Here are some tips on how to word your wedding invitations to politely convey that children are not invited.

Be direct and polite: We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding can be a tricky decision. If you've opted for an adult-only celebration, it's important to communicate this clearly and politely to your guests. Here are some ways to do this while maintaining a friendly and respectful tone:

Be Direct and Polite:

"We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding." This phrase sets a clear boundary while expressing gratitude and kindness. It acknowledges that guests may have children, but politely asks that they make other arrangements for the wedding day. This approach ensures that your wishes are known without causing any potential confusion or misunderstanding.

Provide an Explanation:

Consider including a brief explanation for your decision. For example, you could say, "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding due to limited space and our desire to create an intimate atmosphere." By providing a reason, you show consideration for your guests' understanding and help them comprehend the logistics behind your choice.

Address Invitations Properly:

Ensure that your wedding invitations are addressed only to the specific adults who are invited. Traditionally, only those listed on the inner envelope are considered official guests. Avoid addressing invitations to "the entire family" or using phrases like "and family," as this may create confusion or false expectations. Being explicit about the invitees helps to reinforce your adult-only request.

Use Clear Wording:

On your RSVP cards, be explicit about the adult-only nature of the event. You can say something like, "We have reserved two seats in your honour. We kindly request that you make other arrangements for your children during the wedding." This reinforces the message and leaves no room for ambiguity.

Share the Message Across Multiple Platforms:

In addition to your invitations, utilise other communication channels such as your wedding website, save-the-dates, and follow-up messages. By consistently conveying the adult-only aspect across multiple touchpoints, you reduce the risk of misunderstandings and ensure that your guests have ample notice to make the necessary arrangements.

Offer Alternatives or Accommodations:

If possible, consider providing alternatives for guests with children. For example, you could suggest trusted babysitters or childcare services in the area, or even organise a group babysitting option for the wedding day. While this is not mandatory, it demonstrates your thoughtfulness and can help guests feel supported in honouring your request.

Address envelopes carefully: Only those named are invited

When it comes to addressing your wedding invitations, it's important to be clear and direct about who is invited to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding. Here are some tips and suggestions for addressing your envelopes to ensure that only those named are invited:

• Outer and Inner Envelopes: Use both an outer and inner envelope for your invitations. Address the outer envelope more formally with titles and last names, such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." On the inner envelope, use first names or nicknames, such as "John and Jane." This helps indicate that only the specified individuals are invited.
• Be Specific with Names: On the envelope and the invitation card, include the exact names of those who are invited. Avoid using phrases like "and family" or "and guest." By listing specific names, you make it clear that only those named individuals are invited.
• Avoid Vague Salutations: Stay away from vague salutations like "To whom it may concern" or "To all the Smith family." Instead, list the names of the invited guests to ensure that there is no ambiguity about who is invited.
• Consider Envelope Size: Choose envelopes that fit the number of invited guests. For example, if you are inviting a couple, use an envelope size that accommodates their names without extra space that might suggest additional guests are welcome.
• Include RSVP Cards: Include RSVP cards with your invitations and specify the number of seats reserved for each invited guest or couple. This reinforces the idea that only those named are invited and helps with accurate headcounts for planning purposes.
• Online RSVP Options: Provide an online RSVP option on your wedding website, where guests can specify the number of attendees. This can help avoid any confusion and reinforce the understanding that only named individuals are invited.
• Consistency is Key: Ensure that your wording and approach are consistent across all communication channels, including save-the-dates, invitations, response cards, and your wedding website. This helps to avoid mixed messages and reinforces your intention to have an adult-only event.

Remember, it's important to be considerate and compassionate while also being clear and direct. Addressing your envelopes carefully is a crucial step in ensuring that your wedding plans are communicated effectively to your guests.

Be clear and consistent: Apply the rule to all guests, with exceptions for family

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding is a personal choice. If you choose not to, it's important to be clear and consistent in your messaging to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some tips and examples to help you communicate this to your guests effectively:

Be Clear and Consistent:

Emphasise that the rule applies to all guests by using phrases like "adults-only event" or "no children." This can be included on your save-the-dates, wedding invitations, and response cards. Here are some examples of clear and consistent wording:

• "Our wedding is adults-only."
• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "Please be aware that this will be an adults-only wedding."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."

Exceptions for Family:

If you choose to invite children from your immediate family or wedding party, be sure to let other guests know. This can be done by including a note on your invitations or response cards, such as:

• "Unfortunately, as much as we'd love to invite all of our friends' children, we can only accommodate a few close family children."
• "Due to space constraints, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate family to our wedding."
• "We are only able to accommodate the children of the wedding party."
• "Children of immediate family only, please."
• "We wish we could include all children but are unfortunately only able to invite immediate family."

Remember, it's your wedding, and you can choose who you want to be there. Be considerate in your wording, give guests plenty of notice, and don't be afraid to set clear boundaries.

Be considerate: Understand if parents can't attend and accept that some may need to leave early

Deciding not to invite children to your wedding is a perfectly valid choice. However, it's important to be considerate of your guests' needs and understand that some parents may not be able to attend or may need to leave early. Here are some tips to keep in mind when planning your child-free wedding:

Be Understanding if Parents Can't Attend

It's important to respect your guests' decisions if they choose not to attend your wedding due to childcare constraints. Don't take it personally if some parents decline your invitation. It's not uncommon for parents to find it inconvenient or difficult to be away from their children, especially if they are very young. Remember that it's your guests' choice to attend or not, just as it's your choice to have a child-free wedding.

Make Your Adult-Only Policy Clear

To avoid any confusion or hurt feelings, ensure that your adult-only policy is communicated clearly from the start. Address your invitations only to the invited guests, and consider including a line on the response card indicating the number of seats reserved for them. This will help your guests understand who is invited and make it less likely that they will assume their children are included.

Provide Advance Notice

Let parents know about your adult-only policy as early as possible. This will give them time to consider their options and make necessary childcare arrangements. You can include this information on your save-the-dates, wedding invitations, wedding website, and response cards. By giving your guests advance notice, you're showing consideration for their needs and helping them plan ahead.

Be Consistent with Your Policy

It's important to apply your adult-only policy consistently to all guests. You can make exceptions for children of immediate family members, bridesmaids, ushers, page boys, or flower girls, but be sure to let your other guests know about these exceptions. Consistency will help avoid any misunderstandings or hard feelings.

Accept That Some Parents May Need to Leave Early

Even if parents are able to attend your wedding, they may need to leave early, especially if they have young children at home. Be understanding of their situation and don't take their early departure personally. Accept that their priorities may lie with their children, and respect their decision to leave when needed.

Offer Childcare Options if Possible

Although it's not obligatory, you may want to consider providing a creche or professional babysitting services for guests with children. This is especially thoughtful if you're having a destination wedding or if many of your guests are travelling with children. It's a nice gesture that shows you're considerate of your guests' needs, even if you choose not to invite children to the wedding itself.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you have the right to decide how you want to celebrate your special day. By being considerate of your guests' needs and communicating your adult-only policy clearly, you can help ensure that everyone understands and respects your decision.

Offer alternatives: Suggest a creche/babysitter or offer to cover costs

Offering alternatives to your guests is a thoughtful way to soften the impact of a child-free wedding. Here are some ways to suggest a crèche, babysitter, or offer to cover the costs:

Suggest a crèche or babysitter

If your venue has space, you could suggest a crèche or babysitting service for the children. This can be a separate room at the venue with a few simple activities, or a designated area where parents can drop off their children. You could include a line on your invitation such as:

> "We will be providing a crèche. Please see our wedding website for further details."

> "All children will be looked after in the nursery during the ceremony but are welcome to join us in the main hall for the reception!"

> "We respectfully request that under-18s do not attend the reception. We will be organising a crèche, please contact us for more details."

> "We will be organising a babysitting service in [venue room name]. Feel free to make use of this from [time] onwards."

Offer to cover costs

If your budget allows, you could offer to cover the costs of a babysitter or childcare for your guests. This could be a nice gesture, especially if you have guests travelling from out of town or if it is a destination wedding. You could say:

> "We regret that due to cost restrictions, we are only able to invite over-18s to our wedding. However, we are happy to help with babysitting costs, please get in touch if this would be useful."

> "We are unable to accommodate children, but we are happy to contribute to babysitting costs for the evening. Please get in touch if this is something you would be interested in."

> "We are very sorry, but we are unable to invite children to the wedding. If you would like to bring your children and need help with babysitting costs, please let us know."

Combine the two

You could also suggest a crèche or babysitter and offer to contribute to the costs. This could be a good option if you are unable to cover the full amount but would still like to help your guests:

> "We are delighted to welcome children to the ceremony and early reception. However, from Xpm onwards, the wedding will be adults only. We will be providing a crèche and are happy to contribute to babysitting costs for the evening."

> "We are unable to accommodate children at our wedding, but we are happy to help with babysitting costs for the day. Please get in touch if this is something you would be interested in."

Frequently asked questions