Rsvp Dates: Setting The Tone For Your Wedding

Planning a wedding comes with a lot of excitement, but it can also be stressful. One of the most important things to get right is the RSVP date, which is crucial for ensuring a smooth event planning process. The RSVP deadline should be set at least two to four weeks before the wedding, with invitations sent out six to eight weeks prior. This gives guests enough time to respond and provides the couple with ample time to finalise details such as the seating plan and catering. For destination weddings, the RSVP deadline should be around two months before the wedding, with invitations sent out four months in advance. This allows guests to make the necessary travel arrangements and gives the couple more time to plan.

RSVPs for destination weddings

Planning a destination wedding comes with its own unique set of challenges, and ensuring that you get timely RSVPs from your guests is one of them. Here are some tips and suggestions for managing RSVPs for your destination wedding:

Timing is Everything

It is generally recommended that you request RSVPs for your destination wedding at least two months before the wedding date. This is to allow your guests ample time to make travel arrangements, which often include booking flights and accommodations. Sending out your invitations about four months before the wedding date gives your guests a comfortable window to plan their attendance. It's also a good idea to send out save-the-dates even earlier, especially if your wedding is during a busy travel season. This gives your guests a heads-up to start planning and requesting time off from work.

Online RSVPs

Setting up a personal website or using an app can be a convenient way to manage RSVPs for a destination wedding. This method allows you to receive email alerts when someone RSVPs, and you can easily log in to see the current headcount. It also gives you a direct way to follow up with guests to reconfirm their attendance if needed.

Caterer and Venue Headcount

Your caterer and venue will typically require a final headcount one to two weeks before the wedding. Be sure to ask them for a firm date so you can work backward to set your RSVP deadline. For example, if your final headcount is due on June 6th, set your RSVP deadline for May 23rd, giving yourself a two-week buffer to gather late responses and provide an accurate count to your vendors.

Group Travel and Special Rates

If you've arranged group travel or secured special rates for your guests, be sure to coordinate with your travel agent to determine when they need a final headcount. This will impact your RSVP deadline, as you'll need to give your guests enough time to confirm their attendance before providing the final numbers to the travel agent.

Clear and Engaging Wording

When requesting RSVPs, consider using wording that clearly communicates the need for a response, especially for guests who may not be familiar with the term "RSVP." You can also include engaging calls to action, such as requesting a song request or a favourite memory of the couple, to make the process more interactive and encourage responses.

Follow-up with Guests

Despite your best efforts, there may be guests who don't respond by the deadline. It's a good idea to set aside some time to follow up with these guests via text, email, or phone to confirm their attendance. This is especially important for destination weddings, as you'll want to ensure that everyone has their travel plans sorted out.

By following these suggestions, you can effectively manage the RSVP process for your destination wedding and ensure that you have an accurate headcount for your special day.

How to ensure all guests RSVP

RSVPs are an important part of wedding planning. They help you get an accurate headcount of guests, which is crucial for planning food, seating, and other arrangements. Here are some tips to ensure you receive timely responses from all your guests:

Make it Easy for Your Guests to Respond

Provide a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with your invitation. You can also offer multiple response options, such as responding via your wedding website or through a text or email. The more options you provide, the easier it will be for your guests to respond.

Set a Clear Deadline

Choose an RSVP deadline that is about three to four weeks before your wedding date. This gives you a buffer to gather late responses and provide a final headcount to your vendors. Make the deadline clear and prominent on the invitation, using a large, eye-catching font or creative design.

Send Invitations Early

Mail your invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests ample time to respond and make travel arrangements if needed. Sending invitations early also helps guests who may need reminders to respond.

Explain the Importance of Their Response

Let your guests know why their response is important. You can include a brief note on the invitation, such as "Please respond so we can ensure enough food and seating for everyone." This simple reminder can encourage guests to respond promptly.

Provide Response Options on the RSVP Card

On the RSVP card, include options for guests to indicate their response, such as "Accepts with pleasure" or "Declines with regret." This makes it clear that a response is needed, even if they are declining the invitation.

Follow Up with Guests Who Haven't Responded

As the deadline approaches, don't hesitate to reach out to guests who haven't responded. Send polite reminders via text, email, or phone call. Let them know you need their response by a specific date to finalise plans.

By following these tips, you can increase the likelihood of receiving timely RSVPs from all your guests, making your wedding planning a little less stressful!

The ideal time to send out invites

So, you've picked a date, booked a venue, and now it's time to send out those invites. But when is the best time to do this?

For non-destination weddings, it is recommended that invites are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements. Sending invites within this time frame also means your guests are unlikely to have made other plans. It also gives you enough time to chase up any late responses and get a final headcount for your vendors.

For destination weddings, you should allow a little more time. Send out invites at least ten to twelve weeks before the wedding, and ask that RSVPs are returned within a month. This gives guests enough time to book travel and accommodation.

If you're concerned about guests not being able to commit with only eight to twelve weeks' notice, you can send a ""Save the Date" card in advance. These are typically sent six to eight months before the wedding but can be mailed up to a year in advance if you've finalised your details.

Now you know when to send out your invites, you can start thinking about when you need those RSVPs back by.

What to do if guests don't respond

When setting an RSVP date for a wedding, it is recommended to choose a date that is about three to four weeks before the wedding date. This is because caterers and venues will need an accurate headcount one to two weeks before the wedding day. Setting a deadline for RSVPs also helps to keep costs down, as there can be a big difference in expense depending on the number of guests.

Now, what happens when guests don't respond? Here are some steps you can take:

Send a Polite Reminder

Use email or text messages to gently nudge late responders. Send out the first reminder about a week before the RSVP deadline. This gives people who may have forgotten a chance to respond before it's too late. Here's an example of what you could write:

> Hi, [guest name]! Not long now until the wedding – [partner] and I are so excited! This is just a quick reminder that I need your RSVP by [date]. Don’t worry if you can’t attend—I just need to know who is and isn’t coming, so that I can confirm the final head count with the caterer. If you’ve lost your RSVP card, that’s fine, just drop me a quick message, give me a call, or RSVP via our wedding website!

Make a Phone Call

If the RSVP deadline arrives and you still haven't received all your responses, try giving your guests a call. They may have noticed your email or text but haven't had the time to reply. Calling lets them know that you're serious about getting their response. If they answer, there's no need to be upset; they may have felt embarrassed that they couldn't come or may have been unsure if they could attend.

Meet in Person (Optional)

If some guests still don't respond to your texts and calls, consider meeting them in person. This may be a last resort, but it could be an option for very important guests, such as close family members or friends. Let them know that there's no issue if they don't want to attend, but emphasize that you need to know as soon as possible.

Assume They Aren't Coming

If the RSVP deadline has passed and you still can't get ahold of some guests, it's probably safe to assume they aren't coming. If it's been more than a week after the deadline, you can send them a final text message along these lines:

> Hi there [name], I hope you’re well. I’m just letting you know that since the RSVP deadline was last week and I haven’t heard from you, I’m assuming you can’t make it to our wedding. If you are planning to come, please let me know by the end of today. No worries if not! Take care!

Remember, it's important to stay polite and calm throughout this process. Wedding planning can be stressful, so don't forget to practice self-care and surround yourself with supportive friends and family.

How to word the RSVP request

The wording of your RSVP request is important to ensure your guests know how and when to respond. Here are some tips and examples to help you word your RSVP request effectively:

Provide Clear Instructions:

Explain how guests should RSVP by including specific instructions on the card. Indicate whether they should mail in an RSVP card, visit your wedding website, or respond via phone, email, or text. For formal events, include a pre-addressed and pre-stamped return envelope for guests to send back their responses.

Set a Clear Deadline:

Give your guests a clear deadline for responding, typically around three to four weeks before the wedding. This will help you finalise details with your vendors and ensure an accurate headcount for catering and seating arrangements. Make the deadline prominent and easy to spot on the card.

Include Essential Information:

On the RSVP card, provide a way for guests to indicate their attendance, such as checkboxes or fill-in-the-blank lines. Include sufficient space for guests to list their names and any plus-ones. It's also helpful to ask about dietary restrictions and other preferences, such as song requests.

Add a Creative Touch:

Feel free to inject your personality and wedding theme into the wording. Instead of the traditional "Accepts with Pleasure/Regretfully Declines," you can use more creative phrases like "Will be there with bells on" or "Sorry, party on without me!" You can also ask fun questions, such as requesting a song that will get them on the dance floor or their favourite memory of the couple.

Examples:

• "Répondez S'il Vous Plaît (RSVP) Your response is requested before [date]. Name(s) :__________________ ▢ accept(s) with pleasure ▢ decline(s) with regret Entrée Preference: ▢ Filet Mignon ▢ Vegetable Medley Dessert Preference: ▢ Parfait ▢ Macarons Dress Code: White tie"
• "Kindly Respond We ask you to reply before [date]. Name(s) :__________________ ▢ will be there to celebrate ▢ will be toasting from afar Entrée Preference: ▢ Meat ▢ Vegetarian Dessert Preference: ▢ Parfait ▢ Macarons"
• "Will You Be Joining Us? We kindly request your reply before [date]. Name(s) of our fabulous guests:__________________ ▢ will be there with bells on ▢ will be there in spirit Song request:__________________ Advice for the newlyweds: __________________ Entrée Preference: ▢ Meat ▢ Vegetarian Dessert Preference: ▢ Parfait ▢ Macarons"

Frequently asked questions